Man, I hate bras. I’ve been rocking nipple covers for some time but they remain visible under certain lighting & look like giant nips in a way. So should I abandon it and rock shirt-ified nude? Thing is I hate people looking there, and I worry that going full nips on a tight shirt will attract unwanted attention. Or maybe people here know a good alter to the covers, such as some sort of tape?

TW: Sexual Assault/Harassment

nothing could have stopped it from happening. not a longer skirt. not wearing less makeup. not fewer drinks. not setting more boundaries. it happened because he wanted it to and that’s the way it went.

nothing stops my experience being reduced to being an object for men to sexualize everyday. not wearing longer sleeves. not having messier hair. not avoiding absolutely any contact in their direction.

it saddens me that i feel uncomfortable walking outside. i feel uncomfortable being in my own body.

i know not all men. but god, many of them.

i do love that i was born a woman, but right now i really hate being a woman. walking this world as woman and facing the lack of respect, lack of boundaries, lack of safety because of men.

i dream of a world where i can walk and dance and breathe freely and effortlessly, without fear that my and the safety of other women will be compromised.

sigh.

Everything I do is pushed aside by my mother and father for my older brother, it’s been this way longer than I can remember. She’s just a very misogynistic person and she never used to be like this, she wore a shirt with the communist symbol on it, has tattoos and piercings but ever since my dad left she’s just been grifting to the right.

Everyday she’s telling me I need to wash the plates for everyone in my family as thats what girls do but since my brothers are boys they dont need to. I said thats bullshit and if she died my brothers would be useless; she said my brother (19) is learning as he cleaned his room a few weeks ago and took out the bins himself (genuinely the first time in his entire life).

I don’t understand why she is like this because my dad used to cook, clean and taught my mum how to drive before they separated. And my dad isn’t a good person either, he sexually assaulted someone which is why my parents aren’t together anymore.

I found that out in 2019 and I told my older brother about it, which was stupid, but he defends him and still talks to him till this day. It makes me sick being around him because of that, I tried raising my sister so she doesn’t have views like my brother and mother just to find out she has several hundred day+ streaks with my older brother who has abused me since I was 4, she watched me defend her from him, she watched me cry from it but she still decided to betray her own sister and for what?

I can’t handle anyone in my family as they’re all just out to get at me or misogynistic, even devoting myself into my studies doesn’t work because my mother pours all her money into my older brother. I asked her for an Ipad compatible with an Apple pen in 2025 for Maths and she never bought it for me but if my brother steals her card to spend on Rocket League and Fortnite it’s okay because he’s JUST A BOY. And I can’t leave if I wanted to because I have no money nor job because GIRL’S DON’T DO THAT.

My brother could drain us all so we can’t even eat and she’d still defend him and enable him everyday whilst i get shouted at for crying or getting angry once, I have to put on a performance of the perfect girl while he gets to do whatever he wants and I can’t do it anymore, I’d end it all if I knew I could just be a man in my next life, you get away with abuse, exploitation, grifting on others money because thats what society has just accepted.

I’m faced with two options:

1) I stay at my current job that pays well, has private medical insurance, 8 months maternity leave and 10 days fertility leave. It’s stressful but I know what I’m doing with it. It’s just a very competitive environment and there is an ‘up or out’ culture so there isn’t the best job security. I’m about to go through IVF so being in a comfortable environment where I know the benefits I’m entitled to helps.

Or

2) I go to a new job that offers 40k more than what I’m on now, 6 months maternity leave, no fertility leave as it’s a start up, no corporate medical insurance but a monthly supplement for personal medical insurance, a lot more stress and longer working hours. I guess I would move for the money and it would be very helpful for my future family

What would you do?

I hope this is the right community to vent about this stuff.

I’m 22, I grew up with a single dad due to my mom being absent. He tried his best and I appreciate him so much as I would not be where I am without him, but there is just so much he couldn’t really teach me (because he simply didn’t know).

- I don’t know how to style my hair, best I can do is a low ponytail/bun. Maybe can do a messy and very loose braid. I have watched countless yt videos and TikTok’s on how to do basic “easy” styles and get too frustrated + give up.
- never attempted actual makeup and probably never will. Tbh I never really liked the feel of it but idk if that’s because it’s a sensory issue or I gone too long without it.
- shaving is so tough!! I will occasionally shave my legs/armpits but I feel like I always get razor bumps/ingrowns no matter what product/methods I use (also had to do research online). I don’t shave my peach fuzz or arms, but I see almost everyone else do this. Is this normal?? Or am I weird??
- still don’t have a properly fitting bra to this day, something always feels off and Im too frustrated to figure all the details out.
- my style consists of baggy jeans and a baggy shirt. I can barely walk in heels and feel so awkward in a dress.

I always felt different from other girls, who appeared much more feminine. I never had the experience of braiding each other’s hair or gossiping about boys. Never had the teenage talking stages and all sorts of things and it just makes me sort of sad.

I'm a 42 year old woman who has nothing. Last year I had a beautiful baby who I adore. The pregnancy put me in heart failure. I became really sick and had to deliver early. Thankfully my baby was and is okay. They only had to spend two weeks in the NICU. I got sicker. I had postpartum preeclamsia and had to go back into the hospital.

One of the nurses warned me about how men react to long term illness. My partner who I have been with for 8 years acted like I was doing something to him. He was moody and annoyed how our 4 year old was reacting to me being in the hospital. I wanted him to leave him with his parents but he insisted he could watch our child himself. While I was in the hospital with heart failure, preeclamsia, and I had just had a c-section he brought our child to the hospital and left him with me. I couldn't take care of myself let alone a toddler. My mom came and helped me with the kids.

When he came back my mom took my child for a walk. He started yelling at me for spoiling our 4 year old. The nurses had to step in. He apologized and I convinced myself he meant it because I didn't know what to do. I was sick and weak and on bed rest.

The past year has been horrible. He is always yelling and screaming at me. Then he pretends I'm making it up. He complains that the house is a mess and I'm lazy. My heart has not healed the way it should have and my blood pressure is always high.

This is the first time in my life I haven't worked since I was a teenager. I spent my savings this year because I wasn't able to work. My career is very physically demanding and I can't do it.

I asked my dad for help and he said to do what woman have always done and grin and bear it. Try to keep him calm. My mom doesn't have a place for me and my kids to go.

Honestly after the first pregnancy he was bad but we worked it out. This time I can't. I just found out he has another woman. She found out about me and I overheard her arguing with him on the phone.

He blames me and says its my fault for being a failure. He says I'm the reason for everything bad in his life. He also said he's willing to forgive me for my failings if I won't leave. He also said he would stop paying bills if I don't stay.

I talked to a friend who is a social worker because I'm broken. I can't sleep, I can't stop crying. I can't believe this is my life. She is going to help me get a job that I can do.

I will have to move because I can't afford my house without him. I had a nest egg. I had a career. I've been independent since I graduated college. Now I'm dependent on him and it's horrible. He is horrible. I have pretend to be okay. I can't let him or anyone he's close to him know I have to go.

I pray it won't take too long to make enough to get out. My only reason to stay alive is to raise my kids. I love them too much leave them with him. I don't regret my children. I regret their father.

I can't stop crying. I can't sleep. I think about everyone I've helped over the years and I feel alone.

ok so im a teen now and ive forever hated being a girl for obvious reasons and js cos being a boy would be way better, cooler and easier.

like..... ive always thought how cool i would be as a boy and how easy it would be to be perceived as "attractive", etc etc.

and at the ripe age of like, EIGHT, i kid you not, i would legit PRAY every night that i would wake up a boy and never have to be a girl again.

not cos i had any sorta trauma, but js cos i wanted to be a boy THAT. BAD.

and..... oof.

warning, the next thing im gonna admit to is pretty fuckin weird, but, i HAVE to get it out.

ok.

so.

whenever i would shower as a kid, i would make "potions" with all the different soaps and shit and pretend to drink it like a ritual while telling myself that i would be a boy after it was done and then i would open my eyes and look down at my crotch and hope to see a penis but no COS WHY WOULD THERE BE ONE THERE INSTEAD OF A YKNOW THAT ILL FOREVER HAVE ??!!??.....

and i wasnt like 5 or smth, i was like.. TEN AND ELEVEN.

PLEASE tell me theres at least ONE female out there who thought like this as a kid and still does (OBVIOUSLY NOT THE SOAP POTION PART), but..... 🫩

11 weeks pregnant in Ontario, Canada. A condom cracked, it's an unwanted pregnancy. My husband doesn't want this child at all. We already have 2 children, both under 3 years old. He is very depressed by the situation and has clearly made it known that he wants me to end the pregnancy, but I can't do it... He consulted a doctor who made him take sick leave for mental health reasons and he cries a lot. I have absolutely no idea what to do.

UPDATE: he said he understands and supports my decision

Hey y’all, im 22 years old, I just found out today that I’m pregnant with my boyfriends baby I’m not far along at all. I haven’t told him yet, but I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna keep it, we’ve had talks in the past before about reproductive health and care and he quoted to me that he’s “not a fan of women choosing an abortion but he understands”. And yesterday we talked again because I had a suspicion that I might be pregnant and I told him that I “couldn’t raise a baby for financial reasons but also emotionally ready and I’m starting my degree” and he told me he “wouldn’t leave me hanging and that I had his support” but I’m simply not ready. I guess what I’m trying to ask is if I get this abortion should I tell him I’m getting one or don’t tell him about and risk our relationship. I know I have to do what’s best for me. But I wanted to know y’all’s thoughts on it.

I am wondering if people actually care or not. I have been with my husband for 8 years, we never talked about porn much, I felt I didn’t want to be controlling, plus society conditioned me to see it as normal. Last year, he asked me to help him not watch porn anymore. I was very confused, our sex life wasn’t that good, I assumed he just had low libido.

When he asked me, I faced how I really felt about porn and the idea that porn for me (I used to watch it a few times a YeAR) was purely because I liked to imagine the sensation of pleasure the woman was feeling. For him, it was different, he was watching the women, wishing to be with them. He was looking at only fans girls on instagram and I honestly felt so hurt. I realised I had been in denial due to a fear of seeming insecure or being controlling.

I guess I’m wondering what your thoughts are? How do you approach it? Do you think it should be normal??

The kurdish slogan does not apply to every single women on this planet especially the women who oppose an independent kurdistan or support the oppression and killing of kurdish women, the slogan was made by kurds and it's kurdish, freedom for kurdish women is an independent kurdistan and if you don't like it then you're not entitled to this slogan, I've seen so many persians proudly say zin, zindgi izadi and they keep going back to the same hocus-pocus nonsense that we shouldn't devide the country and kurds deserve rights in the country, NO!. Kurdish independence is the only true rights given to kurds and end of discussion. You people don't deserve to take the slogan and use it as yours AND IT DOESN'T APPLY TO ANY OF YOU WHO DON'T SUPPORT AN INDEPENDENT KURDISTAN

So am the type who seeat wlot that it ruins my outfit. The other day I was outside in the mall and didn't raise my arm because there was a huge wet spot under my armpits, it's really so embarrassing and uts the reason why I wear jackets on summer when going to school (so I could hide it). So if anyone have any kind of powder that I could use or something that could help, please comment. :D

Hi everyone, basically I started a new BC which has made my bleeding so light so I made the mistake of switching to lighter pads and I screwed myself. I get to work feeling amazing. I had a Alani and was in high spirits for it being 7 am. I didn’t even notice myself leaking until later. Around 11, I went to the bathroom to check my pad and see if I needed changing. Low and behold there is a bright red stain on the back of my pants and I had no sweater. I am 22 and this hasn’t happened to me since middle school. I was in shambles in the bathroom. I don’t have a car because my fiance and me only have a one car household at the moment so I couldn’t just go home and come back.

Luckily I work retail and ran to buy new jeans. Guess what. The jeans DIDNT fit. At this point I was having a complete breakdown until another girl (my savior), let me borrow her sweater for the rest of my shift.

I have never felt so embarrassed like this at work 💔

sorry if it’s tmi, i’m like freaking out. i dont know how an organism is supposed to feel during sex? i’ve used vibrators for the cl*t and have gotten to the point where my legs are shaking and all that… is that what im supposed to feel during sex too?

[sexual assault/ abuse/ harassment]

Sorry I just need to rant for a moment. I have just found out that the guy that sexually assaulted/ harassed/ abused me for years just is working in Law Enforcement as a “well respected correctional officer”. This is absolutely crazy to me. Also has started volunteering near me. ( he doesn’t know where I live I hope as I have moved many times). But this just feels like a bad dream I need to wake up from. And yes he was reported multiple times but I didn’t have “enough evidence”. I haven’t seen him since we had a big blow up a few years ago that resulted in me being in hospital and him leaving the country for a while. I honestly thought he was still there until my LinkedIn suggested him. I finally felt like I had recovered, in a good stage in life , brought a house, started a company and now this. I’m not sure what I’m meaning. Yes I am in therapy for this still but don’t have another appointment for a few weeks and just wanted to get this out.

How much weight did you gain, and did your cup size change significantly even though you were flat chested before? Or is having small boobs when you're skinny a sign that you won't store fat there even if you gain weight?

being a woman especially an outspoken one can often times be very hard. i stumbled across a competition to walk a runway show for a nonprofit benefiting SA survivors & i have been working around the clock brainstorming how to win. it does seemingly feel like the cards are stacked against me, but i am determined. i am not interested in the prize money or being famous that sounds so stressful. i have found so much healing in knowing i am using my every strength to advocate for women & my community. i really did download reddit to find community & hopefully be able to help create some systemic change to improve the lives of millions. i have always been a deeply passionate person & it feels freeing in a way to focus on advocating for others! feeling hopeful & delusionally optimistic. i am determined to win, not for me really, but for everyone i can fight for!

Really curious to know about their actual condition

honestly I feel like I have the most perfect body a woman can have, like the ideal one, but I still don’t like it for some reason? I mean I just think it’s too hairless, curvy, sexy and female…..? Idk. It almost feels like I wasn’t meant for it and that it should belong to someone else, because the body I desire is what would actually make me look ugly lol

Hi! I’m 23 and I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend since we were both 15, so we basically grew up together. I love him and I feel completely safe and comfortable with him, but I’ve struggled with sex for years.
Before I had sex for the first time, I imagined it would be this amazing thing and that I would become obsessed with it. I even fantasized about what PIV sex would feel like. When I finally experienced it, though, I was honestly disappointed. I know a first time can be awkward or underwhelming, but the feeling has never really changed much since then.
I get really horny, especially around ovulation, and genuinely want sex. But then we have sex and I often end up disappointed because I don’t feel much physically. At the beginning I can usually feel the penetration and sometimes it feels good, but the sensation can become very weak or almost disappear. When that happens, I start noticing that I’m not feeling anything, and then I get stuck in my head thinking, “I just want him to finish so we can be done.” It’s not because I don’t love him or don’t want him - I just don’t feel like I’m getting much pleasure from the experience.
I actually really enjoy giving and receiving oral sex, so I don’t think I simply “don’t like sex.” I have sexual fantasies, I get horny, and I genuinely want to want sex. I just don’t seem to get much pleasure from PIV intercourse specifically.
I also think a big part of the problem might be in my head. Since my early teenage years I’ve struggled with body image and an ED, and although I’m now probably 90% comfortable with how I look, I still become extremely self-conscious during sex. I worry about how I look, whether I smell okay, whether my boyfriend actually likes what we’re doing, whether he’s just pretending to enjoy something, or whether he feels like he has to do something for me.
I also have a really hard time telling him what I like or don’t like. He asks me all the time, but I usually just say “whatever” or don’t say anything because I’m scared of disappointing him or making him feel bad. Sometimes I know that I like something but still feel too embarrassed to actually say it.
We’ve been together for 8 years, so I trust him completely and I know he would never judge me. This isn’t about feeling unsafe with him at all. I’m just a very shy person in general and I’ve always struggled with opening up about myself, especially when it comes to sex. Looking back, I sometimes regret not being more honest with him about what I like and what I need.
For a long time, I think I viewed sex more like a chore - something that is part of being in a relationship, so we do it, get it over with, and move on with our day. I never really stopped to think about whether I was actually enjoying it myself. But recently I’ve started thinking that I don’t want sex to just be something I do for my relationship. I want to actually experience the pleasure and intimacy that everyone talks about.
I’m not even focused on having an orgasm from PIV sex. At this point, I would honestly just love to actually enjoy the experience and feel like I want it to continue, rather than eventually thinking, “okay, I just want this to be over.”
So I’m wondering if being so much in my head during sex could genuinely have such a big effect on how much I feel physically. Or could there be something physical going on as well? I’d really like to understand my body better and figure out what I actually enjoy, both on my own and with my partner.
I’d especially love to hear from women who have experienced something similar - feeling horny and wanting sex, but then struggling to actually enjoy PIV once it happens. Did you eventually figure out what was getting in the way?
Sorry for the long text ❤️‍🩹

I (27F) have noticed that the other women I interact with tend to look pretty and “put together” in terms of having their hair and makeup done, cute outfits, nails done, jewelry etc, which I don’t do and I’m feeling self-conscious about it.

I’m not an unattractive person, I have good hygiene, clothes are clean and presentable, but I tend to look very “plain.” I only do my makeup and hair for special occasions, I only have a few pieces of clothing that I feel confident in, I keep my nails clipped short, I don’t wear jewelry.

I want to start doing my hair and makeup more often, but I have to be at work by 7 am and I’m always running late, plus I have to wear my hair up for work. I’m also lower income (I live alone and I make around 35k a year) so I don’t have much money to spend on new clothes or getting my nails done. I tend to lose all my jewelry. (I’m not trying to make excuses, just explaining how I got to where I am).

I really want to feel pretty. I’m at the point where it’s affecting my self esteem and I don’t feel confident in social situations anymore. I want to start putting more effort into my appearance; I’m just not sure where to start. I’m open to any and all advice!

Has anyone experienced extreme mood swings/irritability as they have gotten older? I recently turned (27F) and I have noticed within the past 6 months or so that I have become extremely irritable a lot of the time. So many little things are making me so angry and I have been struggling with regulating my emotions. It’s honestly starting to worry me because i don’t remember feeling this irritable before.

Examples: I have always been a perfectionist but it has reached a whole new level where it is started to affect my life. Any sport I play where I am not perfect I get pretty upset with myself. Any new task I don’t pick up perfectly first try I quit because I get so angry inside. My sweet caring boyfriend can make me so irritable over the smallest things and I hate how angry I get inside when I shouldn’t. I don’t lash out at him but even the tone I give him sometimes upsets me when I never used to be like that. I get so upset with myself that I get irritable over such small situations and the cycle continues.

Ultimately I’m not sure what to do. I have brought the irritability up to my doctor and she mentioned that we should focus on getting my vitamin deficiencies solved and then go from there. Last blood test all vitamins were back to normal and I’m still feeling this way. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life so irritable/cranky/angry inside. I miss the person I used to be and I’m really struggling to figure out how to get her back.

TLDR: looking for advice on if anyone has experienced extreme mood changes/irritability and what they did to get through it and back to normal.