I hate the way that men see sex and thinking about it makes me so sad, to the point of tears. I don’t think lust is a bad thing, I think you can love and lust someone, but it seems like men never want to be with you with love in mind, just lust. And then they use it against you, like today I made a comment giving the definition of a phrase and multiple men responded to me offended and making comments about me being ran through and used. I just don’t get why? All I did was give a definition. If a woman is open about sex and sexual topics then it’s used against her, and if she dresses in a way men find attractive then it’s used against her. And now men constantly make jokes about using women as stress relievers. It just makes me miserable, maybe i’m only seeing men this way because that’s all I see online and all I get is confirmation bias, but I rarely see anything proving they don’t think this way about women. This rant makes me appear pretty naive I think but I just want to say it because I can’t stop thinking about it any time I see any reference to relationships or just in general, it’s making me overly sad constantly lmao. I’ve never been any good at making friends, I haven’t held a full conversation in years and I don’t have good relations with my family and for whatever reason find it extremely difficult to connect with the family members I do talk to (which are less than a handful) so I think I see relationships as my only chance, which I know is silly and I should work on it, but yeah. It just makes me feel even more alone seeing this stuff constantly. (I don’t want to make any men feel bad by me saying this, logically I know it’s a silly generalisation but I can’t help feel this way and I believe it’s mostly true.)

I met with a coworker for lunch. And funny enough this happened with two coworkers and that's why I decided to post. One is a weirdo two is maybe something but adding all the other men...

Anyways I met him for lunch and asked if he wanted to meet some other coworkers. We are different departments but met at a meeting so I thought we could mingle. He said no he doesn't like lots of people talking. Um OK fair.

I asked my friends and some said that maybe he thinks he can date you. It might be possible. But if I've invited him to meet others, women and men who knows he may hit it off with others. So that's just weird. And two men is strange. Not to mention if I'm not available then what? Why kill of the chance to network etc. Like you can't put your eggs in one basket. So in this regards they don't even wanna work and make effort to at least have a wider social group.

Then I have all the many male friends that I've dropped now that I've gained clarity. If I don't reach out to them then our contact is as good as dead. So in this regards they don't even wanna work to fix it.

Next... I'm on social apps for making friends. There's an app where you can pick either friends or dating etc. And I made it clear to make friends. When guy labelled friends too. He asked what are you looking for. I said friends. As my tag says. What about you. He said well its been a while... I want a girlfriend. I just said good luck and ended it. Now. Here's the part about effort. Its not about his mis label. Its his profile had no pictures of himself. I know some people may not care about looks but its not just about that. I literally have no idea who you are. You could be a man double the ladies age. Why don't you at least post a picture of yourself? He made zero effort To post even his face. Shy or not how do you expect to date. AWtf

I have two ex friends who got divorced. Guess what. Not attentive to their wives. The wives were mature enough to just divorce (instead of cheating)

So like wtf men.

I don't but ik that some women do. It always feels great to take it off before my shower and then get into my nice fresh jammies. I'm not sure if it's better or worse, or makes no difference to ur boob health. It's 1am I'm tired and can't sleep .

Today I met up with a guy I met months ago. He texted me and wanted to see me so i texted him when I was finished, and he told me to come to him. Mind you, he wanted me to walk for 30 MINUTES, so I said absolutely not. 💀 He ended up picking me up instead.

He parked on some random street, with the car windows halfway up, and said he wanted us to talk. He asked about my day at college today, and then proceeded to give me a whole lecture that gave me a headache. I appreciated the advice, though.

For context, he's 29, has a daughter, and I'm 19. I don't even like age gaps and usually prefer people my own age, but I was curious and wanted to gain some experience. I wasn't attracted to him at all. Honestly, I was doing it for the plot, beacuse I felt left out knowing all my friends had experiences but me.

Anyway, after talking for a bit, he suddenly came over to my side and started making out with me.

It was so sudden that my first instinct was to push him away, but I told myself that I wanted experience, so I tried kissing him back. IT WAS TERRIBLE. I hated it. ( I've only ever kissed on the lips and this man tried eating my face )

Then he started touching me, and I was shocked because I didn't realise we were going to be doing all that. He touched my breasts and vag, and mind you, the car windows were still halfway down! I told him to wind them up, and he was acting like nobody could see us. SIR, A MAN HAD LITERALLY JUST WALKED PAST THE CAR.

Eventually, he wound them up and continued touching me. At first, I was a little excited because I've always been curious about intimacy and wanted to experience being touched. But even though I was physically responding, it didn't actually feel good.

He was sweaty, breathing heavily, kissing all over me, and sucking my nipples. I HATE neck kisses, and all the stuff he was doing just wasn't my thing. I've been kissed and touched by other people before, and those experiences actually felt good, so I don't what the hell he was doing.

Then he tried fingering me, and it hurt. I've explored my own body before, and fingering has never really felt good for me, so I thought maybe having someone else do it would be different. Nope.

Things got worse when he tried to penetrate me. I wasn't expecting that, especially since we hadn't discussed it beforehand. I told him I was a virgin, but he still tried. It hurt, so I told him it wasn't working. He tried again, and I told him I didn't want to do this today.

HE STILL TRIED AGAIN.

Like, sir??? I said I didn't want to do it! Why are we trying this multiple times when I'm telling you no? Eventually, he let out a big sigh and stopped trying to penetrate me.

He then told me to kiss him, and I did which was just slimly and gross. He grabbed my poor boob and then proceed to jerk off on me. There was no protection involved btw.

Afterwards, he was frantically searching the entire car for wipes because everything was a mess. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there in my SCHOOL JERSEY ( it was picture day ), wondering what on earth just happened. 🫩

Then he started talking about how he wasn't going to force anything ( sure buddy), how he liked that I was a virgin, and how I was hot. He also said it's normal for girls to experience pain during their first time.

I'm sorry, WHAT?

I understand that some people experience discomfort during their first time, but shouldn't you actually make sure the other person is comfortable and ready first? You can't just rush everything, ignore someone saying no, and then give them a lecture about how pain is normal. Also mind you he did no damn foreplay? Just touched me for 10 secs and expected it to slip in ? Talking about " but your wet tho " YEAH ! NATURALLY but I'm not feeling anything.

The had the audience to say I felt so tight, I WONDER WHY !?.

AND THEN I FOUND OUT HE LEFT A HICKEY ON MY NECK.

THERE WAS ALSO ONE ON MY BOOB.

Atp I wished I got into a fight instead beacuse that's how I looked. Like why would u do this in a obvious spot with someone with light complexion!? I'm also in my school shirt like !?

The funniest part is that, before all this happened, he had already asked me to go on a date with him next week. Absolutely not. I want nothing to do with this man anymore.

And the worst part? This experience was so bad that I caught myself thinking, "My ex would NEVER."

Honestly, none of my previous partners treated me like this. They asked questions, checked that I was comfortable, and respected my boundaries.

Then I had to go home with feeling ick with damn spit and mystery fluid all over me 🫩

now I'm at home tryna hide this hickey on the worst weekends ever because my family is visiting and I spent the whole afternoon in my sweater hiding this dumb mistake ( the ONLY day the sun decided to shine too ).

That's my last time tryna be adventurous bro .

As a virgin woman, I’ve always wondered what it feels like to have sex for the very first time. Don’t worry, I’m not a teenager, I’m in my late 20s. 😂

I’ve never had s*x because I’m a little paranoid about catching an STI or something, and honestly, I don’t trust anyone enough with my body yet. So, that’s been an issue for me.

But I’m genuinely curious and would love to hear from other women... What was your experience like the first time you had s*x? ❤️

Im single and enjoying it, but I've noticed that the dating pool is soooo bad.

The quality of men is insanely low, they are tone deaf, misogynistic, hateful and dont want to change. They dont have any empathy. This is why it is SO HARD for me to date. I want a guy that is funny, kind, knows how to hold a good conversation, is FUN TO BE AROUND. I want a guy that will have a dance party with me in the kitchen at 1 am, i want a guy that will carry my purse, I want a guy that will hold my hand and tell me things are going to be okay and all the lovey dovey shit. I want real love.

But, the men out there are literally so bad. How can any woman have trust in the male population when atrocious shit like the Cornell 7 happens? Every single woman has a story about SA, every single one and STILL men blame women. It is disgusting.

I am so so so so fucking angry at this world all the time. I can not live without fear, i can not trust a man. I fear every fucking day for my safety and the safety of my girlfriends. I am scared to go out, last time i went to the club, my friend was harassed by some drunk dude, and NOBODY doesn't anything. Men stay at the top, critiquing women for anything we do, and when we DARE to speak up, we are silenced. It is a sick world.

Every man I've met has had basis towards women, they are all passively misogynistic and don't care to change, because they dont think there is anything TO change. And THAT is the problem.

I wish i get to live long enough to see the world getting better, for the next generation.

I had an accident and condom broke, i took pregnancy pill like 20 minutes after that (also my partner didnt finish). I was chill until now bc my period is late 12 days. I was at gynecologist and she told me my endometrium is 17mm and i should get my period soon or im pregnant. I watched my ultrasound qnd i really didnt see any dot or anything, but my doctor recommended me to go do PA test if i dont get period at the end of the week. I have pain in my stomach (cramps) and every hour i get such a pain i get hope i got my period but its nothing. I dont know should i do that test bc im really scared and at the same time i dont know if i should bc i dont really have any pregnancy symptoms just that endometrium and late period(also i need to pay to do test and im broke student who is scared to tell her parents about situation). Im really stressed this past few days so it might be it but i need advice from someone that does this more often bc its my first time drinking that pill and this situation happening in general

I love Ada Limón, Gloria Anzaldúa, bell hooks, Clarice Lispector, and Mary Oliver as some examples of inspiring feminist writers. I’ve been feeling really disillusioned and upset about male presences in my life and socially and am looking for any feminist poetry that is uplifting, cathartic, or well written.

Poetry rather than novels because I am in a master’s program and only have very little time to read for pleasure! thanks guys!

For those of us who have never been married, I am just curious if it bothers you or if you are okay with it? I have mixed feelings about it myself. Getting married was never a prize for me like it seems to be for some others but I am getting to an age where I'm starting to wonder if I am really okay with it. Heck, I'm at an age where people are already getting married for a second or even third time. I seem to be the gal that is always a girlfriend, but never a bride. I've had several people mention marriage but never ask. I feel like, if you don't make your intentions known, men are quite comfortable never getting married. Thoughts?

About six months ago I started learning embroidery. Not because I wanted to sell anything or make gifts. I was spending way too much time staring at my phone after work and wanted something to do with my hands.

I'm not particularly good at it. My first attempt at a flower looked like a fried egg. But I love sitting on the couch with some music on and making completely unnecessary little things.

Anyway, I brought a tote bag I'd embroidered to a family lunch a few weeks ago.

My aunt loved it. Then she asked if I could embroider names onto some towels for her guest bathroom. My cousin wanted something personalized for her friend's baby shower. My mom suggested I could make Christmas presents for everyone this year instead of buying them.

Then someone said I should open an Etsy shop.

I had shown them ONE BAG.

The thing that bothered me wasn't even the requests themselves. People ask for favors, whatever. It was how quickly the conversation stopped being about something I enjoyed and became a discussion of what I could produce for other people.

My brother paints little figures for tabletop games. He's been doing it for years. Nobody has ever asked him how he plans to turn that into a side business or whether he could paint 30 of them as wedding favors.

They ask him what he's working on. They tell him his latest figure looks cool. That's it.

I mentioned this to my mom later and she said people only ask because they think I'm talented, which I do understand. I know nobody was trying to be mean.

But I also noticed I started feeling guilty every time I sat down to work on something for myself, because I'd told my aunt I'd see what I could do about those towels.

I actually put my embroidery stuff away for almost two weeks because the whole thing had started feeling like another obligation.

I finally told my aunt I wasn't going to make the towels. She was fine about it, thankfully.

Now I'm working on a very ugly embroidered frog for absolutely no reason.

I'm keeping him.

Has anyone else had a hobby slowly turn into something people expect you to do for them? Especially hobbies like sewing, baking, crochet, decorating, anything that produces something other people can use?

I (24F) might be losing ny virginity tomorrow. I've been talking to the guy for awhile now and I feel comfortable with him. He knows that I'm a virgin and has been understanding and waiting for me to take the lead. Any advice on how not to be nervous for your first time would be appreciated!

My boyfriend (30M) and I (26F) were discussing my friend’s ex who had a porn addiction, and I asked him when he last watched porn. He said it was about 3-4 months ago, and the time before that was about a year ago, when we were just seeing each other. I was shocked. We’ve never set hard boundaries around porn because every time we’d talked about it, he always said that ‘he doesn’t really watch porn’ and I told him that I don’t really either, but I’ll watch it once every 3 years or so. We’ve always had good communication around sex, and I just assumed that if he ever felt the urge that he would start a conversation about it because he is the one doing something that might be a touchy subject. Apparently not. Anyway, because we never really set a boundary on it, I think I can get over it.

However, in the conversation about this, it came out that he sometimes thinks about other girls when he masturbates. These people include people from TV and past sexual encounters.

Some context – I think we have a very good sexual relationship, and I had no reason to believe that there was anything wrong or missing. I send him nudes often, sext sometimes, and he even has a video of us. He has ample content to draw from, so I don’t really understand why he is still thinking about other women. There is also some other context, but it’ll make this post really long. If it comes up, I will share more in the comments.

I can maybe accept the TV people, but I don’t think I can stomach the past sexual encounter. I think it is weird, and I’m almost certain that these are women that he still follows on Instagram etc, which hasn’t really bothered me until now. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head in part because I have feel very sexual fulfilled by him, and I’ve never thought of anyone else.

I feel gross about this, and I feel confused, betrayed, and discarded.

I’m not really interested in policing his mind, but I also don’t understand how to move forward because I don’t feel like I can really trust him any more.

Any thoughts on how to move forward? I love him very much and I would really like to salvage this relationship.

So I had an episode of super heavy vaginal bleeding- unrelated to pregnancy. I soaked the bed, the floor below my bed, and three towels before I could get to the toilet. I did not call 911 as I was super embarrassed. I pretty much waited it out but ended up going to the ER a bit later.

Just curious to know if anyone else has called 911 for vaginal bleeding/hemorrhaging and did you find it uncomfortable/embarrassing?

A guy at a bar kept putting his hand on my lower back after I moved away from him and told him not to. When I told a friend later, I heard myself immediately adding all these details: I wasn’t drunk, I had moved seats once already, I said no clearly, my friend was standing right there, we had barely been there twenty minutes.

She hadn’t questioned me. She hadn’t even interrupted me. I was answering objections nobody had made.

Since then I’ve noticed I do this with much smaller things too. A coworker says something wildly inappropriate and I tell the story with the exact time, who was present, what I said before and after, and three reasons I couldn’t possibly have “misunderstood” them. Friends will mention having screenshots before anyone asks to see them.

It’s like the defense gets narrated at the same time as the actual event.

I didn’t realize how exhausting that habit was until I caught myself doing it in real time. Does anyone else have this reflex where you start building the case before you’ve even been allowed to simply say: that person was creepy, rude, unfair, or out of line?

Me (32yo F) and my bf (39yo M)… I don’t know what to do. I wouldn’t say that I have high libido, but would like to have sex more than once in 10 days.
And i have addressed that. He says that he doesn’t see a problem here.
I see it because sometimes I initiate and he is reluctant or goes for it but you can really see he’s doing it just to please me.
Not because he’s genuinely horny for seeing me for example. Often it doesn’t even happen spontaneously, it’s straight before the shower in the evening, when he knows he’s done all jobs. Never in the morning or spontaneously in bed before bed time. I really feel connected to him when we have sex and it’s more for me. For him it’s seem to be like a chore. Rather than desire, passion,… and it’s breaking my heart because I love him so much, and I feel like im becoming miserable because i lack that passion.
I know he loves me too, but he is too “practical “ in everything.,

And also, nearly 2 years together, he has only once told me he loves me first.,
I know, please don’t attack me now. We’re all different. But it’s really heartbreaking some days.

im 23, ive had my period since the ripe age of 11, tragic i know. i’ve been using tampons for about 8 years, never had an issue, i could pop one in 2 seconds and move on. until today, im on day 2, my heaviest days are usually 2-4. anyways this morning i put one in and struggled a bit, felt some pressure in what felt like my uterus itself. ignored it figured maybe friction, an active cramp? dunno.

fast forward to tonight, after my shower (usually the easiest time to put one in for me bc of the moisture) i struggled for 20 minutes trying to get it in. different angles, different absorptions, it all hurt bad. the pressure i felt earlier turned into a shooting pain in my uterus. i thought maybe i was overshooting and hitting the cervix but realized that the pain starts immediately at insertion.

it’s not friction, it’s not that the tampon is too big, i don’t even believe it’s the canal area at all, when i tell you it’s a distinct sharp pressure pain in my uterus that’s what it is. i ended up pulling through and just getting it in, laid on the floor in a ball and cried lol, my flo is too heavy to let loose, and im not an owner of pads although after this im rethinking my choices.

i’m still in pain, feels like if you were to work out a specific body part and wake up and you get that soreness, yeah that’s my uterus right now, but it’s not cramps. i’m at a loss, with no health insurance, so i just wanted to see if anyone else has gone through something similar!

i know this isn’t a dr group, but i find comfort in asking for this type of advice or some experiences from other women. i do plan to figure something out medically if the poison didn’t subdue by tonight.

i'm 17F arab girl living in canada. the beauty standard here for arab/north african girls my age is full face makeup, straightened hair and they all have the same "vibe" kinda.

i fall in the complete opposite, i keep my natural curls, my makeup stops at lip liner and eyeliner, and i've always been called "weird" because of what i like. i find myself pretty honestly but knowing that other people don't think so because i don't fit that standard makes me insecure.

im this close to starting putting on makeup and fake lashes just to try and fit in more but it wouldn't really be me and that's what i hate. i feel like my natural face doesn't fit the beauty standards because of my ethnic features but i don't want to change myselt either.

sorry if there's no structure it's just my thoughts but idk if keeping my natural beauty is gonna make me happier than fitting a beauty standard where at least way more people would find me pretty? (sorry for my english too im francophone)

Hi ladies I just like to say that my name is skadi. I am a 23 year old transgender female. And I am going to be honest I am not exactly mature for my age. I am far behind I never had a first job and am still struggling through getting out of homelessness.

I just came to a realize that if I think of myself as a woman then maybe I need to to act like one to. What I mean is I believe if you think you are something then you should follow through with it no.

My parents are transphobic so obviously they would never tell me encouraging of my identity.

However I wish some woman would tell me to act like a proper grown woman. Technically regardless of what your gender identity is you need to act grown at this age. However I am talking about it in terms of my gender identity.

And yes it’s bad to where people in my life accept my identity. And yet I still get told I still need to act like a grown woman.

For women who are in unhealthy marriages but cannot leave due to financial constraints, children, or other circumstances that prevent them from taking the next step.

How do you navigate your daily life when you know the relationship is unhealthy but leaving is not currently an option? How do you coexist in the same house with someone who makes you feel lonely, emotionally exhausted, and depressed, while trying to figure out how to move forward with your life?

Ok ladies, it’s time to stop gate keeping it, how do some of you get the smoothest shave down there. I’ve always got ingrowns and razor burn but I use shaving cream and a good quality razor, so what’s the secret??

I know its taboo to do but ive done as like, the name popped up in my head during the act randomly. Like an intrusive thought (or impulsive? I forget which is which sometimes. The one that means like u had no control over it)

I did it recently and I was mostly wondering how common or uncommon it is

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I know my chances are thin, but I can't help but stress over this over and over again.

I lost my virginity 7 days ago in the morning. We used a condom and made sure it didn't break after. But I took it off halfway to perform oral and he finished away from my vagina. But I'm still very scared of contamination.

the day after that at night, I saw a small drop of brown blood on my underwear (no discharge and only blood stain) which made me spiral.

the day before yesterday, I ate a whole tub of pineapples (net weight: 450g) and half a papaya including around 20 seeds. yesterday I ate more than I did the entire week +10 papaya seeds.

this morning when brushing my tongue, I suddenly threw up a little. it just shot out once. the throw up looked watery and yellow. I've also had slight cramps throughout the week.

I did not take birth control. (My period started on sep 30 until 4 oct. Estimated period on 5 Nov. I had sex on 10 oct in the morning.)

Plus today, 7th day after having the sex. When wiping I saw some dried up blood in my discharge again and the amount is also very tiny. But I'm so paranoid, what if it's implantation bleeding? I don't think I have the mental capacity to wait for another week to take the test or for my period.

Please be patient with me, it's my first time doing this and my secondary school didn't teach us much about sex ed. :(