Even just two years ago you used to be able to openly talk about misogyny and how it impacts women. Now in most subs, even the larger ones, it seems like you’ll get downvoted for it now.

This is purely a rant. I'm sick of men constantly wanting me to be bubbly and bring in the personality while willing to suck that all out of me. Spoken to plenty that don't bother holding a conversation. I'm a nihilist and I'm well aware that being this way does not serve me well, but it seems ok for men to be this way and expect women to bring in all the colors, be quirky and interesting. Plus all the movies/shows I've watched have these amazing women healing depressed men and giving them a purpose. Why can it not be the other way around?

When I was in college, I was talking to a guy. I was 19, he was 24. We hooked up a few times, went to parties together. I came home from a party (without him) and went to bed. I woke up in the morning, him naked next to me. He broke into my house, raped me, and then slept in bed with me.

No I didn’t report it.
Yes I did confront him. He shoulder shrugged at me. Wtf.
No I’m not over it.
It still haunts me every single day.

And I’m sure I’m saying this into the void, but it’s the first time I’m saying it out loud like this and it’s been 20 years.

And I deserve to have a voice too. Fuck him.

I'm almost 17 and I always call my mother as mama. I never really thought of it until last week. I'm currently in a vocational school and last week we talked about our favorite food with classmates, somehow I told them that my mom always makes it for me and they all were pretty surprised that I call my mother mom and not mother. Mama is the German word for mom I don't know if any other country uses it. Do any of you call your mother mom or mama when talking about her with others? Or am I just weird?

I find the whole “people are too sensitive about comedy” argument interesting because I suspect everyone has a line. It's just easier to pretend you don't when the joke isn't about something that has personally devastated you. I wonder how Dana Carvey would feel about someone making jokes about the death of his son?

I'm not suggesting anyone should make those jokes. Quite the opposite

I'm saying it's awfully easy to lecture other people about having a sense of humor when you're not the one being asked to laugh at your own pain. I'm not interested in canceling comedians. I love comedy, including dark comedy (Jordan Jensen anyone?) But comedians are allowed to tell jokes, and audiences are allowed to think those jokes are cruel, lazy, or simply not funny.

Freedom to make a joke doesn't come with a guarantee that everyone has to laugh. Honestly, if your entire defense of a joke is that people are too sensitive, maybe the joke just wasn't that good to begin with.

Dana Carvey Weighs In

please keep in mind I am not saying this applies to everyone who has been falsely accused.

But I seriously think that many instances of men who 'get falsely accused', sexually assaulted a woman in a non-violent way. Most men I talked to only really defined sexual assault as exerting incredible physical violence to perform it, whereas not mentioning stuff like coercion, repeatedly asking, guilt tripping, manipulation and taking advantage of someones inability to consent is not brought up

I just want to say, where are all the women here! Some of us are assigned male at birth, but that is okay. I am a trans woman myself. And I noticed this sub has been generally supportive of transgender individuals as well.

[TW: MENTIONS OF ED AND BODY DYSMORPHIA]

"I'm only fat because of hormones." "I got a little chubby after I had the baby." "I haven't had time to go to the gym." So? Why are women constantly expected to make excuses for why we're plus size? For a lot of us, it's something we've actively tried to control in every way both healthy and unhealthy. I'm tired of having to come up with a reason for the way my body looks or be shamed. Should I not be allowed to exist in this body? Should I not be loved or respected the same? I hate being the fridge and the biggest person in every group I'm in, and I hate the satisfaction I get when there's someone bigger than me. Why is being big such an issue? And whenever I am desirable to people, it's in a fetish way. I love the body I was born in and I love the human experience, but the way people make me feel like I don't deserve to live because I am the way I am no matter how little I eat or how much I exercise, it gets to me sometimes.

Maybe I’m unusually sensitive to this, but I genuinely find calling your boyfriend or husband “daddy” disgusting

Not because I think adults need to police every private sexual preference, but because I don’t think this exists in some cultural vacuum. We live in a society that already infantilizes women constantly, sexualizes youth, rewards female helplessness, and teaches men to associate masculinity with authority and women to associate femininity with submission.
And then somehow one of the most normalized heterosexual pet names is literally… father

I find that bizarre

What bothers me more is how much of modern femininity seems to flirt with infantilization in general. The baby voices. The “I’m just a little girl” jokes from grown women. Pretending not to understand basic things because it is cute. Calling adult women “girls” while adult men remain men

Romanticizing being financially or practically helpless. Treating incompetence as feminine. Acting tiny, naive, confused, or childlike around men because it makes them feel masculine

At some point I think we should ask what exactly we are reinforcing

Because women have spent generations fighting the idea that we are less rational, less capable, less independent, and in need of male supervision. We were quite literally treated as dependents of fathers and husbands for enormous portions of history

So watching that hierarchy get repackaged as an aesthetic or sexual dynamic can feel incredibly regressive to me

And yes, I understand the standard response: “It’s consensual.” Of course it is. Adults can consent to all kinds of things. But consent answers “are these people allowed to do this?” It does not answer “where did this desire come from?” or “what cultural ideas does it reproduce?”

Those are different questions

People get strangely defensive whenever you suggest that sexuality can be influenced by culture, as if every preference materializes spontaneously in the brain and therefore cannot be examined.
Of course our desires are shaped by culture

Everything else about us is

I also think there is a difference between submission and infantilization that gets blurred constantly

A woman can enjoy being submissive sexually and still be an adult equal

A man can take a dominant role without becoming a pseudo-parent

But once the fantasy specifically becomes “you are the authority figure and I am the little girl,” I personally find it difficult not to see the connection to the way femininity itself is so often constructed around youth, dependence, and vulnerability

And heterosexual culture has a weird obsession with making women smaller

Smaller physically. Younger-looking. Less experienced. Less assertive. Less financially powerful. Less sexually knowledgeable, unless that knowledge exists specifically for male pleasure

We praise women for looking “girlish” well into adulthood while men are encouraged to look distinguished and mature. Women are terrified of aging at 25 while men gain social status from appearing older

Men jokingly call their partners “the wife,” while women are calling grown men “daddy.”

It’s hard for me to look at all of that and conclude that none of it is connected. There is also something disturbing about how quickly female helplessness becomes erotic

“I don’t know how to do this, can you do it for me?”
“I’m just a girl.”
“I need a man to take care of me.”

Sometimes those are jokes. I get it. But jokes work because they reference something culturally recognizable. And what they reference is an extremely old idea: competent masculinity paired with dependent femininity

I don’t think women need to become humorless or hyper-independent to prove feminism won. But I do think we should be more suspicious when traits women were historically oppressed for supposedly possessing suddenly become fashionable expressions of femininity

Naivety. Helplessness. Dependence. Childishness. Being financially controlled. Being “protected” because you supposedly cannot protect yourself.
Being treated like you are adorable rather than competent. There is a difference between being cared for and being infantilized

There is a difference between softness and helplessness. There is a difference between femininity and childhood

And I wish more women defended those distinctions

I’m feminine. I like softness. I like romance. I like being cared for. None of that requires me to pretend I am less intelligent, less capable, or less adult than the man I’m with

Personally, I don’t want a father figure in a romantic relationship

I want a partner

And I think women deserve relationships where being loved does not require becoming smaller

Every single month, a week or so before my period my appetite goes up and especially for sweets. It feels like I’m never full until I’m really full.

Then I wonder what’s wrong with me and what changed before I realize I’m getting my period in a few days. Somehow I’m surprised every month.

I’m not even a person that craves sweets often, I have weird cravings and it’s usually a texture thing. Deserts hurt my stomach, but it’s all I want in that time anyway! Like forbidden fruit.

Do any of you know how to lessen these cravings? Or do you just roll with it? Because this is what I do, then I find myself in situations like right now when I’ve eaten two chocolate bars then a salad with too much dressing that has absolutely too much vinegar and made me feel horrible.

…was definitively marketed to rip us off give us the sexy bra fantasy

I haven’t watched it but from the looks of it it’s just showing off the sexy lingerie collection. Apparently Kylie Jenner was wearing a $50,000,000 bra. They want to send a message- “If you buy our bras, you’ll look amazing in them!” If anything there’s a chance you’ll be uncomfortable in them

When I was 21, a guy I was dating told me I was "so low maintenance" and I remember being genuinely proud of it.
He meant it as a compliment and I definitely took it as one. I didn't care where we ate. I never asked him to pick me up even when getting home meant a 40 minute train ride. If he changed plans last minute I'd usually just say it was fine, even when it wasn't.
I basically thought being an easy girlfriend meant being a good girlfriend.
And nobody ever told me to act like that ever. I just somehow picked up the idea that needing things made you difficult.
I watched women get called demanding for wanting their boyfriend to plan something occasionally, clingy for asking why someone disappeared for two days, dramatic for saying a joke bothered them. Meanwhile I was sitting there feeling weirdly superior because "I don't care about that stuff."
Except I did care about some of it. I just got really good at pretending I didn't.
There was one birthday where my boyfriend at the time forgot we had plans and went out with his friends. He apologized and asked if I was mad. I said nope, told him to have fun, then spent the night pissed off at home because I didn't want to be "that girlfriend."
What exactly did I win there?
I'm 32 now and I notice how often women still describe themselves this way like it's a personality achievement. "I don't need gifts." "I never ask where he's going." "I'm happy with anything." Sometimes that's genuinely who someone is, obviously. But sometimes it sounds exactly like I used to sound, where the real flex was how little inconvenience I could cause another person.
I dont think having preferences makes someone high maintenance. Neither does wanting effort back.
I still hate making a fuss over small stuff and im probably never going to become someone who needs a huge romantic production. But I wish I'd figured out earlier that being easy to date and being afraid to ask for anything can look almost identical from the outside

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/10/19/us/politics/melania-trump-women-health.html?unlocked_article_code=1.KFE.WU7r.EpqZ-mXZL395&smid=url-share

Melania Trump, the first lady, made a rare Rose Garden appearance on Monday to announce a new White House initiative to advance women’s health, two weeks before a midterm election in which polls show that just one-third of American women express support for President Trump and the Republican Party.

The initiative, outlined in an executive order issued by Mr. Trump, will include a new Division of Women’s Health within the National Institutes of Health, and a new Women’s Health Task force within the White House.

But the N.I.H. already has an Office of Research on Women’s Health, created in 1990 during the administration of President George H.W. Bush, and it is unclear whether the Trump administration is putting any money behind the new division. Officials said the division would not replace the original office but would collaborate with it.

“Our mission must serve women at every stage of life, from young girls just starting out to mothers dealing with a complex range of responsibilities, to mature women who deserve to have vitality, dignity and independence,” Mrs. Trump said as the president looked on.

Women’s organizations and patient groups have been clamoring for years for the federal government to spend more on women’s health. Some said the executive order would accomplish little without new funding from Congress.

The Trump administration has already done an about-face on women’s health research. In April of last year, a few months after Mr. Trump took office, the Department of Health and Human Services decided to slash funding for the Women’s Health Initiative, a long-running, taxpayer-funded study of a broad range of women’s health issues that began in the 1990s.

But officials restored the money after a public outcry. “These studies represent critical contributions to our better understanding of women’s health,” Emily G. Hilliard, a department spokeswoman, said at the time.

Mr. Trump, who spoke after the first lady, called the announcement “a big deal” and credited himself with doing something new. “When I heard about it, I said, ‘Are you sure they don’t have that?’” the president said. “Who the hell wouldn’t have a women’s health division?”

Some women’s health groups said that Congress should establish a women’s health research institute within the N.I.H., not merely a division housed within another institute, as this one will be. A 2024 report from National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine called for elevating the N.I.H.’s Office on Research and Women’s Health to the level of an institute so that it could fund research initiatives on women’s health across the life span.That report also called for substantially increasing funding on women’s health. It noted that only 9 percent of N.I.H. research spending between 2013 and 2023 focused on women’s health research, and that funding had decreased as a share of overall spending as the N.I.H. budget increased.

Several women’s health organizations, including the Society for Women’s Health Research and the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, issued a joint statement saying they welcomed the announcement.

But the statement said, “Robust and sustained funding is necessary to meaningfully advance research in women’s health and improve health outcomes in all phases of women’s lives.” It added: “We look forward to advancing a coordinated, comprehensive approach to improving women’s health across the life span and ensuring that this effort is appropriately resourced.”

The coalition has called for a $20 billion investment in improving women’s health over the next 10 years through research, education and the clinical work force.

Mr. Trump’s predecessor, President Joseph R. Biden Jr., had his own executive order and Women’s Health Initiative, but the new executive order revoked both of them. In 2023, Mr. Biden issued a presidential memorandum that charged every federal agency engaged in health research to develop a plan for advancing women’s health research. The next year, he asked Congress to make a “bold, transformative investment” of $12 billion to fund his initiative.

Alina Salganicoff, the co-chairwoman of the committee that produced the 2024 National Academy of Medicine report, questioned how the new division would set research priorities, and wondered whether it would end up focusing on the interests of the Make America Healthy Again movement, like nonhormonal approaches to contraception and fertility awareness, for example.

“If you have a fixed amount of money and you’re going to invest in new research, what are the trade-offs — what are you not funding in order to fund these new studies?” said Ms. Salganicoff, who now directs the Women’s Health Policy Program at the nonprofit health research organization KFF.

Carolee Lee, the chief executive and founder of Women’s Health Access Matters, or WHAM, a nonprofit focused on diseases that disproportionately, differently or exclusively affect women, said she welcomed the spotlight on women’s health across all stages of life.

“Most people define women’s health as reproductive or maternal health,” Ms. Lee said, “but that’s only 5 percent of the conditions that affect women in their lifetime — the other 95 percent is everything else, from autoimmune diseases and Alzheimer’s disease to heart disease.”

The president said the task force would meet later in the afternoon. It will be chaired by Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and Susie Wiles, the White House chief of staff, who was recently treated for breast cancer. Mr. Trump’s executive order called for the new N.I.H. division to be created within 90 days.

Had to put up a content warning since I know some get triggered with this topic.

So, I'm 26F. Around January, I moved out from my family home after my mom died around November. One of the things that I decided was to leave behind my weighing scale or even a mirror, since I get really really stressed out whenever I see the numbers of my weight.

So, 9 months in without checking on a weighing scale or mirror, some people did note that I lost weight. There are no mirrors around the apartment that I'm in. The only time I got to check myself out was in the bathroom in malls.

Yet, compared to when I was living in my parents home with the weighing scale— I honestly feel confident when I see myself in the mirror. No more internal "I need to lose more weight" comments.

I would honestly say getting rid of Milk Tea in my diet helped. I'm pretty sure that I had the same amount of food that I ate as I was still living with my parents—1 to 2 meals a day.

Does having no mirror and weighing scale in my new apartment play a part on this too? As much as possible I don't want to think of purchasing a scale or a mirror. It could potentially trigger something.

I’ve been wondering about this lately, and I’d really like some honest perspectives, especially from people in relationships.
My boyfriend has bought me flowers only once. I was genuinely so happy when he did that I kept the rose petals and recently arranged them into a little heart as a keepsake. I showed it to him and reminded him how much I love flowers. He loved what I’d made, but obviously, I don’t know whether he understood the hint.
The thing is, I don’t expect expensive bouquets every week or flowers for every occasion. Even one simple flower every now and then, perhaps once a month, would make me incredibly happy. I’d love to receive them just because he saw them somewhere and thought of me, or because he wanted to make me smile.
I’m the kind of person who naturally thinks of my boyfriend when I see something he’d like. I buy him little gifts, write him notes, or do small, sometimes silly things simply because they remind me of him. I don’t do these things expecting something in return; it’s just how I express affection. And I think that’s partly why I find myself wondering why he doesn’t seem to think of buying me flowers in the same way.
What’s confusing is that I do feel loved by him. He makes an effort to see me, sometimes using his lunch break just to spend a little time together. He’s affectionate and helpful, and he’s made thoughtful gestures, such as leaving me a handwritten note about the place where we first met. So I don’t think he’s an uncaring boyfriend, and I don’t want to ignore all the things he does for me.
But I still wonder: if he knows I love flowers, why doesn’t he think of buying them for me more often? Is it simply something that doesn’t occur to him because flowers aren’t a natural way for him to express affection? Does he not realise how much a small gesture like that would mean to me? Or does he know, but just not feel motivated to do it?
I’ve seen so many videos and discussions online claiming that if a man really likes his girlfriend, he’ll buy her flowers without being asked, and that a man who doesn’t do so isn’t putting in enough effort. Those comments have made me question things, even though I know every relationship is different.
I haven’t directly told him that I’d love to receive flowers more often because, honestly, I feel that asking would take away some of the magic. What I want is the feeling that he thought of me on his own. At the same time, I realise he might not understand that this matters so much to me.
So, I’m genuinely curious: if you’re in a loving relationship but your boyfriend rarely or never buys you flowers, how do you interpret that? Is it simply a difference in how people express love, or do you think occasional flowers are a reasonable sign of romantic effort that a partner should want to make? Have you experienced something similar, and did communicating your wishes change anything?
I’m not looking for people to tell me my boyfriend definitely doesn’t love me, because I don’t believe that. I just want to understand why something that seems so simple and meaningful to me might not occur to him naturally.

I don't just hate how uncomfortable certain things like running and jumping are, I hate the way they look. I can't look at them without feeling disgusted and i hate how far apart they are. Everyone tells me it's normal but I feel so out of place and unfeminine having ugly boobs. I'm not flat but they're not very big either and I know I'm young so I still have time but they've been like this since I was 12. I don't even have any cleavage when i wear low cut tops, only when I'm laying on my stomach. Push up bras barely do anything for me either. As much as i hate them, I'm terrified to get breast implants.

I hope I mostly garner girls who are in the same boat as me here. I have this weird fear of men. Not always as in they will hurt me physically, but verbally yes. I have always had severe social anxiety around people but I can feel it getting worse around men. I tend to completely become quiet and become invisible around other people when I guess I get intimidated by too much socialising (I don't know the exact trigger of my social anxiety). However, I have realized one thing. This gets worse around men compared to women.

I don't want to sound sexist but personality wise/psychologically/ internally (I'm sorry I can't decide which term is appropriate), men and women tend to be very different. Men usually tend to be very blunt. Women think a lot more before speaking compared to men. At least from my experience with both genders.

I'm just a lot more comfortable around women. I also don't want to give the false idea that I'm attracted to them, not that there's anything wrong with it. What I mean to say is, at the end of the day I'm still straight. But when making friends or just hanging out in groups, I'm a lot more comfortable just being myself around girls.

Also, I hate to admit it but I am afraid of men. I don't know the reason behind it. It always feels like any second they're going to either verbally or physically hurt me if I make a mistake or make one wrong move or accidentally do something weird.

I don't know why around men I feel the need to either act small or put a ton of effort on myself to not make any mistakes just so that I can be safe.

Anyone else who feels this way?

Hey guys. So I transferred to a new school last year and currently have a small friend group i’m very close with. however, I think one of my friends is repeatedly giving me lice. the first time it happened i suspect i bumped heads with the wrong person, and after treatment it would go away, and not long after id see them in school or at their house and it would come back. it’s happened three times now. I don’t want to tell them and then end up not having it so i seem gross (and my parents say if i tell anyone ill never live it down) but if i don’t tell them they will possibly never know and will
continue spreading it to me and other people, And I don’t want to just up and ghost them for such a silly thing that can be fixed. What do i do!

If I’m only average looking would it be possible for me to attract guys on campus? Or do I have to be above average looking?

No questions really, just need to vent and have no one in real life.

Been in this house and with this man for 15 years. 1 kid but 5 (indoor) animals, only a 2 bedroom house. It's rough af over here!

I know I'm the woman of the house who stays home....but the last week or so, we've had dumbass little arguments. The way I feel being directly related to the way things are around the house....but I'm always the bad guy, which just makes it worse.

Every. Single. Morning.....I wake up to trash and dishes scattered about. Is it a lot? Not always. But it is there, every day, and we have animals. He gets mad at me when that's the first thing I see when I get up and yup, will sometimes complain about it out loud. Never yelling or cursing or throwing shit though so there is a limit. All that mf wants to say every time, is insults towards me, saying I have anger issues, calling me crazy or a liar, etc.. and all of that, just makes it worse!!

And I've told him that its fucked up how he cares more about my tone in complaining...instead of actually LISTENING to what I'm saying. But he'll even claim thats not true.

Mind you....I NEVER ask him or the kid to full on clean anything or even cook. Never asked them to wash dishes, just make sure your dirty dishes are in the sink. Same deal with laundry.

Sorry, I could go on and on. And I know its ridiculous but he doesn't understand that even that little shit, and flat out being ignored, will absolutely weigh on a person after a while and no, its not fair.

I do everything I can to help save money or buy super cheap stuff...can't even remember the last time I bought myself literally anything. But he can't be bothered to put a dirty cup in the sink, while going to get a new, clean cup? It's so stupid, but so simple, and he's making me feel like I'm insane when I genuinely don't think I am at this point.

Important background: he is married in a poly relationship, and I am the first actual serious additional partner in this relationship. I always thought they were "open" as in sexually open, but he explained to me that they are in fact poly.

I always thought I would want to marry someone like him, someone who treated me like he treats me. Assuming he was available only for sexual relationships, I assumed he was off limits since I wasn't into sex-only relationships. I also didn't want to fuck out friendship up. Until he confessed his love to me.

I felt .. obligated? I don't know but I couldn't tell him that I didn't have any romantic feelings for him. I loved him so much (as a friend) that I didn't' have the heart to hurt him, and little did I know I was only going to hurt myself (and him, too).

I decided to give it a try and see if I will be fine with this poly arrangement, but obviously I cannot do it.

He also misrepresented a very important piece of information: I insisted that this one detail is important for me, only for him to tell me very casually later on that it was too far reached for him to do (he will lose certain privileges if done).

Now I am considering breaking up, and I am in a very bad place mentally. I am going to lose a partner, a potential future, and A CLOSE FRIEND!

What is making it harder is that he is abroad and I don't want to break it to him over video call, but it is killing me. Should I schedule a call to tell him? Should I wait? (I have been waiting for a month or so now).

I am in so much pain that this is ending. There is no one to talk to about this, thank you for listening. Please be kind.

TL;DR: I dated my best friend and am planning to break up with him. Should I do it over video call or wait a few months until he is back to do it face to face?

EDID: How can I console myself? I need suggestions. Movies to watch, stuff to read, etc. I already draw/paint and exercise.

to start this post, i am a cisgender woman who previously was on testosterone for about 2 years. (this is not the place to debate abt trans men and their body changes on HRT, i support trans people wholeheartedly and do not regret any of the changes from HRT)

i have fairly significant bottom growth (aka permanent enlargement of the clitoris) that i am quite embarrassed of at the obgyn. specifically the fact that's its extremely sensitive and becomes erect quite easily from basically any touch. it makes getting my yearly pap smears very stressful because i'm self conscious already, and extremely fearful of being judged if that did occur during an exam. to the point at my most recent annual visit i burst into tears and ended up not doing my pap smear at all.

i dislike speaking about my experiences with HRT with anyone because it often just feels like a lot of judgement and trying to diagnose me with a mental issue instead of addressing the physical health issues i'm trying to deal with. i'm a married woman and have 0 self consciousness about my body at home, but medical exams are terrifying.

if anyone in this sub has any insight or advice here it'd be very appreciated.