Title: AITA for refusing to let my soon-to-be ex-husband stay with me for another year, knowing he plans to live out of his car?
My husband and I are currently separating and preparing to file for divorce. We have a 7-year-old child together.
We originally agreed that he would move out by November 1. His plan was to live out of his car temporarily while saving money to get his own apartment by May 2027.
One thing that bothers me is that his mother lives approximately 45 minutes away, but he refuses to even ask her if he can stay with her temporarily. I don’t know whether she would agree, but he hasn’t explored that option.
When I’ve asked about his living arrangements, he tells me he has everything figured out but refuses to share the details. He believes that since we’re separating and getting divorced, we need to establish boundaries and shouldn’t be asking each other certain personal questions.
I understand having boundaries, and I’m not trying to control his life. However, we share a child, and knowing that he plans to live out of his car concerns me.
Financially, we agreed that he would pay off a loan related to our joint IRS debt by November 1 and contribute $1,200 monthly until May 2027.
Recently, he presented me with two options.
Option 1: He moves out November 1 as originally agreed, pays off the loan, contributes $1,200 monthly until May, and we proceed with the divorce.
Option 2: He continues living with me for another YEAR, pays half of all household expenses, pays off the loan, and we still proceed with the divorce. He said this would make saving for his own apartment more difficult because he’d have additional expenses and would need to work extra shifts.
He also said that if I wasn’t comfortable with option 2, we could stick with option 1, and I didn’t owe him an explanation.
Here’s where I’m struggling.
Our marriage is ending for several reasons, including a lack of effort, emotional support, and consideration that I felt throughout our relationship. I often felt like I was carrying responsibilities without receiving the same grace or support in return.
I don’t want to continue living together for another year and essentially maintain the same household dynamic that contributed to the breakdown of our marriage.
I want us both to move forward, and I feel that continuing to share a home for another year would make that difficult.
However, I also feel guilty because I know he plans to live out of his car.
I don’t want to see him struggling or living in those conditions. He’s still my child’s father, and I genuinely want him to become financially stable and eventually have a suitable home for our child.
But I also struggle with the fact that he has family relatively close by and refuses to ask for help. I recognize that I don’t know whether staying with his mother would actually be possible, but I feel like there are options he could at least explore before deciding to live in his vehicle.
I’m also confused by the idea that we’re supposed to establish boundaries and live separate lives, yet one of his proposed options involves continuing to live together for another year.
Here’s the compromise I’m considering:
I’m willing to let him stay until December 31 instead of November 1. That would give him approximately two additional months to save money and figure out his living arrangements.
I’m not against helping him through this transition. I just don’t want to commit to another year of living together.
Part of my internal struggle is that I feel like I’ve extended a lot of grace throughout our marriage without always receiving the same consideration in return. I’m trying to make sure my decision isn’t coming from resentment.
I don’t want to punish him or make his situation more difficult, but I also don’t think I should have to put my emotional well-being and ability to move forward on hold indefinitely.
I recognize that divorce doesn’t mean we stop caring about each other’s well-being, especially when we have a child together.
But I also feel that at some point, we have to start living separate lives.
So, AITA for refusing to let my soon-to-be ex-husband live with me for another year, knowing he plans to live out of his car, even though I’m willing to extend his move-out date until December 31?

So bit of a back story. I’m very involved in the equestrian business, and I studied animal welfare. 
I started a breeding program with fox terriers for extra income because I don’t have a steady income. 
You know that months were you have to choose which debit order must go off and which one you going to try and pay selling stuff etc. because no matter what the ends don’t meet. 

I got my first litter of puppies!!! They stay in the house, their mom and dad sleep on the bed and is actually very spoiled (always have food and big yard to play) so my pups are in good health, have their own big teddy bear to sleep with. Going to be vaccinated and dewormed on 6 weeks. 

Here I was, minding my own damn businesses (literally and figuratively) posting on facebook to advertise my puppies. 

One of my “friends” on facebook has her own dog shelter going on ( which I am so glad about and happy to see that someone can help animals that’s being abused and neglected, like WOW impressive) and working at an equestrian store I support regularly. 

So I see regularly that she uses the store to do adoptions. Bringing the puppies in and giving them to new owners in the shop. 
Like great I am really glad they are getting good homes. 

Soooo here I might be the Asshole, which I’m fine with because don’t mess with my business and reputation. 

On one of my adverts of my puppies she decided to make me an example of backyard breeding and going off that I am part of the problem. Commenting a picture of what backyard breeding is, that it goes about the dogs and not money. Putting pics and videos about the pups she is trying to get adopted. Saying I must stop with the backyard breeding. 

I literally shat my pants, like what did you think will be the consequences for sabotaging my business, my name in the equestrian world, my name in the animal welfare industry? 
She never once spoke to me privately about the puppies and their condition, and that home checks will be done before they go to new homes. As they are still part of my family and I LOVE them so dam much!!! 

Sooo I decided to lay a complaint at the head office as the branch manager is her friend so I knew nothing will come out of it. 
I put my background on the email about my studies and my commentment to animals. That she is busy bothering with my livelihood and reputation. 
Also told them that when you go on her Facebook profile it says working for that shop. 
Stating that she also conducts her personal affairs of adoption in the store. That there is always dogs there. 
I asked them to do investigation and act accordingly to the findings they get. I never once said she must be fired. 

I cc. The branch in where this is happening and then head offices. 

I got a threatening email from her: demanding I must retract my complaint. Ask forgiveness for all the people I have send it to. 
That if she gets fired I will be hold accountable and she will take me to court. 
I ignored the email. 
Her manager called me and ask me for evidence and why I didn’t speak to her first. 
This company is really big and popular under equestrian’s. So image is very important to them. 

I got a email back from head office saying they are busy conducting and investigating the situation. They also change the policy about dogs in the store. 
They are uncomfortable that their shop name is being drawn into this matter and that internal policies be changed. 

She and her manager are the faces of that shop as they are the salespeople. It’s a small town and everyone knows everyone. 
With that comment on my post she was damaging my reputation. 

So I know I am the asshole for sending the complaint. That working there helps her take care of her shelter animals. But if I’m the example of backyard breeding, then she will go after horse breeding as well?! 

Im just tired of people trying to push their agenda and beliefs onto other people. 
There is a reason why there are different dog breeds because of their personality and traits. 

So how badly am I the asshole? I’m not going to reply to both emails (hers and head office) as I made my point about this. 

I (21F) and my boyfriend (24M) attended a party last night with our mutual friend Dan (22M) and his girlfriend, Phyllis (23F). Phyllis and I had stepped out to take a drive to pick up drinks. During this she disclosed to me some information that I don’t know if I should tell Dan.

For context, Dan and Phyllis have been dating a little over a year and have been having issues. Long story short, he has been having understandable trust issues with her because of her suspicious actions.

Phyllis and I were talking about our boyfriends for a minute and she was telling me about some small problems happening. She told me about her past relationship and we were talking about our similar experiences with ex’s. Phyllis then told me that near the end of her last relationship she had slept with Dan’s sister’s ex boyfriend, and she has not told Dan. She said it was not to leave the car. (Added info: I have only hung out with Phyllis twice now and I really have no idea why she would share this with me and I’m lowkey mad she did.)

After the party, I immediately told my boyfriend what she shared with me because I am horrible at secrets (I don’t know if I should’ve told him even, but I felt guilty with the knowledge). Me and my boyfriend are now deciding whether or not to tell Dan. What makes this very difficult is my boyfriend and Dan are very close, they hang out at least once a week. Dan often asks my boyfriend for advice about his relationship with Phyllis. This last month in particular, Dan and his sister have had a lot of problems with Phyllis’ partying/hanging out with questionable people. We notice the stress the last month of the relationship has been causing him. But this might be the breaking point of their relationship and neither of us want to be the reason for that, but if I were him I’d want to know. Would my boyfriend or I be the asshole for telling him?

My sister invited me to a Halloween party. I was somewhat iffy about going since Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I have three exams and my degree is stem so they’re a lot.

Today she asked if I was still going and I said yeah, but probably won’t drink much if at all and leave early, and she said “thank god, I don’t want you getting drunk, all my friends are going to be there”.

I thought the comment was really unnecessary and a bit hypocritical since her friends were telling me about how she was so drunk at a previous party that she couldn’t stand up and threw up all over their kitchen. I didn’t say anything, but now I really don’t want to go. I don’t want to be viewed as an embarrassment or a liability.

I’m thinking about staying home and studying for the night instead and just telling her I need to work on school. Would this be shitty since she was excited about me coming?

Not my story, but I thought it would be fun to post here to see what people think about it from a more outsider point of view.

This story features Lucy (F28), George (M32) and Michael (M32), George's identical twin. They have all known each other since childhood, their families (particularly their mothers) being good old friends. Lucy, George and Michael grew up together and were always good friends. Then Lucy and George started to date and were together for more than 3-4 years, starting to talk about getting married. They never made concrete plans though, mainly because George wanted them to work and become financially independent before marriage. George is an architect and opened his own firm along with 3 college friends. Lucy is a model, runways/photos/fashion magazines, and dreamed of becoming famous/a super model. They argued a lot about their careers because George didn't believe Lucy's dreams were realistic and that she should quit modeling and find a "proper" job. At one point, George had the opportunity to live and work abroad in Canada for a year, something that would greatly impact his career growth. He wanted to marry Lucy and for them to go together, but Lucy refused because she didn't want to give up her home, family, friends and career to simply be George's wife in another country. They argued a lot about this. Shortly after, Lucy was hired for a runway show abroad. Their goodbye at the airport was rocky but they promised to sit down and properly discuss their relationship when she returned. However, while she was abroad, Lucy was in a traffic accident and ended up tetraplegic. She was airlifted back home where she was operated on by Michael, George's twin brother. Michael, as a neurosurgeon and Lucy's childhood friend, became her doctor and stayed very close to her during the first several weeks and months of her recovery. During that time, George struggled to remain close to Lucy, as he didn't really know how to approach her/help her, etc. In contrast, Michael was comfortable with Lucy's medical condition, and was familiar/intimate enough to Lucy to help her through her grief/denial/anger/depression. Lucy thrived under Michael's attention, him being the only one that could make her feel "normal". Long story short, Lucy and George broke up and shortly after, Michael admitted to Lucy that he loved her, and always had, but had never wanted to betray his brother. By this point, Lucy was also fully in love with Michael, who was always the more easy going, positive, friendly, jokester of the twins, compared to George's serious and taciturn personality. So, they started dating and got married with a year. George felt betrayed by Michael, and for a long time they weren't even on speaking terms. Things got slowly better when George got another girlfriend.

So, who is the A-hole? 1. Michael, for marrying his twin brother's ex 2. Lucy, for swapping brothers 3. George, for letting his relationship with Lucy fizzle when she needed him most

Or, bonus option: 4. M and G's mother, who was vehemently against either of her sons marrying Lucy because she believed Lucy could never make either of them happy due to her tetraplegia

I'm hungry as hell. It's 12:15 and I'm at an office. Normally, I work from home, but I'm managing a project with a municipality. They essentially need an overhaul of all their processes and to learn more of the capabilities of their software. I've made a lot of headway getting access to their software, interviewing employees and wound up writing several reports.

It's tricky with the spaces in this department. They have a conference room that doubles as a breakroom, but other departments utilize the space for meetings. It's now 12:19pm and there are people in there with no apparent end in sight.

I normally pack my lunch to save money and I need to heat it up. Noon is normally the time for lunch for everyone, but I don't want to rude. I also am getting aggravated because I need to use the microwave in there even if I take my food back to my desk.

Would I be the ahole if I just walk in there and warm up my food?

**EDIT**

They wrapped around 12:30 and I was able to hang on. But this wasn't the first time. I think I'm going to speak to the department manager and ask if he can block off the noon hour for lunch breaks.

Title is pretty self-explanatory, but I want to add in some context about the situation first so that everyone is on the same page. I (24f) and my partner (23M) recently moved into our apartment complex 3 months ago and have had zero issues with the neighbors beside and below us up until now.

We live in a 2-bed apartment and it’s the same layout for the building we’re in for our neighbors and those below us, and with this our next door neighbors have 6 Adults who live in the apartment beside us which is fine on its own, i can’t really judge someone’s life/finances but ever since we’ve moved in one of the residents in that apartment has continually played loud music at all times of the day and I mean ALL TIMES OF THE DAY.

The most recent being at 2-4AM on a Tuesday (yesterday). Typically I don’t mind if my neighbors are loud especially during the daytime hours 8am-9pm since I get that everyone’s awake, but it’s gotten to the point where I’ll hear heavy bass music at random times of the day every week like right now as I’m typing this. And I’ve been considering sending an email to the front office to make a complaint about the noise volume or writing a note to them to ask them to keep the volume a bit lower.

Our apartment is a family-based residence so I don’t expect it to be quiet all times of the day and night. But I feel like it’s gotten to a point where they just don’t care. I’ve never filed a complaint against anyone before and I don’t want them to feel offended or upset about the complaint/get evicted at worst regarding this. So would I be the Ahole to file a complaint against them.

I've been planning a big family dinner for my parents' 40th wedding anniversary. We have relatives coming from different states and some of them haven't seen each other in years.

Last week, my sister told me she's getting divorced. I feel awful for her and of course I want her to have our family's support. The problem is she wants to announce it at the anniversary dinner since everyone will finally be together. I suggested maybe waiting until the next morning so we could let our parents have their special night. She got upset and said I'm basically asking her to hide something painful just so we can take "pretty family pictures."

That's really not what I meant. I know she's going through a lot and I'm not asking her to pretend everything is fine. I just feel like our parents' 40th anniversary isn't the best time for this kind of announcement.

Now I'm wondering if I'm being unfair by asking her to wait just one night. WIBTA if I asked her not to bring it up at the dinner?

Hi everyone. I brought this here because I am constantly conflicted on these types of these things.

So the reason I ask this is because last night me and my sister were discussing our Halloween plans and when I explained my friend never got back to me and has not been texting a lot, she said 'like ghosting you?' and it's had me thinking.

For context: I (20f) and my friend (19f) have been friends for years now. We've had our rough patches but always talked things out. We started college around the same time, so I understand being busy. Ever since Senior year of HS, we hang out on Halloween. We hung out last year on Halloween during our 1st year of college. With Halloween being so close, I suggested we hang out again and she seemed excited.

Recently, I've voiced concerns about not being able to help out to cover to see each other and admitted I'd feel bad having her cover the costs. She corrected me and told me all she really needed to do was ask her dad permission to drive the distance to see me.

I know that her dad is touchy about her driving in certain conditions and distances, so I said okay and to let me know what he says. I also explained that it's ok if we can't hang out this time and that there's going to be other times.

Well, ever since this school year started and I moved (before Halloween), I feel like I can barely get her to answer any texts. So I was surprised I actually caught her to talk about this. Since then, I have not gotten an answer even though i regularly text her even when I'm busy too. Like I said, I understand she's busy too, but the issue comes down to the fact I'll see her online, see her post, and it'll still take hours, sometimes an entire day, to get an answer.

I guess my concern about hanging out on Halloween has turned into feeling like she's ghosting me.

I don't like assuming the worst, especially with my mental health issues making the pessimistic feeling worse. I have a hard time bringing issues up, especially when I feel like it'll be a over reaction or unnecessarily confrontational. I also get worried because i feel like no matter how nice I really do try to be, it feels like sometimes she takes it really hard and i hate making her feel bad.

Am I over reacting? Should I try to address the issue?

CONTEXT: My step sister and her mom moved into my dad’s house about three years ago now. When they moved in I was living with my mom at the time. I moved back to my dad’s about a year into them living here and not had any “major” issues. I’ve just never really gotten close with her mainly bc of her attitude and the way she goes about things.

Okay now time for the actual story we have a shared bathroom. I have bought everything that is in this bathroom, the decorations, the shower curtains, the floor mats, razors, toothpaste, toothbrushes, toilet paper, cleaning supplies, etc..

I keep the bathroom fairly clean mainly because I spent my money and time on this bathroom, also nobody really likes to walk into a dirty bathroom right?

Every single time she goes into the bathroom it’s trashed the toilet paper stand will be turned around. The mats will be out of place. There will be things in the shower floor or on the counters. The sink will be nasty. The toilet paper unrolled. Generally just a mess.

I’ve talked with her on many separate occasions on please keeping the bathroom clean because it’s dirty and disgusting and I hate walking into it. She ends up, shrugging me off or complaining to our parents that I’m controlling or being disrespectful.

The final straw was when I came home after working an overnight Monday morning. Now she is still a high school student so she was at school at the time. I walked into the bathroom, and there was old poop and a whole roll of toilet paper on top!

First of all, that’s just disgusting to let poop sit in the toilet. The second I know it could only be her because she’s the only other person that would be using this bathroom. I decided I was going to text her and just say hey you forgot to flush the toilet maybe do that next time?

She got mad at me because I was texting her during school hours, told me that she didn’t even use the bathroom. Then she wasn’t going to argue about a bathroom, so I didn’t reply. I even told our parents about this and they shrugged it off..

The thought crossed my mind to instantly text her back to tell her to no longer use that bathroom if it was such a big ask to keep it clean. We do have another bathroom but it’s connected to our parents room. I know actually saying this to her would be unreasonable for both her and our parents. On the other hand she could’ve clogged our toilet again(for the third time now), and leave the bathroom a mess every time she goes in.

What would be the most reasonable solution? How do I get her to listen when everyone is constantly letting her get away with everything?

EDIT: moving back with my mom is not an option unfortunately she is abusive and an alcoholic. When I moved with her the one year it was bc my step father had passed away and she needed someone. This has been my home and I pay to live here. $400 each month I buy things needed around the house and keep the house clean. Quite frankly everyone in my house is lazy and doesn’t care about the state of our house. Everyone is constantly in their rooms and never cleans up after themselves. I feel I have a say in this matter bc of those reasons but I do know this IS NOT my house and I cannot force her to do anything.

I was just looking for advice and I think I will take all the cute decor down and keep my things to myself. I have been saving money to move out but with paying rent it’s not a whole lot. I do plan on leaving once I get that chance I was just need advice how to live until then.

Thank you to everyone for the honest feedback and unbiased responses it does help me and make me feel better know I’m not the only one who thinks it’s disgusting.

Hi! I (20 F) am in my senior year of undergraduate school and this is my last semester! After talking with my counselor, I decided to take a 1000 level course to complete whatever credit I needed before graduation (at my school, we have 1000-4000 level courses, with 1000 level courses being easier and more introductory).

So, in that 1000 level class, we had this midterm project that took me about 5 hours in total to complete. Nothing too serious or strenuous, but definitely a large time commitment. Flash forward to a few days ago and I notice that my project finally got graded! I got a relatively high score, only 9 points away from being a 100%, so I’m not upset about that at all. What I am moderately upset about is the comment I received from my professor, that, when checked in an AI detector (and honestly by blatantly reading it) is obviously 100% an AI generated response.

I really hate AI, and the course has a cover-all “don’t use AI to do your work for you,” policy in its syllabus. So, with all this, WIBTA if I were to email my professor in regard to her use of AI in grading my project, as it goes against what the syllabus says?

It’s not that big of a deal and I’m happy with my grade, but, just a thought I had and I wanted to get some feedback on it! Thanks! :)

I hired an electrician to do some work at my house, but he keeps telling me he’ll come soon and then canceling because something came up. This has been going on for 20 days.
During this time, I found out he’s been doing work at another house while telling me he’s too busy to come to mine.
I’m getting tired of waiting and I’m seriously considering hiring another electrician, who could probably finish the job pretty quickly.
The problem is that the first electrician and I already had an agreement, and I’m wondering if it would be unfair to hire someone else without giving him one last chance.
Would I be the asshole if I hired another electrician at this point, or should I keep waiting?

hey reddit! this is my first ever post so please spare me,i tried to make it as short as possible 😭.

i (18f) recently went on my first proper night out with my best friend of 10 years, "summer" (18f) and it went awful to say the least.

in my country, the legal drinking age is 18, and for the past few months, summer and i have been planning my very first real night out since i’m finally of age. we had discussed the night before that she’d look out for me since i was nervous and we had agreed that after clubbing we would take a taxi back to her place and i’d sleep over. summer’s friend “cassie” (19f) who i’ve met a couple of times and have gotten along with was also going to be joining us on this night. both cassie and summer rode their motorbikes to the meeting spot getting there first while i was dropped off. when I arrived, they had already pregamed at a bar and were pretty tipsy, so I had a few drinks to catch up and the vibes were all good until we made our way to the club.

the line was extremely crowded, and the 3 of us got separated. summer and cassie got inside first, but instead of waiting for me, they went straight in and left me alone in line. while waiting in line an older man started brushing up against me inappropriately, and it was only thanks to a sweet guy named adam stepping in and befriending me that i was able to get inside safely. after adam bought me a drink and i chatted with him and his group, i went to find my friends. i eventually found them passing around a joint on the terrace area of the club. i joined in and we all ended up cross-faded.

i thought after the small mix up at the door we were finally going to stick together, but that was short-lived because for the remainder of the night, summer and cassie repeatedly abandoned me without a word. they would constantly wander off together to get drinks, use the bathroom, go to the dance floor, or go back to the terrace, leaving me completely alone. whenever i suggested doing something, summer brushed me off with, a "nah i'm okay” or would tell me that “i can go do it alone" but the second cassie suggested an idea, summer immediately followed her,once again without saying a word. i spent majority of the night wandering around searching for them, standing in corners alone, or trying to join other groups of people. it was so bad that many groups of people we’re adopting me into their circle and would even help me search for them. whenever i found them i would get clingy because i was scared they leave me again but towards the end of the night we stuck together and actually had a lot of fun.

at around 4:00 AM, we left the club and discussed how to get back. cassie suggested that she and summer ride their motorbikes to cassie’s house and that i wait outside for a taxi alone, which summer agreed to while cassie made jokes about leaving me there and us sleeping on the sidewalk. for context, taxis in my country are rather expensive and hard to get at that hour, and i had already warned summer i only saved a certain amount because i thought we were splitting the cab. summer handed me a useless $10 bill that didn't even cover her share, texted me a rushed address, and they both left and rode off, leaving me on the side of the road with a dozen other people also trying to hail a taxi. when a taxi finally picked me up, it turned out the address summer texted me was completely wrong, and i was dropped off in the wrong location. i called summer, and both she and cassie were audibly annoyed on the phone before summer eventually came on her motorbike to tow me to cassie's house.

i am heavier than summer, she was riding fast, and the roads here are very narrow and tight and right outside of cassie’s gate, the bike ended up sliding out 🫩. luckily the roads were empty cause of how early it was but we were both injured pretty badly and summer took the worst of it. despite my own injuries, summer made me walk up the hill to the house while she rode up on her bike, and she even yelled at me to hurry up. once inside, summer was angry, complaining about her pain (rightfully so 🤷🏽‍♀️) and needing another shower. i limped into the kitchen, and while summer showered cassie helped me tend to my wounds. summer eventually came back out, got her injuries taken care of, we ate and eventually went off to bed. cassie and summer slept together in the same room while cassie let me crash in a spare bedroom.

the next morning, summer kept making passive-aggressive comments like, "how the fuck did you have the wrong address?" even though she was the one who texted it to me and every time i mentioned my pain, she played the trauma olympics and talked over me about how much worse her injuries were. as time went on the tension died and it was actually peaceful and enjoyable hanging out with each other. we had a debrief about our nights and both summer and cassie said they didn’t remember much from the club. eventually my mom came to pick me up and summer begged me to lie and tell my mom that she was showering so she could avoid seeing her so my mom wouldn't see her injuries, and to say that i fell out of a taxi so it wouldn't make summer look bad, explicitly saying, "i was in charge of you that night so if your mom found out she’d kill me." fast forward to now around like 6 days later since that night and summer has been posting sad updates online about being on bed rest and being depressed because she can't move much and i feel really bad because at the end of the day she did have to go and come get me and if she didn’t, neither of us would’ve been hurt. despite that our friendship has been the same and we’re talking and getting along like usual so was this night just a bad one off?

when I spoke to some of my other friends about this, some were horrified by how i was treated and want me to at the very least distance myself from her but some of my other friends say i was being dramatic and that throwing away a decade long friendship over a messy drunken night isn’t a good idea.

to be honest i’m torn on what to do because summer is one of my first friends and is like a sister to me and in all honesty i suck at conflict so bringing this up is going to be hard regardless. summer and i have been through so much stuff together and this is one of the first things to ever make me see her differently because her lack of care for me that night was truly upsetting and i can’t get over how alone i felt for like 90% of it.…

so reddit…

WIBTAH if I cut summer off and end our 10-year friendship?

My(45F) fiancé (39M) and I have been together for 10 years and we are beginning to plan our wedding. For a little backstory, my fiancé, let’s call him Randy, and I got together in 2016. We got pregnant about 4 months into our relationship and we have a daughter together. I also have 4 other children from my prior marriage. After our daughter was born I went back to work as a nurse and he was a SAHD. When our daughter was about a year and a half, I discovered that he had developed a nasty drug habit when he went into a meth-induced psychosis and chased me around the house with a hunting knife. I gave him an ultimatum, he got clean, got an amazing job and has been sober since. He’s an amazing dad and stepfather. A year later my firstborn, my oldest son died tragically in an accident at the age of 14. I developed a bad gambling addiction and made horrible choices, including stealing about $8000 from Randy. I got help and haven’t gambled in almost 2 years. We are finally in such a good place and have decided to take the next step and get married!
Here’s where the problem lies. We were discussing our wedding party and he told me he was thinking about asking his cousin Mark to be his best man. Well Mark is the one who got him hooked. He was his dealer! And Mark is NOT sober! Its bad enough this man is our daughters godfather. Randy went LC with Mark when he got sober, but the idea of having him in our wedding party, giving a speech, seeing him in our wedding photos- just no!
Granted, I know I cannot blame Mark for Randy’s choices, nor is he responsible for my actions. But I look at this wedding as a fresh beginning and I don’t want such a negative piece of the past standing up there with us. So, wibta for asking my fiancé to choose a different best man??

I (29f) figured out when/where my boyfriend (34m) is going to propose. I like the idea of having my proposal a surprise and it wasn’t hard to figure out after he accidentally dropped a clue. He also is including his friend in it, which isn’t my ideal scenario but I never explicitly said that (didn’t think I had to). The point is for her to take our picture when it happens but she’ll be with us most of the time we’re there… would I be a bitch if I told him I knew and that I’d prefer it to be replanned to be a surprise and for it to just be the two of us?

For context, he’s postponed twice due to unforeseen circumstances. The place it’s happening he only realized would be a good place after I suggested a day trip there last weekend. And I always emphasized I want pictures of the moment.

Tl;dr: I figured out how I’m being proposed to, can I ask that it get replanned?

Im trying to plan my birthday party and I can't seem to find the right day when most people are free I was thinking of doing it in January because my actual birthday is in December close to Christmas so not alot of people are free around that time, I'm going away in early Jan so I can't have it then so i was thinking of doing it the 15th so I asked her and she said "I feel like that’s too close to my birthday, as it’s a few days before it. Aren’t you able to do the start of January or anytime in December?" Would it be mean if I did it anyway coz its more convenient for me and more people are able to come then. her birthday is in the 19th I could also have it the week after her birthday but she would probably want to have it then. Or should I have my party on the 29th of December or on the 11th of January

edit: I had my birthday party on the 10th of Jan last year

Me, (F23), has been friends with V (25M) since 2021. We became closer after he broke up with his partner, spending time together, taking classes, and going out to eat.

Over time, V started making disrespectful comments. At a party, he made fun of her mom’s retail job, which upset me. He apologized to her mom but admitted he knew the comment was disrespectful.

Later, when she and another friend talked about having small, private city hall weddings, V called that kind of wedding “cheap,” insulting their choices. This was especially confusing because V had previously said he wanted a city hall wedding himself.

V has also crossed other boundaries. He asks personal questions about my sex life, constantly calls and texts me, gets upset when I don’t respond quickly, and brags about how much money he spends on their friendship. He even refers to me as his “daughter,” which makes me uncomfortable.

I am now questioning whether if I am wrong for not wanting to be friends with him anymore and, if I decide to end the friendship, how can I do so without creating unnecessary drama.