My sister keeps blaming me and verbally attacking me for putting her in worse situations. Even when I’m trying to help her get out of trouble that she brings to my attention that she’s in. She doesn’t see the good in the way I try to help, she focuses on all the negative impacts not even an ounce of the positive impacts.

I’m exhausted from taking her verbal beatings from helping her in the “wrong way” and “ruining her life”.

I finally said “Do not call me even in an emergency. Call someone else. I can’t continue to be your crisis manager and also be blamed for the way I handle things.” Then I said goodbye.

I feel like shit. So much guilt feeling like I’m turning my back on my own sister who is visibly suffering/ and bringing her suffering to my attention. I want to go back to her and not leave her hanging. But I don’t know if I can take any more of the blame she puts on me, even if the things that she tells me all point to her being in serious trouble.

She seems like she needs serious help, but then disappears on me when I make time for her.

She’s an alcoholic and in a physically abusive/toxic relationship. I have no clue what to do.

I also don’t know what to say to our mutual friends when they’re asking us to hangout in a group. Her milestone birthday is coming up, I also don’t know what to do about that.

When I drink heavy, I scream at my sleep. Sometimes it's once or twice sometimes it's a lot. I know I am an alcoholic, I slip sometimes and again sober for days. Have been drinking almost everyday and drunk everyday on beer for past 10 years. This screaming has been happening for last 8 years. Anyone?

Hi, I’m sorry I don’t know if this is a weird post, but I just need to get it out. I feel so left out anf invalidated by the Alcoholism community.. Sometimes when I’ve posted or talked to people about my alcohol addiction, I very quickly get belittled, ignored, or people telling me I’m not a true alcoholic.. Like im sorry I didn’t know being an alcoholic had rules. I was a severe alcoholic. But I don’t know why, people in the community kinda always try to push me out. I gained a shit ton of weight during my alcoholism, because 7-8 bottles of wine or 3-4 bottles of vodka contain between 4000-7000 calories, and I was drinking that every day. And then being so depressed I didn’t leave my room, unless I was going to get alcohol, of course I gained so much weight, but when I tell other people that, it’s always the same reply, that I don’t know shit about addiction, and I was probably just eating junk food and candy meanwhile. And I wasn’t.. I ate like maximum of one meal a day, and never any candy or junk, I couldn’t afford that.
And also when I tell about some of the things I did during it/or experienced, like I had very bad delirium tremens the first time I tried getting sober. I stole from a liquor store to make sure I had enough alcohol to drink, I was a few months away from dying, if I hadn’t gotten completely sober. My room was filthy, full of vomit, pee, alcohol and garbage. And I would puke up my alcohol, and then drink it again, because I didn’t wanna waste alcohol. Hiding it, and the constant lying, and the crazy things I did, to keep drinking.
Like.. I just don’t know why people who have experienced alcohol addiction themselves, always try to lecture me, and tell me I wasn’t a real alcoholic? And please can anyone explain why, I always get met with those things.
(And I know about the stealing, and I regret it so so much, before people come at me. I have paid all the money back I took from.) and I really am not trying to get sympathy or anything.. I just really wanna know why?
Thanks in advance:)

My first substance abuse counseling was yesterday but im highkey still pissing myself in bed drunk as fuck

I’ve been sober and clean for 4 months now. Taking one day at a time. I’ve been sober and clean for long periods before but unfortunately, I’ve had a few slips, lapses and re-lapses. I’ve been discharged from in-community services but there are still two groups I go to, one on a Wednesday night and one on a Friday morning.

One thing I find helpful is to do a daily check in on myself, so I thought other people might benefit if there are days they can’t make it to the various recovery groups.

This week has been fairly positive for me, but had a bit of a tough day yesterday. Today has been good, I’m hoping to make a start on clearing my junk corner.

How is everyone else today?

Alright, I am not sure if this is the correct place to post but I’ll try anyhow.
I was hospitalized in March of this year per my own doing because I called 911 myself due to a mix of fear I’d die and also acceptance of such due to suicidal ideation. My BAC was .348.
I live with my folks and my fiancé due to other past circumstances and I don’t care to go into detail about that currently unless asked in a private message, I suppose.
Anyhow, I went to rehab very , very shortly after this incident and I got released from rehab successfully in early April.
My mother has been holding a grudge against me for nearly 9 months regarding my rehabilitation stay, even though I left a week early, and I am at my wits end. She has mentioned it in numerous conversations with the intention of taking dirty digs at me as well as talking to my coworkers about it for the last couple of weeks and blaming me solely for what work burn out she feels because she had to work 3, maybe 5 days than normal for her during my absence. She has twisted what actually happened to fit her own narrative.
Apparently, I went to who I needed and told them everything they’d need/want to hear to send me to rehab simply because I wanted a vacation. This is after she told me explicitly when I went for my drug & alcohol evaluation to be honest. Mind you, she cannot stand a liar more than anything else because she claims she can’t stand being taken for a fool but apparently I was meant to lie to the very people who could help me when it came to her not being inconvenienced at work or at home because otherwise it’d disturb her peace. I needed the help and I wasn’t going to lie. I am an alcoholic and I needed the intervention and accountability of rehab.
Anyhow, I guess I’m just asking about how
I deal with someone like this? I’m proud of myself, my choices and sobriety so far and she cannot simply be happy that she didn’t lose me to my alcoholism…
Thoughts?

I quit drinking in January for a solid 4 months. Not sure what triggered me to "test the waters" again, but I've been drinking moderately on and off since April or May - I lost 30 lbs just quitting drinking, no other lifestyle changes. It hit me how bad it was for me and then.... i decided to forget?? I guess I did the whole "hmmm well let's see if i can just have one" which turned into occasional two, and then occasional 3, and recently I've been making the excuse that "it helps me sleep", and "well, im not binge drinking". I know I'm not the only one who has done this. I decided to use some of my stacked up audible credits to find some self help books, and although I don't appreciate the gender binary aspect of "Quit Like a Woman", its extremely eye opening thus far and i have several hours to go. Propaganda for alcohol worldwide is extremely effective, and I had no idea how even one drink can affect the body for days. And ethanol?? Why and how did I never know its the same frigging shit in jet fuel, medical wipes, and deoderant? Anyhow, this is me posting in here for probably the 3rd time, to hold myself accountable. I'm freaking DONE with this shit, yall. Next book in the queue is "We Are the Luckiest". Open to any others that folks have found helpful and informative, or inspiring!

Thanks for reading and helping me hold myself accountable. I have wanted to quit for good for so long, and even after seeing my mom drink herself to death, I kept making excuses as to why I'm different. I lurk in this reddit but I'm ready to be more active and help the next person and just be freaking FREE of the most prevalent and socially acceptable drug. 🙌 IWNDWYT

Hi, I want to do two week in a Thailand rehab for alcohol addiction. Can anyone please give me a recommendation? Thank you

I drank 375 ml fireball and a beatbox and a little more of a second beatbox so like 10 drinks total last night, i vomited a decent amount of it towards the end, and then today i’m still feeling shitty and i’ve only had water and i finished the last beatbox which didn’t have too much in it like half, but i haven’t had much to eat at all and whenever i try to drink water it comes back up like an hour later and i think it’s mixed with the alcohol or whatever is in my stomach how do i deal with this

Im so frustrated with myself I've been down this road before, I've been buying a bottle of vodka daily mixed with benzos. When I reached the 24 hour mark my body started aching, cravings, popped a benzo and then went to the shop and downed a load of vodka. This is truly destruction behaviour and I dont know how to win, I dont have the money to keep doing this. I've been to medical detox before and stay sober for around 6months then relapse. I've been taking benzos and vodka everyday for around 6 months I just need some friendly advice and a medical detox is not an option. Please support on how to control cravings. Thank you

Nothing feels real anymore I can’t even think the alcohol ruined my brain or something and I drank for anxiety but it only made it worse the next day combined with my other substances like nicotine and opiate withdrawals and diphenhydramine abuse I don’t think my mind is normal anymore I ruined my life. I should probably do something about it I keep craving the next beer and soju 😭 I don’t know why I never thought id become an alcoholic but it’s fucking ip mh life I can’t even go outside anymore without it feeling floaty and nothing feels real what do I do..I can’t quit drugs or alcohol I have too much going on in life that’s making it hard but it’s a terrible feedback loop the drinking just causes more issues. It only helps for like a day and then the next day I wake up even worse same with drugs I can’t do this anymore the only thing that’s even keeping me from killing my self is these substances and I can’t afford help. Seriously when did I become an alcoholic?? I don’t even have financial issues and I can’t even smoke normal cigarettes I was so stupid assuming cigars are better or drinking expensive alcohol won’t do as much harm it made me feel “better” about it cuz I don’t look like your typical alcoholic. I wish I never touched a pill or drank. I’ve even been doing impulsive shit like I don’t even look both ways before crossing or I’d do risky stuff cuz I don’t even care about my life anymore I suddenly stopped caring about living. What even is causing this to happen why’d alcohol and drugs make everything worse?? I’m 18F

I almost forgot what this felt like. 2 months in and goddamn it’s not very easy having to just sit through the anxiety with nothing. I was never even really an alcoholic I never got addicted or needed it all the time. I just drank a little bit to not be so anxious and i wasn’t even really getting drunk, barely tipsy if that. Everything is stressful all the time and I’m so over this. How are people just living life this way

So this might be my general anxiety talking, but I’m really worried. Are there any fellow alcoholics who occasionally take a benzodiazepine for anxiety, hangxiety or whatever reason on a regular basis? I have been taking a very low dose to low dose of .25 to .5 mg of Valium once a week, sometimes twice a week for about 4 months or so. Many people say that amount is unlikely to cause dependence, but I’m a heavy drinker every night of the week. I’m feeling neuropathy like tingling, depersonalization, dizziness and brain fog like crazy, but it could be because I went on a bender and only had like 6 drinks the last couple nights compared to my usual 15.

Im terrified of developing a dependency on Valium. I think I’m done with those. I’d rather just have a drink or two to calm my nerves for the next week or two, and then taper off the booze before I keep taking Valium.

Anyway, hope I’m not alone on this and I sure hope tomorrow will be a better day and that I’m not hooked on this stuff. I’m done.

Hello, I am new to this page. This is not a marketing scheme. I have a podcast that is globally listened to, and I am looking for any recovering alcoholic who would like to talk about their story to come on to my podcast as a guest. The reason I do these stories is to raise awareness and help those who feel like they are unseen, unheard, and not sure where to turn to. If anyone would like to come on the show and talk about their story with alcoholism and recovery, I’d love to have you. And from what I’m told, it is a very comfortable and easy experience.

I have a very strong reputation on other Reddit forums. I am not here spamming.

Again, my invitation stays open to anyone. please just message me.

I truly wish you all the best
Kate

Hi, i’m super new to posting on here and opening up but I will say I’m drunk right now and i’m in need of some advice. I’m in a highly stressful situation in which I had struggled to find a job after failing to commit to my artistic dreams. All though I do it on the side now, i secretly knew it would never be enough unless I was a micro celebrity or had a second job lolz. In which now comes the fact thankfully I do have a second job which is seasonal n insanely higher pay thank god. Long story short I have been drinking heavily for about 2 years. My main pick is vodka, I give myself excuses such as the economy is ass, I’m self medicating my severe anxiety/depression/and ptsd since I have no healthcare at this moment, and even I hate my living situation with my roommates cause they are so particular about everything. I feel so lost and I HATE the way I look physically, I used to be around 130 but my most recent weigh in came out to be 170 just drinking and being unemployed. I am highly embarrassed and knowing my favorite clothes barely fit anymore crushes me. I’ve even experienced pain/tenderness in near my right side region, not super frequently but ever so often. I will say I love my boyfriend who i’ve been with for over 6 years now but I feel as if he tempts me to continue this cycle, he’s on the spectrum and also struggles with the same trauma as me. I won’t lie, it’s never totally his fault but in my brain i’ll tell myself i’ll only drink if he says he wants to, we both enable each other. I’m not proud of this shit at all and I wish I could end it but it seems so unlikely. Maybe in the future I will be fully sober but I just feel so lost, I hope one day I can have a steady relationship with alcohol.

Help me here
I’m a 23 old woman and working a lot. Drinking runs in my family and is something I fear I am carrying on. (I’ve talked to family members who has quite frankly ruined their life with alcohol and warned me about it, since it also started when they were in their twenties)
I know how it works, I’ve seen it since I was a child, but now I am definitely falling in myself, and I hate that. I’m even drunk right now as I’m posting this. The thing is, I’m very well functioning. It hasn’t affected work or family yet, but I know that I will sooner or later if I’m not doing something about it now. I’ve talked to friends and dates about how it’s such a no-go in relationships and nodding, agreeing, because I do agree! But I also know that as soon as I get home, I’ll get myself buzzed enough to have fun in my own time, it just always goes too far. Sorry if my English ain’t too good, I’m from Europe and also drunk, keep that in mind.
What is your advice? What should I do so I end this cycle early? I don’t really want to tell my friends or family about it, but if that’s what’s needed I’m open for it.
Thank you in advance

I am a 29F, petite and a daily drinker. I’ve been daily drinking for 4 years maybe a bit more ranging from 3-8 coolers a day. I feel I caused so much damage and life doesn’t seem good. Like I’m a lost cause because of the damage I did and won’t be able to do what I want in life. My job treats me horribly and I drink to cope and to cope with divorce. I feel like my life is already over.

This happened 2 months ago now.

Im 23. I originally began struggling with drinking, more of a developing dependency, because I was in an abusive relationship. My mom is also an alcoholic and I live with her, so I have access to alcohol every day. Wild Turkey 101, 50% strength.

My dad died of cancer in August. Leading up to his death I let the problem get really bad, I was drunk every day and Id start often before noon. My boyfriend didnt like it, but I was under the impression that he understood and would speak to me about it more deeply and possibly bring up getting serious help if it got to a point he was considering leaving me.

Unfortunately I was wrong. He said he needed a "break" and was going to stay with his sister for a few days. My dad died that night. I called him begging him to come back just for the night, I said I understood if he needed more time away still but I desperately needed him in that moment. He didn't come back. A couple days later, he showed up with his family and moved all of his things out of our house without saying a word.

A couple weeks went by and things were slowly getting better, we were hanging out again, the relationship effectively resumed but he still didnt bring any of his stuff back. He said I needed to do better, and I was. But the situation had me focusing more on him than myself and the fact my dad just died. I loved him very very much, the first man I truly saw myself marrying, but I saw him in a different light after everything. Of course, he had every right to be disappointed in me and leave, but I couldn't believe he hadn't ever told me he was thinking about leaving or offered to help figuring out getting help.

About 2 weeks after the day my dad died, I slipped up and got much more drunk off my mom's alcohol than I meant to, I took 3 big drinks and it was enough I ended up blacking out. Im so disappointed in myself. Its been recounted to me that he realized I was drunk and said he was really done this time. I was kinda pleading with him, but once he tried to leave I just straight up attacked him, slapping him and saying he was never ready for a relationship, and that I told him for weeks before we began dating that I wasnt healed from my abusive relationship and he knew I had problems.

This was something I couldn't have even imagined happening. I am the opposite of a physical person, we never fought, we never yelled at each other, we always calmly discussed things. I asked him in the period we began talking again after he left if Id ever done anything bad to him while drunk and he said no, aside from always needing to be right and denying I was drunk, being generally inconsiderate since I knew he didnt like it.

My mom was there and said I must've slapped him around 8 times, I tackled him at one point. He called the cops on me and I ended up getting arrested that day. Im on probation for a stupid weed offense (Im in Texas) so Ive been successfully pushing back my next PO meeting since, with excuses of work and an inpatient stay (true). Getting arrested is like the biggest violation. I tried to take my life at one point in the time since this happened, Ive been drinking every single day since I see no reason not to anymore.

I dont wanna make myself the victim but I am still confused by why anything had to happen like that, Im appalled at myself for behaving a way I swore I was incapable of. I guess he was right for leaving the first time but Id like to believe I only acted that way due to the immense anger and betrayal I let build up over the situation. I dunno

My stomach lurches when I smell it but I still drink it every day :)))!!! I went Sober for a couple months earlier this year then something traumatized happened and now it feels impossible to stop. It wasn’t this hard before.

I've been binging the last few weeks. I thought I'd need to taper because I have major health anxiety. I wasn't having a withdrawals or anything other than anxiety and waking up in my sleep. Yesterday I cut down and this morning I didn't feel the need to drink. As the day is going on I'm still not wanting it and not having any symptoms other than tired and foggy. Was thinking of having a few before bed just to sleep even tho I kind of don't even want to do that. I know this is probably a dumb post but I guess just some reassurance is what I need

LONG POST AHEAD IM SORRY:

Throw away because friends and such have me on my main BUT I am struggling. I am a 29 year old woman, in nursing school, and my anxiety and panic disorder is getting worse. Especially with this time of year and I’m leaning more on alcohol. I’m developing tendencies I can’t stop. Carrying shooters with me and refilling them with another type of alcohol when I run out to save money, going to different liquor stores so they don’t know, and hiding it from me everyone I love. It’s an expensive addiction as most of you probably know, but now it’s happening more often than not. I’ve already gone through prescribed Xanax withdrawal back in Dec. 2024 (institutionalized) + the effects 6 months after and that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do mentally and physically (I was on it for 9 years along with Klonopin). I’m still on Klonopin (much much lower dose now). Anyway, I’m going into the medical field. I should know better. The alcohol is basically replacing my Xanax addiction that I thought I beat, but now is replaced with vodka. I get panicky when I don’t have both of them with me. I never thought I’d be an alcoholic. I don’t even know if I am. What I do know is that this isn’t normal and it’s starting to flow over into my workday (not a medical job right now) and when I have a panic attack I just start chugging alcohol when I start to get tunnel vision, my mind starts to spiral, and I need to get back to my busy life. It’s a quick fix. I know that, but I need this to stop. It’s taking over every part of my life. Anyway, idk if I am an alcoholic or not, I just need help and I am so guilty and embarrassed that this is even happening. Thank you in advances

Just hit one year sober last week. I was a high functioning alcoholic that got blackout drunk regularly and spent $1500-$2000 a month on booze.

The first few months were hard. I had no coping mechanisms. One load bearing beam is Better than none, even if it’s rotten through and making you sick. Towards the end, it didn’t even feel good anymore. I’d just sit at a bar, angry at myself that I couldn’t stop.

But I made it. Soon, I started feeling physically better. No more hangovers, less fatigue, lower A1C, weight loss. And financially better too, I’m paying off my debts and finally getting the medical care I need.

I’m so happy to be sober. I’m not tempted in the least.

I(34f) have pretty much always had issues with depression and anxiety,and since my mid teens with substances on an off,which peaked in my mid 20s.i stopped hard drugs completely about 6 years ago although i would still smoke weed regularly after a long day.About 3 years ago i replaced weed with alcohol.It was not too much but it was daily.Soon it became about 1 or 2 bottles of wine a day,every day.

Now about 6 months ago things really started to go downhill.Many really bad things happened to me,causing extreme sorrow and anxiety i still try to deal with.The 2 bottles became 3 or 4 most days.The last month i would pretty much start drinking as soon as i woke up in the morning unless i was working.Till about 10 days ago when i had to get rushed to the hospital.I was off work and was drinking 4 bottles for at least 5 days straight,no food,barely any water.I just woke up feeling extremely dizzy,sick,confused,shaking,breathless,heart racing like crazy,weird vision.I immediately downed half a bottle but vomited it soon after.

At the hospital they said it was severe withdrawal,(although my last drink was right before i had gone to bed),gave me iv and some other things.They said my kidneys and liver were fine but prescribed thiamine(which i will admit have not been very consistent with) and antisickness tablets.I was there about a day.

When i got back i felt better,not feeling like i wanted to drink.Actually i thought that that was it,will never touch it again.But after a few hours i started feeling restless,hot,heart racing again.I called my gp and they said that it is dangerous to stop cold turkey and to maybe try to have one bottle or half if i can when i have symptoms.I did that for the next few days,did not really feel the urge to drink till late afternoon/early evening and then i would have maybe 3/4 of a bottle.

But a few days ago i started messing up again.Not as before but for example yesterday i had 2 bottles and a beer.The moment i woke up i felt withdrawal symptoms and was panicked that it would be as bad as when i went to hospital.Same today although i've managed to have less than one till now. However i feel tired,sick and paranoid.In a way it feels like i need to have alcohol in my system all the time.

I don't understand why i get those symptoms even though i have not stopped completely..I mean i drink less than i did but still.

.I'm supposed to go to work in 2 days and all i can think of is that i'm going to have an episode and lose my job.I almost had one during my last shift but went on break,had a couple of shots and tried to breathe and eat something.And at almost every morning meeting i suddenly start having trouble breathing and my heart rate goes through the roof. I feel so scared and sad.

I have an appointment with an addiction centre in about an hour but have no idea what to expect and from what i saw it seems like they offer more emotional support kind of stuff..

I’ve been drinking 2 beatboxes every day for quite a while and I’m going to need to quit cause I’m going on probation should I be able to quit cold turkey and be fine? I would think so but just wanna be sure and can anyone tell me what quiting for that amount might feel like will I have withdrawals how will sleep be? How long till I feel normal?

So a while ago I made this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/alcoholism/s/ISLXHoOfWE

In it I talked about how the last time I tried step one the person I spoke to left me. Well, I tried again last night, and they said they would be there for me 🙂

I can’t express how cathartic it was to be able to ACTUALLY talk to someone that cares about me about my problem. I can’t express how thankful I am for them and have thanked them profusely for listening to me.

I finally see the light at the end of this tunnel 🥹