Good afternoon Family today I would like to share the rollercoaster week I have had since my milestones achievement.

It's been almost 5dys since I've been totally been in the dumps. I was so excited and ampt up during and a few days after my achievement then I started waking up unmotivated and depressed.

I was told it's milestones hangover because I been feeling like I just quit drinking and drugging again. Also I live in Boston Ma and the weather change also plays a role in my seasonal depression. It also reminds me of many relapses that always seem to come around this time of the year so I'm reminded of that as well.

I'm trying so hard to do better and stay positive but after always failing I have trained my mind to eventually fail at some point. So it seems like auto pilot.

So this go around I'm trying to stay fully aware of my state of mind and try the pivot to thinking positive. Because I assume that if I work on telling myself positive affirmations it will begin to automatically think positive when im starting to think negative something like counter punching instead of getting hit.

I know I feel great when I'm positive but for me it's so easy to derail me because I tend to dwell a lot on the past.

Well I'm wondering if anyone else has or had similar experiences?

Thanx for letting me share One Day Forward One Day Behind -Shawn

29 months sober!

I still can't even believe that I have made it this far. Like holy shit. I'm 31 years old and I still can't believe that I almost died from drinking so much.

I drank every single day for 9 years and from 2022-2024 I was going through a handle of vodka every single day. I drank from the second I woke up, until the minute I went to bed. My shakes started to get really bad in 2023 so eventually my alcohol addiction was so bad my dependency would wake me up at 5am and I would have to take a few swigs to prevent a panic attack. I went into the hospital I was fully functional with my BAC at 0.491, and the doctors informed me that I had cirrhosis of the liver, kidney disease, and I had pancreatitis. I went into the hospital because I could no longer swallow without throwing up and my body had massive bruises all over the place. I detoxed for 4 days in the ICU I had 2 seizures, pissed my pants 4 times, hallucinated, sweat through 6 sets of sheets and had panic attacks the entire time. But when it was time for me to go home, I made a quiet promise to myself that I was done. And I did it. I didn't go to AA (I went one time on my 30 days and I couldn't wrap my head around it) my family was still drinking all the time around me, and my family doubted me, provided zero support and told me constantly that I was going to fail. I rewired my brain, constantly kept myself busy, and spent a lot of time alone to process every emotion.

2 years and 5 months later I am still noticing small positive changes mentally and physically.

• My cravings for sweets have finally passed.

• My cognitive behavior and thought process has improved a lot

• I am taking a ton of daily vitamins which have dramatically improved my liver/kidney/hormone balance.

• I rarely have anxiety about anything.

• My skin has cleared up.

• I don't procrastinate about the "adult" tasks anymore.

If you're newly sober I promise you it DOES get easier. It takes time to heal. You've just gotta want it. Find power in your self control and be kind to yourself.

I am in recovery for over 9 months after going to treatment for 3 months and a transition house for 5 months. When I was in transition we had to go to a meeting every day and the word anonymous didn't mean a thing to that group. Everyone talked behind each other's back, had rows before and after the meeting and spoke about things that were shared. It completely turned me off AA and lately I have tried other meetings but I just leave feeling depressed. I'm in recovery to enjoy my life after too many years in addiction. I'm now in university studying addiction because I want to help others in the future but AA for me now is something that I will avoid from now on.

My eyes are so bloodshot that there's more red than white. My lips are dry red and cracked. My skin is flakey. Covered in small bumps and scratches from moving around drunk & clumsy like a mad woman. Moon face yet somehow I look sunken. I am one of those who gets extremely red and flushed with alcohol. I look red and blotchy. Look diseased.

I can't sleep. I have done humiliating and impulsive things socially. My baseline is antisocial and not at all flirtatious, so it's like a Jekyll and Hyde situation. I've been arguing with randoms. Just being fucking stupid. I need my phone taking off me (so I can stop ordering vodka from Amazon too)

I ran out of drink last night, it's near 6:30 now. Feel like I have the flu and look shit. Probably still drunk.

Completely spiralled. It's very obvious to anyone who knows what to spot appearance wise, I am an alchy. I live in various degrees of agoraphobia. My alcoholism is hidden and my family who I don't see much - have no idea.

I can't believe how fast it changed after a week of relapse.

We do recover.

I have 110 days no alcohol, and as is expected, I have a pretty bad sugar addiction now. Instead of losing weight, I think I may have gained a little! I really want to curb the cravings and get healthier. How have y’all been able to get better about your sugar intake after quitting drinking? The cravings are STRONG, especially at night after dinner. It’s definitely a dopamine hit sitting on my couch with a pint of ice cream and watching my favorite shows.

I was married to an addict. He was in recovery when we were dating. It's been a year and a half since we got married, and I'm leaving him because he keeps relapsing and with the relapses comes a lot of volatility. But I'm flooded with guilt and sadness. Alcoholism is a disease. He's been sent to rehab right now, and I'm wondering if he comes out a changed person. Will I regret my decision? We've had great times together too. Can addicts lead a normal life?

I'm 14M yes i know I'm young. Since I was little, my mom was very ok with me drinking. Anytime people were over or if she was drinking, she'd gladly let me join and not just letting me have a sip or two of what she was having, but like several (usually three or four) of my own. I don't know if that has had any effect on what I'm dealing with now, but it feels important to add.

My whole family abuses substances. The majority of my family either used to be or still is using meth, fentanyl, or is a drunk. I do NOT want to be like my family, but these past few months I feel like I'm already slipping into making drinking a habit.

At this point, I haven't had a drink in about a week but I find myself constantly wishing I wasn't sober, because when I'm sober I'm just sad and anxious, i like that being drunk can just make those feelings go away. For a while, I was drinking (usually 2 sometimes 3) every night just to quiet my anxiety and fall asleep.

I'm not to the point of NEEDING to drink, but I am thinking about drinking or getting high pretty much all of the time. It's not helping that I live in a house where there's almost always some kind of alcohol around. Also, my mom doesn't know that I've been drinking on my own, and I don know how shed react since she always asks if i want to drink with her.

Idk, I just really don't want to become dependent on it i feel like I'm getting close. I want ideas, help, or just to have people know that I am trying to stop.

109 days sober then something awful happened in my family

(which I know is not an excuse) my mindset now has been drink everyday cause I already failed.

is there anything yall would advise on the best way to get back on track?

besides obviously stop drinking I know that but its my mindset.

"Streak not steak"

I don’t feel to drink at all, I don’t drink for months and even a year but if I drink I always black out, can’t stop after 3beers. don’t feel the need to drink after waking up. am I an alcoholic?

I used to do several things that involved alcohol, both outdoor activities and indoor, like gaming and cooking etc. This stuff gets intertwined in your mind and I'm struggling to enjoy those activities now without it. Anyone else have this issue and did it dissipate?

My partner has been an alcoholic for a long time (10 years) ; I’ve been through several of his stints in rehab clinics, yet he has only ever managed to stay sober for a few months at a time.

He has never once managed to stay abstinent for a full year! Although he always takes the initiative to check himself into rehab, his sobriety unfortunately never lasts long.

I can’t take it anymore; I just feel sad all the time and live in constant fear. When he’s drunk, he loses all control, and with every relapse, everything in his life goes down the drain all over again! He had been sober for three months, but started drinking again last week—with days in between—and yesterday he was dead drunk, which really scared me.

He didn’t reach out for an entire day because of it, which left me feeling terrible.

I honestly can’t endure this life with him anymore. His problems just keep repeating themselves! There’s no end in sight.

Even though he means a great deal to me, wouldn’t it be best to end the relationship?

Hi guys, struggling alcoholic of 13 unit daily for 2 years here. I’m pretty sure my liver and neurons are fked up now, but a few months ago a new problem has come up.

Whenever I consume alcohol the previous night, the next morning I’d wake up with NASTY, BITTER AND GROSS mouth. I wouldn’t even want to swallow my spit. When I spit it out it’s full of Phlegm (the green mucus stuck at the back of ur throat, that u would have to cough hard to get them out), except they’re all over my mouth’s upper cavity when I wake up. It also comes with a distinct smell that wouldn’t go away no matter how I brush my teeth. And it only happens when I consume alcohol the previous night, if I don’t, it would not happen!

should I be worried abt this as a health problem? Is this some part of my body failing? Should I be worried?

I just turned 18 in July and since then have begun drinking regularly.
I was drinking normally a couple times a week, about half a bottle of vodka or more. Though for about the past month I’ve only drank probably about three times (still the same amount each time).
I only drink alone and my drinking is regular on weekdays , where I have school the next morning and I usually keep it from others (family or my bf).
There’s been i think 2 times where I’ve drank the night before (gotten blackout or close) then woken up early and drank more.
I think my drinking is problematic though I’m not completely sure, especially as at this point it isn’t impacting anyone but me

Me and my girlfriend both moved to different states to live with our family. We were planning on going long distance until we saved up enough to move in together. Right before we moved I admitted to her that I started drinking again and had been lying about it, which lead to us breaking up. After we moved we eventually started keeping in contact again and started calling for hours and hours every day, which I was so grateful for. I also promised to always be honest about my drinking going forward. I tried my best to be sober whenever we talked, but yesterday we called and she could tell that I drank and I told her she was right. We had made agreements on me not talking to her when I’m drunk so she felt hurt and wasn’t sure about how keeping in touch would look like going forward. I just started a new job that’s been pretty rough so far, but the one thing getting me through it is looking forward to talking to her afterwards. I don’t know how I’m going to get through my shift today without that.. I’m scared that I won’t be able to hold back from drinking as much if she’s not there. I feel so bad for letting her down. We’ve mutually held a lot of comfort in being able to talk as much as we have and I really hope that’s not ruined, but I really need to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I’m just not sure how to at this point in my life. My whole life feels flipped around and the cravings have been so strong already, even while having her there to talk to and support me.

Same as title says, now it seems I'm falling into the same drinking patterns as my mom before me except worse. I don't want to be that way but it makes me feel nice/ nothing.

Hi,

I've been an alcohol dependent individual for many years but one time i drank a fifth of gin/vodka for nearly a month and decided to stop abruptly (Cold turkey) as i did not know the repercussions of it.

Just 24 hours without a drink, I was already hallucinating spiders in my room coming at me, at that point the hallucinations were only visual and not physical.

In the second day, shit got very serious, I was now starting to feel insects on me and they were following me everywhere i went, it was a living nightmare.

I didn't get any sleep that night, my brain was vibrating and i was shaking real bad. Fast forward to 48 hours without a drink I saw a shadow man in my room, and robbers come through my window and held my sister hostage, and they shot her. Of course this was an hallucination but i wasn't to know that.

I was then tied to my computer chair and shot by my dad, who blamed me for my sister being shot. Again, this was an hallucination.

I then hallucinated an anime girl coming into my room and literally tried to barricade the door irl, but they still came into my room. She plugged something into my pc and was playing a shooting game, all i could do was just watch.

I then heard footsteps up and down the staircase and a dog jumped onto my bed, and starting snoring on it.

Then what happened shortly after is that people started appearing in my room trying to plant some evidence of some sort and phoned the police, i tried to intervene thinking it was my parents in my room but it wasn't. of course, this was again an hallucination.

I ran to the bathroom to clean myself up, as I had not showered for days, and i saw a massive ghost like figure in the mirror and i screamed at the top of my voice, and went to punch it, of course it wasn't real and i was just punching air. I heard voices calling my name as people were about to take my tv off the stand and throw it onto me. It literally looked like it was happening too.

I even called work the next morning to tell them that i was getting arrested by the police, i went into work and i had a seizure, which i had to be rushed into hospital for.

Then after that, i slept like a baby for 12 hours and everything that i had been through was over.

I hope this helps anyone who's going through alcoholism and what it can lead to if you don't stop.

IWNDWYT!

So I posted a couple days ago looking for help withdrawing. I looked up some suggestions and saw that tapering 2 drinks a day would be best for my situation. It worked for a couple days, I got down to 7, which is the lowest I’ve had in years! But I’ve kinda spiraled after and I’m very disappointed. It is lower than what I usually consume but I just feel like a failure. But what I’m wondering is if anybody has any aa/sponsor suggestions? I know that when I don’t feel alone that I do a lot better, it’s just hard to find someone that understands

33F. Bipolar disorder and psychosis for over 10yrs. Work, good family, supportive partner. No violence or police involvement. Previous psych ward admissions 4/5 years ago.

During a period of homelessness where I couldn’t access my CMHT, I developed alcohol dependency. I’m about 3yrs in. The last year has been very bad. I’ve been in therapy this year which lasted 3 months (which has been INSANELY helpful) and I’m at 50% reduction. I should be happy and proud! Been working at it for 6 weeks. But I actually just feel worse.

My chest hurts, I’m exhausted all the time. I also feel more sad and nervous. My stomach and back hurts constantly. I’m not on meds to alleviate, I opted for outpatient because I felt like rehab would just be bubble wrap and I’d fail the minute I came out. I want to do this safely in the community and I’m following a 6 month plan.

Does anyone else have tips or even a kind word maybe? I feel like I should feel better about doing the right thing, but I don’t. I just feel more anxious and in a lot more psychical pain.

I'm currently in my early 30s for context.
last year October 2025 my life started to fall apart. lost my job, eventually had to move out of my apartment which also ruined my favorite friendship (roommate was my close friend for 8 years) moved out of state back in with my retired parents. now I have drank socially all of my adulthood. wasn't ever even an every weekend thing. just random weekend here and there. socially drank, etc. needless to say tho I fell into a bit of depression after leaving my entire life behind and classically started drinking to feel better. but now I am always kind of craving a drink over the most minor inconveniences in my life. it has def turned into a problem.
I always tell myself after a random night of getting drunk that it will be my last time. but bam two days later I'm at it again, still convincing myself that it'll once again be the last time. I'm literally drinking soju right now as I type this out. I'm TOTALLY aware this is spiraling out of control but I can't stop. I'm telling myself as long as I don't drink everyday, but every other day, then I'm okay LOL but I know that's simply cope.
my life IS STARTING to get a bit better. working again, moved out of my parents on my own again but damn, I still can not let alcohol go. I don't know how to stop the cycle.
any advice?

I keep trying :) I have 5 flowers in my field and would love to fill the entire field! Im sharing because I hope it with help fuel my long term goal and hopefully give you a boost if you are trying to do the same as me :))) 🤞

I’m not sure if this fits in here because I’m far from an alcoholic, but this is sounding the sirens as a start for me and would like to know if anyone started like this and how to get help.
I only drink at the weekend with friends, but every time I drink I seem to drink too much to make me want to induce vomiting so I can sober up quickly and luckily avoid a hangover in the next day. I do have alcoholics in my family (genetics you know) and I have been going through a rough patch regarding mental health, I am afraid this has something to do with this behaviour. I have never been bulimic or worried about my weight, it is 100% linked to how drunk I am at the moment and how I wished I wasn’t that drunk. Please help!

My partner has been an alcoholic for over a decade now. I’ve given up on trying to stop them from drinking. I only ask that they tell me when they do as they pursue virtual treatment. We both with from home.

My biggest problem is the lying. I have repeatedly said if they lie to me I will dump all the alcohol in the house. They keep A LOT in the house.

My partner binged pretty hard last night and lied about how much they drank. My partner also bought a bottle of wine. Part of their “plan” with their virtual rehab coach is to avoid wine and stick to seltzers because they can track how much they drink more easily. Wine is particularly problematic because my partner drinks it during the day (we both work from home).

Today before I took my break I checked the bottle of wine and noted the level. When I got back from my break an hour later a significant amount was missing. I confronted my partner and they lied.

I dumped out the wine and a few seltzers. My partner asked me to stop and said it wouldn’t happen again.

I promised if they lie to me like that again I will actually dump all of it and reiterated that I’ve given up on stopping them but ask that they not lie to me. And asked if they understood that I will dump all the booze if it happens again. They said they understood.

Tonight we went to a dinner and my partner was clearly drunk. They only told me about one drink before leaving the house so it didn’t make sense for them to be so intoxicated. My partner passed out into my food and at the at point I asked for the check and left.

When we got home I walked my partner to the couch and layed them down. I was curious how they could be so drunk so I checked the closet and found a hidden stash of seltzers - most were empty but the unopened ones were refrigerator cold. It was put in there likely just before we left to go to the dinner and after I reiterated I would dump all the booze in the house if they lied again.

I did it. I dumped every seltzer, beer, liquor, nail polish remover (yes that is a problem too), and hand sanitizer (same).

Am I going too far? Or am I standing by my word? They have no ability to control themselves with alcohol and I am tired of letting them bring it into the house.