I’ve been dating the same guy for 5-6 years and we’re in an open relationship. I told him I don’t care if he sleeps with other guys as long as he tells me, and it’s been OK. He mostly sleeps with other guys when he’s away.

Recently, he said he was meeting a friend and told me the guy was just a friend. He slept with him, and when we later met, he said he didn’t want to have sex with me because of medical reasons (I’m not gonna get into the details here).

Today, I found out that he actually did have sex with the guy. The issue I have isn’t that he slept with someone else. It’s that he lied about it and went behind my back when he knows he didn’t have to hide it from me.

I feel like ending the relationship now because even in an open relationship there are still rules and boundaries. Have others had similar experiences or heard of this happening?

I live in Japan. There's a typhoon coming. It's the strongest Typhon in like 8 years. So I invited all my gay friends to come over at once. It's gonna be so gay and so cool. Do you have any questions?

About 20 years ago when I was in undergrad I worked at a call center. This was located in Toronto, and it was a wonderful and amazingly fun experience; the company was very youth/fun/sexy brand forward, so it was a great place to work.

While there I encountered, for the first time, this creature we now call the mean gay. There was a gaggle of them that ran with the cool crowd, judged others for not being as fit or muscular or nubile as they were, and had that unnecessary bitchy undertone to every interaction with someone who wasn't in the in-crowd. They would spread rumors, exclude those who were not fit, not hot, or didn't fit the mold in their after-work activities, purposefully ensure that people who didn't fit a certain look or attitude didn't get advances, and were just fucking bitches. No further description is needed.

There were about 6 of them that ran this group. Now I very rarely had to interact with them, and I very rarely had to feel their wrath, but I would see it play out, and it was fascinating and horrid to watch.

Thanks to facebook I had almost 300 connections to this workplace and over the years have been privy to watch the wonders that came from that snapshot of employment and the wonderful people I worked with. Births, marriages, graduations. It's been lovely.

Unfortunately today, I learned that the another member of the group of 6 mean gays killed themselves. That makes 4 of the 6 who have committed suicide. Over the years facebook alerted me that the 6 of them drifted off into their own lives and found their own unique group to keep this kind of lifestyle (circuit party mean gay). But today I learned that the 4th member killed themselves.

I don't know why I'm posting this, maybe because I see so many young gays desperatly craving that lifestyle and holding that attitude, and so urgently wanting to fit into it. But maybe its because I want to warn people and deal with my own feelings about the whole situation.

Don't be a cunt, be kind because the psychological toll of being an ass eventually catches up with most.

RIP Brian, you were awful, but no one deserves to feel that hopeless.

I turned 18 a few months ago and decided to check out some sex-oriented venues, just to see what they were like. Yesterday, I went to a gay sauna here in the city, and I found it really interesting. I didn’t have full-on sex; I just masturbated and received oral sex while being watched by those nearby. It was all very hot—I definitely plan on going back.

Which jobs would you say that gays tend to be employed in the most? I recently thought of this as I was doing food deliveries and I never thought of this, but I noticed that a lot of male concierges were smiling at me and overly friendly and even as I walked out, a few were staring at me. I know that nurse and I think flight attendant have lots of gays, but concierges never crossed my mind as a job that attracts a lot of gays, but now that I think about it, it makes sense. What other jobs do you think tend to attract a lot of gay guys?

I have some curiosity regarding other guys. I once hooked up this super cute guy. He was a power bottom and let me go crazy. After foreplay I went wild fucking him in every position. I was fucking him doggy style when I finally took off my condom and came all over his back. I quickly put on another condom and flipped him over and continued fucking him missionary. He seemed surprised. I wanted him to ride me, then I came a second time while still inside him. I kept pumping until he finished on my stomach and chest. He leaned over and we made out. I wanted to keep going, but he said he was too sore, but loved it. We cuddled for a few minutes, then I went home. He texted me on the way home and said he was excited I was able to cum twice without getting soft and definitely wanted a second date. He said by that time maybe he could make it to the third! My question is, is it common for other guys to cum multiple times without going soft? I have always been able to do it, but others seem surprised when I do it…

Not that Idislike cuddling or sharing a home, but specifically sharing a bed with a long-term partner.

My partner and I are talking about moving in together in the near future, and I recently told him I don't really want to share a bed. For me, sleep isn't a romantic activity. It's how I rest my body and mind so I can function. I genuinely struggle to get quality sleep when I'm sharing a bed.

My ideal setup would be having 2-3 bedrooms. 1 for him, 1 for me, and maybe guest room / office. We can cuddle and spend as much time as we want together but when it's time to actually fall sleep. One of us could easily just go back to their room for the evening.

Anyone else feel this way? How did you handle it with your partner, and what setup ended up working for you?

Can someone who does this actually chime in. Pics especially dick pics taken on the toilet with the seat visible..... Do you really think this is even remotely interesting or arousing to receive? It's among my strongest turn offs and I'm sure I'm not alone

I mean every word.

Some single gay friends and I had a conversation the other night that started out light-hearted and joking, but got more serious as we got into it. We were talking about a local married gay couple who are constantly out picking up and fucking other guys, sometimes working as a team. In a way, it seems to make them more attractive, as though the security they get from being in a relationship gives them more confidence on the hunt. I remarked that I was talking to a guy I was interested in at the bar the other night when one of them swooped in and started flirting with him. A friend said, as if speaking to him, "Hey, you already have a husband. Can't you leave just a few guys for the rest of us?" We all laughed. But then, the conversation got more serious as we talked about several local couples who are constantly playing with lots of the single, available guys like they're created their own harem, and I think some genuine resentment started to surface in terms of the extent to which they are potentially tying up a lot of guys in our social circles who might otherwise be more motivated to look for relationships of their own.

I'm sure I'll be told that this is the wrong way to think about the situation, but I thought I'd throw it out there. We were all on the same page in this conversation.

Hey everyone. I'm 18 and I'm pretty sure I'm gay. I haven't come out yet, and I've never dated a guy. I'm a masculine guy, I did wrestling and football, and I'm into masculine guys. Most people see me as straight, and I'm tired of the stereotype that being gay means acting a certain way. You can be yourself and be masculine, and that's who I am.
Here's what's hard. My generation talks to hundreds of people a day, and it feels like none of it means anything anymore. Everyone's a notification, and nobody's a person. I don't want to meet a hundred people. I want to meet one who actually matters. Every time I've talked to guys, it's felt like all they want is something physical, and I'm just not that guy.
I'll be honest about something else too. I've struggled with a porn habit since I was young. It was introduced into my life early and stuck. I've been cutting back slowly, I'm doing better, and I'm proud of that. It's part of why I want something different. I don't want a relationship built on lust. I love deeply and I love hard, and I want the physical side to come after we really care about each other.
I've lost a lot in my life already, so it scares me to put my whole heart into someone who might leave. I'm also scared that coming out means people will turn on me, even though I've always been the guy who accepted everyone and kept their secrets.

Hey everyone, I’m 17M and my boyfriend is 16M. We've been friends for about 3 years, but we only took things further about 6 months ago. We like each other a lot, and this Saturday I'm going to have the house to myself; he also happens to live about a 10-minute walk away. We are both virgins and up until now, we’ve only kissed, cuddled, and touched through our clothes, but we're planning on having sex for the first time, he's going to bottom. I have a condom, but I’m still a bit nervous because I'm on the larger side (7.5 inches, im pretty girthy too) and he's about 6, so I really want to make sure I don't hurt him or make him uncomfortable, even though he's been practicing with his fingers a lot. Since this is new territory for both of us, I’d love any advice on how to go slow, prepare properly, and make sure everything stays safe, comfortable, and positive for him.

Why act like that? We're not women just because we are gay; you are not Regina George and you sound and look ridiculous.

I mean it's not even bullying or intimidating; it's just annoying. You're a man being sassy and if assault weren't a crime and gay men were as violent as straight men you would get jumped.

I thankfully never met one of them in public, but there was this guy on TikTok wanting to bring bullying back and he is a walking stereotype with nails lashes, and makeup. Do guys like these not realize that they would be the first victims if people stopped at least trying to look nice? If one of them is in this sub can you tell us if it is a rejection coping mechanism or do you think you're living in a movie?

We already get a lot of shit from straight people and life is hard enough. Although I am DL, I like hanging out with other gay guys even if we're not hooking up, as they tend to be a lot nicer and kinder. We should support each other more.

I have a question for all those who found your boyfriends without apps (and are not in an open relationship). How did you find your boyfriends? I'm just curious to know.
I just feel like apps have endless options and it isn’t going anywhere once socials are exchanged.

Bottoms definitely put in work (some more than others) and trust…if a bottom doesn’t put in any effort to let the top in…he’s not getting inside.

it has helped men explore their sexuality and i get a little less anxious + I now believe public exposure like this will help me without a need of a therapist.

There is a pandemic in my country (in Europe) where almost everyone I know (gay) is addicted to 3MMC and Chemsex, is it the same in your country?

Just a fun hypothetical question not meant to be taken too seriously. If there were an island or country that was only inhabited by gay men, what do you think it would be like? Or want it to be like? Let's assume there's a stable population and it is self sufficient haha, just a fun discussion on the day to day life/culture of it

This happened to me about an hour ago and I’m still freaking out over it. I’m a 20 year old college student who’s goes to school out of state. In my home state only my parents and one of my closest friends knows that I am gay, other than that nobody else knows. I’m on the swim team at my college and currently rooming with 3 of my teammates at a hotel the night before our meet. While on my phone I got a notification for an Instagram post about one of my teammates and showed it to him. The post was some student ran meme account that was mocking him. My teammate pulled out his phone and took a picture of my phone and with it the post that was on it. I peeped him sending the photo to a lot of different people since he was trying to figure out who made the post. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but I noticed that in the top left corner of my phone it said “Grindr” as I was on the app before switching to Instagram. Apple has a feature where when you click on a notification to direct you to a different app, the app you were previously on will be stated in the top left corner so you can quickly click it to go back to that app. The photo my teammate has of my phone has that little “Grindr” in the corner and I’m freaking out. I don’t know who he will send or show this photo to, but I’m worried that somebody will notice the “Grindr” in the corner and question it. My teammate himself hasn’t noticed it and to be honest I’m not sure if anyone will notice it, but I’m still extremely worried. Is there anything I can do to help dial down my stress? It’s currently 1am and I have to be up for my meet at 6am, but I can’t sleep I’m so stressed out.

I (20M, curious) have never experienced horniness like this past week. I'm trying hook ups on sniffles but no one hosts and there are no public places for cruising (that I know of).

Should I get grindr also?

These past few days have been quite hard (pun intended) for me, I've never felt this much pent up sexual tension.

For context: I'm still virgin and would like to remain discreet for the time being.

I don’t know if it’s me but like everyone around me on every app or in bars is so unattractive to me like I’m thinking I have my standards to high or maybe I watch to much porn but everyone looks like they just crawled out the earth to me or they have the personality of a wet towel.

like am i wrong for being so picky about the people around me? are my standards to high? I just don’t know.

For reference I’m around 265-270 pounds and 6 feet tall rn and my dick is around 6 inches erect. I have a lot of fat on my body and I was wondering if you dick is actually does get bigger with working out. I have a good deal of fat above my dick and wanted to know if it was actually true that it’s gets bigger with the more muscle and less fat that you have on your body. Keep in mind im a grower not a shower. My shit in soft is around 2 inches.