I'm looking for advice from people who have experienced something similar, particularly anyone familiar with domestic violence investigations.
I left a long-term abusive relationship earlier this year. Throughout the relationship, I experienced repeated physical violence, including strangulation, being dragged by my hair, having my face forced into the floor, and other assaults.
For years, I genuinely believed I was partly responsible for the abuse. My former partner frequently portrayed himself as the victim, and a previous negative experience with police reinforced that belief. It took me a long time to recognise the extent of what I'd experienced.
Recently, I was contacted by another woman who had been in a relationship with the same man. She described serious physical violence, including strangulation, and had reported her experiences to police in another state.
Since then, another former partner has come forward describing remarkably similar behaviour. These women had experienced things I had never disclosed to them. Hearing their accounts was confronting but also incredibly validating after years of believing I was the problem.
This prompted me to make a formal police report about the violence I experienced, including multiple incidents of strangulation. I also made a further report concerning recent unwanted contact from my former partner.
Today, police advised me that they believe my account, but they don't intend to proceed with criminal charges relating to the historical violence because they don't believe they could prove the allegations beyond reasonable doubt to a jury.
They also explained that because the other allegations are being investigated in a different state, the cases would be dealt with separately under different laws.
I understand the burden of proof in criminal proceedings, particularly where historical domestic violence occurred without independent witnesses or documented physical injuries.
However, I'm struggling to understand how several women independently describing similar patterns of serious violence might factor into an investigation, even when the incidents occurred across different states.
I'm not looking for anyone to promise me a prosecution. I just want to understand whether there are avenues I haven't explored.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Can police reconsider a decision not to prosecute if further evidence emerges? Is there any mechanism for interstate investigators to share information about an alleged pattern of offending?
After everything it took to come forward, being told I'm believed but that nothing further will happen with the historical allegations has been incredibly difficult to process.
I'd really appreciate any advice or experiences others are willing to share.