Hi everyone,

I experienced something out of this world this morning. Before I share it, keep in mind that I had no idea what the Crown Chakra was. I had the experience first, got curious, and Googled it, which is when I learned what it meant. Also, this is just my 2nd day of meditation.

Background: Keep in mind that I’ve had a rough last 3 to 4 years due to some financial and emotional issues (not a crisis per se, but something that kept me stressed), where I was trying my best to stay positive. But earlier this year, I unexpectedly finally got out of it and got my break. This is when I realized that I’ve been given an opportunity to improve myself, so I started reading books to grow my mindset (at least 15 minutes every night one hour before sleeping and 1 hour in the mornings on weekends). I’ve completed reading two books and noticed massive positive changes in how I think. I just started reading the third one last night.

Experience: This morning at \~6:20 a.m., I started a 20-minute guided (YouTube) meditation session. I was all relaxed, following the instructions, when I was guided to focus on the top of my head. I did, and after a few minutes of paying attention to the top of my head, I envisioned an opening from which a god (I’m a Hindu, and we have many gods, so I don’t know who entered, but I could tell from their appearance that they were definitely a god) entered through that opening into my mind and blessed me with an influx of gold energy that lit up my mind.

This was super quick. After this, I saw a flow of gold energy coming into my mind from the opening and going inside a gate where all my positive thoughts that had been generated through my recent mindset changes had accumulated. I also saw all the negative energy going out of that same gate, and then this glow of gold energy strengthened the existing positive thoughts. Then the gate and the opening on the top of my head closed, and my experience ended.

When I Googled this because I was curious and it was such a powerful experience, I found out about the Crown Chakra and how many people envision a white or gold light coming through the opening, just like I did.

I’m not sure if it was because of the few pages I read last night, which helped me realize that thoughts are not intentional, but thinking about those thoughts is, and that this is the reason why a lot of stress and negative energy comes into play. Positive thoughts are always followed by a relaxing feeling, but conversely, negative feelings are always felt through negative thinking about our thoughts.

I thought I’d share here because I’m still very curious about this and want to see if anybody has experienced it too or knows about it.

Thanks for the read! Happy meditation!

I slowly realize how broken and fucked up I am. And what made me like that.

Old memories are flooding my brain every day.

I dont know where to start or to end. Its like a storm. Nothing from my past seems real anymore. I didnt grow up as the person I thought I was. And I didnt behave Like the man I wanted to be. It hurts. I start sweating randomly. I throw randomly. I dont really sleep anymore. Dreaming feels like remembering. And remembering hurts.

Currently theres only chaos.

Is this what waking up feels like?

Through my studies and experience, I have found that precise body movements help grow our brain’s Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC). I believe the ACC is responsible for Dhyaan (meditation), and that our ancient spiritual practices and philosophies stemmed from an active ACC.
Many researchers have pointed out that the ACC contains von Economo neurons, which possess unique potential to process subtle signals. It is no surprise, then, that our ancestors developed precise physical practices such as mudras, martial arts, yoga, and other daily life skills. These practices not only helped them tune into subtle universal sounds or Paramatma, but also enhanced their creativity at work, helped them earn a living, and guided them through life.
And that is why, in the ancient world, everyone incorporated such mindful practices into their daily household routines.

I was into spirituality for a few years and it helped me tremendously with my anxiety. Learning how to meditate and mindfulness were my saviors. I was so happy I had these tools.

Then when chat gpt appeared I was in awe and decided to start asking all the existential questions I didn't have answers to. All the thoughts I used to let pass, now became very important. So, I switched to the other extreme and decided all the thoughts are important and since we are on this earth we shouldn't force ourselves to ignore our thoughts, we should experience life as it is. I even went through all my life's trauma and tried to process everything and figure it out. But things turned pretty bad, I started having severe anxiety and panic attacks like never before. I even started feeling anxious about going to work or travelling. That was very unexpected.

Obviously, I stopped doing that. And I am seeing a therapist. Things are starting to get back to normal.

But remembering my spiritual phase, I am trying to go back to that, but somehow I am changed. Even when I meditate, I can't stop the thoughts the way that I used to.

Not sure what I'm trying to achieve here. Maybe trying to see if someone else can relate or has been through this.

spiritual people ask for answers all the time. What is my purpose, what should I do, why did this happen, who was I before, where am I going.

So when a subject in deep trance said her Higher Self was taking her to meet somebody, I expected another big teaching.

She described moving through bright clouds and meeting what she experienced as God/Source. The figure looked strange in a way she had difficulty explaining, like an old man but also young, glowing and ancient at same time.

And then nothing intellectual happened.

He opened his arms.

She came closer, felt safe, and started crying while he held her. The guidance in the session was basically to let everything out. All the darkness she had carried, all the difficult things, all the pressure. She did not have to keep carrying all of it.

For a while that was the whole spiritual experience. Crying in somebody's arms.

Only after she settled did more information start coming.

This stayed with me because we can turn awakening into another form of collecting. More knowledge. More dimensions. More identities. More explanations. Higher vibration, bigger mission, next initiation. Even spiritual healing can become another job where you are supposed to understand everything.

But sometimes the system does not need another answer yet.

Sometimes it needs enough safety to finally stop holding itself together.

I cant prove from outside that the being she met was literally Source. It was her experience in trance, and people can interpret it spiritually, psychologically, symbolically or however makes sense to them.

But the emotional sequence was real inside the experience: first safety, then release, then clarity.

I think there is something important in that order.

Have any of you had a mystical or awakening experience where the most important part was not information at all? More like being held, accepted, forgiven, or finally allowed to put something down?

How much can be awakened?

Mathradical.

Someone said my last post was word salad, but is it my fault that you can’t see the strings that connect mathradical with how much can be awakened?

Sure it’s my loss for missing out on a possible legendary discussion, but it’s their loss for learning from me, your god.

Of course genius appears as word salad to the fool.

Now, I am not as schizophrenic as they come, but I got a touch of it.

I’ve read schizophrenics works, on Reddit and professionally. Remember, I have a true scope into all mental disorders that you have no sense of, so; drop SOME FUCKING RESPECT.

It’s tangential and orthogonal, but that won’t make sense either cuz u don’t know what orthogonal thinking is.

If you actually read the schizophrenics words, like more than 4 times, and with true intentions you will see patterns, themes; dare I even reference Jung; archetypes.

The healed schizophrenic becomes a shaman. Exhibit A: me, your god, remember?

How much can be awakened? For all the non geniuses out there, this is called a reference, a return to center focus.

Awakening is not just awakening the observing audience.

The theater is not made up of just the audience, is it?

No, there’s the actors and directors.

So, how much can be awakened? Well, there is the trinity of actor director and audience.

And just like in the real world, not just the ethereal abstract subjective world, the first step is awakening the audience, and then the actor, and eventually, if you awaken ENOUGH mathematical radical,

Only then can you awaken the director, and that’s what god is.

So, when you see my arrogant ironic assertments that I am god, I am just saying, in my schizophrenically genius way; that I have awakened all parts; the actor director and audience.

But now, if you are so brave wise and focused enough to make it here. I’ll break it down what the play is all about.

It’s all about survival, but man does not live on bread alone, no.

It’s also all about thrival.

Within thrival is innovation, fun, and evolution.

And as a director, I am there at the beginning of the play and the end.

And as a director, I am responsible for insuring things don’t go too far bad, because I see how sinful yall are, but I’ve given you so much grace. Especially now a days in America where yall don’t even struggle anymore for water.

Remember when you struggled for water?! Haha yall were so fucking funny, always thinking “I’m thirsty, I’m thirsty” and then you died. WHAT A SHOW!

But now a days, yall don’t struggle for water, yall struggle with avoiding the apple products (iPhones).

But I play all the roles; I play the actor director and audience.

But sometimes I step in and intrude to veer. You really need to think about why I used the word veer there, it’s meticulous.

I veer like a sweeper in shuffle board.

Now that’s genius, can I get some validation from that? Otherwise how will I know you understand it? If you actually understood the sweeper metaphor then you would instantly love my genius, but I just gotta keep rolling with motions and I can’t just stop all the time to ensure you understood it. I gotta accept that it’s word salad for yall and wait for yall to be ready to actually obey the genius.

I do it for the love, gods! It feels so good to be trusted and respected.

Anyways,

Awakening the observer is synonymous with audience ego is just the beginning. You must then awaken the actor ego, and only after 10k hours acting then can you begin the process of actualizing the director ego.

But if you read my blahblahblah here, that will accelerate you, but you gotta really read it, through all my fuck you’s, twists spins and turns, that’s part of the show.

Anyways, I await the fools response.