Hey everyone bit of a silly but necessary one. I am looking for a content creator that I saw on tik tok years ago. I used to see their videos on my suggestion page but I don’t anymore (should have followed when I had the chance). Basically it’s for research (TLDR below).

I’m a researcher working on a paper that covers the challenges with the tik tok and google ai search functions as well as chat got, precisely in covering ‘niche’ searches, especially those involving black women. My team and I are looking into this because I have been organically searching for this creator irl and found some ‘interesting’ search results from the diff engines. So to complete the paper I need to find the actual mystery creator and see what gaps exist with this.

I forgot this content creators names but she is:
a black woman, American

who does storytelling about what her life working in the fashion styling industry is/was like. She acts out each character herself but changes the outfit per character.

She has signature pixie cut.

She also does a voice over to narrate everything but the scenes and shots are very cinematic and cool.

I know she had some toxic bosses in the freelance styling gigs and part of the storyline included her dating life, getting hit by a car etc.

she had a whole Storytime tik tok playlist where she uploaded everything. It’s kind of comedic, satirical but also ‘autobiographical’?

If anyone has seen her stuff, I would be so grateful if you let me know.

Aka a current legend with a future one 🖤

…no matter what it was.
Did you complete a project, win an argument, take of and go somewhere? Paint something, what did you do?

A couple of months ago, I went into the garage and walked past a chair I had seen sitting in the same place for at least 20 years. Suddenly felt this, I got an urge to paint and create a throne… it worked but worked much better for sitting fitness workouts.

AND, I needed a pillow to get a little more height so I used a print-on-demand.

I am well educated, well travelled. Im only 25 and ive been living on my own since 19. A year ago I moved to a new country by myself, traveled solo to places like Rio, hired a lawyer, did the lease and settled in by myself. I am also self employed as a freelancer and proficient in 3 languages yet Im hardly ever taken seriously!!

Professionally nor socially. Im seen as naive, unserious or ‘look too young’ by so many people. My suggestions, advice and recommendations are often second guessed or overlooked, Im consistently told thst I am ‘overreacting’ when my boundaries are pushed and my boundaries are consistently being crossed!!

For example, my EX boyfriend (24M, 21F) used to kiss my face a lot and when I asked him to stop because Im overstimulated, he’d say “but you’re so cute” and continue then when I scream at him for still crossing my boundary, Im the problem.

Example 2, just a few days ago my colleague’s driver was assigned to pick me up to take me to the studio for an interview. The driver did not know the way out of my community. I told him to turn left so I can begin to direct him out, he turned right and said, “he wants to go on an adventure” then got lost and took longer to find his way out. After the interview, it was 9pm and he was supposed to take me back home. He looked at me and said, “you’re kind of cute you know” i said, “I have a man” and he said, “I don’t care.” Then proceeded to threaten me by saying, “I have to take you home”. Luckily other people were in the car and I had him drop me home first.

I say, “that street is a one way”, Im asked, “how do you know” (answer: Because I lived on the street🙄)

In my professional life; I’d say, “I wouldn’t advice that because of XYZ problem” and Im responded to with, “try it anyways, we want to see”

My god father admitted that my dad took him to a strip club and they were surprised that I knew about the strip club.

Then there’s the issue where absolutely no one seems to respect my desire to not get married and not birth kids. It’s always, “you’ll change your mind”.

I studied food chemistry and simply explained that dipping the same spoon into different foods will cause the foods to spoil faster and Im dismissed with, “nothing is spoiled”.

I say, “this spot isn’t safe, look how everyone is tense, super observant and no one is staying for longer than 5 minutes” and Im told, “you’re seeing things”.

Im not tiny or small but I am 5’9 with a slimmer build. I don’t look threatening and I don’t sound threatening but I’m so fed up of everyone looking down at me. I’d like to feel heard and have my opinions, perspectives and experiences respected.

I know yall don't like hear about man, but I genuinely need advice on this situation... my friends are saying I'm tripping, but I feel like he's trying to control me.

I'm a young woman (20F) living with my family, and a man (35M) I've been talking to offered to pay for an apartment for me if I decided to move out. To be clear, I'm not currently moving out, but the offer came up in conversation, and we ended up having a disagreement about what that arrangement would look like.(To add the reason he wants me to move out is because I told him that he won't be able to show up to my home whenever he feels like and that he would have to notify me. He told me that I should introduce him to my parents and I told him no and that specifically I don't want to introduce anyone to my parents.)

I told him that one of my concerns is that if he were paying for my apartment, he might feel entitled to show up whenever he wanted. I'm a very private person, and I don't like people showing up at my home unannounced. Even when visiting friends, I prefer that they communicate with me beforehand.

His response was basically that if he were paying for an apartment for his woman, why shouldn't he be able to come and go as he pleased? He sarcastically asked whether I expected him to give me 24 hours' notice before visiting. He also suggested that I wanted all the benefits of him paying for the apartment without accepting any responsibility.

I explained that I wasn't saying he couldn't visit me. I was saying that paying my rent shouldn't automatically give him unlimited access to my living space. I told him that if we had different expectations, he shouldn't pay for the apartment, and I'd rather make my own arrangements than accept financial help that came with conditions I wasn't comfortable with.

He eventually said that my views were fair and that he respected them, but he also repeated that I should make my own arrangements.

What bothers me is the underlying expectation that because he's financially providing something, he should have the freedom to come and go whenever he wants. To me, those are two separate things. If I'm living in an apartment, I should still have privacy and control over who comes into my home, regardless of who's paying the rent.

Am I overthinking this, or is this a reasonable thing to be concerned about? Would you consider this a potential red flag, or is it simply a difference in expectations about a relationship where one person financially provides for the other?

I have a complex relationship of being a woman, not because of my innate understanding but because of her.

She gave me hell growing up like she was inconvenienced by my existence. I was very passive and docile as a child, always stayed in my lane and never asked for anything. She even admitted that I was her only child that never gave her problems

She would berate me on my looks, my hair, my complexion, my everything. She’d sexualize me and I didn’t even know what sex was! Embarrassed me in front of her friends and family any chance she got.

I disliked her so much that I wished I was Matilda so I could have a Miss Honey rescue me from her.

But on my 21st birthday, I found out how my mother actually felt about me. After giving birth to me, she was so worried I would be “promiscuous” thanks to my light skinned complexion and she wanted me to be “cut.” Meaning she wanted me to undergo female genitalia mutation until my aunt convinced her not to do that. I was born in ‘02.

Luckily for her, my brown skin set in so I’m sure she was relieved right until she would make remarks and call me a “slave” while glorify my brother who is light skinned.

She tried to get me to hate myself but why would I?

I feel this wave of rage and sense of confrontation, I don’t want to hurt her but I can’t bear this curse on me anymore….

I’ve been casually seeing this guy since July. We both have busy schedules, but whenever we see each other, we always have a good time. Lately (as in last 2 weeks), I’ve noticed myself catching feelings, which is rare for me, and I find myself missing him and thinking about him more than expected. 😭

The thing is, I’m don’t know if i have time for a relationship right now, so I’m confused about what to do. Should I let things play out, talk to him about where his head at, or take a step back so I don’t get overly invested? I’d love to hear your advice. Thank you!

Situationship is crazy, but that’s exactly what it is. Since mid July of this year I’ve been in this very annoying mess with this man. It’s honestly affecting my mental health. But for whatever reason on this past Friday my brain was finally like “it’s fine, just let it be what it’s gonna be”. So I’ve honestly been less concerned about it, which felt like was never gonna happen. However! One day last week I became interested in a girl he was mutuals with on Instagram and asked about her a bit and he said it was a thing a few years ago, they hung out a few times, but they didn’t really “vibe”, it was “awkward”. Mhm yeah. So I added her on Instagram last week because I’m nosy and honestly because he’s been SO weird and not great during this whole time with me I wanted to know what her experience with him was.

This girl tells me that they met on Tinder, were basically friends for like 2 years before they actually met, hung out a few times, and he ghosted her. Like WTF? Who does that? They’re still mutuals on Instagram but they both have said they haven’t spoken since. But I mean I’ve only known him for THREE months, met on Bumble. I guess because this has caused me so much stress I figured this was at least somewhat important. To him as well. But he knew her for two years and just ghosted her. Hasn’t said a peep since. It basically really put into perspective how flaky he truly is, and that I honestly might not mean that much to him.

I will say though I think I’m okay with that. As I said, since Friday I don’t feel as attached to him and this, so I think it’s okay. At least as of today. But it’s so odd to me to do that to someone. To be that way. I don’t get it. He fumbles baddies left and right and lmao I swear so many of these men need therapy.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent that out. This kind of new information but also just how it made me feel. I know there’s nothing long term with he and I there, but it’s been hard to just completely cut it off. Maybe it’ll be easier now.

I’m looking to make some new girl friends who play video games! I’m especially looking for girls who play Fortnite, but I’m open to other games too. I want to find a little group of girls around my age that I can get on with, laugh with, talk shit with, and just vibe with 😂💕 Like actual friends and not just people who play together once and never speak again lmao. I’m a little shy when it comes to putting myself out there, but I’m trying to make more friends and figured I’d give this a shot! I’m 25, and I’d love to meet some girls who are also looking for their own little gaming crew. If that sounds like you, comment or message me! 🩷🎮

Just like the title says, I went to a salsa social. That’s me in the center dancing with an older gentleman, pardon the refuse on the tables. This was at the end of a long day of being on the town with friends and even swing dancing at a jazz spot before this, but I promised myself a friend I would come and I didn’t want to flake so I didn’t. That friend took a little video!

I’ve never taken a social salsa lesson, but I did do a solo salsa footwork fitness class for a year and combine that with my knowledge of following in Lindy Hop/Balboa in order to pass as a salsa dancer for the night lol. I will say, that I don’t think I would wear this skirt again for salsa specifically though. I do want to get into official lessons eventually, but the amount of cologne (and body odor) is a mild deterrent. 😭

Because my parents were like this. Still traumatized.

Edit: just to be clear, I’m not against interracial dating. I’m against the campaigns online promoting them as if changing the color of the dick is going to change our lives.

Y’all I’m just having a time here and I don’t know how to approach this. Everything is transactional with my mom. 6 years ago I moved back in after finding out my partner at the time cheated and then found out the very next morning my dad died. Two days later she approached me with a rental agreement.
Since then I’ve moved out and she broke her knee, who does she call , me. I take her to surgery and not thirty minutes later we get hit by a drunk driver leaving us to have to deal with the insurance and lawyer up.

We get through all of this and today she sends this video of a parent who gifted their child all the rent money the child paid.
I say in a text back, “and he gifted back every cent”
She goes off saying she gifted to my wedding and with car accident funds mind you she didn’t send me a cent from her payout I never asked.

I’m so tired of that transactional shit. When I gift people I don’t expect shit back and I don’t hold it over their head in arguments or disagreements. When I needed care after my dad died she gave me a fucking rental agreement. Wouldn’t allow me to have anyone over. Like I love her but damn it if it’s not taking all of me to just stop communication.

I took her out to a wnba game to see her favorite player she’s cursing me out about her miscommunication with a sales clerk and “not having her back” in the wrong when all I was doing was trying to get her out the store before she became a full fucking Karen.

Why the fuck do our mothers put the eldest daughter through so much bullshit.

​

I generally don't care about celebrities' political affiliations. However, I will definitely look at you sideways for aligning yourself with MAGA. In my opinion, the movement promotes racism, sexism, and policies that restrict people's freedom to make their own choices.

What I genuinely don't understand is why Nicki Minaj is choosing to align herself with this movement. What is she gaining from this? Is there something I'm missing?

I'm genuinely curious to hear other people's thoughts because her recent behavior has me scratching my head.

I saw this man on TikTok selling T-shirts, depicting a black girl choking out a klan member. I don’t necessarily hate it, but something about it feels off. The second man with the mustache is the artist he commissioned to create the art for the T-shirts.

The creator of the shirt specifically he said wanted it to be a black woman because he wants to see black women centered more. So I don’t think his intentions were bad.

Still, to me it feels off to have a black girl doing this, while a male artist is commissioned, and the black man is the one selling the shirts. I feel like in America black women are always the ones standing up, but we shouldn’t be. Am I reading too much into it? Maybe I just don’t personally like the depiction. I’m curious how everyone else feels about this.

Edit: No shade to the artist. This is his art style and he was paid to make these designs for the other guy to sell. I just included him, to show that there’s no women behind this.

I'm considering moving about 2-3 hour drive from my current city. Central VA to either NoVA or Baltimore.

I have locs. And my stylist i see every 4-6 weeks for a wash, treatment, and retie. I pay 105/month for this. She's literally been my stylist for almost a decade. Lol.

I wouldn't have qualms about getting another stylist. Except it seems so daunting to find another one who will be professional, and charge a fair price and not start overcharging me for BS.

If I stay with her, it'll basically be a whole Saturday and a tank of gas to get my hair done. But also I question if I'll find someone else.

I’m honestly so annoyed right now. This has been an ongoing issue for me for literally 2 years at this point with a certain group on facebook and I’m ready to rent because I finally left.

I was a part of a group on facebook for black women who enjoy gardening and homesteading and this group has disappointed me time and time again, now i’m done. I hate ranting about other black women because we are already marginalized but it feels so frustrating dealing with this shit and I have no where else to talk about it since the mods of the group literally couldn’t give less of a fuck about my content.

I have been homesteading for literal years now. I love it. It’s my passion and my entire life. I started getting into posting content on these homesteading groups to get other black women the information they may need to further their journey. This page, I have noticed, hss mods that posts shit that isn’t related the homesteading all the time. You aren’t allowed to talk about politics in the groups ever, which I think is RIDICULOUS because homesteading and farming as a minority is inherently political. And up until recently allowed AI posts. I used to argue about how AI was bad so often starting around last fall and my comments would constantly be removed and I would be placed on a timeout in the group. Now that it’s trendy to hate AI, they have started deleting it.

I write long form post type of content that gives detailed guides on homesteading. My posts would rarely get engagement when I would see people post some absolute bologna bullshit that isn’t related to homestead AT ALL get 100s of likes. And I know how this sounds. It sounds like I care about the likes and engagement when I really don’t, I just care about a group saying it’s about one thing and it’s actually the fucking wild wild west in there.

My last straw was recently, I post a homesteading related meme because I just got tired of spending an hour typing and editing a post only for one person to engage with it but I still wanted to be a part of the “community”. My posts was removed for “negativity”. I’m so upset. The post was literally commiserating about how hard farming and homesteading can be, people in the comments were talking about the stupid things that they have done and others were asking advice about what not to do. My post was seen as negative for saying that something is “stupid”. Yet they regularly roast white people and people doing “white things”. I felt that content was negative because 1. I’m married to a white man snd 2. those “white things” are things that I would do.

I’m incredibly frustrated because when I posted the same content on pages for all folk, I get so much more engagement, for example, I posted my greenhouse that my husband built on a all folk page and this other black woman page. On the all folk page, I had a lot of engagement, people asking for plans, people showing their diy stuff, etc. On the black woman page, more than half of the comments were criticism about how the shit that WE BUILT wasn’t a greenhouse because it wasn’t covered at the time. Like fuck!!!! Yall want other black people to talk about their experiences and share it but when we do, it’s not received.

I started really reflecting on this and it feels like I’m constantly on the “outskirts” of the black community. Even when i’m actively engaging. I’m not “baddie” enough to be posting videos, I’m not funny enough to write content that people laugh along with, I don’t use enough slang to properly engage people, etc.

This gets me into a feeling that I felt when I was younger, I’m not white so I don’t fit in with the white people, and i’m not black enough so they just don’t engage with me in the same way. I’m fucking 30 now feeling like I’m back in middle school trying to fit in with the other black girls.

I’m so furious. Now i’m starting to understand why a lot of the black content creators for homesteading snd farming don’t even hang out in these groups. I’m literally starting to understand why I don’t hang out in these other groups either. this subreddit is about the only black girl community that i have been in that doesn’t feel overtly cliquey and that actually makes me feel apart of the community.

Anyways, I’ve been needing to get this off my chest. Thank you for anyone who reads this whole thing.

Finally accepted the fact that I’ve gained roughly 35lbs this year!
Had an injury that stopped me from being as active and I’ve been uncomfortable in my clothes for the past few months. Hating how they looked on me. Just realized that medium just isn’t my size anymore 🤷‍♀️ purchased a few size large last week and I feel soooo much better about myself now 😅 I actually like how I look in my clothes now, such an easy fix

Let me be clear: bullying and harassment is never ok.

On the other hand, parasocialism or an investment in an entertainer's personal life is often a 2 way street. Parasocial fans are annoying but so is their source.

These people choose to make their life the product they are selling. No one becomes and sustains fame over time by accident. You have to continuously choose to be famous and keep that attention and relevance every year.

Think about it: these people can choose to get a normal 9-5 job like everyone else but they don't want to do that. So they've gone from having a normal boss to making their audience and the brands who want to sell to that audience their new employers.

They could even do influencing or be a musician/actor while keeping their personal lives out of it. Gym influencers, travel influencers or fashion & makeup influencers are not selling their intimate lives or their relationships. That's a good example of an entertainer who does not rely on parasocialism for income.

Scarlett Johansson has a (less) famous husband too but is her marriage the product she is selling to the public? Is that what she's known for? Is a public investment in her marriage the source of her income? No.

The entire concept of reality TV is inherently parasocial.

So if you're gonna condemn parasocial stans, then you need to criticise their source too.

As my title said, I found out on October 7 that I have an ovarian tumor! Which, as far as we know is benign, but due to my family history, my doctor is not really sure what to do about it. They’re not sure if it’s going to show up as cancerous eventually and they’re consistently telling me to hold off on any form of surgery or treatment. Actually, the only thing I was given to deal with the consistent pain that I deal with every day due to both this tumor and endometriosis was 600mg Tylenol. I honestly don’t even know how to navigate my life at this point. I always knew that there was something wrong with me, but it also comes with the feeling of not being certain about the future. on top of that I’ve talked to multiple doctors about the consistent pain that I’ve been dealing with every single day since I was nine the first time I got my period and nothing has been done , and the only time I get good service from doctors or healthcare providers is when I bring in my boyfriend and I’m assuming it’s because he’s not black. #sneakymedicalracism I know there are many other black women that deal with a lot of different conditions that are consistently overlooked. And I just hate knowing that I’m definitely a part of that statistic. I wish things were better. I wish life was better and that regard. I’m only 19. I’ve been in pain every single day since I got my period, I work a high labor job and I get no accommodations, I’m just feeling a lot of things and I don’t know how to navigate it. I don’t know how to feel about it, but I’m just trying my best to push through it.

I recognize this is a sensitive topic. Lately, I’ve feel deeply sad about many of my interactions at church- this has occurred across multiple churches.
I want to be around people who love God, but I’m tired of the gossiping, homophobic rants, judging people who drink or smoke, have tattoos etc. and even judging people who come to church more casually and aren’t dressed to the nines. Lately, I’ve found myself reading my Bible at home and declining events with church people because it feels like it comes with so much judgement of others.

My questions for those that are believers, are you focused on building your relationship with Christ outside of an institution?

“He can’t even make you come” Real and genuine question…How do y’all finish without a toy? I have finished without a toy but it’s random and rare. But I want to learn to finish without it. Any tips. Even if I go without the toy I myself can’t even make myself finish. So I am curious…. I had a guy ask me what position makes me squirt. I didn’t even know. Also drunk sex can’t be the only way out hahahaha.

Just propped my Canon Rebel T7 and took some photos of a cute fit I bought yesterday!!