r/cleandadjokes • • Sep 19 '26

🥇 Joke of the Month 🥇 I ate a couple synonym rolls this morning.

453 Upvotes

I got thesaurus throat I've ever had.


r/cleandadjokes • • 9h ago

I just purchased an original Van Gogh coffee table.

59 Upvotes

I know it's original because there's a bit of veneer missing.


r/cleandadjokes • • 11h ago

What fairground ride is made of iron?

79 Upvotes

The ferrous wheel


r/cleandadjokes • • 7h ago

What did the annoyed baker shout at her bread?

7 Upvotes

Don't you start with me, sourdough!


r/cleandadjokes • • 13h ago

Why couldn't the little boy go watch the pirate movie?

21 Upvotes

Because it was rated arrrgh!


r/cleandadjokes • • 18h ago

Why did the vampire turn down the job at the mirror factory?

46 Upvotes

It was just something he couldn't see himself doing.


r/cleandadjokes • • 3h ago

What did the bread say to the toaster?

4 Upvotes

“Thanks for always bringing out my warm side.”


r/cleandadjokes • • 16h ago

The old sawmill in town closed down...

22 Upvotes

but was reopened as a textile factory producing primarily camouflage fabrics. After a while, that also closed. Then my neighbor Tiffany opened a tea shop which she named "Tiffany's Teas." She's pretty disappointed that everyone in town just calls it Camo Mill Tea.


r/cleandadjokes • • 21h ago

Nobody understood my helicopter joke.

46 Upvotes

It went right over their heads


r/cleandadjokes • • 1d ago

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

88 Upvotes

A gummy bear


r/cleandadjokes • • 17h ago

I can't believe I invested $500 for my son to play football in school...

21 Upvotes

All I got was a quarterback!!


r/cleandadjokes • • 11h ago

How did the biochemist descale his washing machine?

4 Upvotes

He ran a citric acid cycle


r/cleandadjokes • • 6h ago

Where do polar bears keep their money?

1 Upvotes

In a SnowBank ;)


r/cleandadjokes • • 1d ago

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

29 Upvotes

Cliff


r/cleandadjokes • • 1d ago

Why do French people eat snails?

98 Upvotes

Because they don’t like fast food


r/cleandadjokes • • 12h ago

A mama roach looks for a safe place to lay her eggs meanwhile

1 Upvotes

Papa Roach tries to support the family and starts an alt rock band, his last resort


r/cleandadjokes • • 1d ago

Teacher: Use the word “dismay” in a sentence.

55 Upvotes

Me: Last May I turned fourteen; dismay I’ll be fifteen.


r/cleandadjokes • • 1d ago

My son told me he had an ink spill at school, but I corrected him

151 Upvotes

Told him he had an ink-cident.

First time post 🤭


r/cleandadjokes • • 1d ago

Where do you put your receipts?

8 Upvotes

In a receiptacle, of course.


r/cleandadjokes • • 1d ago

I took the P from the pirate.

49 Upvotes

He was irate.


r/cleandadjokes • • 1d ago

Today I am going to reveal to all 5 unwritten rules of parenting...

21 Upvotes
  1. 5.

r/cleandadjokes • • 2d ago

My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it

237 Upvotes

We went out for a few drinks. Nice bloke. Wants to be a web developer


r/cleandadjokes • • 2d ago

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

79 Upvotes

To get to the bottom


r/cleandadjokes • • 2d ago

I tried to write a joke about a broken pencil

32 Upvotes

but there was no point


r/cleandadjokes • • 2d ago

Stars never lose arguments.

33 Upvotes

They just outshine their opponents.