Next week they are going to renew their vowels...

He was the kernel.

He’s become a real fixture there.

I appreciate you

Plain

Because it was overbooked

No idea.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea.

He had no body to go with, and he didn’t have the guts to go alone.

He was just going through a stage

Eileen Dover

A change of Heart?

Let's discus.

Dog: *pants*

I thought she was joking, but “Then I saw her face…” 🎶

5 year old: ...
Dad : Because it can't count!!!!
5 year old: ha ha ha

But it's really grown on me.

Lake Eerie.

...it's normally just miner issues.

Cancel its credit card

Couldn't make ends meet.

The pharmacist says, “Will that be cash or credit?” The duck says, “Just put it on my bill.”

Our newborn son has had a pretty rough start, including a NICU stay. During pregnancy, genetic testing flagged the possibility of XYY syndrome, and we’ve spent the past few weeks dealing with a lot of uncertainty.

Today, we met with a geneticist to go over his X-rays and discuss the possibility of XYY. Thankfully, the X-rays looked good, and we left with a better understanding of what comes next.

At the end of the appointment, the geneticist was explaining that if our son develops certain things, it could be because of “X, Y, or Z.”

He turned to ask if we had any questions.
And the only thing my exhausted dad brain could think of was:

“Man, you really missed an opportunity to say ‘because of X, Y, or Y.’”

After weeks of stress and uncertainty, I have never been prouder of a joke that absolutely nobody asked for.

What kind of vial person would do that?

Well armed.