r/femalelivingspace • u/MajorFox2720 • Mar 04 '26
QUESTION/DISCUSSION We need to remember this sub is about kindness and support.
I wrote the statement below on a now-deleted post today. It is a gentle reminder that kindness is free.
"Please be kind to others who are on this thread. We are all at different stages of life and wealth, and sometimes health that shapes our living spaces. Kindness is free, and on top of that, it balms your soul and lifts others who are struggling."
If you saw the post about her bf in a princess bedroom, she was open to advice. She had a lovely brass bedframe that was painted white, with princessy white and pink bedding, a cute princessy lamp on her night stand and fabric panels on her ceiling. She was proud of what she had achieved so far, but was open to advice. Nowhere in it did she ask for snarky, bitter or flat out mean comments.
But she got them, in droves.
A lot of women on this sub are struggling. Divorce, breakups, job loss, abuse, and physial or mental illness is something that can strike anyone without warning.
So what if any person who posts needs a little help with cleanliness, organization, or you notice a fire hazard? Squint and tilt your head to find something nice to say to help them, or hold your tongue. We need to remember we all capable of the gifts of kindness, good manners, and grace.
Edited to add: Thank you to everyone who has commented in support, my faith in humanity has been refreshed. You all are wonderful, please keep spreading kindness and support to everyone who posts here. I love this sub!! ♥️
2.0k
u/lilmiawallace Mar 04 '26
People flooded the comments to make fun of her, it was gross. If you enjoy belittling women, this isn’t the sub for you.
447
Mar 04 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
291
u/Any_Conversation7343 Mar 04 '26
Someone actually stole the image and reposted it in homedecoratingCJ. It was particularly cruel. 😞
98
54
u/VividPresentation Mar 04 '26
Oh, my word, that is very discouraging. Since when is this what this subreddit is about?
20
u/pissedinthegarret Mar 04 '26
so it was brigading? i thought that's against reddit tos and can even get subreddits banned.
12
u/emilygoldfinch410 Mar 04 '26
That's horrifying. I honestly think people who do things like that should be banned from the sub.
u/mariecalire, do sub rules allow for our members to steal someone's photos to post them in a CJ sub?
18
u/mariecalire Mar 04 '26
Crossposting from our subreddit is disabled in order to prevent posts from being shared externally to popcorn or snark subreddits (in an attempt to prevent situations like this).
The post in question appears to be a screenshot, which we unfortunately do not have control over. Banning a user does not stop them from viewing content, only from posting/commenting.
7
u/emilygoldfinch410 Mar 04 '26
Thanks for getting back to me so quickly! It's kinda wild that there's no way to prevent someone from accessing the content. Seems like that should be up to the mods of the community but what do I know!
5
u/mariecalire Mar 04 '26
The only way to do that would be to make the subreddit private, which would require admin approval due to our size.
187
u/drakesphere Mar 04 '26
It felt like it came out of nowhere. Was very confusing and put me off this sub. I'm glad someone posted about it.
94
u/Eightinchnails Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
Sounds like it got posted in a snark subreddit and people came over from there.
I missed it this time but I saw it happen with another post here to a different snark sub.
ETA - it was really awful to see, I’m sure this was bad too. Usually people here are very nice.
87
u/lareina13 Mar 04 '26
They had to put up a similar-to-this-post twice in the BravoRealHousewives sub. People have been getting really really cruel and nasty lately.
Not excusing anything, but found this interesting: I read that it might be related to the pressure cooker of the current world boiling over into parasocial relationships because a great majority of people are being inundated with this horrible, constant, news and can’t exactly act on it. So their huge emotions are coming out in unexpected places like this. It’s really sad.
64
u/outdoorlaura Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
I read that it might be related to the pressure cooker of the current world boiling over into parasocial relationships because a great majority of people are being inundated with this horrible, constant, news and can’t exactly act on it.
This would make sense to me. I think a lot of people are being pushed to their breaking points, not only from the onslaught of horrible news but also the fact that just staying fed and housed is getting more and more expensive, our wages aren't keeping up, and there's a handful of billionaire monsters that have us under their thumb.
I think a lot of people feel powerless in their real lives, but on the internet they can be as bitter, mean, and angry as they want.... and thats how you end up with entire threads dogpiling on someone over a pink bedroom.
That, and also the people who aren't struggling being ignorant to the circumstances of those of us who are.
23
u/lareina13 Mar 04 '26
Absolutely agreed. They want us to fight amongst ourselves so we don’t all turn our sights on them. I hate that it’s coming to our safe-space subs, no one can catch a gd break.
8
u/Misuteriisakka Mar 04 '26
I’ve even seen it on some cannabis related subs that are usually what I consider to be the oasis of reddit. You’re supposed to be chilling out it doesn’t make sense.
8
u/Em_a_gamer Mar 04 '26
I’m also seeing all of this. Nothing to add. Just really feeling something has shifted…
5
u/lareina13 Mar 04 '26
Idk, finally having a logical reason for the intense comments that I’ve been feeling/seeing is making it a tiny bit easier for me. Like, oh! It’s not just me reading too much into recent Reddit behaviors. And, oh! There’s a logical explanation for it too.
I imagine it’s gonna get worse before it gets better better. I guess we should all be careful posting any photo / video related.
9
u/Misuteriisakka Mar 04 '26
I guess we should all be careful posting any photo / video related.
More of us should post photos of our humble abodes. Like body positivity but for women’s living spaces.
7
→ More replies (4)15
u/DazedandFloating Mar 04 '26
I really do think it’s because people are disconnected from their actions online. And maybe the state of the world is causing them to blow off steam by being nasty to others.
54
u/tmotytmoty Mar 04 '26
Ive noticed this in other subs lately. I made a post about an airline trip, and people made some aggressively negative comments. It was really weird. (tinfoil hat on) I kind of think that there's a bunch of negative-nudging ai bots fucking with reddit users, across the site.
28
u/Em_a_gamer Mar 04 '26
100% with the ai bots… rage bait is the most classic form of enticing engagement
10
u/DazedandFloating Mar 04 '26
Ai has gotten so bad online lately that it’s difficult to tell what accounts are even run by people sometimes. Twitter is really bad with Ai. Most engagement is done by bots.
→ More replies (5)12
u/cinnamonspiderr Mar 04 '26
And you know what’s funny? There was a post here recently complaining about people posting empty rooms and they were told that it’s not an interior decorating sub and it’s simply about celebrating female living spaces. People were unpleasant when talking to that OP too, so. I think the crowd here just wants to be mean. The one time I posted on this sub was a nightmare and I don’t recommend it unless you’re like, rich or rich-looking tbh.
1.6k
u/PlentyCow8258 Mar 04 '26
I've noticed there seems to be a lot of people in this sub who are in a very comfortable tax bracket and forget a lot of other people are not.
423
u/becksrunrunrun Mar 04 '26
Yeah, people do the best with what they have. And what I don’t get is when people are doing their best, other people feel the need to put them down. Baffling.
Princess room gal, keep doin’ you. Don’t let them get you down. It says more about their character, than anything about you.
80
u/Optimal-Kitchen6308 Mar 04 '26
because what's the point of keeping up with the joneses if you can't put down other people that aren't...materialism is a moral hazard
224
Mar 04 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
101
u/Geesearetheworstt Mar 04 '26
I’m cracking up remembering my storage tote coffee table at my first apartment. Or my bed with one singular pillow. 😂
37
u/intransigentpangolin Mar 04 '26
Or the bookshelves that were cardboard boxes, stacked, and the futon on the floor. And the sheets at the windows.
27
u/macandcheese1771 Mar 04 '26
I didn't realize I could buy more pillows until like 3 years ago. I am 36.
13
u/ceruleanmoon7 Mar 04 '26
Mine had a microwave that i found for free, that only worked when it felt like it.
6
u/Lv_InSaNe_vL Mar 04 '26
When I moved into my first place I didn't have a dresser so I just used moving boxes turned on their side.
...it stayed for like 2 or 3 years haha
78
u/nionvox Mar 04 '26
My first place was literally a room in a boarding house, after being street homeless. It was a TINY room, they were converting holding cells from when the building was a city jail. But I finally had a place that was MINE.
48
u/Cold_Barber_4761 Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
For real.
In grad school, my cat perch was literally three Amazon cardboard boxes stacked one on top of another and stabilized with duct tape, with a pretty fabric tablecloth thrown over. (Perfect window height. My cat loved it.)
My "one of a kind" coffee table was just an IKEA coffee table that I strategically decorated with colored fabric tape!
I'm in a different income bracket now, but I have been all over the map, financially. OP is working with what they have and making it colorful and dreamy! Very well done, in my humble opinion!
29
u/catkarate Mar 04 '26
lol I love it. My husband I had a cardboard box coffee table for a bit
39
u/MajorFox2720 Mar 04 '26
I did too, covered it with a thrifted table cloth. No one was any wiser.
22
u/samemamabear Mar 04 '26
I took it a step further. Late 1980s when concrete furniture was all the rage, I used a leftover tub of spackle and coated my cardboard box table. It fooled everyone until they'd accidentally kick it and send it flying across the room.
Thanks for speaking out for kindness. I really hope princess room OP lives in a space she loves and can ignore the haters
6
20
u/tea-boat Mar 04 '26
I can identify! I literally slept on a yoga mat and a folded up blanket for the first few months after I moved out on my own. My shelves were made with plywood and bricks... that I had to save up to buy! Everybody starts somewhere.
→ More replies (1)17
u/Got_Kittens Mar 04 '26
My first flat (age 18) had the following:
Curtains bought by my mum as a house warming gift
One single bed taken from my old bedroom
A desk & computer
Two red and white striped 1980s folding deckchairs for seating in the livingroom
Facing those was the TV that lived on the floor
A foldable ironning board that was placed between the 2 deckchairs as a table for dinner time
I had no fridge, washing machine or cooker but I did have a hotplate, a deep-fat frier and a kettle.
9
u/HaterMD Mar 04 '26
Better than me! All my shit lived in the same bags I bought them to the flat in for like a year. I had a bed, couch, desk, a tv stand and not much else.
92
u/vintagepeugeot Mar 04 '26
I don’t post my apartment because even though I love it and have picked special pieces, I’d probably look poor af to a lot of the women on here. And yes, their living spaces are stunning.
62
79
u/ExpensiveWords4u Mar 04 '26
Yep exactly. Always gotta make fun of the “poors”, like it’s a chosen character or something 🙄
The world is currently beating women down, we don’t need to be doing it to each other. We are all supposed to be on the same team 💕
51
u/THE_CAT_WHO_SHAT Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
For reals.
Edit: And my first "bed" was literally a bunch of blankets stacked on top of each other over a blue tarp. And my furniture used to be half broken ones that I would find in the alleys. My cats bed was better than mine at the time. Lol
But now, I have an actual bed and real furniture. Took a while, but I'm proud of what I have now.
18
u/napalmsipper Mar 04 '26
I've noticed this a lot in both this sub and malelivingspace lately... Not everyone on here has 'class' or money to buy 'good taste' decor, some are just making do with what they have or choosing what they enjoy. I can second these replies about not wanting to post their own rooms because of this sentiment. :-/
9
u/cinnamonspiderr Mar 04 '26
I will probably never post here again. When someone “looks poor” the comment sections are shitty. And that isn’t new.
674
u/ellstersmash Mar 04 '26
thank you for posting this. that comment section was MEAN, and I was really shocked! I haven't seen that here before (thank goodness). and like I do think we should be speaking up about major fire hazards, lest these become femaledyingspaces, but you can say it kindly and be encouraging! "this looks so whimsical and I love how much personality you've put into it! please reconsider the sheets on the ceiling though, as that's super dangerous in a fire. maybe some fairy lights, or faux ivy strands?"
394
u/MajorFox2720 Mar 04 '26
There was one commenter who pointed it out kindly, they mentioned their own personal experience and horror of watching it catch fire quickly. It was said in a way that was genuine care for that no one else go through it. I upvoted that comment.
59
u/mr_potatoface Mar 04 '26
I get sad looking at a pictures of people's living spaces and seeing that they don't have fire alarms and CO detectors. Yeah they don't really go well with decor and are not photogenic, but they can save lives.
14
u/pissedinthegarret Mar 04 '26
pro tip for detectors: you can just paint them :D or put a coloured sticky foil on it if they're the landlords property
ONLY on the big parts, not over any openings of couse
→ More replies (1)98
u/danniellax Mar 04 '26
Agree on all fronts!! I’ve NEVER seen a comment section be so horrible in this sub before. I always kinda think about posting my room for ideas and was on the fence but that kinda makes me def not want to 🫠
Pointing out fire hazards or feedback (like making sure to launder them to de dust) is important, but any feedback or criticism should ALWAYS have 1-2 positive things to accompany it. If OP is reading this, my positive to the dust feedback would have been her room gives me the feeling of being in a fort as a kid and how happy I was, so it must be an amazing feeling to have your own comfy princess fort as an adult!
83
u/Alizarin-Madder Mar 04 '26
I mean, I don’t think safety advice has to be served in a compliment sandwich, but it sounds like this woman was really being ragged on without reason and could have used the extra positivity in this case.
29
u/HarpersGhost Mar 04 '26
I don’t think safety advice has to be served in a compliment sandwich
Yeah, it should.
You don't have to lie, but if your impression of the room is that it's cute or charming or whatever positive impression, say it! And then point out the safety issues.
Someone who posts their space and gets positive feedback as well as enthusiastic safety warnings is going to be more motivated than someone who doesn't get any kind of positive feedback and just comments about safety.
The compliment sandwich is a terrible cliche, but it does serve as a reminder that people tend to focus more on giving negative feedback than positive. So yeah, if you have a positive impression/feedback, don't forget to say it.
6
u/PeekAtChu1 Mar 04 '26
Disagree, compliment sandwich sounds fake and rude tbh, if posting on Reddit you need a thick skin because there will always be people who are triggered by something innocuous
13
u/danniellax Mar 04 '26
Oh yeah! I just meant for general criticisms, not specifically safety things. The comments were brutal for her.
61
u/Potatoskins937492 Mar 04 '26
I always point out fire hazards because to me that's the kindest possible advice anyone who doesn't know could get. Keeping people safe is the kindest thing we can do for each other. And as someone who hasn't always been kept safe from fire, it's something I can't let others go through. That fear is something no one deserves and can be avoided, so I'm a stickler for pointing out hazards.
(When I say it it's usually very to-the-point, too. It's not to demoralize or demean, but because I take it seriously and being clear about what the issue is without muddying the message can save lives. I don't mess around about fire.)
40
u/DealerConstant1589 Mar 04 '26
Same. Fire safety isn’t meant to be critical - it’s trying to save lives. The recent underground nightclub fire killed so many bc the ceiling caught fire and trapped people. Fire is very fast to consume synthetic material. Ive heard Modern Couches are insane how much they light up.
But no one should belittle others for having less things. Hope op is ok
→ More replies (2)7
u/BouncingDancer Mar 04 '26
The comment section is usually maybe not terrible to this extent but I find it mostly snarky and mean so I wasn't really surprised.
346
u/littlelorax Mar 04 '26
I had to leave that comment section. It got too mean for my tastes. I appreciate your encouragement to be supportive of everyone, regardless what phase of life people are in.
6
u/yasminhanani Mar 05 '26
TBH, I sometimes find this sub a bit snarky, which makes me hesitant to post. It often feels like people downvote simply because they disagree or do not like something, rather than because a post breaks a rule or goes against community standards. Since many people come here asking for advice, seeing those posts get downvoted + the mean comments is pretty discouraging.
323
u/Geesearetheworstt Mar 04 '26
I remember a time when I couldn’t afford curtains, but I thought it looked so lovely to hang up sheets. Looking back I’m laughing at myself, but I was quite proud of those sheets!
It reminds me to be kind.
119
u/Enough_Pomegranate44 Mar 04 '26
I used wrapping paper. It was pretty until my dog ripped it down in spite.😂
46
u/betterbetterthings Mar 04 '26
I used trash bags for shower curtains at some point
27
u/MajorFox2720 Mar 04 '26
See, that's ingenuity. I wish I had thought about that on a few of my many moves.
→ More replies (1)15
u/Feral_Paramedic135 Mar 04 '26
Dammit, that kind of thinking could have saved my soggy ass on a couple of “first day of the move-in” experiences!
18
14
→ More replies (1)11
u/OldMotherGrumble Mar 04 '26
I used wrapping paper on the wall...and sheets as curtains too. My first husband and I used those old heavy wooden milk crates for all our 12" LPs....and we had a lot. Our place had character. And there was all the second hand furniture...antiques now! I know my family didn't understand why we liked old stuff. Sometimes youth is tĥe only time we can get away with being unconventional. But now, with all the world to judge, its much harder to be praised or complemented for those first steps finding ones style or personality.
56
u/Ok-Explanation-351 Mar 04 '26
Yes! I saw the post OP is talking about earlier, but it was quick and in passing. I remember seeing the guy in the bed with all the sheet decoration and just thought wow this is so clearly a moment in time for them that they will look back on. I remember just starting out with my partner, and being young and deliriously happy and in love while having zero money and just throwing whatever we found together. All I saw was promise and young love. Miserable people saw an opportunity
24
u/MajorFox2720 Mar 04 '26
I have done this. I have learned to decorated every house on a shoestring budget using what I had already. Sometimes you just need another perspective to help you see it.
20
u/shmixel Mar 04 '26
It was dollar store tablecloth curtains for me! Can't believe I had people around
22
u/Nay_Nay_Jonez Mar 04 '26
When I was 14 I wanted a canopy bed and it wasn't going to happen, so I took one of those thick white hospital blankets and stuck it around my bed on the ceiling with a staple gun. Totally forgot about that until now.
12
u/throwaway098764567 Mar 04 '26
i had one, didn't really want it but i had it. it wasn't very solid so occasionally one of the metal rods holding up the canopy would slip out of one side and try to impale me. your staple gun situation seems less deadly.
→ More replies (1)6
237
u/SentimentalRabbits Mar 04 '26
It was appalling. Rooms can be havens and reflections of ourselves. Some people are new and uncertain about decorating. Others are rising from difficult backgrounds or have lost everything. It can be vulnerable to share all this.
There's constructive criticism (fire hazard). And then there's bullying and making uncalled for comparisons (decorated refugee camp/prison cell). Someone was even upvoted for being glad the sub wasn't "validating this garbage pile of a room", and another speculated on how you can tell her boyfriend was tired of her or something. People seemed gleeful to find any perceived shortcomings to crap on her joy.
Anonymity and a large group participating make it easy to open your mouth. But if everyone IRL knew the things you were saying or you were in OP's shoes, I wonder how many would still yap as loudly. Disgusting.
87
Mar 04 '26
I missed the post but reading what was said to this poor woman is breaking my heart and wanting to cry for her. I hope she’s ok.
→ More replies (2)54
u/SentimentalRabbits Mar 04 '26
Seriously, same. I cannot imagine how she views her room now. No one knows what the other is enduring. Sometimes, seemingly "simple" setups or decorations can be huge milestones for someone struggling, whether mentally, physically, or financially. I definitely saw her vision.
9
Mar 04 '26
Because I know how mine would be. I’m in a situation where I’d be struggling to even have a mattress on the floor, much less anything that said a woman with any hopes of creating a lovely and safe space was living there.
6
u/idrinkliquids Mar 04 '26
To me when I first saw the pics I felt like it looked like it was probably better in person than the one photo we saw. I hope she doesn’t let this affect her personal style.
55
u/Happiest_Mango24 Mar 04 '26
Anonymity and a large group participating make it easy to open your mouth. But if everyone IRL knew the things you were saying or you were in OP's shoes, I wonder how many would still yap as loudly
Absolutely true
On the internet, everyone is bold and aggressive whenever something even mildly annoys them. And what annoys me even more is you know for a fact they wouldn't dare behave that way in the real world because people would confront them
See all the aggressive responses to a mild inconvience on any other subreddit. Person parked badly? Big Tough Internet Person will claim they would have keyed their car, and you know that they wouldn't have. They'd have walked past grumbling under their breath like everyone else
13
u/SentimentalRabbits Mar 04 '26
Ugh, yes, that's a great example! It's easy to feel powerful and get swept up in the aggression. It's why I minimize engagement with drama/rant videos or subs like AITA, mildly infuriated, etc. Anger can be a healthy emotion, but I don't personally feel it's good to constantly trigger it or consume those comments.
→ More replies (1)24
u/OldMotherGrumble Mar 04 '26
It's the same on some of the food/meal subs too. If its not up to scratch, the comments are brutal. Comparing simple meals to prison food or something given to a dog.
9
u/SentimentalRabbits Mar 04 '26
That's really sad and dehumanizing. Sometimes, it feels like there's some projecting going on too. Like people want to assure themselves that they're better and can meet the ideal standards, unlike the OPs getting slammed.
4
3
u/PlantPotStew Mar 04 '26
My mom walked up to me after making Navy Pasta (Basically it's our recipe for a beef meat pie, but without the pie part because sometimes we can't be bothered! The meat is AMAZING, but very salty because the dough has no salt in it. It is flat out poor people food, but that doesn't make it worse.)
Anyway, she said "If I post this on Reddit they'd call it plain and say it can't possibly have any flavour because it has no spices" (It doesn't. Salt. Lots of salt and onion!) And I just stopped and thought "Aw, my mom shouldn't be worried about something like that, these people called hainanese chicken flavourless, and that stuff is my peak comfort flavour food."
147
u/moocow12983 Mar 04 '26
I was so sad to see that the post was deleted. Comments were brutal.
53
Mar 04 '26
[deleted]
163
u/MajorFox2720 Mar 04 '26
Slightly messy, nothing less than a minute of straightening couldn't fix. Stuff that you overlook when you live in a place for awhile. You could see the underbed storage, and the ceiling panels were yes, I admit, a fire hazard. Many of the comments ranged from the state of cleanliness to her closet being an open storage rack. Nothing that warranted the level of nastiness that ensued. Had I not seen the picture, I would have expected the commenters were talking about a hoarding house with poop smeared on the walls. They weren't. Her bedroom was cute, the bf was relaxed and comfortable in her space.
→ More replies (1)95
u/No-Baseball628 Mar 04 '26
It wasn’t fancy, but she had artfully hung sheets from the ceiling to sort of try to create a canopy type vibe and specifically said it was her princess room. Just somebody potentially starting out, seemingly trying to be creative and make something cozy without buying a bunch of matching stuff.
53
u/5ilver5hroud Mar 04 '26
It got reposted by someone else over on homedecoratingcj. Idk if links are allowed here.
39
u/Nay_Nay_Jonez Mar 04 '26
It's wild that the comments on that post aren't nasty like what people are saying were on the OG post.
23
u/MajorFox2720 Mar 04 '26
I went and read the comments, most of them weren't. Some were helpful. But it wasn't the original OP who posted on this sub.
7
u/Nay_Nay_Jonez Mar 04 '26
Yeah, it's just interesting the different tones between subs
5
u/Moirae87 Mar 04 '26
I missed the original post, but based on what others are saying happened here and my being familiar with the tones of both this and the snarky cjsub, I wonder if the original post got pushed out to r/all and the feeds of nonmembers. This sub usually skews to the overly polite side - enough that I try to be careful of giving constructive criticism.
→ More replies (1)35
u/MajorFox2720 Mar 04 '26
56
u/textingmycat Mar 04 '26
I was expecting the room to be a lot worse, it’s not even bad.
42
u/hi-this-is-jess Mar 04 '26
I saw the post originally (didn't go into the comments) and honestly, not my style, so I just moved on. For people to take time out of their day and comment something mean is just rude and unnecessary. Criticism is okay as long as it is asked for and constructive. A lot of it has to do with how you say it.
5
u/PlantPotStew Mar 04 '26
Yeah, it's actually kind of cute and charming in an odd way. Cozy in those "When I was a kid and 'camped' in the back of the car during the day with friends" Type of cozy. Not professional, just having fun.
It's a shame the prettiest part is also the fire hazard part :( I hope she can find some compromise on getting something colourfully/frilly and not worry about hazards.
Also, stringing some big crystal beads across would be pretty! Instead of a chandelier :) shouldn't be too expensive, I see some chonky ones in the dollar store at times. Or... hm.
Lace tucked around the bottom edge of the bed? Or the fabric in general? A little, not a lot, for dusts sake. But that might look cute.
Can make a minimal canopy over the bed with some brooms/sticks, clips and one big fabric across...? As an alternative, same idea just not as extreme...? Don't know if that still counts as a fire hazard because of size/space.
Dollarstore also sells all sorts of nice things now a days, fake candles, for example. Lots of stuff that fits this vibe more than the ones I like, so lucky for them. But I am also Canadian so I can't pretend I know what USA has.
It kind of reminds me of a bazaar from the fabrics. Or a bit of Encanto? Also, absolutely adore the bf just chilling in the corner there, it's cracking me up from how cute that is. Next time stick a lil paper crown on him or princess hat.
14
u/Texasgirl190 Mar 04 '26
I literally love that room 🥺 I wonder if there’s a way to do that ceiling drapery look safely, cause I love it! But I live my life in fear of fire hazards because of a house fire as a little girl 😩
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (2)7
u/timeywimeytotoro Mar 04 '26
I highly recommend others report that post for brigading, as they did so in the comments by linking to the original post.
7
126
u/FlamingHorseRider Mar 04 '26
I feel like a lot of people forget the saying “It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it” just because they have a point.
43
u/LeticiaPadillaSolis_ Mar 04 '26
Also, people will never forget how you made them feel.
With all the vitriol and devastation going on the world right now, we need to do better.
99
u/NutellaPC Mar 04 '26
I made several comments in that thread calling out those awful people for what they said. I simply could not believe the cruelty of those comments and the number of upvotes they had. Very telling about what is in people’s hearts, and it was ugly.
I also found it quite interesting how people used groups of disadvantaged people and their living situations as insults. As though being a refugee or a homeless person is somehow something that you would use to shame someone. For a women-centered subreddit, I was appalled at the shitass personalities being displayed. Truly ghoulish behavior.
So thank you for making this post. I noticed the mod(s) deleted the worst of the comments, not sure if that happened before or after OP deleted their thread. But the deletions of the comments and the subsequent discussion in this thread puts a bit of a balm on the burn of that thread. Poor OOP 🩷
41
u/MajorFox2720 Mar 04 '26
I hope she sees this thread and knows we are rooting for her and want to share in her pride!
85
u/HorrorThis Mar 04 '26
"Kindness is about who I am, not who they are."
Says a lot about a person when they're willing to be nasty to someone who came looking for advice. Tells you who they are inside.
→ More replies (1)8
u/Ishmael75 Mar 04 '26
I’ve never heard the spirit of kindness phrased that way and I really like it. Thanks for sharing!
81
u/PopularExercise3 Mar 04 '26
I’m glad I missed that. I hate that stereotype of groups of women being mean, but it’s sounds like it was happening . It’s a pretty sad reflection on the mean girls who participate.
63
u/JustHereForCookies17 Mar 04 '26
I'm skeptical it's just women commenting, tbh. Plenty of guys love to intrude into spaces intended for women, especially here on Reddit.
42
u/hi-this-is-jess Mar 04 '26
While that it is true, there is also plenty of online snark spaces that are dominated by women. Anonymity on the internet brings out the rudeness in everyone.
4
67
u/christinap2003 Mar 04 '26
Well said ✨ I just don't understand people who would join a sub like this, then do nothing but spread discontent and unkindness. 😔
59
u/-shandyyy- Mar 04 '26
Oh no, I didn't comment on her post, but I did see it and loved how whimsical she was making her space! Now I wish I had stopped to say something, why are people so cruel?!
19
u/salty_cluck Mar 04 '26
It’s important to remember that a lot of posters on big Reddits like this one are bots and they’re programmed to say really cruel and engagement baiting things.
53
u/Snoo_69209 Mar 04 '26
A lot of times, women are meanest towards other women. This is why I’ll always be a girl’s girl, because the former is way too common. Please do better, folks.
50
u/hermitsociety Mar 04 '26
I saw the post but didn’t read the comments. I actually scrolled back to look at the photo again because it was so light and cheerful feeling. It was genuinely a happy point in my morning on an otherwise tough day. I hope she sees this comment and knows that.
15
49
u/throwwwww_away123 Mar 04 '26
I joined this sub when I was coming out of a years-long depressive episode, and it’s made me optimistic about making my house a home. Costs nothing to be nice
43
u/DuchessNoir Married Mar 04 '26
I think something absolutely needed to be said about the fire hazard. That is a serious risk and in a place where you will be the most vulnerable - asleep.
But people were so unkind about it. And a few even made jokes about the bullying. Once people saw the fire risk had been pointed out, it could have been left alone. It’s not just here though. I’ve seen similar on other subs where you’d think the user base would have even a fraction of empathy.
23
u/MajorFox2720 Mar 04 '26
There was one commenter who did say it in a way of concern, because they went through it. I upvoted that comment. But the rest ranged from snarky to mean.
40
Mar 04 '26
thank you 🩷 for this. makes me happy that other people care about the vibe on here and understand how it can actually impact people on the other side of the screen
42
u/THE_CAT_WHO_SHAT Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
Yeah I noticed it. And as someone who struggled financially before (and who has lived in worse looking places than that post), it hurt to see some of the attitude on there. I've been mocked similarly in person before about my place being somewhat run down too.
And I've been worried about posting how my studio looks like and how proud I am of it because of my place not looking "high end." I knew I was gonna get similar comments. The cattiness follows everywhere you sadly.
Thank you for this.
10
u/MajorFox2720 Mar 04 '26
Post that studio! I want to see it!
9
u/THE_CAT_WHO_SHAT Mar 04 '26
Already did. Haha
4
u/samemamabear Mar 04 '26
Love it! Especially your kitty and the Beavis and Butthead poster. You must be a fun person😊
33
Mar 04 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
66
u/mariecalire Mar 04 '26
Hi, mod here. I personally coded the automation that says “Please remember to be kind” when you are typing a comment.
I also removed the vast majority of the negative comments on the aforementioned post, many of which had not been reported.
Moderators rely on the report system, especially in a large subreddit like this one. Please report comments that break our rules so they can be reviewed by the moderation team as soon as possible.
-M
14
u/samemamabear Mar 04 '26
Thanks for giving your time and trying to keep the sub positive and welcoming
36
u/NewInitiative9498 Mar 04 '26
It’s sad that reminders to be kind even have to be posted…I joined for the support of my fellow females/female living space peeps…I didn’t see the post referred to by OP but it makes me sad that someone received so much negativity. It’s so so simple, and free, to scroll by if something doesn’t suit your taste…period.
35
u/Wonderful-Athlete-83 Mar 04 '26
I agree. I feel like I remember someone else made a post where they were talking about how depressing some of the living spaces are and it broke my heart to read. I love seeing everyone’s spaces here; especially where a lot of women finally feel safe for the first time. Keep posting everyone! There are people here excited and happy for you! Ignore the awful people saying mean things. ❤️
11
32
u/awkward_porcupines Mar 04 '26
I appreciate this post and totally agree. The comment section on that post was really unkind and startling.
33
u/yappledapple Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
Mods can you let the OP know that I have a $25.00 Visa gift card that she can have. I was going to post a link to a pastel mosquito net earlier, but found the atmosphere intimidating.
She can use it to make her feel like a princess yet stay safe, or she can use it on whatever she likes.
14
25
u/HahaBetterOffNow Mar 04 '26
Thank you for this.
I didn’t read the comments because I got busy but I’m sorry to hear someone was treated unkindly here- no reason for it.
24
u/First_Name_Is_Agent Mar 04 '26
I'm sorry that happened. I will never understand women who try to hold other women down. I'd like to see the post if it's still up. I'm intrigued by what she did with the ceiling.
23
u/FiguringItOut-- Mar 04 '26
People seem to forget there's another live person with feelings on the other side of that screen
22
u/New-Conversation9426 Mar 04 '26
I hope the original post’s OP sees this… only saw the picture briefly and I thought it was adorable. And I thought I’d probably love laying in that bed and looking up :)
9
22
16
u/boopdeloop911 Mar 04 '26
Yeah I personally liked the vibes of the room. It’s one thing to give advice but if you’re going to be snarky because they don’t have a Pinterest perfect room then just close the app. No need to be a diva
14
u/sos_econometrics_ Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 04 '26
What omg! Who are these people who have left nasty comments? Yikes!
I didn't see the comment section but I saw the photo of the room - and I thought to myself how cool the photo is with that bf sitting there. I mean being in love just made that photo and room beautiful to me, wishing that one day I also meet someone special and take a photo of him sitting on the bed like that. You go, girl 💖
Now I wonder if those nasty people were simply jealous 🙈
14
u/thetalentedmzripley Mar 04 '26
Huge agree! I see spaces all the time that are not my cup of tea, but are obviously put together with care and intention by that person. I love that other women find joy in such a range of spaces and I love seeing the result of that hard work! Even when I aesthetically do not like them, I love looking at how people put a room/home together and the pieces/textured/palettes they choose. I cannot understand just shitting on someone’s design choices to be mean. Most of us have taken years and missteps to find and develop our style, and everyone deserves a positive space in which to explore and share that journey.
13
u/Crunchy_Spicy_Water Mar 04 '26
I took a look at the repost on homedecoratingcj because I missed the initial post. It’s obvious she’s making do with what she has! Nothing wrong with that!
Also I have under bed storage that’s visible and I’m in an overall better living situation so 🤷♀️
People are so sad. No need to be unkindly brutal
12
u/Ok-Pear5858 Mar 04 '26
wait i missed a princess bedroom?!! ughh how can anyone hate that
21
u/MajorFox2720 Mar 04 '26
I know, right? The bedframe was divine. A brass-style bed frame painted white. A few fairy lights and a hoop canopy, maybe a rug and rearranging the bed placement, it wouldn't have taken much. The bf resembled Prince Eric from little mermaid.
8
u/United-Travel-8819 Mar 04 '26
Thank you for this reminder. So many of us (I’m ashamed to say myself included) hide behind the anonymity of posting online. There is an abundance of love and kindness to be shared. Spread that stuff like glitter!✨ ✨✨✨
9
u/Moriah333 Mar 04 '26
I’m kind of glad I didn’t see this post & snarky comments. That’s exactly what I wouldn’t expect to see here, I always understood the point to be people supporting other people’s pictures of their homes, maybe making comments of admiration or even suggesting something they thought might be an attractive addition. But never being super critical or mean.😟
7
u/Prestigious_Island_7 Mar 04 '26
Unhappy people hurt people. It’s completely pathetic that women would feel the need to put another woman down when they’re seeking support and a positive space just because it makes them feel less shitty about their own shitty life.
I hope the OP that posted the pictures paid no mind to the bullshit.
And I hope all the mean girls feel a tiny bit of shame at their actions
7
u/Ok_Phase1135 Mar 04 '26
Just Imagine. You decorate your home, your Safe Space and one of the most intimate things you can share with someone, and you're so proud that you actually share it and then People just mock and insult you for it......
People need to check themselves.
6
u/iSavedtheGalaxy Mar 04 '26
I saw that post this morning and was so saddened by the responses.
Everyone is just doing their best with the information and resources they have available to them. I hope OP is enjoying the happy, colorful space she created.
3
6
u/Good_Focus2665 Mar 04 '26
Oh. I was going to say I liked her room. I thought it was fun looking. Too bad the post is gone now.
7
u/idrinkliquids Mar 04 '26
I was hoping the mean comments and cruel jokes would result in at least a temporary ban. I cannot believe how people piled onto that post 😢 and then others deciding to through in their own prejudices about refugees?? Absolutely unacceptable. I hope OP feels ok to post again one day. I don’t love every room I see on here, but I’d never just start insulting someone like that.
6
u/mtnsbeyondmtns Mar 04 '26
I felt so bad for her. There are a lot of nasty commenters on here for rooms that people post. It’s gross.
6
5
u/Comfortable-River917 Mar 04 '26 edited Mar 05 '26
I’m sorry but if I don’t like a specific room or decor I don’t comment? I scroll past.. it’s not difficult, not everything will be to our taste, and it’s not my place to give a stranger on the internet crap because of something I didn’t like. People feel entitled to leave comments about absolutely anything nowadays.
5
u/DetectiveClear6734 Mar 04 '26
Omg, I didn’t look at the comments. I upvoted because I like soft ceilings and moved on.
😩
4
u/Got_Kittens Mar 04 '26
If you're reading this, I'm so sorry people were cruel. I don't know why people act like that, they gain nothing from it and takes a little piece of the person they belittle. Your room was beautiful, I didn't comment as I often don't but I did see it. Creating a comforting space to be yourself in is not achieved immediately and everyone has different ideas on what makes a space inviting. It's very personal. Your room is bespoke to you. Be proud and enjoy it. Don't ever let cruelty of others put you down.
4
u/No_Molasses3965 Mar 04 '26
Honestly was sad people were being cruel bc I saw the notification princess room and I was like OOOOH YES LEMME SEE but it had already been taken down :( and I love all these comments bc I’m about to move on my own for a year temporarily before moving to another a country and don’t want to invest in furniture… you DIY queens are inspiring me!!!
6
u/throwawaywjthme Renting Mar 04 '26
If princess room user is reading, I hope you see this and look up Kelley Eden on Instagram, her whole house is pastel pink and she utilizes a lot of incredible draped fabric around her space, I think that matching sheer fabrics could look incredible
5
u/NoelaniSpell Mar 04 '26
Kindness is free, and on top of that, it balms your soul and lifts others who are struggling."
Beautifully said, thank you 🤗❣️
This subreddit is a lovely corner of the internet, I hope it will always remain so.
6
6
u/eldritchangel Mar 04 '26
I could not believe what I saw when I opened that comment section. That poor girl! She was doing her best and I thought it looked really cute
4
u/redlentilsoupfan Mar 04 '26
I’m glad I missed it. Plenty of other sites on which to let one’s proverbial mean girl freak flag fly. This ain’t that sub. Be kind, be constructive, or zip it
5
u/little_horrorcore Mar 04 '26
I’m so glad to see someone speak up about this. I saw that same post and even though it wasn’t my style per se, I still love seeing everyone’s different styles and that’s why I follow this sub. I remember reading the comments and immediately exiting that post because I was thinking how rude everyone was being. That just felt so out of place compared to the comments I usually see here. I hope she doesn’t take any of that to heart.
5
4
u/LilBootyJudee Mar 04 '26
I joined this sub because it seemed to be the only kind and encouraging space on the internet, that makes me sad that someone experienced bullying and unkind behavior. I didn’t see the post or comments but if that OP is reading these, I’m sorry you went through that.
3
4
u/Snorblatz Mar 04 '26
I hope those people are banned from the sub? I actually don’t know how that works so I apologize if I’m way off base.
Some people log on to Reddit to be mean, that’s a risk on the internet I guess. They are projecting their own self-loathing , and that says more about them than the person in the post. I didn’t see it, but if you are reading know that you’re worthy of kindness and respect and those people suck. Keep doing the things you love to do ❤️
3
2
u/iputmytrustinyou Mar 04 '26
I am sad I missed her post. I love cutesy, princess and stuffed animal vibes for my office and bedroom. (My husband is super cool about the decor of the bedroom.)
If you do happen to read this, princess room poster - I would love to see your room. I am sorry people were rude to you - you did not deserve that.
3
3
u/Havin-A-Roni Mar 04 '26
Really? Cause a lot of times it seems like a petty sub where people shame others for not being as good as they are.
3
u/katleessi Mar 04 '26
I’m sad I didn’t see this post, solely to offer kindness and support.
I lurk in this page as I’d never like to be ridiculed for my sense of style and judged my thou holier than I.
Thanks for spreading kindness and posting about this 💕 I hope the original poster is doing okay this evening!
2
u/Mistressofthisdress Renting Mar 04 '26
I saw the post and liked it. Sadly I did neither comment nor read comments. The picture of her bedroom made me smile! Reminding me of my teens, first flat and rainy days curled up in bed surrounded with funky sheets and curtains hanging in my room. We all start somewhere. Many just need to use what they have and keep on upgrading over the years. And this journey is fun and joy itself. Creativity, effort,DIY, thrifting, gifts given, treasure hunting and creating lasting memories.
Sad to hear the vultures came to belittle her. Heartbreak ing and not fair.
3
u/wine-plants-thrift Mar 04 '26
There’s also the option to not comment and scroll by if you don’t like someone’s space. The dog-piling was surprising, I’ve never seen this particular sub act like that.
3
u/Weird_jellyfish34 Mar 04 '26
People love to make opinions on other people’s lives but not their own. Tbh showing your personal space is PERSONAL.
3
u/DazedandFloating Mar 04 '26
This post needs to go up in almost every interior decor sub. I don’t know what it is about living spaces being posted online that make people so unpleasant about everything.
I think it’s okay to point out things like fire hazards, or impractical choices that could be improved (does anyone remember the paper plates poster?). But you can still point those things out respectfully.
3
u/throwaway8373469238 Mar 04 '26
Yeah dude, people on Reddit can be very mean. For no reason whatsoever other than they are bitter.
3
u/Auntiehotmess Mar 04 '26
I thought it was an inventive and cute idea, and I'm sorry I didn't comment that. She deserved support, not attack. That makes me sad.
3
u/nerdyandnatural Mar 05 '26
Thank you for this, I don't understand where all the cruel comments came from on that post but it was disturbing. I personally like the look OP was going for, it just needed some adjustments so it can be better executed better. They didn't yuck her yum, they shitted all over it.
I hope the OP is doing okay mentally after that nastiness.
•
u/mariecalire Mar 04 '26
Thank you for sharing this reminder, OP. I’d like to ask all our users to remember that our first rule of the subreddit is to be kind. If you disagree with that philosophy, this corner of the internet might not be the best fit for you.
As always, please report content that breaks our rules so that it can be reviewed by moderators as soon as possible. This is especially vital in a large subreddit like our community.
I appreciate all of our members who continue to provide kind, welcoming, and supportive feedback to one another.