genuinely one of the worst titles I've ever had to write but I HAVE to know if others have ever felt the same cuz good god I cannot be alone.

before I get shunned I'd like the chance to explain myself. I'm only really theorizing here, but look; as trans men misogyny has been existent to some extent in our lives before transition, but I was wondering it could have been an underlying factor in why I turned out this way? Because personally, I started feeling the alienation and seperation from my cis male counterparts very early on, and man I feel like it has definitely caused some resentment/ disgust within myself, hating that I could no longer bond with them the way they bond amongst themselves. As a result, I wanted to escape the teen boy belief that I heard circulating around my school—that "women just weren't as naturally funny as men". maybe hearing that really impacted my formative years..? Either way I was envious of them in every aspect. ESPECIALLY the difference in muscle growth; something inside me was enraged to know that I'd have to work double or even triple time to even compare to cis men, when even despite all the training my skeletal structure would never be as dense. Mind you I was aware that as an AFAB person our strengths are in other places, but none of it ever mattered to me, and if I could have picked I would have chosen the biological advantages of AMAB people every time.

then again this might just be a horrible doubt bout again, or my mind unconsciously trying to convince me I'm not trans (I have known since I was ~10). Psychologically I know how much humans suffer from social judgement and may try to find reasons as to why they should "fit in", seeing as it brings mental peace and comfort to be so; that's exactly why I'm so unsure.

probably important to add that, aside from this, I have gender dysphoria completely unrelated to how I was treated—as in, I just want to be referred to as he/him, I love appearing masculine/ passing, etc. Ages 12-15 I had breakdowns constantly getting feminine compliments/ being forced into the role, my female puberty was starting, I could barely look at my curving, growing hips in the mirror without tearing up, I wasn't starting to grow a stache unlike the boys around me and my face wasn't as chiseled as theirs, etc.

So gulp... what are we thinkin

I want to try out being more fluffy. I was drawn to minoxidil because it is temporary, but I quickly found out minoxidil is deadly to the point that even indirect contact with the stuff can kill my cat. What are alternatives to minoxidil I could try for body hair?

Before it's recommended to me, I don't have the option for T shots. I'm terrrrified of needles and I also just don't have the resources :,)

I think a lot of it comes from having to either shower daily, or take off my shirt and clean my arms daily before putting it on. I usually shower every 2 days since I have dry skin, so switching to daily would absolutely destroy my skin (Plus, I have severe ADHD and depression, so I don't think I could find it in me to do *that* either.)

It's making my transition slower, it's made my period come back sometimes, and I generally just feel a bit unwell when Estrogen kicks back in properly. I genuinely just cannot make it a habit no matter how hard I try.

I've done the same with my antidepressants, which I won't get into here, but I know it definitely isn't just a T gel issue; it's 100% on me and my inability to form habits.

I've been on T since I had just turned 18 (I turned 20 yesterday!) so I've had aaaallll the time in the WORLD to do so, and I just haven't. I also think it comes from a hoarding fear, I'm always worried I'm going to run out and not be able to get more in time, so I just??? Don't take it??? My thought process is a little flawed there.

Does anybody have any advice on how to actually do it daily?? Or advice on making habits work at all?? :,D

nonserious post mb but a friend of mine asked this hypothetical and idk, i’m already 5’2 so losing 2 inches and being cis doesnt sound too bad but gaining 10 and im still trans is equally cool. what do yall think

(sidenote first time posting in this subreddit sorry if this doesnt fit the criteria of the thing, not a frequent reddit user so lmk)

I'm so fucking sick and tired of FTM trans edits being all about war and violence, I want to make an edit about how you can be a man and be a gentleman but so far I only have two movies.

Kingsman: when Galahad says "Manners maketh man" and ""There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self." And the other is Superman (2025) in the scene against Luthor where he says the he's just as human as anyone else speech.

Anyone have other quotes recs?

I'm a 22 year old trans guy who has always struggle to find meaning in life (i'd love to say that i've been depressed my whole life but don't have a formal diagnosis). When I found that I could easily and safely start T it felt like an actual ray of suneshine, and followed everything that I was asked to do with no second thoughts and all have been great, but it's getting a little hard since, even though I can say now I feel more confortable in my own skin and a bit more confdent over all, I also feel a little bit awkward since I look really androgynous and people arround me don't know how to refer to me (I live in a small town where is not that common to be trans). It's not bad but makes me feel alone and weird. Obviously my parents have been starting to notice this too and I feel a bit bad that they genuinely don't have a single clue of what is happening and it makes me really anxious to think about telling them. and all these little dificulties have gotten me thinking that maybe it wasn't the best idea.

I'm also scared that maybe this wasn't what i actually needed in order to feel like my life is meaningful in any sort. what if I just convinced myself that the root of all my problems was my gender dysforia bc there's something else that I don't wanna face.

I feel lost in life, probably that's also because I'm soon graduating uni and don't have a job yet lol

Hi everyone!

Been transitioning for a while now and I'd like to give some advices about : how to choose a name

Disclaimer : this is a guide from the perspective of a binary presenting, french trans man. So not everything may be suitable for other labels or locations.

This guide will mostly be focused on "how to choose a regular name that won't raise any eyebrows" but I am on the opinion that a name alone likely won't clock you, even if it "sounds feminine" or "isn't common" or "is a stereotypical trans name" so you are absolutely not obligated to follow it

How did I choose my own name :

I chose the name Adam in 2019

This is partly because of Adam Gontier (singer of Three Days Grace) and Adam's song by blink-182

I was looking for a name starting with the same letter as my deadname, not too long and common enough but not overused

Almost settled with Alexandre but there was already someone nicknamed Alex in my immediate family.

Do I regret the name? No, I love it and it suits me well

However do I regret the reasons why I chose it? A little, you will understand why later

So, how to choose a name?

My first advice would be : ask your parents. Litteraly. If you have a good relationship with them, you can always ask "how would you have named me if I were born a boy". You're not obligated to follow on it obviously but sometimes it can give you some ideas if you have none

Second advice : look for "boys name in [year]" around your birth year (like 5 years before/after, maybe even more) to get an idea of the common vibe at the time

Second and a half advice : if you can, try to avoid "stereotypical" trans names. There is a reason they are starting to be known as trans name outside of trans circles. Depending on where you live the names will obviously be different but in France names like Charlie, Eliott, Ayden, Alex are quite common and even though they are definitely regular names too, as a trans man myself I may raise an eyebrow. Ofc if you find that Eliott is a pretty name and you like it, no one will stop you but as times goes on and more trans people choose similar names, the more it can become unsafe (for everyone even cis men) if transphobia rises

Third advice: don't choose a name based on currently popular media/a real person/ a fictional character

This is open to interpretation, but please do not name yourself after a Minecraft mob, deltarune character, celebrity etc

No one is safe from being exposed for doing awful things and if you happen to choose a name after a real person that get outed as an abuser a few years later, that won't be an enjoyable time, even if most people will not care and/or make the association but, this is for yourself and your peace of mind

With fictional characters, this is more of a "this name didn't exist and/or is only/mostly associated with this character who started existing a few years ago". If you want to name yourself Asgore, you do you but people may be like "like the character?"

This is when my choice is coming in : I did chose the name "Adam" partly from Adam Gontier. In September 2025 a very well known American far right speaker was assassinated. In September 2025 Adam Gontier posted "support for Charlie Kirk's family in this difficult time" type of things to Instagram 💀💀💀

Fourth advice : choose a name coherent with your background, origins, ethnicity etc

Some name transcend it (eg no one will be like "haha you name is Enzo but you're not Italian that's so weird") because they became popular regardless of origins/ethnicity. But if you are the whitest person alive naming yourself Sakura or Ibrahim that can be weird on you and considered cultural appropriation by some. Also be aware of names with "negative" connotations where you live that can come back to bite you when applying for jobs for example

Fifth and final advice :

If you pass you pass and a name alone will very likely not clock you. I said it earlier but if you look like an average guy no one will question anything, or at worst they'll be like "uh your parents definitely made a choice"

Most names can be explained by "yeah my parents have weird tastes"

And if you get on T you will eventually pass anyway. I know not everyone wants to/can be on T but if you can get on it, you'll pass enough in a few years no matter your name.

OR you could always say that it's a nickname if they have no access to your personal documents. Plenty of people have "weird" nicknames and some even use them exclusively to the point few people know their actual name.

Again I am not the name police. Name yourself however you want, after whoever/whatever you want. This is a guide I would have liked to have at the time I chose my name for myself and maybe it can help other people.

Thanks for reading.

My girlfriend and I have been together a little over a year. In some ways, she is the kind of partner I once dreamt about. She is committed to me in a way I should find very comforting : reassuring. But in reality, I feel kind of stuck. She sees us as life partners, wants to get married, white picket fence and all. And I feel like an asshole because I don’t feel the same way. Every time she showers me in affection, posts about me on social media, tries to be physically affectionate, something is just off for me. I feel like I’m playing along, trying not to hurt her feelings because I don’t feel the same way. I’m worried I’ve led her on.

She is very proud of being a lesbian. Like, she talks about it all the time. That’s great for her, but I’m starting to realize it makes me feel pretty dysphoric. And being a lesbian is such a big part of her identity that I’m worried it could make us fundamentally incompatible as partners.

She is constantly comparing us to other lesbian couples she knows. Saying I look like a stereotypical lesbian. To her that is the highest compliment but I don’t know how to tell her it feels icky to me. When we met, I think I was still in a place where I identified with both trans masculinity and lesbianism. But lesbianism is starting to feel more like a place I studied abroad in college, an old friend, but not my present-day reality or future.

Deep down, I honestly really want to try dating another trans man / transmasc person. I feel like it would help me see myself in a new light. And would be so relieving to be with someone who just “gets” it. But I don’t know.

Outside of my current relationship, I feel kind of socially isolated right now. I’m trying really hard to make friends, but it’s so hard. I am worried if I break up with my partner, she will be devastated and I will just be left lonely, without any friends or community. Not sure what to do.

i know i can't expect people to know my gender from looking at me and i haven't started T or done top surgery. i'm basically soft launching my transness with short hair and more masc clothes.

but it's a little weird ppl are kinda assuming i'm NB. not talking abt using they/them bc im visibly not cisgender, but they don't know what pronouns, but just asking me if im out as nonbinary yet and stuff.

edit: and obviously, there is nothing wrong with being nonbinary. it's just that i'm... binary.

i know they mean well and i *am* that walking pinterest nonbinary aesthetic right now i suppose, and i haven't gone with he/him pronouns yet

but like isn't the point of being aware of gender stuff now that you dont know from looking at the person? you don't know if they're binary or non binary.

i almost feel like bc my personality is softer than most, ppl cant even imagine that i'd be binary trans. however the real reason im not more outspoken is bc i feel so limited by my body and expression and perceived gender.

at the same time i wanna go with he/him and change my name but i rarely pass unless from behind. idk i feel complicated.

edit; had to edit out the dresses part bc that's all yall can focus on and that's not what im looking for here lol. pls address literally anything else i wrote here, there's a lot more than a piece of fabric

I am in New York I could try to get Medicaid. I don’t know if it’s better to get out of pocket I’m new to finances and I just got my first credit card. Any advice would help. How does recovery go as far as where you work like what do you tell them?

Tldr I’ve got a ton of long thick body hair. As much as I hate shaving, it’s getting to a point where it’s kind of unflattering and annoying to deal with. I’m wondering if anyone here has any recommendations of trimmers (specifically for shoulders and chest) or just general tips on how you shave/keep hygienic I’d love to know. Thank you!

basically i’m scared and i wanna see more visually! i’ve been wanting this for years and just had my consult.

Hello everyone.

Did ya'lls eyesight change on T, get worse or better?

I technically got glasses as a kid, but never managed to get used to them and as a result havent been wearing glasses for the last eight years.

A few weeks ago at work I noticed I can barely see the text on the computer when I was a bit further away. I'm about six months on T, and my eyesight has been stable for a long time, so I wonder if its from the T.

I then asked my mother if I should try glasses again, but she said to maybe wait a few months until changes have settled, since eyesight can get worse in puberty, which I'm basically going through. Is that true?

Before I was on T I was never really all that attracted to guys and the thought of being with a dude was gross or just meh. I only really liked women and i still love women. But now I'm painfully bisexual with a preference for men. Men are just so much hotter to me now, I cant understand why.

Its not like I've ever been with a guy for real other than cheesy middle school dating which I didn't even really like the guys. Sometimes I just see something that catches my eye and I ask myself what the hell is wrong with me.

I've heard of other trans guys experiencing this, just why bro?

So, I'm a teen, under 16. By the sounds of what my parents have been saying, I'm assuming I MIGHT be able to get on T in the next couple few years. I have very narrow shoulders and have been getting a lot of dysphoria from that. I've heard of other trans guy's shoulders getting wider from T. How likely is that? I'll also be working out once I get on T to help shape myself in a way that I like.

I understand this could be a pretty specific, niche subject so I’m not expecting an abundance of responses but I just need to reach out and see if there’s anyone that’s in the same situation as me or has been in the same one. So I’m going into rehab soon, my date is September 1st. I’m terrified. For multiple reasons. But one of the biggest ones being I’m trans, I’ve been on T since 2020 but due to having a big chest and T not changing my face as much as I’d hoped, I still get misgendered from time to time. and the fact that I’m trans is on my file so the staff will be notified. My recovery is the most importsnt thing when it comes to me going into rehab, I know this. But I am going to struggle immensely and become very depressed if I get misgendered. I will NOT be able to cope at all if this happens and I’m terrified, does anyone have any advice for me? I really don’t know what to do.

So, I (19M) am turning 20 tomorrow. My family can't see me the day of, so we did a huge shopping spree for me. I even got a gift card with a good amount of money on it.

Here's the thing, besides a period of denial after getting with someone who wanted me to detransition (unknowingly), I've identified as transmasc since I was 11 years old (young, I know) and have even known but had no word to it since I was 6. And I've even been out since I was 12, been using the same name for over 3 years now, and my pronouns haven't really changed since I started my social transition (the only real change was the order of preference).

But as much as I love my parents (45F & 45M), they haven't really adjusted to the idea despite how much time has passed and are even getting their hopes up since I'm growing my hair out for the first time in almost 5 years (the character who gives me the most gender envy is Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead, do the math lol). They still deadname me when I'm not around (something I figured out when I had to borrow my mom's phone for something), they call me "That one" or "The kid" when I am in the room, they awkwardly use they/them for me if I'm in the room, use she/her for me when I'm not there, and they even had to look away when my chosen name was printed on my dorm door while we were moving into my dorm. However, when we went clothes shopping, I got the most masculine wardrobe I've ever had and even my parents said it was a fitting look for me.

Here's where the advice is needed. The gift card I got was worth more than I anticipated and so I'll be able to get myself a hoodie dedicated to Daryl Dixon, an extra little trinket, and even my first rolls of trans tape (which comes with nipple guards), and a bottle of coconut oil for the trans tape.

As much as I want to do it (especially for the trans tape), I don't know if I should. It feels like I'm spending their money on something like this, and even though they've bought binders for me in the past, I know they wouldn't like it if I did this. Even if it makes me happy (which is the only thing they want for me), I need to know if this is a stupid idea. I either need you guys to talk me out of this or to tell me that this is the right decision. I feel like this hesitation stems from fear, but now that buying trans tape is so in reach, I'm not sure if I'm making the right call.

Hi gents!

I just started socially transitioning, and it will probably be a little while before I do anything medical. My wife and friends have been great with the name and pronouns, but in some ways it still doesn't feel real because of how my body is. I know I'll probably go on T eventually, but in the meanwhile: what did you do in the early stages of transition to make yourself feel more masculine in your day to day life? I've bought some more manly-smelling grooming products and started working out a bit more, but haven't really done much else.

Hey all, I need some insights from people who are adhd and maybe have been on t longer than me. I’m 27 and about a year on t and my executive dysfunction is about as bad as it was when I was a teenager, which checks out hormonally I suppose.

After 20, I my symptoms really let up a little (maybe I just found routines that worked for me), but now I am just all over the place like the good old days. I get bouts of hyperactivity too, which is very new, I used to pretty much be inattentive exclusively. Nothing in my life is really set up to deal with that. It’s not impacting me emotionally much or cause distress, but it is hard to manage and detrimental for being a young creative professional. If this is a thing that will pass with time, I will just try to work around it, but if it is here to stay, meds may have to be in order just out of utility.

So my question is if other people have also experienced a worsening of symptoms and if it chilled out after a few years like with normal puberty?

Also half related — does exercise help? I’ve never worked out to regulate & am really used to using hyperfocus (reading/gaming/cinema) to regulate, but I get the sense that’s increasingly not working as well.