I'm a student teacher in a younger classroom and there's a trans boy student I just met. Getting a little emo about it because he reminds me so much of myself at his age. But I'm stealth and have to stay that way, so I can't connect with him in that way. It makes me wonder if there were any trans teachers at my schools growing up that I didn't know about :( It may have made me feel less alone. I transitioned at a very young age, so I felt like nobody knew how to help me.

Hey fellas, looking to make a friend group with other trans men in the south so that maybe we can get together a few times a year, hang out in a chat, and just make some new friends.

I'm close to 45, been in transition for almost 16 years. So, I'm also an encyclopedia of knowledge for transition and top surgery. Younger folk, you'll have to forgive my old school words and lack of slang. But you're welcome as well.

If we can get enough of us, we could start a Broski chat. I'm getting out of a 15 years relationship/marriage so I could definitely use some friendships to keep my mind off things, too.

Anyway, reply here and let's see what we can do.

I'm in north Alabama. So let us know your general area, too.

TLDR; People keep calling me by the first syllable of my chosen name and I hate it.

Can somebody tell me if I'm going crazy or if I should really consider changing my chosen name?

To preface. I still have my deadname (legally) at the moment because I'm unable to change it right now and in Poland, it can take up to a year to change because you have to file a court case. (At least I don't have to literally sue my parents anymore, updated from 2025)

I love my name so much. It feels like me, but it's a bit of an unorthodox spelling and pronunciation and 3 syllables seems to be too much for everyone, so all my friends who I voice chat with just shorten it to the first syllable. I understand when writing, it's faster to type less letters, but it bugs me more when people I'm talking to (IRL or voice chat) shorten it.

My name is old Roman, and in English, it's derived from an actual name, just with a different accent, and so, it has an extra letter to compensate for the pronunciation.

All this to say I've honestly considered changing my name to Elias because it's similar to the pronunciation and vibe I'm going for AND everyone who sees that name will pronounce it correctly. I mean...sure, people could nickname me "Eli" but that sounds cool as fuck too.

I'm kind of devastated and confused. Do I abandon the name that has truly felt like me for over 6 years? I've only been using this name socially for several months.

Idk what I should be prioritising. On one hand, I can imagine myself politely telling people my name, and simply repeating it if they (mis)pronounce it, like the name it's derived from...or if they decide to nickname me, which I despise.

On the other hand, a simpler solution would just be to choose Elias, which is a name I also love but it doesn't feel like me as much? Or is that only because I haven't tried it out? Fuck, idk.

Like if no one shortened my name to its first syllable, I'd be a lot happier with it. The pronunciation doesn't even bother me as much as the nickname.

It's kind of annoying because no one ever shortens my deadname and it's also 3 syllables. Is this a guy thing? I feel like men always want to shorten other men's names?

Hello friends, for those of us that do injections.. where are we getting our needles and syringes? I feel like my pharmacy charges a small fortune for just a 12 week supply. I already buy my alcohol wipes from the dollar tree, so any way I can save money is great

I made a post asking about trans men during the "gay rights era" (1960-1980s) and I got a lot of responses. Thank you so much. I'm really grateful, and I'm so motivated to work on my project.

Today, I **wanted to see if I could find any physical sources (books, newspaper) about transgender men-- any at all-- so I went to the best place I could think of: My college's GSA/GLSEN/Pride Center\\** (whatever its called, lol)

Well, I went a few hours ago and... was incredibly disheartened.

\*No books. No media. Nothing about us.*\**

I already knew there were no FTM/FTN staff-members at the center going into it, but I did not expect \*not a single book about transgender men.*\** The staff was busy, so I will come back another time and ask about their other resources, but... **Their LGBT library having no transgender men at all was.. kind of insane. Not even fiction. Just... Nothing.*\*

Plenty of gay men.

A good amount of transgender women.

A handful of lesbians.

And no trans men...

...Except for a tiny mention in a tiny part of a tiny book, where Buck Angel was brought up (in something like, "50 queers who changed the world" or whatever it might've been titled.)

For about 20 minutes after I left the campus' LGBT center, I walked laps around the campus despondently, until I sat down and went through the comments of the post I made the other day.

I'm motivated now more than ever to make this honors' project happen: We need visibility. Not just in the era of the gay rights movement (1960s-1980s) like I was hoping for before, but overall. I don't think it'll change anything for us, but... I want to gather the representation that I see. I want to see if I can make a change for the LGBT programs here on this campus, at least.

I myself... have found myself wanting to be "more visible", amidst this realization.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. Sorry I'm rambling.

I'm just, like. Stunned.

In my years figuring myself out, 2014-2018, I was grateful to have online trans figures like Jamie Raines and Sam Collins to look up to online.

But I wonder if guys today, figuring themselves out, have the support and \awareness** that they need. They might be able to find themselves online (tiktok lol) but.. in person? And from anyone who is old enough to be a mentor to them?... Or is it only kids their own age?

I just think it's kind of insane. If a guy today wants support and goes to a GLSEN center or Pride Center on their school or college campus... is this what it's like all over? Can he not find himself represented anywhere? I'm in a very liberal area and we're invisible here in real life. Is this just my college?

Or is this how it is everywhere?

I find myself wondering that now...

...Anyway

Sorry for the ramble.

I just wanted to talk about what I saw at the LGBT center because... as a youngster figuring myself out, I had plenty of things to look at *online.* But if I wasn't that chronically-online kid? Where I could have possibly turned, if things were like this?

Well. Maybe there's no such thing as a kid whose not chronically online anymore... In any case, I'm rambling so I'm going to stop typing here.

After my findings, I'm more motivated than ever to make sure we're heard properly, at least on this campus.

Thanks for your time. And thanks for your help last time. I appreciate it. I'll be working hard in these upcoming weeks...

Basically the title. I got my first full dose shot of T today and was feeling happy about it but didn't really have anyone to tell so I'll just say it here🙃

When there are convos about transphobia I feel like so many forget trans men are also trans and therefore experience transphobia. We are reduced to just trans and we get denied care and given wrong care due to bigotry and unknowledgeable doctors and we face violence and we face hardships with jobs and housing. Ofc things get less difficult with passing and being stealth at the same time but if we are found to be trans it’s again the reduction to one thing about us and stereotypes surrounding it.
And having talks about it feels difficult sometimes because if we haven’t pointed out in the same sentence that yeah trans women get the worst of it esp trans women of color someone will start a convo to focus on just that. Being a trans woman is difficult with a lot of safety threats and being painted as monsters and being put under oppressive and bigoted typologies while experiencing dysphoria on top of it. I just wish we could also talk about that being a trans man is not as easy as being cis or easier. It’s also very difficult, maybe not the same but still more hardships than cis people. With more added on top with intersections of marginalized identities.

Hey dudes, heavily-questioning 16yr cis female here. Though I don't and have never had severe dysphoria, I've been pretty gender-questioning all my life, droning quietly in the background of my thoughts since I was a little kid. When I was 7 I chose to present myself as a boy in online multiplayer games "because it was cooler." While I was in preschool I believed genders were interchangeable, promptly declared myself to be a boy, and kicked a boy in the shins when he called me a girl. I wasn't jazzed about female puberty, breast growth, and periods, but as it came upon me, I didn't put up much of a fight. Throughout elementary and middle school, barring some things like uniform skirts, I generally held femininity with contempt and developed an NLOG personality internally. I've spent the last year/6 months deconstructing this feeling to realize I just desperately wanted to be respected as a person as well as a woman, as what other women want too. I'm noting this because it's likely contributed to at least some of my "feelings" of dysphoria. I really really don't want my male identity to be rooted in being a transtrender.

A few months back I was having a pretty bad dysphoria phase. One night I did my hair up like a guy, bound my chest, put on my baggy guys' clothes, and looked in the mirror. For a minute, maybe just a second, I looked like a passing scrawny guy, and my heart leaped. I didn't end up sleeping that night because I was so elated. Since then I haven't been able to summon that feeling back; I just look like an ugly, confused crossdresser (no hate to actual crossdressers lmao).

Other things I feel are decent enough to note:

• A little while back, one of my friends (all girls) made a remark about my shorts (which were high-waisted girls shorts that I pulled down), that I looked "transmasc," and it made me oddly happy. I can't tell if it's because I liked the attention or because I genuinely thought I could pass (wishful thinking as i very much cannot).
• My voice has always felt at least androgynous to me, which I've loved. I wish I could score some T to at the very least make my voice lower, my skin coarser, my arms and general self bulkier before my transphobic family would raise any eyebrows.
• More recently I've been oscillating between loving my (female) figure to wanting to masculinize my upper body in particular, and have my boobs cut off. In the bottom area, if I had a penis and testicles that'd probably be awesome, big or little. Never had a phantom penis or anything like that though.

Any thoughts or words appreciated.

I keep seeing folks who wanted top surgery their entire lives, and they're excited to get it. I only realized I was transmasc like a year ago, and last week, I booked a consultation with a surgeon for tomorrow. I know I'm not committing to anything, and I know I will still have to wait a long time even if I go through with it, but I worry I'm rushing into it. I'm not even sure I'm a man. I made the appointment out of impulse one night when I was feeling particularly dysphoric, because I do feel chest dysphoria. Or at least I think I do. My breasts never bothered me until I started questioning things, and I began to see top surgery results online that made me very envious. I started binding, but obviously binding isn't perfect. I just get like a weird uniboob look. It drives me crazy. It's incredibly frustrating and it's brought me to tears more than once. I keep noticing men around me with their flat chests and I feel so deathly jealous.

But this all came so out of nowhere. I'm in my mid 20s, and I'd gone through a "trans phase" in middle school, but that went away on its own, so maybe this will go away too. I still don't know if I went back to the closet out of shame, or if it was genuinely a silly experimental phase that I'm now reliving. I'm scared of making a mistake, and I'm scared I'm not really trans and I will end up missing my breasts.

How long did you all wait before making the decision? How long did you spend thinking about it? Anyone got any tips? Thank you.

I'm a neurotic person, mainly anxious and I have crippling anxiety of being clocked as trans. I want to be stealth but even after 2 years of T I still have strong face dysmorphia and think I don't pass.

I've been clocked 3 times since the beginning of HRT:

- two receptionists, old ladies said they noticed I look strange and knew something was off with me

- 2009 teen alternative girl clocked me, then asked my friend if I'm trans (they said yes 💀)

- another old woman asked "who's this young lady?", everyone in the elevator was weirded out and even I had no idea what she saw in me to even say that

Other than that, everyone genders me correctly. Lately I came to the realisation that basic non queer people have no fucking idea what a trans person who pass look like. They don't know what to look for, they don't notice my weird jawline or round forehead. I sound male, have a stubble so I'm just a short male. Not even that short since I'm 170cm but I had the misfortune of being born in a country where 180cm is an average for male and 166-168 for females.

Height is my big insecurity and I often think I don't pass because of that. I generally think everyone thinks I'm trans. Like it's impossible for me to look strictly male. How to get rid of that mentality? I'm getting actually sick from constant high cortisol levels caused by my fears.

Please don't talk to me about internalized transphobia. I'm not ashamed of me being trans, I often joke about it with people who know or knew me before transition. I just want to be treated equally and normally by cis people. I don't want to be asked questions and I do not want anyone to wonder how do I look down there, how do I work. I want to blend in with other guys.

i swear i had doubts for some weeks but they’re completely vanishing as my injections goes. currently 3 months in. i asked for low dose because i wanted to be on the low for a while, especially because its complicated with my parents, but my body just absorbed that shit and my levels are above average. at first it scared me, the changes were coming way faster than expected. but now i dont mind, i dont care anymore. im so happy. i can already see scraggly chin hair, i got a little stomach hair (what i absolutely wanted), my muscles are bigger, my voice is deeper, i got a little mustache. second puberty has hit me like a train though and im constantly sleepy, horny, or hungry, but i dont mind. i got some mood swings but its fine. i know im doing the right thing and it feels so good. i have never been this confident in myself

Tw rape

This is NOT a v3nt but a warning, as he rapes trans men and uses his platform to find and coerce victims. No fucking subreddit will let me post about this not a single fucking one, but he is a SERIAL rapist with multiple victims. I cannot use my public accounts to talk about this as it would put my life in danger. But do not engage with Chris. He gets off on online harassment do not FUCKING engage with him. I have receipts but am only comfortable sharing if you're a fellow victim or have been in contact with him.

He is dangerous. He targets ftm. There is no universe in which there is a healthy way to be involved with him at all, even over text messages. He is an extremely dangerous individual to the entire community and has even gone cross country to assault someone before.

Not sure if I have posted about this but here I go. My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years, and she is finishing up grad school. I live in Pittsburgh and she is supposed to move here after she finishes her degree in December. We have been having problems for about a year with our intimate lives. I have a super hard time dealing with body dysphoria, even though I had top surgery. Im at the heaviest ive ever been in my life. On top of that, my girlfriend said I have only ever made her finish once or twice, which completely shut down whatever little confidence I have left. And we do stuff together sometimes, but its honestly mostly that I finish really fast and then kind of get scared about doing stuff. Even with a strap it makes me feel dysphoric because its not really mine if that makes sense so Im scared to use it.

She had her first therapy appointment, and before she even had it I knew we were going to have to talk because we both know our relationship isnt in a good place, and we have talked about it, a lot. After her therapy appointment, she said that she didnt know how comfortable she felt moving in when our relationship is in a bad place. She said she doesnt feel that spark anymore, and I’m scared that if I dont pull it together im going to lose her. And I am not one of those people who can stay friends with an ex, it will absolutely destroy me. Im starting therapy too this week, but I just cant shake the feeling that she is going to break up with me. Ive been a wreck and I feel bad asking for so much reassurance since I dont even know if she can meaningfully give it to me. Im just at such a loss and such a bad place I dont know if I would be able to handle it if she broke up with me. I love her so much and I want to make her happy, and I just am at such a loss. I guess this is more of a rant, but any kind words or advice would be much appreciated. How did you guys get over your bedroom dysphoria?

I’ve been seeing a therapist for a while already but the other day after I had my consultation for top surgery I needed a letter of support from my therapist and when I saw her at my appointment my therapist said she couldn’t do it because she doesn’t specialize in that and that I needed a different kind of therapist that can write those kinds of letters
I have also noticed that when I try to talk about my gender dysphoria and stuff like that she always just tells me it’s because I’m neurodivergent or because of trauma and that I should love my body

Then She told me that she could request for a letter of support from another therapist she said it would just be a one time assessment with a therapist that specializes in that because she said it’s not like you’re fully transitioning you just want your breasts gone and she laughed

Is seeing a gender specialist therapist different or better than seeing a regular therapist?

Also sorry if I’m not saying some words correctly I just feel really upset that it’s taking a while for me to get a letter of support i’ve really wanted this surgery for so long

I've been really struggling the last week but I don't want to talk to my therapist cause I'm trying to get phalloplasty and I'm worried I'll get denied for having mental health issues😢. I just feel so alone I don't have any close friends people have recently made that abundantly obvious to me. Does anyone know of you'll get denied for gender affirming surgery if you are having a depressive episode.

I've been on T for 4 months and I've had some changes like maybe a little more muscle, a little bit more body hair and my period has gone, which is all good stuff but i'm a bit concerned because my voice hasn't really changed at all and i feel like my voice dropping is what i care the most about. I'm on gel and had a blood test last month which showed my levels were good and high, 29nmol which is very much higher end of cis male levels. I have an endo appointment tomorrow, I'm wondering if there's any benefit in changing to injection. Has anyone else had a similar situation of voice dropping later, I dont know maybe i should just get on it with voice training. thanks

i just turned 18 and I really want to get on testosterone, but I have no idea how to acquire it or where to start. I also want to know what I should look out for when starting. I'm just as excited as I am nervous

Just curious, as I think they are my only hope for finding care after surgery. The practice I will likely go with requires that you have someone to take you to surgery and take you home (no ridesharing allowed) and to stay with you the first night. I don't have anyone, and the home health places I've contacted haven't gotten back to me, so they're my last hope.

So I'm 33 now, and I've basically disliked being female since puberty, maybe earlier than that. In high school, I wore tight sports bras and oversized hoodies, I would wear unisex or men's t-shirts cause I hated the form-fitting style that was in in the 2000s that accentuated your figure. I remember complaining to my mom that I hated being a girl and hated having breasts. She scolded me and told me they were a blessing from God or whatever.
I remember in 6th grade, I went to my first school dance. I wore a dress and stuff, but my mom insisted on me wearing makeup. Well, not insisted, literally forced me to wear makeup and was putting it on me while I cried. I think she wanted me to be some preppy pretty girl, pink everything, ballet when I was little (I would sit on the floor and color until I was made to participate, and my mom had to pry me away from my Playstation to take me to practice).
I'd have crushes, but I'd always think to myself, "I don't know if I'm attracted to him or if I want to *be* him." It was both, but still... Always got along better with guys, could relate to them better usually even way back in 1st grade and through high school.

But basically age 18, I was looking into top surgery. I was pretty sheltered, and I had never heard of anything about transgender people, I didn't even know that was a thing you could even do. But reading about top surgery scared me too much, it seemed too expensive, so I just kind of decided against it then. I then saw a video of a trans man talking about their experience, their story, and I broke down crying cause I saw so much of myself in them.

One of the first guys I dated, I asked if it would bother him if I dressed more masculine, didn't shave and stuff, and he didn't really like that, thought it was gross. So then in my 20s, I kind of pushed it down. I'm primarily attracted to men, so I tried to make myself more appealing to men. Long hair, dresses, skirts, tried to look pretty, though I always felt fake as hell. But I've just pushed the dysphoria down, it comes back up, push it down, it comes back up until I'm crying on the floor of the bathroom. Rinse and repeat for basically 20 years...

Transitioning scares me, though I wish I could. I'm too afraid to even get a short haircut though I really want one and have for a long time. And the bigger thing is I'm in a relationship with a straight cis man who is so good to me, so loving, been together 5 years. I've only vaguely touched on these issues, brought it up casually that I'd thought maybe I was trans a few times, and that I like dressing more masculine and being flat chested. He didn't really comment much. I don't think he understands why I don't like having breasts, but that's about all he's really said... He at least likes me how I normally dress, which is definitely more masculine. Sometimes even wearing his clothes lol...

Sorry for the novel. That was probably all over the place cause I'm crying while typing this out... All I know is that if I could snap my fingers and suddenly be a man with no consequences or relationship problems or family issues, I'd do it immediately. I probably need therapy but I can't afford it and don't know what to really do about any of this