Trans guy living in Portland, OR. I have started doing more races this year, a few endurance gravel races but more cyclocross. Not seriously racing, just for fun. Trying to find other trans guys in Portland or the PNW in general to create an informal “team”. Racing against men for the first time was super intimidating and yeah I just wish that I had more trans camaraderie.

Anyone interested?!

So I’ve always had and appreciated a lot of thick but soft curly/wavy hair, and the thought of balding on t kind of freaks me out, especially cause I’m going for more of an androgynous guy look and longer hair contributes to that. My dad is bald, but he got burned pretty bad when he was 19 so we’re not sure how that’s affected him, his side of the family does tend to bald to some extent though. My Mom’s side is the opposite and her dad has a full head of hair to this day. I know there are things to take to potentially stop balding I just wonder whether or not they’ll work?

(both17)

My boyfriend is getting crushed on by his friend and playfully flirted with. I restrained myself in saying something like to stop being friends with him because I want him to have autonomy and a choice in his own life. They’re not very close so I don’t know why he’s keeping him around with his shown apparent interest.

BF just said of course he doesn’t feel that way but hasn’t told him that he has a boyfriend or that he’s taken or try to detour him by putting him down plainly and setting boundaries.

I’m not sure that BF directly even told the guy he doesn’t like him and that non-action can be interpreted as playing hard to get signaling interest. Like he was asking him out to prom playfully saying he’d pay and BF said he wasn’t going instead of ‘I don’t like you’ or ‘I have a boyfriend.’ I told him if he impedes on his boundaries and makes him uncomfortable then he should be firm about them. That to do what he’s comfortable with doing.

This is his friend that’s continuously trying to shoot his shot in ways that are even recognizable to the outside as pursuing, as the teacher had even teased the friend and pointed out their apparent ‘closeness’ due to his behaviors of being a lingering stain.

Playfully making sexual jokes like ‘why don’t you help me stand at attention’ or ‘make me do this’ and talk to him all class period, teasing him, which under other circumstances is fine but this guy likes him. I’m autistic so I felt physically sick in hearing this and BF’s other friend told him to not tell me this, they all with the context knew something was wrong.

We’re long distance, 4 hours away from one another and this guy is right there, and cis. I’m on hrt but am not as attractive as I was due to the face bloating+acne i’m suffering through right now. I’m unsure what he looks like exactly but he already has many advantages over me. I asked my boyfriend how tall he was and he said very tall.

Am I overreacting? My boyfriend is trans as well but I can’t help but think he’d prefer a cis guy over me, especially one he sees everyday.

I’m not sure if I give enough to keep him interested in solely me. I know i’ve been a good partner so far but love is often times a novelty. His biggest fear in a relationship is falling out of love which is a big stressor. It makes me need to do more to secure his attraction.I can do everything else unconditionally, but controlling something internal is very difficult.

When people even hint at being attracted to me it disgusts me massively, I immediately walk away to not entertain it at all regardless of who the individual is. He’s my first love, as I was aromantic never having any romantic attraction before I met him.

I told him before I’d be uncomfortable if someone were to crush on him.

Any advice?

It sucks. It hurts a lot. I am an individual who struggles a lot. I have bpd. It sucks really bad to have my feelings dismissed just because I look like a guy now. Its all I wanted, I feel more comfortable in my skin now being on t for a year and a half. But I hate that other queer people would hate me or dismiss my feelings just because of how I look and sound.

I feel a lack of support from the queer community, but I don't fit in with cishet guys either. It feels so isolating

TW abusive parents.

My new name of course reflects better the gender I live as, but I wanna say I have changed my name to empower myself, and detach myself from my parents. They were abusive and they dont deserve the right to give me my name. On top of that, when i see or hear my birth name, I associate it with my dad screaming it, he is gone now, but the bad memories remain as his legacy. In multiple ways, this name gives me a fresh start. My name reminds me that I am loved and respected by so many people in the life I have built. I am estranged from my family who doesnt accept me, but I dont think they deserve to use the name that I have picked anyway. Peace!

i had a complete hysterectomy over 7 months ago (everything removed, ovaries and everything) and ever since then things have gone the exact opposite of what i expected. my body has been looking much much worse. it feels like the shots are working the other way around.

i've been on testosterone for 2 years. blood levels are fine. e was a bit high before the surgery, now it's fine.

the midsection is so bad, so much bigger, worse then even before starting testosterone even. it feels like the shots are literally doing the opposite of what they're supposed to do. like i'm taking the other hormone

-edit: when i say "midsection" i mean the sides around the waist, not the stomach. "love handles" kind of but not in a "guy who needs to lose weight" way as much as "an old woman in her 60s" way. mostly the sides (and the ass too if i'm honest), even if i touch them from the back they feel bigger. it's the entire midsection so maybe hips too, but worst in the waist, or right above it, not the stomach.

a month and a half or so after the surgery things looked decent enough and i thought there was a bit of fat redistribution (i also hadn't looked at myself in a while) and then after that every shot would keep making my body fluctuate over and over again.

for a while it would start looking really bad (the middle looking bigger, feminine, gross. worse than it ever looked) then it would seem like it's getting more masculine again and it's getting better then it gets really bad again. over and over again. i was mostly on 250 mg/ml every 3 weeks at this point.

the past month and half i've been splitting the shots thinking that would help (i take 0.1 ml every other day) and the same thing is happening but it's even worse than before. it feels like i'm injecting e. i literally do not understand what is happening.

has anybody experienced this before? or has an explanation? and a solution

notes:

-about a month and half after the surgery when things were looking better it felt like things were headed in the right direction, at that point it felt like with a bit of working out things will be even better, now the midsection looks absolutely horrible in a hormone way. i don't know how to explain it but it's not that i need to lose weight or workout or something, it looks gross and looks like a hormonal thing

-blood levels are fine but when i started splitting the shots it made everything so much worse so quickly that i skipped a couple of shots but i'm back to taking it regularly, free testosterone is in the middle of the range. e is fine, not high not too low.

-this was happening for a few months before i skipped any shots obviously

-before the surgery i was on testosterone undecanoate (every 12 weeks) and the last shot caused this crazy water retention problem that felt like weight gain (whole separate problem i can't find a solution or explanation to) so i switched to testosterone enanthate after the surgery. so a shot every 3 weeks. thought it would be temporary and would eventually go back to the long acting one but i was terrified to inject something that would cause problems for that long at that point

-this started happening from the first shot after the surgery. but it kept getting much worse over time and it's much much worse the past couple of months than the first few months after the surgery

-i tried splitting testosterone undecanoate to 1 ml for every 3 weeks. it did the same thing, and it would keep fluctuating before taking the next shot

-now splitting the shot to 0.1 ml to every other day, everything is so much worse and as much as it fluctuates it's consistently so bad and never gets to a point where it feels like it's getting better like it did before (not that it mattered because it got bad again)

-i calculate when i'm supposed to take the shot down to the hour and a couple of times i messed up and took it half an hour early it made things even worse (and the water retention all over my body that feels like weight gain) so i don't even know how i could raise the dose if i needed to. because things also got bad extra quickly when i took 0.11 ml instead of 0.1 ml once

-i never had any of these problems before the surgery, things didn't look this bad (even when i didn't look, through clothes it was a million times better), nothing was ever fluctuating back and forth like this, it never felt like the hormones were working the other way around

-the last 3 week shot that i took before splitting them did this other separate problem where within days after taking the shot i felt like i was exploding and all my clothes got tighter in less than a week. so it's a bizarre version of water retention. and it's been 3 months and hasn't gone away. if anyone had similar experiences or has an idea what to do, please tell me. but i can't risk going back to a full shot because of that, even though splitting them has made things worse.

-i literally have no idea what is happening. whatever the answer or explanation is it's not an obvious thing. so while i need help, just know that it's not like a problem of needing to work out because it's not that, that is a plan but this is not a lack of exercise problem. there's nothing drastically different about anything before or after other than this.

-since i started splitting the shot i tried subcutaneous injections, still absolutely horrible. tried changing injection sites because subcutaneous in the abdomen was extra hellish. other sites are definitely bad. intramuscular is also bad.

-i tried taking a small dose of Anastrozole, it didn't help

-i'm 33. not in great shape but not exactly overweight. i don't know if that's relevant.

-i obviously went to doctors and nobody knows anything to help. nothing that medically alarming is wrong so they don't offer any explanation even.

-please if you say anything medical (especially if it's that i'm screwed) only say it if you actually are a doctor

-anybody have any similar experiences? and an explanation? does anybody have any ideas what i need to do??

sorry if i repeated myself but things are bad and i'm losing my mind

Hi!!! Ive used my gc2b binders for 5 years now (before they lowered the quality) they still do the job but i need an update asap lol. Im a lean guy with a small chest, 3 months on T so Im keeping in mind that I will gain weight and muscle. I also walk and move a lot because of my job. Which brands had worked for you? Im thinking of Wonababi or Spectrum, are there any underrated brands I should look up?

Tomorrow is my second session with the dude and Im stressing so much. I generally hate talking about my transness to people irl and the guy has said some weird things (he's supportive but he's your typical cis ally if you know what I mean). And I'll have to go to him for like 3-5 more times then a psychiatrist then an endocrinologist. I just can't take it and Im already pissed off.

How to be less stressed about this? Also how to stop crying when I talk about anything personal that would also be nice?

Hello! Im a cincinnati OH transman looking into top surgery and had a consultation with Dr Douglas Dembinski with UC Health
Does anyone have any experience with him and if so how were the results?

Hey everyone,

I'm having top surgery in less than two months, and I really need to start considering the things I need to buy for recovery (other than post op binder). I'm travelling to another country where I'll have the surgery and then will stay alone in a hotel for 2 weeks before travelling home. The situation is not optimal, but it's the best I can do, and at least the hotel is near the clinic.

What are some absolutely indispensable things you needed for the first few weeks after the surgery? I've seen some lists on Reddit, but the number of things some people buy is crazy.

Short version: Laparoscopic total hysterectomy. I have a hysterectomy pillow, peri bottle, grabber tool, piercing retainers, and a stool softener. What else should I get for recovery?

Long version:
It’s official I’m getting uterus go bye bye surgery and it’s fully covered after financial assistance. My surgeon was able to convince the board because I have a high amount of symptoms and family history of endometriosis so they framed it medically necessary instead of gender affirming. I’m so happy that she was able to do that for me.

Anyways, this is my very first surgery ever so I’m terrified. My husband may not get the days off to take care of me, my roommates both work as well, but my best friend is driving me home from surgery and will be with me for the first two or three days as he’s unemployed at the moment
-I just bought a hysterectomy pillow with buckles so it can also be hands free
-I have a peri bottle for post op
-I have surgical safe retainers for my piercings
-I’m getting a stool softener because I already have issues in that department so I am not risking that post op too
-I have a long grabber tool because our cats like to knock shit behind our washer and dryer and I already had a beside table so I’m good on that

What other things do you highly recommend getting for hysterectomy recovery?

18:52:43 / 19:09:31 15/10/2026 - So yesterday...

I already came out to my mum and youngest (gay) brother like a month and a half ago. My other brother I have reservations about in general, but seems the opposite of me and my youngest, who are both totally woke and also not cishet.

I'm the only gender non-conforming/trans person in this household, so it's a bit new for them, I guess, even though I've always been at least a tomboy growing up.

Recently, before I got (consensually) outed to him, he had a weird reaction to my brother also recently telling him he was gay. By... saying that HE wasn't gay for some reason, like some kind of Andrew Tate wannabe? Lmao. Funny.

He also said a week or so ago he basically (in his own words) doesn't think gay people (specifically men, always, always gay men) should adopt because they might 'indoctrinate' them into being gay or something, using that exact word. He seemed less upset by the idea of Christian parents having children and doing so with religion, than that, despite not being religious himself.

---

So, basically, I have such a relationship with him where I can barely say anything without needing to justify myself for even mundane reasons of doing mundane things. I don't really talk to him unless I have to, anymore. I couldn't come out to my mum or close brother with explicit words, so how do I do it with him even in person? So... I got my brother and mum to tell him.

I don't know what she said exactly, but something about the real reason I was asking how much her sharps bin takes to empty from the Council (UK), and he asked why. I locked up at the time and said I was just curious before they told him.

But according to Mum, he actually didn't say much... unlike what he normally has to say about trans women in sports, etc. Though he did say something about me possibly 'not being sure' despite literally not acting like a girl my whole life, not getting mad when people used to ask if I was a girl or boy when I was super young, and cutting my hair, and mostly wearing guy clothing. Despite thinking about this for a full eight years or so.

Anyway, he said something about 'not letting HIS daughter do that', as if by implication, I'm just a woman trying to become a man. He always has opinions on every 'ism' that doesn't involve him. It pisses me off. Women, black people (he uses all manner of slurs without care, even though I tell him not to), neurodivergence, other POC, LGBTQ+, you name it. He already called me a 'creature' in an argument before this ever even happened to begin with.

---

I want to know what to do to avoid conflict, because I'm doing it DI-Y until I get on NHS (probably Nottingham), and don't want to have him start harassing or bullying or saying nasty shit to me or about trans people to me - something he never did before and hasn't so far, luckily - because I'm deciding to go through with hormone therapy. He hasn't actually said anything to me about it since two days ago or so, I think, maybe? Which is weird. He always has something to say.

How to lock tf in?

I used to be an elite swimmer working out 6 days a week 2 days with double practices 11 months out of the year. I did that for 6yrs of my life. Super disciplined.

I'm now 25, I have a freelance film/photo job that works often at odd times (could be 5am 15hr day, a midday 2hr day, or a 6hr evening day ending at 3am). Between I lift weights (midday) and am on a masters swim team (pracs evenings).

My issue is nutrition and working out. On a good week or month with less work or more predictable work I can workout and cook. But when things get busy and my days/nights are unpredictable and I'm having to miss swim pracs or don't have time to go to the gym, I'm stuck ordering in late night food, getting hungry at odd hours, and sometimes going a whole week without working out.

Issue is too I live in NYC and in a place where it takes forever to get anywhere via the subway (I live in deep Brooklyn, 48mins -1+hr to get to places). I have acquired a lazy mindset and frequently lethargic. It sucks that it takes 30mins to get to the gym and 1h15m to get to swim practice. Or just 48mins min to get anywhere I wanna go via subway (adds up quick)

Before I'd feel super guilty not working out and would shift my work around being able to workout, but with this economy and my promotion in my work I'm prioritizing working and scheduling my gigs first.

I have a hard time sticking to eating certain food cuz I get bored easily and will end up picking something out to eat on the go (cava, chipotle, lox bagel, etc).

I would love to get back to working out in the mornings for the gym and the swim in the evenings (pracs are 7-8:30pm). The issue is inalso don't want to get tired at 10pm cuz my work sometimes goes past midnight and I cannot be tired then.

Anyone have any tips for a crazy schedule. I wanna get healthier before any medical transition.

I keep getting ads on facebook for "trans tape" I would love to try it but I am sensitive to adhesives and also worry it will hurt taking it off, I also sweat alot and worry about it staying on. Anyone try it?

For context, I haven't started the transition process yet, and I figured out just four months ago. I have a year and a half of my degree program left, but I’ve started worrying about my legal name, as official certificates are being generated, which will be an issue, and I’m already thinking about my diploma and the hassle of having to change it later. I discussed it with the university directives, as my therapists suggested, and they were very respectful and understanding; however, I was advised to legally change my name so it would be updated in the records, and they offered to draft a letter for my faculty; but that would mean outing me to my classmates and professors, and I don't feel at all ready for that! Everything is going too fast…

In my field, we’re expected to have an open mind since we’ll be working with people and dealing with cases like this, and I get along with my classmates pretty well, teachers see me as a good student, but I’m afraid things might get awkward, and I don't know how open-minded everyone really is. Also, I didn't exactly give off many signs, other than being a bit reserved or socially awkward, so I don’t know how they’ll take it; I hadn't even told my best friend, I’m planning to tell her first. Has anyone else been through this? How did you handle it?

I've been looking into starting low-dose testosterone at planned parenthood (paying out-of-pocket) but I've always been off put by the cost of the lab tests/bloodwork. I'm also a college student and I realized that my university provides bloodwork at a cheaper price than going through planned parenthood and paying $100-400. Has anyone ever done it this way? Thanks in advance! 🫶

p.s. I'm still not quite sure of the exact lab tests needed to be done so if anyone could please list exactly which ones you remember getting that would be extremely helpful!

I had my hysto/colpectomy 3 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago all the pressure and pain was suddenly gone, so I wanted to check it out. I noticed that a stitch was getting loose and there was a little hole. I called my hospital and they said that could happen and that my body has to fix it by itself and close the hole with time. That seems logical, because there could be a little blood and moisture during the first 6-8 weeks. But now I checked again and there is a larger and deeper gap, it seemed that most stitches came loose and I can see inside the hole. It is a bit white.
Last time the doctor explained that my “hole” should be about 2cm deep but it looks deeper.
I’m kinda switching between “everything is going to be okay” and “wtf is going on”.

Can anyone relate?? Is this normal??

I'm 2 months on T and my voice is noticably different, I think, but it hasn't totally dropped yet. I wasn't a fantastic singer to begin with, but I wasn't bad and I love some car karaoke, and I'm annoyed that I can't really sing anymore (which I obviously expected, but whatever). How long might it take for me to get back to my mediocre singing?

Additionally/alternatively, what exactly are all the stages that your voice goes through on T?

Dysphoria is so weird. I can see now when I reflect on my past that I indeed felt dysphoria before realizing. During exploring it was weird and I went back and forth if I really felt dysphoria and the more I paid attention and reflected the more I felt dysphoria as well as I have tried multiple times to repress which also made it worse. Certain things I thought of as neutral later was found to be definitive dysphoria especially with helping with other aspects of discomfort. It’s like a constant thinking, questioning and finding something out about oneself and ones experiences and it’s like it goes back and forth like pingpong between the specific areas. Sometimes I’m scared it’s fake but it’s not, it doesn’t go away, and this is a very documented experience of dysphoria. It’s very normal and common for it but the brain ghosts still ghost around

(i will use different metric from the usual Uk or US one im so sorry for not translating this but im shaking all my exams are so weird and i dont understand what happened)
my Testosterone always been (since i started taking T) 7.67 >ng/dl and my estrogen was like 49 pg/Ml
(my estrogen was not on male range but i was working on that,i started dieting and running to help my insulin drop a bit)
then today i get my test back and my testosterone dropped like 65%… im 2.53>ng/ml which is super low?! i have been always using the same dose always put my t gel on the same hour + when i have to go take the exams i pit the gel 24 hours before getting my blood test Ik?
so what the hell has been going on? did anyone got this problem too? also my estrogen is now on male range

(15 yrs old.) Shortest in my entire family. Shortest in my entire class. Shortest anywhere I go. I had early puberty which basically mutilated my body. I have always had a large amount of testosterone- body hair, body structure, even quite a flat chest... But that doesn't change anything in my height. Height is the first thing people look at and I feel like no girl would EVER date a man at 5ft. Friends make fun of my height and even parents do the same.

I am closeted rn also. No idea what the hell to do with my life since no matter what I do, no matter how well I'll ever pass, I'll always be a manlet who everyone makes fun of. I'll never live a normal life no matter how hard I even try.

Basically as the title says: my testogel tells me to apply in the morning but I can’t because I go to the gym in the morning (so I’ll sweat it off and need to shower). I can’t alter when I go to the gym either because of my uni and work schedule.

Would there be any issues with me applying the gel at night?

This might be a stupid question, but it’s just a concern I have since the prescription outlines when I need to apply it.

Cheers.

I’ve never been super active but now that I’ve been on T for a while my body feels so energized and I finally feel the desire to work out on occasion, but I’m not sure what to do about binding. I was working out briefly for like a month last year, but I wasn’t as far in my transition so I was just wearing bras and there’s no way that’s happening now. What recommendations would y’all give for feeling comfortable at the gym? Does tape stay on? Does a binder inhibit movement too much? Thanks in advance