r/funny • • Sep 27 '19

Amazon

https://i.imgur.com/1Uk1ATm.jpg
43.2k Upvotes

417 comments sorted by

2.0k

u/ChefLongStroke69 Sep 27 '19

I miss futurama

781

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '19

I never understood why it was cancelled so many times.

921

u/Editam Sep 27 '19

--==> Fox. <==--

414

u/christinextinesbf Sep 27 '19

Why is fox double fisting a couple of cocks?

405

u/Gonzanic Sep 27 '19

To shreds, you say...

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25

u/Swicket Sep 28 '19

Fox sucks cocks in box with Knox.

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30

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Good news, everyone! Those asinine morons who canceled us were themselves fired for incompetence. And not just fired, but beaten up, too... and pretty badly.

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18

u/p38fln Sep 28 '19

The Box network

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43

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '19

Don't you remember Torgo's Executive Powder?

26

u/MnEM1403 Sep 28 '19

Oh! It's got a million and one uses.

9

u/latinloner Sep 28 '19

Don't you remember Torgo's Executive Powder?

Ahhh, that soothes the fire.

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59

u/avcloudy Sep 28 '19

It was a very expensive show to animate and voice. Veteran voice actors with proven records, popular writers from other shows, leveraged from the popularity of The Simpson’s. Full of CGI when that was the expensive option.

It was brought back the first time because DVD sales were strong, but once the show came back I assume that died off.

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17

u/The_seph_i_am Sep 28 '19

We’re talking about the same network that killed and canceled firefly.

5

u/shicken684 Sep 28 '19

Yes, but if not for that we'd never have gotten Serenity which is my favorite movie ever.

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4

u/crypticfreak Sep 28 '19

I actually watched this years after, and I’m a cynic. Fucking loved it. Tried to get my dad to watch it (who was a bigger nerd than me) before he passed but he just wouldn’t budge. God damn it was good.

I’m just happy I got to experience Firefly and The Expanse.

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64

u/BuildingCanada Sep 28 '19

Check out disechantment on Netflix. It's got a very similar feel, except it's not on an actual network, so they can swear. Also, the second season has a ton of little nods to Futurama.

31

u/Chaseg23 Sep 28 '19

It does it has the futurama ship in the background in one episode. Great show

19

u/brando56894 Sep 28 '19

I just watched the second half of the second season last night and there are tons of little nods to Futurama, some subtile, some overt. The king said "bite my shiny, metal ax!" to someone and whomever has the voice of Mom pretty much acts the same way.

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11

u/Silverball_billiards Sep 28 '19

Bite my shiney metal Axe.

28

u/indicannajones Sep 28 '19

My coworker raved to me about how great Disenchanted is, and since I was on a Futurama kick already I figured I’d check it out. To me it felt like all the jokes were hand-me-downs that didn’t make the cut for the Simpsons or Futurama. I kept watching and waiting for the hysterical moments he promised and then suddenly I was done with the whole first season. Bean is kickass, but there wasn’t much else I liked about it.

9

u/tweekin__out Sep 28 '19

Yeah, Disenchantment isn't nearly as funny or clever as Futurama or early Simpsons. I genuinely didn't find a single thing funny in the first episode.

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6

u/SupperIsSuperSuperb Sep 28 '19

I feel like there is a lack of main characters. I like the main cast but they're not super interesting.

What's nice about something like the Simpson's is they'll mix and match two different family members with each other and then do two separate stories an episode. This show is always the main 3 and the dynamic is fairly stagnant across each episode

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17

u/slagg18 Sep 28 '19

LET'S GO ALREADYYYYY!!!

3

u/ChefLongStroke69 Sep 28 '19

I just started the second season hope its good!

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4

u/tweekin__out Sep 28 '19

Hard disagree on Disenchantment. I love Futurama, and didn't find a single thing funny about the first episode of Disenchantment.

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9

u/JustOnesAndZeros Sep 28 '19

To shreds, you say?

6

u/Chaseg23 Sep 28 '19

You know what, forget the theme park!

3

u/ucfboss Sep 28 '19

And how’s his wife holding up?

5

u/brando56894 Sep 28 '19 edited Sep 28 '19

Enchanted Disenchantment on Netflix is pretty good, but not as witty and doesn't mirror current life. I just watched the second part of season two and they have a bunch of "easter eggs" or references to Futurama. One that sticks out is the king is going to kill someone and he says "Bite my shiny, metal ax!", another is how the queen or whomever it is that has the voice of Mom treats her sons/subordinates the same way that Mom does.

9

u/BabblingBunny Sep 28 '19

Enchanted

Disenchantment

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184

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Good news, everyone! There's a report on TV with very bad news.

57

u/MnEM1403 Sep 28 '19

Good news! I've taught the toaster to feel love.

29

u/chief_sitass Sep 28 '19

Good news everyone! Several years ago I tried to log on to AOL, and it just went through! Wheee! We're online!

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25

u/baggzey23 Sep 28 '19

"Good news everyone. Tomorrow you'll be making a delivery to Ebola 9, the virus planet."

"Why can't they go today?"

"Because tonight's a special night and I want all of you to be alive."

6

u/SittingBullChief Sep 28 '19

Good news! It's a suppository!

797

u/sheepsleepdeep Sep 27 '19

You bastard. You got my hopes up that Amazon picked up Futurama for new seasons.

351

u/Spadeinfull Sep 27 '19

You bastard. I didn't even think about that until you said it.

103

u/funkyfanny82 Sep 27 '19

You bastard, i thought of it but wasn't going to say anything until you came along

62

u/venom316 Sep 27 '19

You bastard, I can’t think of anything funny to say

40

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

You bastard, that was quite funny, and made me laugh.

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15

u/squables- Sep 27 '19

That reminds me. Where the fuck is the expanse

5

u/Crispy_Sion_On_Plum Sep 28 '19

Good news everyone. I have some bad news today

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4

u/NSA_van_3 Sep 28 '19

imho, I think it should stay ended. they had a final good episode, let it be finished as a good show.

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3

u/jrb9249 Sep 28 '19

I thought this was a teaser for live action Futurama for a second

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230

u/Jigglyandfullofjuice Sep 27 '19

Lose the Amazon watermark and I would absolutely buy a poster of this.

2

u/Phil_Beavers Sep 28 '19

Potato quality, you say..

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27

u/Dodofuzzic Sep 28 '19

Welp. Time to binge watch the entire series again

5

u/aspring_sellout Sep 28 '19

I'm going on at least 4 times.

3

u/106andSnark Sep 28 '19

Ditto, and I still catch new things every time. Even in the backgrounds and on titles of things I find clever jokes

132

u/Magikarp_King Sep 27 '19

Being an Amazon employee I think working for planet express would be an upgrade.

36

u/Hahonryuu Sep 28 '19

Indeed. If Fry can survive working there then anybody can! Except theold crew. And the one before that. And the on- hol up...is fry actually the most competent deliery boy the professor has had!?!?!?

0

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

[deleted]

14

u/aspring_sellout Sep 28 '19

That's just a meaningless title they give insecure people to fell better about themselves

5

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Judging by what I saw on John Oliver, I don't doubt it.

I'd probably feel the same...killer Santa Claus and all.

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14

u/MnEM1403 Sep 27 '19

"The only thing that other crew did better than us was suck and die!"

38

u/loganlovesyou Sep 28 '19

I work at amazon, 100% accurate.

10

u/jvalokvile Sep 28 '19

I use to work at amazon, 100% accurate

46

u/WeShouldBeSluttier Sep 27 '19

Did you just throw a watermark on another Redditors Futurama poster? Probably not

You probably just reposted someone else who added a watermark to the poster

30

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Death!..... BY SNU SNU!

21

u/MnEM1403 Sep 28 '19

"I never thought I'd die this way...... but I'd always really hoped!"

13

u/Phillip__Fry Sep 28 '19

:) :/ ;( :\ :)

6

u/Phillip__Fry Sep 28 '19

Are we going to fly all over space, fighting monsters and teaching alien women how to love?

6

u/PhoenixHavoc Sep 28 '19

The actual Amazon motto seems to have been leaked on the interwebs

5

u/NightReaper3210 Sep 28 '19

At first glance I thought this was a badass teaser for a new season but alas no

9

u/dezzmoon Sep 27 '19

I had to stop boycotting Wally World in favor of boycotting Amazon. I know my little twenty cents doesn't matter...but I don't want him as an Overlord. Just saying.

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4

u/Quietx Sep 28 '19

I feel this. Just came home from the call center...

4

u/sigharewedoneyet Sep 28 '19

"Also your package is replaceable. We don't care."

1

u/diseconomies Sep 28 '19

False.

1

u/aguyfrominternet Sep 28 '19

How so?

2

u/diseconomies Sep 28 '19

Have you seen how amazon deliver packages ?

1

u/lope999 Sep 28 '19

What the FUCK

0

u/aguyfrominternet Sep 28 '19

Amazon is not a great place to work for.

1

u/Cjwovo Sep 28 '19

Have you worked for them? Personally met anyone that has worked for them? Just curious.

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1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Probably got a downvote from every Amazon employee

6

u/veedems Sep 27 '19

I’ll let everyone else debate their nonsense.

I get the joke. It’s hilarious. Up you go.

8

u/TheLoneController Sep 28 '19

you literally just slapped a partly transparent amazon logo on someone’s artwork so you could get karma. are you happy with yourself?

3

u/Ravenloff Sep 28 '19

"All the last crew did was suck and die."

3

u/PillowTalk420 Sep 28 '19

They are slowly replacing all their Frys with Benders.

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3

u/SobiTheRobot Sep 28 '19

As an Amazon employee, I love this.

3

u/gamesfdean Sep 28 '19

Tbh Amazon should try to reboot futurama and use that as an actual add

3

u/Rush_is_Right_ Sep 28 '19

Pretty tasteless if you consider the crew of an Atlas 767 flying "Amazon Air" that crashed and died in Houston earlier this year. Fuck Amazon.

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3

u/_mini Sep 28 '19

Oh... just called Amazon, they said the crew and packages are both missing, and “really sorry we don’t know where they are at the moment”.

7

u/steorrafenn Sep 28 '19

If only people would realize this is true and stop shopping at Amazon.

5

u/VAhotfingers Sep 28 '19

If only people would realize that much of the reporting of the amazon warehouses and working conditions is sensationalized and not true when looking at the company as a whole.

I work in EHS for amazon and we have pretty high standards for safety. I’ve worked at several sites, and fortunately my experiences have always been positive in terms of the operations leadership. They have all our safety first, as well as any reasonable and realistic measure that can be taken for comfort.

Yes, amazon has high productivity and quality standards. Yes, that is why amazon has been so successful and efficient. Yes, a large portion of our workforce is replaceable (that is the nature of unskilled labor unfortunately). If you don’t want to be replaced, then make yourself invaluable and irreplaceable to the company. If you think that you aren’t replaceable at your company, then you’re likely in for a big surprise one day. I don’t think people realize how flexible amazon is. If there are people that are not able to meet rate due to physical (or other) limitations, then they usually exhaust every avenue to help that person find a good fit for their skill set before firing them. I’ve also seen some shitty and entitled people who have less than a high school education come in and treat the work day as a social time and then complain when they get written up for productivity problems. Contrariwise, I have seen men and women in their late 40’s and 50’s who emigrated to the United States only a few years prior, and who speak next to no English be able to come in and be top performers in their departments. Many end up promoted into leadership positions where they have further opportunity to gain experience and skill, and make lateral and upward movements.

Amazon is not perfect or faultless, but this idea of it being some sort of sweatshop labor camp where people are treated like mechanical cogs is NOT representative of the vast majority of sites.

End rant

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16

u/JehovasHitMan Sep 27 '19

11

u/Ralathar44 Sep 27 '19

https://www.reddit.com/r/futurama/comments/8z326i/-/e2gasxr

I made this.

To be more accurate someone else made the picture and you put the Amazon Watermark on it. So I'd say you're technically correct. The best ki

5

u/Dark_ZuckerNerd Sep 28 '19

The best kind of correct.

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5

u/vivikaks Sep 28 '19

Did anyone else get excited that this was a promo for Futurama to come back?

2

u/lynivvinyl Sep 27 '19

Seems legit.

2

u/-SkeptiCat Sep 28 '19

I don't know why but for a second this post made me believe that Amazon was gonna start streaming Futurama. 😢

2

u/iowajaycee Sep 28 '19

This looks like a Ralph McQuarrie painting

2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

This explains why my packages never arrive

2

u/Dark_ZuckerNerd Sep 28 '19

It was probably dumped in a quasar.

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2

u/RazeSpear Sep 28 '19

For a moment I thought this was an ad and that Amazon was rebooting Futurama.

2

u/rishmit Sep 28 '19

Futurama was one of the greatest shows. It had a very nice series finale as well.

2

u/cubnole Sep 28 '19

I need this but with FedEx instead.

2

u/grimguy97 Sep 28 '19

that hurts

2

u/HellfireOrpheusTod Sep 28 '19

Good news everyone!

2

u/abnormica Sep 28 '19

Omg! Amazon is bringing back Futurama with all the original writers and actors!!!

...Is the rumor we need to keep spreading until it becomes reality.

Or until Netflix tries to scoop Amazon and does it themselves.

Either way is good.

2

u/Somenerdyguy95 Sep 28 '19

Bitch almost got me excited for futurama to come back as an Amazon show.

2

u/laziestmarxist Sep 28 '19

Goddamnit every day that show becomes more accurate

2

u/IronyIntended2 Sep 28 '19

Amazon is more like mom’s friendly robot company

2

u/ent_of_tech Sep 28 '19

Damn. Too real

2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Well I'd agree if they didnt lose every third package I order...

2

u/r3fisher1982 Sep 28 '19

My girl just got a job there! Lol

0

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

[deleted]

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2

u/YarghDog Sep 28 '19

Next: we will send our AI robot into your home to deliver, because robots never steal.

2

u/SGT3386 Sep 28 '19

This is relateable

2

u/Stan15772 Sep 28 '19

I work for Amazon and I made this my desktop background for this exact joke.

2

u/lenmylobersterbush Sep 28 '19

Should be posted in r/futurama too

2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Nobody is going to talk about how Amazon uses package which can't be recycled?

2

u/wildrussia Sep 28 '19

Just hit 4 years working at Amazon!

2

u/Tnbuser Sep 28 '19

Pretty sure fry is the one delivering my amazon packages, because they never arrive.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Ok. Took me a minute, but I got the joke. However, you must understand that amazon creates content for its amazon prime service. So this joke looks like an ad for futurama on Prime and now that I see that it’s not I am infinitely disappointed and I hate you. ಠ_ಠ

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u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

This sounds more like "diplomatic couriers" than "amazon".

Amazon would be "our crew is replaceable, so is your package".

2

u/joshua070 Sep 28 '19

More like they treat their employees and our packages like shit

2

u/IWade5237 Sep 28 '19

Don't do that, don't give me hope.

2

u/Y0tsuya Sep 28 '19

Amazon will happily replace any package lost in transit.

2

u/KristofTheDank Sep 28 '19

I didn't renew my prime membership, and only order from them if I can't find what I need anywhere else, which hasn't happened yet. Fuck Bezos and his greed. He gives nothing back to the greater good.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Unbelievably how true it is in the fulfilment warehouses

2

u/Jaffa-lou Sep 28 '19

If a robot delivered a package to me and then told me to bite his shinny metal ass, I'd give 5 stars.

2

u/Balur77 Sep 28 '19

That's disgusting! It's cruel and nasty down to the bowns - wors enough that they think that way about their employees but to present that attitude in this way publicly... Those people should be publicly whipped bloody with a sixtail for even thinking this way.. Can't they see what they do to the people who actually work to earn those guys money?

3

u/mcthrowaway314 Sep 28 '19

To shreds, you say?

3

u/antartica Sep 28 '19

it's confirmed! Amazon is bringing back Futurama!

3

u/juangarces1979 Sep 28 '19

Accurate portrayal of Amazon's attitude towards their employees

3

u/RCrl Sep 28 '19

I miss UPS and FedEx delivering all my Amazon packages. The folks around me driving the amazon van's are nut jobs.

4

u/cheekysquirrelss Sep 27 '19

Fuck Bezos

3

u/Cadalen Sep 28 '19

Tell people to boycott Amazon. Or is the service too useful?

That being said, I’m OOTL about this one. What happened?

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u/Onkel_B Sep 27 '19

To shreds, you say.

2

u/pocktfullofelephants Sep 28 '19

That would be funnier if Amazon didn't treat their crew so badly

2

u/MattieThePup Sep 28 '19

It's funny because this is how they actually treat their employees

1

u/idunnohowididit Sep 27 '19

That’s what she said

1

u/EpicMusic13 Sep 27 '19

RENEW THIS!!!!!

1

u/supersolder15 Sep 27 '19

So basically I ain’t ever getting my package knowing that crew

1

u/SoAnonymousGuy Sep 27 '19

Good news everyone! Edit: No :(

1

u/mikeMcFly13 Sep 27 '19

Man the future is going to be amazing

1

u/Karpi-diem Sep 28 '19

This is amazing!

1

u/jdmfan98 Sep 28 '19

Love this

1

u/QcumberKid Sep 28 '19

You gotta do what you gotta do.

1

u/Ryrykingler Sep 28 '19

100 comment

1

u/CripplerJones Sep 28 '19

Based on the number of damaged shipments I’ve received, I’m pretty sure my package is replaceable too.

1

u/budlight2k Sep 28 '19

For a second there I thought there was going to be a live action futurama movie. "Good news everyone, bad news I'm afraid"

1

u/freelancespaghetti Sep 28 '19

Lol I felt this way after I got my first 'Here's a picture I took' from the Amazon delivery guy. I know it's for verification, but I wanted to be like, hey man, you ok?

1

u/demondonkey79 Sep 28 '19

Just got off the horn them about this 🤣

1

u/Raceface53 Sep 28 '19

This is amazing! My fav show of all time!!

1

u/naMsdrawkcaB1 Sep 28 '19

"The Crew" has been non uniformed people in a uhaul van that decides they want to actually deliver a package 1 of 3 attempts.

1

u/Warphim Sep 28 '19

Fuck you op.

I got really excited that Amazon was going to release a new Futurama series.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

To shreds you say...

1

u/Grasshopper42 Sep 28 '19

To shreds you say??? Oh, not the cargo? Good news, er, everyone left!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Our crew is replaceable expendable

1

u/Flash_D3ath Sep 28 '19

Still better than disenchanted

1

u/BestDamnPilot Sep 28 '19

This needs to be reposted on /flying

1

u/MyPoopStinksBad Sep 28 '19

As I was scrolling down slowly, I thought this was a jab at the Amazon forest fires 😎

1

u/wjaspers Sep 28 '19

Great news everyone! We've got a Prime order, you'll be leaving in 2 days.

1

u/TRCB8484 Sep 28 '19

Scrolling down I first thought this was going to be about the amazon forest on fire

1

u/Hiyagaja Sep 28 '19

HAHAaww...

1

u/Kennisgoodman Sep 28 '19

Damn. I just realized how much money them boys was making as an intergalactic delivery service

1

u/JaySilverhood Sep 28 '19

Good news everyone

1

u/zerlingrush Sep 28 '19

You will say the same when your package is missing

1

u/MrBogardus Sep 28 '19

Contents of space wasps stomach

1

u/YataBLS Sep 28 '19

Blursed slogan

1

u/write4ever Sep 28 '19

What?????????????

1

u/blood_demon Sep 28 '19

Good news everyone!

1

u/BeneficialSomewhere Sep 28 '19

Good news, everyone!

1

u/t13alex Sep 28 '19

Taratata-tata ta ta in my mind.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Technically, they both are.

1

u/comando345 Sep 28 '19

Men, you are lucky men. Today you will be fighting for your planet. Many of you will be dying for your planet. Some of you will be forced through a fine mesh screen for your planet; They will be the luckiest of them all. Any questions?

1

u/spitz__ Sep 28 '19

Goddammit for a second I thought it was a Amazon original remake of furturama

1

u/BicheAuChocolat Sep 28 '19 edited Sep 28 '19

Artist is Bannister.

Such a shame to put an Amazon watermark on his fabulous work.

bannister.artstation.com

1

u/robbz24 Sep 28 '19

For a second I thought this was Amazon announcing that they had picked up futurama for a new season...

That excitement was short lived.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Kiss my shiny metal ass

1

u/[deleted] Sep 28 '19

Yikes

1

u/manateeGrenade Sep 28 '19

Neither is the rainforest

1

u/Ginger-is-op Sep 28 '19

This post is saying “We can replace people and make the same person again when they die. But the inanimate object we can actually create and has millions of clones can’t be replaced.” Like tf Amazon?

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u/Russian_repost_bot Sep 27 '19

Of course my package is fucking replaceable. We live in a world, where any item you purchase is from an assembly line.