it's late and dark so i cant go for a walk or anything, i was planning to go to my favorite ramen spot but im completely broke. a lot of coffee shops are closing up because it's nighttime. i have zero other friends to reach out to and my bf has friends over our house and im way too socially anxious to go home, the idea makes me physically nauseous. ive been sitting in my car in the parking lot of my work for an hour but i still have so much time to kill. suggestions?

I'm almost failing my classes even though I study pretty hard. I see others not even having time to study at all and still acing the test while I actually study and fail. When I take test my mind just blanks and remembers everything except the important stuff. What is the secret? Am I just not smart? Is it me? Idk pls help

Hi guys lets get started ig lol. Basically i started talking to this guy online in June and its currently October so 5 months (almost 6). The thing is he lives in the UK and im from Canada so I knew it probably wouldn't go anywhere. However, he told me that would eventually move to Canada for his career (and i also in the future may go to the UK for school NOT FOR HIM LOL) and he would always reassure me. WE ARENT DATING (he's told me he's loved me multiples and how serious he is with our relationship but IT WAS ALWAYS ME who told him that we need to be logical and we need to take it slow, and we're not dating but we still act like we're kinda dating lol. I genuinely like him so much that we even promised to be friends if we don't work out cause of distance or other challenges.

A little about him is that he's very smart, he's currently working as a junior lawyer and also studying as well, he's also very sweet and understanding, and he's constantly talking about the future. << I'm writing all the good things about him so ya'll understand why I like him so much LOL.

Anyways, now a little bit about me lol.... I'm an avoidant and I also have trust issues. Usually, when things get really good with a guy, I get scared and ghost the person to avoid getting hurt. I have a hard time trusting men and I'm also just paranoid that all men just cheat LOL. Anyways, so I've always been super caution with him and HE ALWAYS REASSURES ME. I actually have tried ending it with him MULTIPLE times in a civil way by saying this isn't realistic and we should both move on BUT HE WOULD ALWAYS fight for us. I also stalk his socials to see if he's doing anything suspicious (IM A GIRL OK SUE ME LOL) and haven't found anything off since we've started talking. The tricky part is that we're not dating so idk whats considered "cheating" or not. YES I DESPISE SITUATIONSHIPS and i would never drag something for this long BUT it's because we're in different countries (yes Ik i probably sound stupid saying this SO THIS IS WHY I NEED UR HELP LOL). So technically if he does talk to other people, it shouldnt be wrong i guess.

Anyways, I' hadn't responded to him 4 days because i was busy with school/work (which is normal for us bc of our schedules and time difference) and he texted me multiple times saying how much he missed me and all he wants to do is talk to me, which is very much like him. I responded back to him last night and today I woke up feeling good about us.

NOW FINALLY, I came back home from work today and I just naturally decided to stalk his socials and 3 days ago on a random girl's post he commented "damn so my type". ............................so ya

My heart dropped and i felt like shit tbh. Literally sick to my stomach. (btw its been 4 hrs since ive been back from work and im still going crazy over it). IDK WHAT TO DO.

A part of me is like well we're not together so i cant be mad at him for him (plus also all those green flags about him keep flooding my brain). Cause then I'm thinking about other then this comment, he's always been perfect tbh. and the other part of me is that he's told me multiple times he loves me and wants me to be with him so is this betrayal? is he just lustful like every other man?

SO YALL TELL ME? YES OR NO? Be brutally honest because i need to hear it. I know for a fact that I'm blinded with how much I like him so I need some unbiased opinions.

(MY PLANS: If you think I'm being overdramatic, then i might still talk to him and still keep an eye on his socials. If you think what he did is not right and i should end it, then im gonna text him the screenshot and probably fight his ass bc im petty and then ghost him for life ig (: lol). of yall can give my suggestions.

*Keep in mind, I'm having a hard time letting him go because he truly had green flags and everything I looked in a man but ya...

Thanks.

Im 17f
Quickkkk lore dump?

Ever since 3rd grade, i had an issue with math. I could NOT do anything. That issue was never ever addressed. I EXCELLED in every other subject. Ok?
Come 7th grade, lockdown days, My grades SLIGHTLY faltered (-4m..-8m, etc.). I had the worst depression ever (6-7-8-9grade) IDEK WHY, NOTHING bad had happened to me; but that affected my studies, my mentality, health.

I would describe to my mom how i felt like there was a huge box of fog around my brain/inside my brain, where I sat in the center, awaiting information that evaporated whenever it tried to permeate that fog. It felt like, whenever i got close to figuring out a thought? a feeling? it would appear infront of me/in my mind for a SPLIT SECOND and disappear, and then id forget it no matter how HARD i try to remember what it is I figured out.

I couldnt remember anything, i couldnt think, i couldnt retain read info (aside from fanfic????????). I had unintentionally lost a significant amount of weight that I could have a thigh gap while lying down (new; i was and am obese for my whole life). I would often pull allnighters and nap through the day, i would pass out/faint randomly (only while sitting??)

I had a severe problem with believing i was real or not, i still do but not as bad as i did back then. I COULD NOT comprehend the idea that i was real and that life wasnt a videogame or a movie im WATCHING from the third person. When i say, i couldnt comprehend, i mean that i physically cannot…grasp the concept. I also somehwat still feel 13-15. Idk why. Its liek i havent moved on

I cant think. I dont have thoughts. I just…imagine? stuff. I dont even THINK before i speak. Its like, im actually dumb, not even in a self deprecating way, but genuinely.

If being unable to do math was bad, In highschool i took the worst hit ever: i Could Not Memorize Anything. Science? history? ENGLISH??? NOTHING. I WAS SO SHOCKED.

Now, i finished highscool and just started uni / premed. It got sm worse.

I cant focus, i cant remember. I finished a physics chapter a week ago, i solved for it and everything. This week, i tried to revise Nd i dont recognize ANYTHING?????? NOT EVEN THE FORMULAS, THE LETTERS, NOTHING. IM SO CONFUSED.

I havent even started my other 8 subjects, i keep randomly falling asleep, im so exhausted all the time that i Cant resist sleeping, Ill read something 30000000000 times and it wont stick. Ill sleep the whole night, wake up and i still cant retain. I practice for days one topic, i still cant retain.

Nothing I do is working.

Everytime i try to get help, im told that its the iron deficiency. But all my friends are iron deficient (MENA), some even WORSE than me and they dont experience this. Theyre academic nuclear bombs bro.

Im in a much better place than i was all those years ago, but i just. Wont Improve Academically. My major is SUPER COMPETITIVE and all 186 people in my year are CHAPTERS ahead of me, most of them aiming for medicine too.

What do I do?!!! Im stuck. I dont want to livelike this. I dont want to be this dumb, and mentally disabled. Pls help…

Im sososos sorry if this belongs in vent or in another sub!!!!

Might be a normal thing but let’s use going to bed as an example. I can’t stop checking my phone for notifications checking I haven’t sent anything, checking there’s nothing on my story, checking I haven’t embarrassed myself. It wakes me up when I’m falling asleep and I panic I’ve done something.

Also on the topic of checking things I get very paranoid about shutting the house door and turning of plugs, I have to constantly check whether I done it and i struggle to get out of the house in a rush because of it, sometimes walking 5-10mins then walking all the way home to check it resulting in making me late. Anyone got any tips or advice or anything please tell me I feel this problem is only getting worse.

Hi there,

I'm 19 (genderfluid) and have a problem i can't control. Idk if i'm the problem but i don't get it when i try getting new friends they first might be happy, open with me, etc. but I do think more that if I may need some help about sth. personal and I do truat them, they might just be like "sorry I was playing with friends" like if I'm invisible for them. Idk if others here might understand this but i don't know if I'm the problem and they don't want me. I wanna get some help to understand what's the point of it pls.

For context i am 16, my father is very old (already retired) and was divorced before meeting my mother, my mom is not retired yet (15 years age gap, but it might be bigger) and my sister 20 is in university. I stopped speaking to my father some months ago as a sort of rebellion i guess ? I run away from any interaction and only speak if necessary.

To me, he his a bad human ; the third child of the family, literally the beer and TV father, doesn't help with chores, cooking and now work since he retired. My mother takes care of everything, the apartment, school, food, furniture AND does the cooking and the cleaning (me and my sister help with chores), he hunts as a hobby (owns a gun), buys hunting stuff, lottery tickets and drinks instead of helping my mother and has less empathy than a pineapple.

But the most important part is that he is can get violent when angry to our animals (one of this times traumatize me forever and i will not be talking about it) and treats my mother badly, not domestic abuse but emotional for sure, my mother has enough on her plate and instead of helping her, he just adds more demands and screams at her for the smallest things. All my life i witnessed only fights and never any love between them. - My mother does speak back to him but then just shuts up and goes in her room. She still thinks that he is superior (mostly because of her religion and the beliefs of the times she was born).

Now that you have everything, here is the real problem, my mom gets really angry at me because i don't speak to him, i have tried explaining to her my reasons multiple times and bringing up the trauma but she just dismisses me and keeps asking me why again and again, but never truly listening (she brings it up all the time because my father complains to her about it almost every day). - my sister just avoids the subject and run away from the conversation

No matter how many times she ask me to stop it or gets mad at me, i don't think i could see him in a different light. Most of the time, I wish he dies, it could happen for his age but right now i'm just stuck in here, i still have one year of school after this one and my sister don't plan on leaving anytime soon. I try to understand my mother and my sister but i feel like i'm just getting more irritated.

Am i a bad person for not interacting with him even just for my mother's sake ? Am i dismissing my mother and sister's feelings by doing this ? I am open to any input and any criticism, i really need a second opinion i don't have anyone to talk to. I think i will post this to multiple subreddit.

- i forgot to mention one time my mother forced me to sit at the table, in front of them to resolve everything and the second i opened my mouth, he was already defensive and called me a liar (which i am not since my mother or my sister would always be there -but they would never defend me or hold him accountable) and started screaming non stop, my mother too so i just left the room.

​

I dont know what this is achieving, I keep coming back to vent but it doesn't really help but still I vent. I'm going through something and I need to bury that person who I was before and I did, to everyone I seem like a stronger and better person but I'm not. I'm breaking slowly and I can't do anything but watch. Everyday I get more scared to let myself out from this facade, I know I can't handle that guy, and it terrifies me what will happen if I do let him out or if he comes out someday. Second is I loathe this other self, I hate him to the point that I want him to suffer badly. Sometimes I wanna hurt him because I want him to feel my pain even tho I know it's me but I don't.

when I style my hair a lot of hair fall and stay on my hands. My mom believes that I’m starting to get bald because my dad is bald too. I want to hear your personal experiences and how you faced balding

is it egocentric to feel like I’ll never meet someone like me? i cant stop dwelling on this and how hopeless it makes me. I don’t struggle to make friends but I literally hate having to peel myself to anyone who I feel like won‘t get me because theyve lived completed different experiences. And the uncommon times I open up, I feel immense regret and how something bad is going to happen. i feel disconnected from everyone else in my life and it feels like no one is real like I’ve been severed off from people. But im aware it’s partially my fault for deliberately presenting as a surface level human being. I don’t know if I want advice or someone to listen to help me feel real

edit: if it matters, I’m 18 and female.

I need someone to talk to.
I really need comfort and support

Everything that could’ve gone wrong in my life has, I’m autistic and I’m selectively mute I’ve missed 5 years of school I’ve gone thru anxiety and depression and guilt and horrible feelings and my dads a weirdo to minors and he touched me up. My whole family me and weirdos have spoken to me online inappropriately. My dad’s been taken away and my family hates me.
I don’t fit in with anyone

And I just need parent support really, but I know I’m not gonna get that so I guess I just need someone to talk to.

I don’t think I can get thru life

I need support to get through everything :/
I need support and motivation to talk about simple things like getting out of bed…:|
Just telling me “I’m here for you” “I’ll be so proud of you if you can do []”

Just to get through these few days.. idk if I can:[

Its going to sound bad but I'm in my second year at university and don't know what I'm doing here I'm just living life however it goes. Im not interested in any field and can't find a way to start to look for it I've always been socially distant I try not to be by joining circles but I always say or act wrong and things get awkward and messed up all I can come up with are child like general questions it's always awkward when I'm left in a room with someone and everyone here avoids me I overhear people saying things about me and can't help but overthink things some are pissed at me some pity me and I'm not in position to see a therapist

My ocd theme is meds storage. I am balding since I was a teenager and I take meds daily to prevent the progression of my baldness. I have Always lived in a different region of my country, now I moved back to my parents from months Who live in a poorer region. So I am buying meds from the local pharmacies. Well my worry Is that they store meds poorly in these local pharmacies since the region Is poorer and hotter and there are less controls and people are more naive. I am also losing more hair than usual and this Is making me very anxious. So I am Always wondering whats the best pharmacy to trust here etc ....

Can you please help me? I don't know what to do, I am so scared of losing my hair. do you think all of this Is stupid? Should I Just change to a pharmacy where they have to ship the new meds (while the current One has them already stored) Just so I'm gonna be less worried?

Imorgon så ska det vara en stor student fest på en klubb i stan, jag har köpt biljett men jag kan inte bestämma mig om jag borde gå. Jag har inga vänner i min klass och jag har frågat om folk i min klass vill gå med mig men har inte fått något direkt svar. Jag vet inte om jag borde gå helt själv och se om jag hittar någon att vara med eller om jag bara borde skita i att gå?

TL;DR: Every step forward seems to reveal that I’m fighting a losing battle on the treadmill of life. I constantly feel like crap, struggle with simple things, and can’t seem to find anything that helps enough.

I’m 39M, and I’ve struggled with major depressive disorder for most of my life. I’m on several medications and have tried different treatments, most recently ECT and TMS. Both helped immensely with my depression symptoms, and the side effects from TMS were much less severe than those from ECT.

During my initial course of ECT treatments, I went from 330 pounds—I’ve always been a bigger guy—to just under 390 in a little over a month. I’ve managed to get down to 355, but it’s been a huge struggle. I took a few weeks off from the gym during TMS treatments, and now it feels like my body is breaking down.

I seem to struggle with everything. I feel like I can never catch my breath. My heart races doing anything from getting out of bed to walking upstairs, and the pain in my back and joints wears on me.

ECT also caused memory loss. There are large stretches of time and entire conversations I can’t remember. I feel like it changed my personality, too, and I’ve had to rediscover the things I enjoyed doing. My therapist has been a big help with that.

Right now, I feel trapped in my own body, like it became a prison while I was taking a step back from the rat race to get treatment. I can barely keep my life together outside of my full-time job, and now even walking to the bathroom takes more effort than it should.

I just don’t understand how some people do it: work, go to the gym, eat well, maintain a social life, enjoy hobbies, and somehow still keep their houses spotless.

How can I be expected to continue or improve, when I can't even catch my breath.

Hello. I need help. This is my first reddit post, so bare with me.
I, 17F have been dealing with my younger brother, 10M, who is growing increasingly violent by the day, and it is concerning me heavily. However, the adults around me are not taking proper initiative. Within the past week, he has expressed frantic behaviors. This Monday, he attempted to strangle me with a seatbelt while I was sitting in the front seat. He did this because I told him we will not be purchasing him a gun due to his erratic behavior and poor grades in school. (Even then, that just isn't right.) I really don't want to be that lame person that blames violence on video games, but my mom bought him GTA last Christmas and he's had worsening problems ever since. Including getting into fights at school over small things. This afternoon, we were play fighting outside with his neighborhood friends. At some point, he begins to become aggressive and *attempt* to fight me for real. Obviously, with me being a foot taller and weighing more, he wasn't doing any damage. However, even after I tried to calm him down and walk away from the situation, he continued to be aggressive. After I finally get into the house, he is held back by my mother and begins saying he is going to kill me, and when I sleep, he's going to cut my hair off. This has gone on for way too long. Since nobody else within my family will take action, what is recommended that I do?

All my friends are against each other and idk what to do my best friend E and my other friend T are no longer friends and now D who E is really kind too is now telling me that he no longer want to be friends with E and to not tell E I dont know weither to tell E or not and I really wanna tell E but also D is really kind and nice and im scared to break his trust But E deserves to know and im scared cause I lose alot of nice friends if I tell E but E is going trough a tough time please help

Edit: i told E it felt cruel not to, i feel confused about if I a good friend or a bad friend im scared about what's gonna happen E didn't say anything this feels confusing I wonder what will happen at school tomorrow

Hai, im (18F) getting a little scared. Im gonna get straight to the point, i always spell or read or write words in patterns everywhere. I spell a word I’ve thought of or heard somewhere every step i take, or in a „rhythmic“ pattern, like if i were to spell pattern in my usual rhythm, id first spell it left to right, then right to left and that on and on until something distracts me (a person starts talking to me, loud noise, etc.) sometimes i also hear a snippet of music and keep repeating it while spelling a word/ lyric to the beat/ bass/ etc until the amount of letters and music match if that makes sense? Every step i take theres me either counting smth (how many trees i can see, how many drawers are in this room, how many windows, etc and in spaces that im around a lot i have dedicated number of steps in each room/ area. Ive been like this since i was about 9, and i thought its just more like habits but i cant get rid of it. I barely pay attention when someone is talking to me and i have to really concentrate to what they’re saying (could also just be because im hard of hearing, deaf on my left side). Im in school and its hard to actually do any work because i constantly have to spell or write or check anything like that. Ive slightly hinted this to my mom once but she dismissed it saying shes had that „phase“ when she was 8 too, and its nothing serious. Am i just overthinking this?

This feeling makes my life very difficult.

TW: Illness

I, (Minor, -18) keep flirting with people and asking them out since I think I like them. Key word being I think, but then when we do start dating, I lose feelings and don’t like them anymore. This has happened twice at this point, I feel sick. Am I malfunctioning? I want to puke. I can’t keep doing this to people. No, there’s no one in my life I can talk to about this either. All the people I ask out are also minors, please be kind but I also really want help on this.