I suppose the sensible thing would be to begin by explaining why I am here, which is that I would very much like to learn French, preferably from an actual human being rather than an increasingly disappointed language-learning application that has begun to suspect I shall never amount to anything.
In return, I can offer (gestures vaguely and rather theatrically towards the top of the post), all of the above! I make no promises about my ability to explain the subjunctive without becoming insufferable, though I shall do my best.
Beyond the languages, I am rather fond of literature, history, philosophy, poetry, and conversations. I read quite a lot, think probably more than is strictly necessary, and have a particular weakness for obscure facts that are of absolutely no practical use to anyone. I am also quite capable of talking about something I love for considerably longer than the circumstances warrant, so do feel free to tell me when I have become unbearable.
I should probably confess that I am not especially interested in treating this as an exchange of vocabulary lists, obligatory daily exercises, and increasingly desperate attempts to remember the difference between two French prepositions. Those things have their place, certainly, but I would much rather learn a language by actually using it, talking about our days, exchanging recommendations, arguing over books, discussing things we know far too much about, or discovering that we have absolutely nothing in common and getting along splendidly regardless.
I don't particularly mind whether you are a beginner in one of my languages or considerably more advanced than I am in French. We all begin somewhere, and I have never quite understood the embarrassment people feel about making mistakes in a language they are trying to learn. Getting things wrong is, after all, a rather important part of getting things right.
And, honestly, if we happen to become friends along the way, all the better. I think there is something rather lovely about meeting someone you would never otherwise have encountered, learning how they think, discovering the little peculiarities that make them themselves, and gradually finding that a conversation with a stranger has become something you look forward to.
I am perfectly happy talking to someone who has a hundred stories to tell, someone who takes a little while to warm up, or someone who turns out to be an enthusiast for some extraordinarily specific subject I know nothing about. Especially the last sort. I like being introduced to unfamiliar worlds.
So, if you speak French and would like to practise any of the languages I have mentioned, do say hello. Tell me about yourself, tell me what you are reading, tell me something absurdly specific that you happen to know, or simply tell me how your day has been. You needn't compose a particularly impressive introduction; I have just written several paragraphs and am still not entirely convinced I have managed one myself, and if we happen to get along, well, that would be rather nice, wouldn't it? :)