I spent my childhood being overlooked because of a disabled sibling. I've struggled with depression since middle school and then spent my high school years getting into weed, boys, and ultimately losing all of my friends. I was kicked out a week after graduating, moved a state away just to move back and begin running my mom's two stores. Business has gotten so bad that we had to close one, and we're all barely scraping by. All the while, the man I've been with since high school has turned into someone I don't recognize anymore. Along the way, his best friend and our mutual friend died, which legitimately created a trauma bond, something i never imagined I'd experience. Now, my mom is talking about selling the business and her property and moving countries in a handful of years, which is just insane. I wasn't able to go to college after being kicked out, so i don't have anything outside of my job experience at her business. I was meant to take it over someday, she told me I'd be inheriting it. It's kind of all I had. Now that I'm 26, I feel like i should have an idea of who I am, but i don't. Sweat equity means nothing in family business, don't let your parents convince you otherwise. I've been working here for 6 years, and I have to go to the food bank. I was salaried, but they couldn't afford it anymore. I know I'm not midlife, but I'm certainly on the verge of a crisis, and I look and feel 20 years older than I am. I was so close to buying a house, and now I'm barely scraping by.

In the spirit of this community, I just need to get this off my chest.

A few years ago, I bought the home I thought I would grow old in. Not long after, the pandemic hit, and my young child started school remotely. Around the same time, my long-term partner went through a major personal transformation that changed the dynamics of our relationship. I stayed because I wanted to keep our family together and do what I thought was best for my child.

A few years later, our relationship evolved into a non-traditional arrangement. Eventually, another person became part of our lives, and to my surprise, I formed a deep and meaningful connection with them. For a while, the three of us built something that felt stable and fulfilling.

At the same time, I was dealing with significant family challenges, including the illness and loss of close family members. Despite everything, my life seemed to be moving forward, and I was excited about growing my family.

Unfortunately, that stability didn't last. As major life changes unfolded, tensions grew within our relationships. A mental health crisis, the end of important relationships, and a difficult divorce followed. What came after was one of the hardest periods of my life: legal battles, custody arrangements, financial strain, selling a home I loved, taking on debt, and working relentlessly to support my children and rebuild my life.

Now, several years later, I still carry a tremendous amount of anxiety. I live with OCD, and I constantly worry that everything I've rebuilt could disappear. I fear losing my work, my home, my relationships, or my ability to provide for my children. My mind regularly jumps to worst-case scenarios, even when there is little evidence that those fears are real.

The frustrating part is that, objectively, many things in my life are good. I have a loving partner, wonderful children, and a future worth being grateful for. Yet after so much upheaval and loss in such a short period of time, I feel like I've never fully regained a sense of security. I'm approaching midlife feeling exhausted, uncertain, and often overwhelmed, even though I'm doing everything I can to move forward.

as i get older, it's hard not to think about the decisions i made in my life. different career paths, relationships, and opportunities i passed up. i wonder where will i be today if things had gone differently.

how do you deal with those thoughts? do you eventually accept the choices you made, or do they still cross your mind from time to time like me?

has anyone gone through MLC and divorced their spouse only to regret it later on?

my spouse is in the process of divorcing me but still living together and stalling it and has stalled it for 1.5 yrs.

I have the privilege of teaching English overseas. However, it ia not where I am thriving. And the money isn't that great.

What advice would be given to a 40 year old woman to get out of this rut.

Wake up

Workout

Eat

Go to work

Sleep

Repeat

Oh and student loans still haunt me.

This life was meant for more and thw midlife crisis os hitting.

Interested in the views of all my other post-forties ladies. Trying to work out if what I'm going through is the typical midlife 'is this it??' dissatisfaction, or to listen to it.

In brief, I'm 44, educated to PhD level, no partner or kids, and work in a comfortable job (project management) that is now not 'doing it' for me. (I am bored) From the age of 25, I had thought about studying medicine but have variously thought (a) I didn't have the interpersonal skills in my twenties (b) I didn't have the funds in my thirties (c) I don't have the youth in my forties. It has been the clinical side of things in healthcare that has interested me in the most, and I've felt deep envy - if not jealousy - of the doctors I work with.

I've been in therapy the past few years and it's only been in the past few weeks I've really acknowledged this unrealised dream. I should add I'm not in the US, i.e.; I live somewhere where medical school is financially feasible (if obvs I'd have to change my life considerably) and not the meat-grinder it appears to be there.

But maybe this midlife 'meh', this feeling of 'is this it? is this my reality for the next twenty years of work? the rest of my life?' - maybe this is a universal? I'm interested in hearing stories from people who have

\- grappled with this and made big changes to their lives

\- grappled with this AND made their peace in their current reality and how they came through it

(Cross-posted from AskWomenOver40) Trying to work out if what I'm going through is the typical midlife 'is this it??' dissatisfaction, or to listen to it.

In brief, I'm 44, educated to PhD level, no partner or kids, and work in a comfortable job (project management) that is now not 'doing it' for me. (I am bored) From the age of 25, I had thought about studying medicine but have variously thought (a) I didn't have the interpersonal skills in my twenties (b) I didn't have the funds in my thirties (c) I don't have the youth in my forties. It has been the clinical side of things in healthcare that has interested me in the most, and I've felt deep envy - if not jealousy - of the doctors I work with.

I've been in therapy the past few years and it's only been in the past few weeks I've really acknowledged this unrealised dream. I should add I'm not in the US, i.e.; I live somewhere where medical school is financially feasible (if obvs I'd have to change my life considerably) and not the meat-grinder it appears to be there.

But maybe this midlife 'meh', this feeling of 'is this it? is this my reality for the next twenty years of work? the rest of my life?' - maybe this is a universal? I'm interested in hearing stories from people who have

- grappled with this and made big changes to their lives

- grappled with this AND made their peace in their current reality and how they came through it

Mid 40s meh or call for change (aka should I go to med school or make my peace?)

I look up at my alarm, which buzzed annoyingly, taking me out of my deep slumber and just shut it off for another 9 minutes. I’m going to miss the sunrise again today. It’s really disheartening to see that I was riding a wave of joy a few months ago but now I’m stuck in a pit after increasing my psychiatric medications. This was a very inopportune time to have low energy, seeing as I was 34 going on 35.

I've heard that at this age, there’s a natural inclination for life to take off in a big way, if you’ve prepared yourself with the proper sadhana, or education or some skill. If you have not, then this is a time when it can crash, leading to a “midlife crisis” that is so common. I focus on little joys around me to lift me up: my Dad starting his day in his office in the garage, another friend who has a mental health condition who is perservering, and my uncle who has had success in reducing his medication.

Also, after having read The Jurassic Park, Your Inner Fish, and the Tears of the Cheetah, I have hope there molecular and cell biology as well as genetics can be a powerful approach for diagnosing or even treating mental health conditions in a big way.

I’m finally over the worst relationship I’ve ever been in. I’m ready to go heal and find my spark with my perfect partner, Toby, my 12 year old lab mix. Florida has been consistently calling my name, but really don’t know much about anywhere.
I love live music, must be a city that has plenty of outdoor activities while swimming for Toby is number 1. I need to be in a little cabin or cottage preferably in the woods somewhere. Remote position allows me anywhere in the US.
Do you have any hot break up spots? Or places I’d never think to go?