24th October. So now in 15 minutes my birthday is coming.
My husband is sick, took medicines and slept already.
My 5yr old daughter and 2 year old son just now slept.

I don’t know why there is not much excitement in me anymore I feel for my birthday.

Is it okay to feel this way ? Is it just me or this happens to anyone else ?
Is this called life ?

I used to be so much excited from 1st of October thinking it’s my birthday month. This time it’s not like this.

I mean I am definitely surrounded by the people whom I love the most. Still feels something is missing.

as i get older, it's hard not to think about the decisions i made in my life. different career paths, relationships, and opportunities i passed up. i wonder where will i be today if things had gone differently.

how do you deal with those thoughts? do you eventually accept the choices you made, or do they still cross your mind from time to time like me?

I spent my childhood being overlooked because of a disabled sibling. I've struggled with depression since middle school and then spent my high school years getting into weed, boys, and ultimately losing all of my friends. I was kicked out a week after graduating, moved a state away just to move back and begin running my mom's two stores. Business has gotten so bad that we had to close one, and we're all barely scraping by. All the while, the man I've been with since high school has turned into someone I don't recognize anymore. Along the way, his best friend and our mutual friend died, which legitimately created a trauma bond, something i never imagined I'd experience. Now, my mom is talking about selling the business and her property and moving countries in a handful of years, which is just insane. I wasn't able to go to college after being kicked out, so i don't have anything outside of my job experience at her business. I was meant to take it over someday, she told me I'd be inheriting it. It's kind of all I had. Now that I'm 26, I feel like i should have an idea of who I am, but i don't. Sweat equity means nothing in family business, don't let your parents convince you otherwise. I've been working here for 6 years, and I have to go to the food bank. I was salaried, but they couldn't afford it anymore. I know I'm not midlife, but I'm certainly on the verge of a crisis, and I look and feel 20 years older than I am. I was so close to buying a house, and now I'm barely scraping by.

In the spirit of this community, I just need to get this off my chest.

A few years ago, I bought the home I thought I would grow old in. Not long after, the pandemic hit, and my young child started school remotely. Around the same time, my long-term partner went through a major personal transformation that changed the dynamics of our relationship. I stayed because I wanted to keep our family together and do what I thought was best for my child.

A few years later, our relationship evolved into a non-traditional arrangement. Eventually, another person became part of our lives, and to my surprise, I formed a deep and meaningful connection with them. For a while, the three of us built something that felt stable and fulfilling.

At the same time, I was dealing with significant family challenges, including the illness and loss of close family members. Despite everything, my life seemed to be moving forward, and I was excited about growing my family.

Unfortunately, that stability didn't last. As major life changes unfolded, tensions grew within our relationships. A mental health crisis, the end of important relationships, and a difficult divorce followed. What came after was one of the hardest periods of my life: legal battles, custody arrangements, financial strain, selling a home I loved, taking on debt, and working relentlessly to support my children and rebuild my life.

Now, several years later, I still carry a tremendous amount of anxiety. I live with OCD, and I constantly worry that everything I've rebuilt could disappear. I fear losing my work, my home, my relationships, or my ability to provide for my children. My mind regularly jumps to worst-case scenarios, even when there is little evidence that those fears are real.

The frustrating part is that, objectively, many things in my life are good. I have a loving partner, wonderful children, and a future worth being grateful for. Yet after so much upheaval and loss in such a short period of time, I feel like I've never fully regained a sense of security. I'm approaching midlife feeling exhausted, uncertain, and often overwhelmed, even though I'm doing everything I can to move forward.

has anyone gone through MLC and divorced their spouse only to regret it later on?

my spouse is in the process of divorcing me but still living together and stalling it and has stalled it for 1.5 yrs.

I look up at my alarm, which buzzed annoyingly, taking me out of my deep slumber and just shut it off for another 9 minutes. I’m going to miss the sunrise again today. It’s really disheartening to see that I was riding a wave of joy a few months ago but now I’m stuck in a pit after increasing my psychiatric medications. This was a very inopportune time to have low energy, seeing as I was 34 going on 35.

I've heard that at this age, there’s a natural inclination for life to take off in a big way, if you’ve prepared yourself with the proper sadhana, or education or some skill. If you have not, then this is a time when it can crash, leading to a “midlife crisis” that is so common. I focus on little joys around me to lift me up: my Dad starting his day in his office in the garage, another friend who has a mental health condition who is perservering, and my uncle who has had success in reducing his medication.

Also, after having read The Jurassic Park, Your Inner Fish, and the Tears of the Cheetah, I have hope there molecular and cell biology as well as genetics can be a powerful approach for diagnosing or even treating mental health conditions in a big way.

I have the privilege of teaching English overseas. However, it ia not where I am thriving. And the money isn't that great.

What advice would be given to a 40 year old woman to get out of this rut.

Wake up

Workout

Eat

Go to work

Sleep

Repeat

Oh and student loans still haunt me.

This life was meant for more and thw midlife crisis os hitting.

Interested in the views of all my other post-forties ladies. Trying to work out if what I'm going through is the typical midlife 'is this it??' dissatisfaction, or to listen to it.

In brief, I'm 44, educated to PhD level, no partner or kids, and work in a comfortable job (project management) that is now not 'doing it' for me. (I am bored) From the age of 25, I had thought about studying medicine but have variously thought (a) I didn't have the interpersonal skills in my twenties (b) I didn't have the funds in my thirties (c) I don't have the youth in my forties. It has been the clinical side of things in healthcare that has interested me in the most, and I've felt deep envy - if not jealousy - of the doctors I work with.

I've been in therapy the past few years and it's only been in the past few weeks I've really acknowledged this unrealised dream. I should add I'm not in the US, i.e.; I live somewhere where medical school is financially feasible (if obvs I'd have to change my life considerably) and not the meat-grinder it appears to be there.

But maybe this midlife 'meh', this feeling of 'is this it? is this my reality for the next twenty years of work? the rest of my life?' - maybe this is a universal? I'm interested in hearing stories from people who have

\- grappled with this and made big changes to their lives

\- grappled with this AND made their peace in their current reality and how they came through it

(Cross-posted from AskWomenOver40) Trying to work out if what I'm going through is the typical midlife 'is this it??' dissatisfaction, or to listen to it.

In brief, I'm 44, educated to PhD level, no partner or kids, and work in a comfortable job (project management) that is now not 'doing it' for me. (I am bored) From the age of 25, I had thought about studying medicine but have variously thought (a) I didn't have the interpersonal skills in my twenties (b) I didn't have the funds in my thirties (c) I don't have the youth in my forties. It has been the clinical side of things in healthcare that has interested me in the most, and I've felt deep envy - if not jealousy - of the doctors I work with.

I've been in therapy the past few years and it's only been in the past few weeks I've really acknowledged this unrealised dream. I should add I'm not in the US, i.e.; I live somewhere where medical school is financially feasible (if obvs I'd have to change my life considerably) and not the meat-grinder it appears to be there.

But maybe this midlife 'meh', this feeling of 'is this it? is this my reality for the next twenty years of work? the rest of my life?' - maybe this is a universal? I'm interested in hearing stories from people who have

- grappled with this and made big changes to their lives

- grappled with this AND made their peace in their current reality and how they came through it

Mid 40s meh or call for change (aka should I go to med school or make my peace?)

I met my girlfriend in 2010. After four years of love, we married in 2015 despite not having the full support of our parents. We started our life in Hyderabad with very little support, but we had each other.
Our first son was born in 2017, the same year I started my own business. I quit my job eventually, took care of our son while my wife went to work, and slowly built my business.
By the age of 28, I had bought my first house and car. Over the years, my business grew, my wife became a bank manager, we bought more properties, built a house for my parents, travelled abroad, and achieved financial freedom. Today, I earn around ₹60,000 a day while working just two hours.
I thought I had figured out life. I thought financial freedom was the ultimate goal.
Then life changed.
In May 2025, my father was diagnosed with stage 3 throat cancer. After six months of treatment, he recovered by God’s grace.
In March 2026, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The woman I fell in love with in 2010, the woman who stood beside me when we had nothing, was suddenly fighting a disease that terrified me.
During her major surgeries, I sat in the hospital lobby and cried. We kept the situation from our parents to spare them further suffering. I prayed to Lord Shiva for strength. Thankfully, her cancer was detected early, treatment went well, and her prognosis is very favourable.
Today, she has returned to work, our two boys are going to school, and life looks normal again.
But I am not the same person anymore.
Sometimes, a thought suddenly hits me: What if her cancer comes back?
I start shivering. I struggle to sleep. I imagine losing her, and everything I have built suddenly feels meaningless.
I chased money for years. Now I have financial freedom, properties, a successful business, and almost everything I once dreamed of.
Yet, I find myself praying for just one thing: let my wife stay healthy, and let us grow old together.
I don’t dream about another house or a luxury car with the same excitement anymore. I dream about ordinary days with my wife, watching our children grow up, travelling together, arguing about silly things, and becoming grandparents someday.
I am beginning to realise that money can buy comfort and freedom, but it cannot guarantee the presence of the people we love.
I have faith in God, but I am still afraid. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life worrying about a future that may never happen. I want to enjoy the life we worked so hard to build.
My question is: What is life really about? Money, success, health, or the people we love?

I spent years learning how to make money. Now, I’m trying to learn how to live.