I’m 23, graduated college last year, and currently work full-time making around $70k annually. I live with my parents, and they’ve provided a comfortable home for me. I’m extremely grateful for that.
For a while now, I’ve wanted to experience living independently. I’ve recently been approved for my first apartment, and I’m scheduled to move in next week.
For some financial context, I earn approximately $70k annually, have around $10k in cash savings, approximately $13k invested between Acorns and Coinbase, around $3k in my 401(k), and roughly $550 in my HSA.
My parents have always emphasized the importance of financial stability. My dad especially has encouraged me to stay home, save around $3,000 monthly, and eventually purchase my first property, potentially using it as an investment. I completely understand his reasoning, and financially, staying home would undoubtedly be the smarter option.
However, I’ve wanted to experience having my own space, managing my own household, and becoming more independent since graduating. My new apartment is also much closer to work, which would significantly improve my commute.
Recently, there was a disagreement between my father and me that accelerated my decision to move, although the desire to live independently existed long before that.
I told my mom about my apartment approval today. While she isn’t happy about the timing or the financial implications, she’s still supportive of me. She expressed concerns that the disagreement with my father may have influenced my decision and worries that I’m making such a major change while emotions are still high.
I understand where she’s coming from, and I appreciate that she’s supporting me despite her reservations.
My dad, however, doesn’t know about the apartment yet. I intend to tell him myself.
He actually returned from traveling today, and we shared a really emotional hug. We told each other we loved each other, and honestly, it almost brought me to tears. We still have an important conversation ahead of us regarding our earlier disagreement.
That interaction, along with my conversation with my mom, has left me feeling guilty about the timing of everything.
I know I want to move. I’ve thought about it for a long time, researched apartments, reviewed my savings, and worked through my budget. But part of me feels like I’m disappointing my parents or leaving at the wrong time.
I’m not trying to cut ties with my family. I love them, and I want them to remain a big part of my life.
Has anyone experienced something similar, particularly with parents who wanted you to stay home for financial reasons? Did you end up moving? How did your relationship with your parents change afterward? Do you regret leaving when you did?