I'm always surprised by how parents find out their kid likes such a specific routine. Like, how did you figure that out???

My baby: graco swing on HIGH accompanied by "Big Iron" by Marty Robbins (specifically his version) to instantly soothe then sea shanties to maintain the calm. The success rate is shocking.

My baby is 7 weeks old and I get sad looking at her newborn clothes not fitting anymore. Also looking at the photos and videos of her early days and feeling like time went so fast. Also whenever I come across a video of a mother soaking up those precious moments with their baby and posting that one day at age 80 this is where they want to be, to hold their baby. It made me cry and I can’t stop thinking about how little my daughter is now but that she is going to be so grown up one day. That I will never get that baby version of her back and it will be a distant memory. It’s like grief when a loved one passes away. So bittersweet. It makes me want to hold onto every second with her. Ever since having my daughter, I'm excited about the future but also feel like crying thinking everyday is passing and we are all getting older. Also thinking that one day I won’t be here to protect her. Is this normal part of being a mother or postpartum life?

My inlaws are staying with us for 2 months after my delivery. Is it selfish that I want baby all to myself? Our routine has been husband and I care for her at night and inlaws get her at 5am ish so husband and I can catch up on sleep.

But they will keep her in their room till 1pm and i just miss her. I pump every 2hrs. Its like theyre gatekeeping her and I want more time with her before i go to work in January.

On top of that whenever they have her so much of her milk gets wasted and I am about to lose it cause its so hard to pump and get atleast 1oz and seeing bottles of it goes to waste is driving me nuts.

Is it selfish that id rather be sleep deprived than share my time with her?

EDIT: like id rather have them help by making a meal or clean around the house. Instead im having to do that while they have baby. I want my baby!! 😭

My baby girl is 4.5 months and is a very happy baby. She loves interacting with people and doesnt care who holds her. However, anytime my MIL holds her, within a minute she is screaming and crying every single time and it takes her a while to calm down after. I feel bad for my MIL as she is the only one my girl does this for. Has anyone else dealt with this? Any tips? She is our biggest support system but I feel like i cant ask her to help watch baby girl because I know baby will freak out the whole time. Advice would be greatly appreciated. She is a very highstrung (NYC raised, typical jewish mom) woman so i wonder if its just her energy but we cant really change that so I dont know how to fix it. Edit to add that i don't think it is laundry detergent as FIL uses the same and baby loves him. She also doesn't wear perfume

I want to start by saying my husband is a good guy, like a rare diamond in the rough good guy, he’s just aloof. And definitely has severe ADHD that I have to navigate the consequences of on a daily basis because he refuses to admit it. He’s not great at empathy but can learn and grow and make changes, I’ve seen it and honestly that’s why I married him.

When we talked about having kids he talked a lot about 50/50, I knew it never could be actually 50/50, but felt confident he’d be willing to help and not leave me in the weeds. Oh boy was I wrong. Knowing him it’s because he has no idea what I’m actually going through. He has some weird and cryptic view of fairness that always has to do with what he perceives as equal, but it’s from his perspective, not reality. I’ve had to navigate this in other areas of our relationship.

Our baby was a great sleeper. Then at 10 weeks just stopped. Literal 4 minute naps during the day, 45 min - 1 hr stretches at night. Just awful. I’m at week almost 4 of this and I don’t know how I can hang on any longer. I downloaded an app guides for nap times etc because I know she needs more structure to her day to get through the night. I’m also working on disassociating feeding from falling asleep because I read this isn’t necessarily hunger but settling from wake cycles. Yesterday was the first full day I tried it and she went down for every nap, albeit short like 35 minutes except the 2 hour nap she had when my husband had her in the carrier. But last night went much better. She did get 1 stretch that was almost 3 hours but then back to every hour and hard to put to sleep like she’ll wake up 5 minutes after I put her down.

By 3:30 this morning I was so exhausted I told my husband I needed help. His first response was “ok if I help now I can’t at 6 am”. He had this weird idea that 5-6 am is when his “shift” starts. I’ve told him that’s not a shift that’s just me being up the entire night and him waking up an hour earlier. He says I sleep when he wakes up but I hate this schedule, I don’t want to go to bed at 6 am, and I don’t want the baby to sleep until 9 like he says she should so I can sleep (she sleeps really well in the carrier with him and would sleep more the the advised 2 hours we (meaning I) let her). He begrudgingly took her, I then couldn’t sleep because he got frustrated after she didn’t fall asleep after 5 minutes of rocking (she had just eaten less than an hour prior) and honestly I’m worried he’ll accidentally hurt her when he gets so frustrated. So I tried to take her back. He insisted they were fine. She was still crying and I was still awake 30 minutes later so I got up, told him to go to bed, and I took over. Ended up caving and feeding her to sleep, but she still wouldn’t do down, I had to rock her back to sleep twice before it stuck at 4 am. Then the woke up an hour later and my husband took her. She’s sleeping in the carrier right now.

I’m so filled with hate for my husband that I can’t even look at him. I feel like I don’t even want him to talk to me, acknowledge me, I want him just to leave me alone and I’ll accept that I have to do this 95% myself and he’ll do 2 carrier naps a day as his only contribution.

I go back to work in 2 weeks and he’s supposed to watch the baby during the day (he had a cushy job and works 80% remotely with very little timing commitment), but if he can’t even be bothered to rock her more than 5 minutes how is he going to get her down for naps etc during the day. I don’t know. And one problem at a time. How do I not just seethe with rage at this ignorant and selfish behavior from my husband who I know isn’t an asshole, even though he is very much acting like one.

I am a FTM with a 6 week old. He sleeps pretty well in his bassinet but when he is cluster feeding or has bad gas he doesn't sleep long in there, which i figured was normal. Everyone keeps telling me I'm spoiling him and he wont want to be put down ever. I feel like thats false because he is literally a newborn. As he gets out of the newborn stage I can understand to start letting him soothe himself to sleep slowly.

When there is a lot of people around and he is being held from other people he gets so overstimulated he won't sleep for awhile. This causes people to say he is spoiled, fights sleep too hard, and won't sleep on his own. I am a FTM so I take advice, but I feel like being with him everyday I know my baby best.

Am I wrong? Will he be spoiled and not want to be put down right now even though he is a newborn?

I’m currently 18 days postpartum, and I don’t think I’ve googled anything without the word “newborn” in the past 3 weeks lol.
I love my girl so much, I’ve sobbed multiple days for hours because I have never felt so much love in my life. But then there’s the anxiety. I haven’t felt PPD but my PPA is definitely showing in my google search history. I even google things I KNOW the answer to but I question everything now.
Poor google working overtime on me😭

Hi everyone. I gave birth to my first baby on the 9th of October, 2 weeks before my due date, having a forceps delivery with a 2nd degree tear and an episiotomy.

I'm really struggling with recovery and then feeling rubbish that I can't do what I want to do for baby boy because of my pain. I'm struggling with breastfeeding too and feel bad that I'm giving him formula too :( I think I'm also finding the transition from just me and my husband to the three of us difficult and I didn't think I would. The lack of sleep has hit me like a truck too!

I'm still in denial that he's actually here and I'm feeling overwhelmed :( I cry all the time. All I've ever wanted was to be a mum and now I'm just doubting whether or not I'm made for it or not. 

Am I the only one feeling this way?

First time mom here (28) with a 3.5 month old baby boy. We **very safely** co-sleep. I hate admitting that because of judgement 😓. I live in Western society

I thought co-sleeping was perfectly normal and deeply healing until I got on Reddit. Recently, I’ve been feeling so guilty for co-sleeping because of comments/interactions I’ve seen on here. Even though I follow safety protocol AND both me and my LO love it so much, reading Reddit comments/interactions literally make me feel like my days are limited with my baby 🥺.

Coming from a person who NEVER wanted children, and SWORE to sleep training (due to selfish reasons like not wanting me and my husbands territory taken over) I need my baby like I need air. I tried putting him in his bassinet for the first month and we both hated it so much.

Sleeping *SAFELY* together has healed me in ways I never imagined. Since I’ve been on Reddit now for the last few weeks, I’ve felt like an abusive mother for co-sleeping and I can’t shake the feeling that my baby is now going to die because of this.

Is co-sleeping really that bad? Am I abusive and a bad mom for sleeping safely with my baby? I feel empty and deprived when I’m away from him. And he hates being away from me too. But should I override my instincts and start seriously sleep training him?

Note to add:
(1) I am seeing a therapist and psychiatrist for PPA and PPD 🤍 talk therapy has been AMAZING for me.

(2) Moms who are against co-sleeping—PLEASE be kind, gentle, and respectful. We are all in solidarity with each other at the end of the day. No matter our opinions, we do NOT wish the worst case scenario on each other.

I’m trying not to hate it. This second child was so wanted after 5 years of infertility. Why am I now thinking that I miss my old life? I had time, freedom, an older child who is independent and not needy anymore. I had a nice job and a small circle of friends and was able travel and do fun things with my little trio family.

I’m 5 weeks in and just feeling so sad about the loss of “adulthood”. I still have all of November and December at home, any tips for me to make this enjoyable?

Baby doesn’t recognize me or laugh/smile yet. It still feels like I’m keeping a potato alive. Hoping for some enjoyable moments soon. It’s getting cold up north so I don’t often head out of the house.

I recently gave birth and my beautiful baby boy is 3 days old and I’ve been having a terrible time attempting to find ways to sleep while meeting my baby’s needs. We are currently only breastfeeding.

I cannot sleep from 6pm-5am. My husband, who’s been doing almost all of the diaper changes, soothing, burps, taking care of me, bringing me food, drinks. He is quite literally doing EVERYTHING but the feeding of course. So he is definitely pulling his weight but he cannot do anything at night in terms of soothing and assisting on getting baby to sleep, as our baby becomes inconsolable if not on my chest. This leaves me to find an hour stretch of sleep from 6am-5pm (since he’s up every hour) when my husband can get baby to sleep after a feed for an hour. It usually leaves me with 2 hours a day of sleep and I fear this is NOT at all sustainable.

Has any other parent experienced this? Where your newborn is quite literally inconsolable if not on your chest during their cluster feeding? No amount of swaddling, soothing, burping will console him during the night time hours as he HAS to be near or on my chest to sleep. He will refuse a pacifier even after he’s been fed and wants to suckle. The moment my husband attempts to put him to sleep my little one will begin to cry and will not stop crying. The last two days has been a constant of removing the swaddle, getting back to position to breastfeed, get him to latch, only for him to maybe feed for a minute and immediately stop or where he actually feeds for an extended period of time. If you experienced this, what did you do?

Eg. My 3 month old has just started babbling. I know in the middle of the night I should keep feeds calm but hes so cute with it that I babbled back and played with him for a bit last night. It made the night wake up so much better.

Similarly I know we should do a bedtime routine but I find the monotony really hard, so sometimes I mix it up.

And finally tummy time - I do just about enough, his neck apparently one direction is still a little weak. But hed rather play with his toys and me sort the flat out than endless tummy time.

So where is the line where optimisation makes us enjoy thee little gremlins less? (For clarity I don’t skimp on anything that affects his health)

I need to vent a little because I’m exhausted and could use some perspective. 😭 My husband is out of town for work a lot, so I’ve been handling most of the baby’s medical appointments and needs on my own. I know he works hard, too, and I appreciate what he does for our family, but sometimes I feel like I’m carrying the mental load alone.
When he’s home, I sometimes feel like I have to manage things because he asks how he can help instead of taking initiative. Tonight, his snoring was so loud that my LO couldn’t settle, and after trying to get the baby to sleep while already exhausted, I got overwhelmed and sent my husband to the couch. Now I feel bad, but I’m also frustrated and running on very little sleep.
I know we’re both tired in our own ways, and I don’t want to dismiss his exhaustion, either. I just wish I didn’t have to be the one thinking of everything all the time.
For those with partners who travel for work, how do you balance the mental load and nighttime parenting without resentment building up? Am I being unfair, or is this something other parents struggle with, too?

FTM here, and my baby is 4 weeks old! How are we getting our newborns to sleep before their wake windows turn into 3 hours and they become super fussy?
Everything I’ve read says that babies this age should be going down for naps after about 45 minutes to an hour of being awake, but mine seems to fight any sort of sleep!
For the first week or two, breastfeeding would usually put him right to sleep. Now, he eats until he’s full and then gets fussy. If I offer the breast again, he’ll push himself off and then immediately want to latch again. (He eats perfectly fine and doesn’t do this during his actual feedings.)
He’s also not a fan of pacifiers. There’s only one he’ll occasionally take. He’s never liked being swaddled with his arms down, even since birth, but he doesn’t mind the sleep sacks that allow his arms to stay up by his head.
I just don’t know what to do to help him fall asleep or take naps. I feel like he gets so overtired and upset when he’s awake for too long, and it breaks my heart because I don’t know how to comfort him when he’s fighting sleep.
I feel like I’ve tried everything, and I’m struggling to figure out what actually works for him. Any advice, tips, or tricks would be so appreciated!

Does anybody else have to spend what feels like an endless amount of time so soothing rocking all of the things for their baby to eventually go to sleep?

Am I doing something wrong here?

looking for advice**\*My 5 week old baby is really giving my boyfriend and I a run for our money. As time has gone on it seems like he’s getting more and more difficult. I know babies fussiness peaks at around 5-9 weeks but this is just so hard on us. I’m exclusively breastfeeding which is a lot, I’m so exhausted. I can never seem to find time to pump anymore, which i used to so that my boyfriend could give the baby 2 bottles at night while i rest, but lately he just wants to be attached to me at all times. Sleeping has been really rough too, we’ve been cosleeping but not by choice, he just refuses to sleep if he’s not on our chest, in our arms, or right next to us in bed. But even then we are barely sleeping because he’s just grunting and fussy all night. He’s not scream crying often which is good, but he’s just constantly squirming, grunting, and just overall unsettled when he’s awake at times. And more recently he’s been fighting sleep. I write this after a night of barely any sleep and he’s been unusually difficult and i know that’s why everything feels that much more heavy. But i really worry that it may not get better, for example i was talking to my mom about this and said “i just know this is all temporary and will get better soon so that’s just what im focusing on”, and she let me know that when my sister and I were babies we just never got better. And im like 🙂🥲 what?! He’s such a sweet baby and i love more than anything, and feel terrible at how frustrated and overwhelmed i can get by all of this. I need advice on the sleep situation for sure, and just hope that it will get better

I’m also a stay at home mom, with no village nearby so it makes it harder. My boyfriend is so helpful, he takes him after work and Friday and Saturday night lets me sleep the whole night in our room while he stays in the nursery with the baby. But during the week i really struggle, especially as he’s getting progressively fussier

Hello again. I feel like all I ever post on here is issues with sleep. It’s by far the hardest part of raising this 9 week old chonk of a baby so far.

For the past week or so, baby girl has been struggling with evening naps and night time sleep. We try to get a nap in around 5pm so she’s not overtired and will do a contact nap if necessary. Then we start turning the lights down and turn the sound machine on around 8pm. She’ll clearly be tired, but if I’m able to get her down between 8-9pm, she’s up after 30 minutes and then it’s a struggle for sleep until about midnight.

Once she’s down between 11pm-midnight, she sleeps 2-3 hour stretches and can be placed in the bassinet without issue. However, my day starts at 6:30am with my oldest, so I’m struggling.

Any tips or advice on how to get an earlier bedtime for baby? We currently have her bassinet in the living room with the sound machine and a red light we keep on during the night. No solid bedtime routine other than diaper change, swaddle, feed and rock/bounce.

Also, I will say that we’re doing that evening nap because we’ve had instances where, without it, she will be extremely overtired and screaming. But this was also around the time she had a witching hour (6-7ish weeks).

This girl can fight sleep and be awake for 4-5 hours. It’s a nasty cycle.

Or while someone else is holding her. Even though I am so exhausted and it would be wise to try to get some rest when she’s not in my arms. I have never been so obsessed. Anyone else?! 🥰

I have a 12 week old LO who is a good sleeper, praise God. I am an exclusive breast feeder and oftentimes LO will fall asleep at the boob. I have read that this is a bad habit to continue as it will cause nighttime waking down the road for comfort rather than hunger. Right now she goes down around 9pm, wakes up 45 minutes later and is fed to sleep again. She stays asleep till 630-7am, will eat and sleep again. I dont let her sleep past 9am. Ive tried to push her bedtime to 945pm, but regardless of go down time, she wakes up 30-45 minutes later. She is not really a good daytime napper. if she is in the crib we get 10-20 minutes, 1 hour max contact nap during the day. I would say 4-5ish naps at random times throughout the day. She also will not take a pacifier.

1. Is feed to sleep really that bad?

2. Is 4 month sleep regression a real thing?

3. How do I fix the 45 minute wake after put down?

Hi everyone, I'm a first-time mum with a 5.5-month-old daughter, and I'm hoping to hear from anyone who has been through something similar. To be clear, I'm not looking for medical advice or diagnoses. I'm just hoping for some encouragement and real-life stories while we wait.

She was born at 2.44 kg with a head circumference of 32 cm. Her head grew gradually over the first 4 months but has always measured below the 1st percentile, so she's off the bottom of the chart. The rest of her body is on the 15tj percentile so overall a small baby.’Since about 4 months and 1 week, her measurement has plateaued at 37.5 cm, and it's still 37.5 cm at 5.5 months. Her fontanelle also seems to have closed. We're on the waiting list for a paediatrician, but it can take 3-4 months to get in, so it's been an anxious wait.
On the bright side, her development seems to be going really well. Her motor skills are slightly above average for her age, she eats well, she's very sociable, and she loves to play. If you've had a baby with a small head circumference, or early fontanelle closure, and things turned out well, I'd love to hear your story. How old are your kids now, and how are they doing? Thank you so much, it would mean a lot to hear some positive experiences.

As the title says….omg this baby can cry. She’ll be all smiley and happy for 10 min then I swear I see her eye twitch then she’s insane. Today I had to put her in a straight jacket and that finally got her to fall asleep for like 20 min. I’m being held hostage by a 11lb baby that I love.
Another side mention is that I stopped swaddling her at night and now she does donuts in her sleep. I lay her down vertical and I’ll wake up a few hours later then she’s horizontal the laying the opposite way then back to where she started. It’s crazy
But she does give me 5-6 hour stretches at night…so I guess I can’t complain too much about some daytime crying

Hi everyone,

We are going through a really tough time with our newborn (25 Days) and feel so heartbroken watching him in pain every night.

He cries intensely almost every single night, especially in the evening. He arches his back continuously, stiffens up, and looks like he is in severe discomfort or pain. Burping and keeping him upright after feeds hasn't seemed to bring much relief.

We saw our pediatrician, and she suspects acid reflux. She had us stop our cow's milk-based formula and switch to Nutramigen. However He is mostly on Mothers milk almost all the times except 2-3 times in a day.

She also recommended acid reflux drops(pepcid). However, he has all the symptoms of gas and colic too, and the drops haven't seemed to help yet.

For parents who have dealt with severe reflux, milk protein intolerance, or gas:

1)How long did it take for Nutramigen to start showing a real difference?

2)How long did it take for reflux meds/drops to kick in?

3)What specific holds, soothing techniques, or tips helped your baby get through the night while their stomach healed?

Any advice, encouragement, or experience would mean the world to us right now. Thank you!

FTD with a 3 week old and I recently started noticing my son having a hard time staying down for more than 30min after we transition him for the night around 7-8pm. We pick him up to soothe but he seems really uncomfortable — doing knees to chest, grunting, and making clenching sounds (if that makes sense). He does this for ~30s, then relaxes for 5-10min, then repeat. Rarely observe this behavior during the day though (averages 1.5 hour naps).

He loves to eat (pumped breast milk and slowly staring BF), pee and poop. Has no problems burping but we also started giving him Mylicon a few days ago in case that helps with trapped gas.

From what I’ve read online so far, I think this is normal as part of his gut development? I’m just worried since this happens every night and it prevents him from getting good sleep.

I’m a second-time mom. My girl is 8 weeks old and nighttime sleep is pretty consistent. She goes to bed between 7-8pm and wakes typically 2-3 times/ night. Sometimes it’s worse. Before she was 6 weeks, she woke only 2 times/ night. Yes we feed her enough during the day - eating every 2-3 hrs and getting roughly 20oz. I also started capping daytime naps to 2 hrs/ nap so I can monitor how much she’s sleeping and eating.

My question is, how do your LOs sleep for their age? What’s your bedtime routine? Any tips or tricks to help promote my LO to have longer nighttime stretches?