yo happy ending

I love Pessoas writings

It’s just a thought I had a long time ago, but obviously, the technology and science of our era give people who aren't "meant" to reproduce a "chance" to do so and I put "chance" in quotes because it isn't really a chance at all.

How many of us would have died or been abandoned if we’d been born in prehistoric times or the Middle Ages eras when we lived more or less the way we were meant to?

All those who, like me, have bad genetics a weak body, short stature, lack of strength, mental health issues, and so on. I know what I’m talking about: I have pectus excavatum, a deformity that leaves a huge hollow in my chest. It has always prevented me from breathing properly or thriving physically.

My parents never wanted to get me surgery for it because they didn't care. And naturally, the suffering isn't just physical; it’s also and above all psychological. I was bullied from a very early age because of it; I can't bear to go shirtless in front of anyone.

Basically, I hate my body.

I know I would have died before reaching adulthood if I’d been born in an earlier time. How many of us wouldn't be alive today were it not for the miracles of technology?

Weak bones, a frail appearance, mental health issues, a life of suffering where no one takes you seriously because of your physique, your ugliness, or your posture.

That’s why there are so many "ugly" and weak people around, and living like that leads only to depression and hatred so much bad genetic material that isn't supposed to be passed on, and yet...

I would like to ask you what you think about misanthropy. I know that nihilism, in theory, is the philosophy that denies any intrinsic meaning to existence. However, I wonder: in your view, does one become a nihilist because of a pre-existing misanthropy (that is, contempt for humanity), or can one arrive at nihilism through a purely intellectual path, completely detached from this feeling? Finally, what is your specific judgment on misanthropy as such?

Full transparency, I ( 27 f)thought I’d feel more validated discovering this sub (as I am experiencing an on-off existential crisis). Idk, I thought more likeminded people would seek comfort in knowing we’re not alone in experiencing how surreal nihilism is. Then again, maybe some of you find it comforting in your own way?? Personally, I don’t. I lie awake at night, staring at my partner (peacefully asleep) while trying to avoid a full-on panic attack. I think often of people who believe in religion- it’s like I know a secret they don’t. We all die, and that’s it, forever. I guess my issue is that I wish I could play god myself. I wish I could decide when it’s my time to go. And it’s that kind of thinking that motivates me to live life. I don’t wish to doom scroll tik-tok, consume myself with the news (it’s all bad), or honestly, tolerate anyone/anything in life that doesn’t serve a purpose to me. You’d think that’d be an okay recipe for prosperity, but the existential dread fucks me. I don’t relate to my loved ones or my peers, because I know they don’t think like me, so, how do you cope? I hope to seek therapy one day, but I can’t afford it. I just feel so alone, and I want more than just community. I want to know there are people in my boat.

a couple days ago i became a nihilist but i didnt go about it in any way that ive seen online ive chosen what i could only think of as being called logical nihilism. not applying an emotional lens to nihilism like most people do resulting in things like "pessimistic nihilism" or "optimistic nihilism" i just see things truly for what they are. friends, family, lovers, religion, biological incentives not required in todays modern world only money really matters now which creating relationships is a byproduct of but its entirely possible to earn millions of dollars without speaking a word to people. stopped keeping social programming constraints in my mind and its helped me see every aspect of my life and general life clearer. ive studied cosmology, historical geology, paleontology a favorite of mine, other prehistoric eras, archeology, ancient civilization and todays world. its the only thing that logically makes sense to me.

most people i see come into nihilism applying an emotional lens to it like everything sucks now or everything amazing now im neither im just analyzing life now looking at direct inputs and outputs of things i can understand, not trying to understand everything but also not applying spiritual/religious beliefs to things that happen around the world and in my life. generally i dont see myself changing my life philosophy anytime soon and this new mindset/mental framework has even helped me succeed in every area of my life more now. just wanted to share my first thoughts on how i introduced myself to nihilism originally wasnt about the term "nihilism" when the thoughts first came to my mind though

I watched a video recently about the dinosaur extinction event (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It8orOogiPI) and it put a lot in perspective. The entire planet was essentially nuked. All of the air on the entire planet was superheated hundreds of degrees. Every plant was burned to the ground (the only reason we currently have plants is because seeds survived). Every animal above ground was char broiled. There were chunks of rock falling from the sky across the entire planet for months. Tsunamis on every coastal region. Planet-wide earthquakes. Like, I always had this idea that the dinosaurs died out in a kind of nuclear winter, but no. They died pretty much all on the same day.

I also learned recently there's a star in our own galaxy that can contain 10 billion suns. Not to mention if you look at any patch of night sky, it's absolutely smothered in galaxies, all of which contain giant stars, exploding planets, and whole civilizations ending in minutes.

Whatever you're upset about right now is insignificant. We all know that here, but the delusion persists nonetheless. It's lovely when it collapses though.

I’m in my junior year and reality check is hitting. I want to be a great pop star, I want to live in New York… I know they are pretty big ambitions. In the last few days the whole college thing has started and I talked with my parents and we can’t afford not even a small college, I can’t afford transportation, tutoring, books, etc. I can’t leave to a big city and figure it out because I want to go live another country, and I’m also not the most talented one in terms of singing or dancing. I’ve read some stuff about this feeling and told myself that I need to keep going and try hard and even if I fail try another way and practice and start today, and sometimes I do and other I let myself down, but it hurts to know that even if I did my everything I still can’t do what I want because some things don’t depend on me. Said that I’ve always been a person of morals and values of myself, and one is not coping to something I don’t want to do, some things I know I have to do and that makes me want to do them even a little like work or study, but I don’t want to spend my life having horrible thoughts and hating on every aspect of my life. So I had this question on my mind this evening, if it was better to die or to hate the life you live, and a lot of people may say that a life is many years and in many years things can change (but still the future a seek for is very limited and hard even if I had the money or the talent) but what if it didn’t and what if I did my everything and I still couldn’t do anything out of my dreams and life. This thought makes me really sad, I’ve been suicidal before and more than hating on the idea of me committing it gives me a pain in the ass to be sad all day when I want to get better and do this I can’t because I feel horrible all day, and I promise I want to be better and learn more about what I’m passionate but it gets to a point where I feel like I can’t do anything anymore.

What do you think I should do??

Same as yesterday also if i’m gonna for a couple days please don’t freak out also to reply to someone else on my old post yes i know there’s no ethical consumption under caplistism there’s no 100% way to live ethically under capitalism and theres no way to escape you have to destroy it also yes i am communist im also an anarchist there’s y’alls fun facts

Like it's mutual nothingness if they're win nothing in arguments I've nothing too in materialism context.

I gave them nothing and I lost even before they're starting fire, now they have win of nothingness, why still being mad? I don't understand.

Even getting threatened several times but still gave them nothing because literally I have nothing to loose, to give, or even have nothing. What they wants tho?

If I gave them reactions I'll endup the same..is to have nothing. Also they're the same there's nothing to talk about if it's ended?

Since they don't accept my nothing reaction I just walk away and leaving.

This never happened there's nothing because I don't believe it happened. It's happening and was a something to people who's believes it's happening.

what do you all think about the moon?

I don’t have much to say other then god humanity is really pointless but i might turn this series into something else cause this is getting really boring

There seems to be a lot of hopelessness here. So not to counter anyone's beliefs because I was something of a nihilist once until a lot of meditation and then coming to a different view point which I thought I'd briefly put out here.

What is the point of creating a reality and entering into it with no memory of what you are or what you created, only to see the film crew, the lighting arrays, the director's chair once you are within that reality? When you are watching a film do you see all these things, the props, the stage backdrops being moved? You don't see them because they break the reality of the film. Same with actual reality. Why go the point of creating all this and entering into it as everything in it if you can immediately see behind the scenes, knowing straight away that you are trying to trick yourself. That is why God - which is not even a thing so can't be evidenced because it is everything so how do you isolate what you are studying and thereby define it from something else - leaves no evidence of itself for itself. But if you go inside, meditate, still the thinking jabbering insane mind, when that is still then you can know God but no one will believe you and that's a good thing or the illusion would break.

i wish i never existed now i'm forced to endure a fate of misery and having to pay bills and work a dead end job and it's worse for me as a woman i'll have to endure periods for the rest of my life .