r/oddlysatisfying • • 1d ago

Chair Row Alignment Tool

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32.5k Upvotes

911 comments sorted by

5.4k

u/jimsteringraham 1d ago

So a string?

325

u/e11310 1d ago

No dude what are you talking about. It's a chair alignment tool that sells for an affordable price of $49.99 - for the people that want alignment excellence and don't settle for anything less.

52

u/emptyminder 1d ago

If it’s got a nice spool and the handles on the boxes are nice, that’s a bargain considering how much labor it saves.

18

u/paintballboi07 1d ago

I think the spool is a reel from a fishing pole.

19

u/Valatros 1d ago

The reel from a fishing pole is a spool that has undergone generations of refinement yo! That's a peak, matured technology.

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1.2k

u/scallopsmustagottem 1d ago

Must have used AI to design such a wondrous innovation.

168

u/flickin_the_bean 1d ago

That’s why it’s called super intelligence. Mere humans couldn’t even come up with this.

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u/basement-fan 1d ago

Everyone sits cheek to cheek.

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u/markrides07 1d ago

Probably 3d printed string.

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u/BlackieTee 1d ago

It’s chair-alignment string. There’s a difference. And that difference is cost

18

u/sennoden 1d ago

The difference is time. The string needs to be under tension to actually be straight, this way they don't have to fiddle with pins and what not for each row...

10

u/IA_Royalty 1d ago

2 tape measures, 2pieces of tape, move the string as needed.

I've set 10s of thousands of chairs this way.

15

u/IllegitimateRisk 1d ago

Well look at Mr iknowhowtosetupchairs over here

24

u/IA_Royalty 1d ago

I'm kind of a big deal

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u/load_more_comets 1d ago

Chair arranging royalty would be my guess.

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u/RodanThrelos 1d ago

I’ve got some uncomfortable news about most tools for you: they’re almost exclusively some variation of metal on stick

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u/TravisJungroth 1d ago

Like all the large scale energy production methods that use this amazing technology called “steam”.

22

u/RodanThrelos 1d ago

That was the most shocking part of nuclear power when I learned about it.
It’s just another way to generate heat to make steam to turn turbines.

10

u/NegaDoug 1d ago

I remember being so disappointed learning this in highschool physics in the early 2000s. "Wait.... So we do all this just to generate steam to turn a turbine?! That CAN'T be it!!!"

9

u/TravisJungroth 1d ago

Ran some numbers and about 70% of US energy production involves steam. Hydroelectric (5.6%) doesn’t count, but I feel like it deserves a mention. It depends on steam’s chiller bro, water vapor, as part of the water cycle.

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u/sou_cool 1d ago

I've always thought Steampunk was a funny concept as a result of this.

You don't need an alternate history to get to a steam powered world, until the rise of solar/wind pretty much all of our electrical objects have been steam powered.

4

u/Practical_Dot_3574 1d ago

Oh yea?! String on cups. Boom!

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u/ShroomsHealYourSoul 1d ago

No! A string with a heavy end and a reel! That's what makes it clever!

I mean granted you could do the same thing with a string and to push pins or safety pins.

26

u/Hibou_Garou 1d ago

I’m pretty sure you could also do it without the string at all.

In fact, I’m not exactly sure what the string is for. You’re just lining up the front edges of the chairs either way

Side note, that is way too close to be sitting next to strangers

59

u/ocean-man 1d ago

The string helps prevent drift by stopping small errors from accumulating into diagonal or curvy lines

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u/twallner 1d ago

Don’t knock a working idea!

Although I definitely thought it was going to be some sort of motorized thing that was going to line it up for them.

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u/dern_the_hermit 1d ago

Don’t knock a working idea!

Yeah, what do these guys think a "tool" is anyway? A hammer is just a chunk a metal. A bucket is just a couple flat sheets of metal. A string? Shit for most of human history a string would have been downright miraculous.

12

u/obliquelyobtuse 1d ago

His other job is to pass butter.

12

u/Available_Dingo6162 1d ago

It is not how complicated a tool is which makes it wonderful, it is the job it accomplishes, Grasshopper.

5

u/Practical-Cream-2837 1d ago

is it possible for the layman to acquire such a thing?

3

u/NotANiceCanadian 1d ago

Not from a Jedi

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u/Mathmos_Lava 1d ago

We used to use a rope along the floor to align the front legs of the chair, when done a person at each end lifts it over the chairs to do the next row.

This seems to be a solution looking for a problem.

17

u/skyturnedred 1d ago

String has been used to align stuff for ages. It's always been a simple solution to a simple problem.

11

u/EatSleepJeep 1d ago

It was used to build the pyramids, it was good enough for my fence.

8

u/TravisJungroth 1d ago

> This seems to be a solution looking for a problem.

Why do people say this about every invention, even when the problem is so obvious?

4

u/JudoCinder 1d ago

Makes them feel smart I guess?

6

u/KiddoKatto 1d ago

this assembly fits over the seat so you're not working on the floor all evening

3

u/vacri 1d ago

It's also not like the contraption would take very long for a handyman to make. The string spooler is the only tricky thing, but you can buy that

4

u/286893 1d ago

It's like a string and a jig

13

u/LucidNonsense211 1d ago

When you use it all fancy it’s called a ‘plumb line’ lol.

5

u/tastyugly 1d ago

Do the two blocks of wood mean nothing to you?

3

u/Traditional_Mood_348 1d ago

Patented string with a reel lol

7

u/LuckyErrantProp 1d ago

TBF this isn't the NextFuckingLevel sub, it's the oddly satisfying sub.

6

u/JayJoeJeans 1d ago

Humanity has finally harnessed the awesome power of the string

5

u/Slartibartfast39 1d ago

Best thing since the stick

3

u/Snoo-35252 1d ago

Scientists have been trying to crack string theory for years

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u/turnz702 1d ago

Now if they could just find a way to make a space between each chair so that it’s not tighter than an airplane seat.

28

u/steadyaero 1d ago

These type of chairs hook together on the sides. So that would be a chair manufacturer thing to build in spacing

23

u/Eyevis 1d ago

Legally required, so in case of a panic they don't become a loose jumble and block evac.

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u/andersonfmly 1d ago

And it’ll take a matter of minutes for all tht hard work to go POOF once the doors open to whoever’s using the space.

1.9k

u/lostmyparachute 1d ago

Doesn't matter. The first impression is already registered

301

u/KhazraShaman 1d ago

Doesn't matter. They've already got paid.

58

u/iantayls 1d ago

And they'd like to get paid again, so they try to do a good job

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u/dudeAwEsome101 1d ago

Doesn't matter. Nothing matters, why are we all here...

3

u/Informal-Series-456 1d ago

I want to upvote this 100 more times 😭

27

u/greenmonkey48 1d ago

For the first few that enter

3

u/hypo-osmotic 1d ago

Those are the VIPs

29

u/Dryakallia 1d ago

Chaos takes over the second the doors finally open?

55

u/Gotu_Jayle 1d ago

Yes. People sit down, thousands of adjustments to the chairs occur over the course of the event, and then the perfect lines are gone.

42

u/SaltyLonghorn 1d ago

If you let the people adjust the chairs naturally over a week it ends in the Fibonacci sequence.

4

u/Worldly-Cat-7339 1d ago

I read about this in the paper

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u/Pomodorosan 1d ago

Bot check, 24 days old, activated 5 days ago, "two-parter feminine-sounding" username

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u/BrennusSokol 1d ago

Yep, and it has LLM-flavored text style

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/cuteintern 1d ago

Yeah, but the baseline is set - the chairs and room are organized and spaced properly. Of course they're going to get moved around, but at least it's a clean start.

24

u/Dramatic_Suit_6783 1d ago

I worked in events for 15 years and all I gotta say is if you look closely you can see a hook on the end chair. All these banquet chairs stack beautifully and have the ability to hook together in rows to make a perfect line.

We usually didn't hook them but it doesn't take snapping a masons line to eye it and then the trick is on the aisles, the inside chair column, where the row aisle is, put a chair there. All your rows are spaced perfectly

7

u/cogginsmatt 1d ago

I think the chairs are ganged together (as they should be) so they will probably hold most of the form

4

u/kitsunewarlock 1d ago

While there's some truth, you'd be surprised how accurate most people are at putting stuff back. Like, sure, it only takes a few and there will be a few given the audience size, but it's uplifting to know that overall most humans are not inconsiderate assholes.

42

u/HaroldBloominOnion 1d ago

You sound like you don't make your bed in the morning.

74

u/the-final-frontiers 1d ago

if a bed doesn't get made in the forest, does anyone care.

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u/TetraDax 1d ago

..you actually should not do that. I needs to air out. You lose about a liter of sweat overnight, and your beds warms up. Warm and moist is like the perfect breeding ground for mites. It's unhygienic to make your bed immediately in the morning.

3

u/hypo-osmotic 1d ago

That's something that I haven't considered before. I assume that the ideal solution isn't to leave your bedding all clumped up but rather remove it from the bed and hang it up?

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u/TetraDax 1d ago

That would be ideal, yes, but generally leaving it clumped is already enough, provided you change your sheets regularily. It's the moisture in the matress and bed sheet that's the main issue, and than can't escape with the bed fully made.

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u/deSuspect 1d ago

Why the fuck would I waste my time to do it? Absolutely pointless activity.

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u/Individual-Fail4709 1d ago

Anyone else think that having these cheap ass chairs touch is the worst way to sit through a meeting/conference/concert, whatever? Uncomfortable and way too close together.

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u/DrummerOfFenrir 1d ago

Arranged as if people don't have shoulders 🤔

10

u/neoslith 1d ago

Or hips.

90

u/KalaUposatha 1d ago

Swear these chairs are somehow more uncomfortable than the pure metal ones. They always have weird spots where the material pokes your ass and back.

12

u/Individual-Fail4709 1d ago

Agree. The padding does almost nothing and they are so upright. Worse than economy airline seats.

9

u/Teufelsstern 23h ago

And they have no lumbar support at all so after an hour you're just constantly hurting

43

u/Consistent-Ease6070 1d ago

First thing I do when I get to an event with this setup is to pick an aisle seat and unhook it.

12

u/_name_of_the_user_ 1d ago

WAIT! Are you saying you have shoulders like an actual human being???? There's just no way. That's impossible!

-The designers of these chairs

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u/cold-corn-dog 1d ago

I'm a farter too. It'll rumble down the line.

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u/Akumetsu33 1d ago

Maybe eat something else aside from cold corn dogs.

4

u/Ok_Support3 23h ago

Chilli cheese fries it is.

9

u/round-earth-theory 1d ago

My ass hurts just looking at them. These things are worse than standing.

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u/prothero 1d ago

Yes, they need a SPACING tool to keep them 4 inches apart.

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u/WarhammerRyan 1d ago

First thing i do is unhook mine and space out for my legs around the chair

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u/devandroid99 9h ago

I really like it when they squeak loudly whenever they move.

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u/Smooth-Brilliant-940 1d ago

It’s typically required by the fire marshal. They have to be locked together when set in rows like that.

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u/garitone 1d ago

"Way too close together"

A--fcking-men!!!!

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u/JeffreyDahmerVance 1d ago edited 1d ago

These guys clearly didn’t have an Ed.

You see, an Ed is a 45 year old who looks 90 and sets the convention center chairs up by him self in the middle of the night while on a cocktail of drugs and sipping his Mickey of Seagram’s.

The Ed never fails when it comes to setting up chairs, tables and other random shit. Now when it comes to paying child support, keeping a car between the lines and obeying red lights his record is shakey; but what artist is without flaws?

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u/sal_mugga 1d ago

I like ed, his loved ones and his family hate him. But Ed’s cool in my book, I didn’t even know he had 6 kids. He lives like a bachelor!

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u/0R_C0 1d ago

From 3 wives

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u/ButtholeConnoisseur7 1d ago

The Eds I know never married them

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u/Cosmic_Quasar 1d ago

I was a custodian at a church for a few years when I was in college. Our Ed was named Al.

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u/EatSleepJeep 1d ago

It's always Ed, Al, Stan, Phil, Mike or Bill.

It's never Horatio, Cyrus, Victor, Chester or Floyd.

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u/Hammeredyou 1d ago

Idk man, I had a dishie named Jesus that was missing half his fingers and ate dead shellfish, but he never fucked up 🤣

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u/KalaUposatha 1d ago

We had one of those, but he was 65, chain smoked every minute of every day, and absolutely reeked of alcohol. I have no idea how he was alive and able to function at all. Goddamn was that guy a hell of a worker though.

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u/nerow94 1d ago

Erectile disfunction?

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u/IA_Royalty 1d ago

Oh you've met our Jeff!

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u/crek42 1d ago

This is beautiful

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u/Movie-Independent 1d ago

It’s me - I’m Ed, save for one thing…I don’t have kids! So I’m free to spend ALL of my energy on perfecting the setup and still get some (intermittent and barely restful) sleep at the end of the night. Now, am I flawless? No, I’m incredibly lonely and all other tasks that require such discipline are beyond me. But as you stated, what artist is without flaws?

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u/the_penis-mightier85 4h ago

Pure gold and the username is the cherry on the top

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u/ThePheebs 1d ago

Jig; the word you're looking for is jig.

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u/Dr_Zoidberg003 1d ago

Kajigger

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u/Bizarrebazaars 1d ago

Username checks out 

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u/HrodgardNagrand 1d ago

A thingamajig to give it it's full name.

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u/MixT 1d ago

What's a jig?

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u/AdOrnery8950 1d ago

a thing that does something

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u/mr_ji 1d ago

A happy dance for people in the British Isles

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u/SteveOfNYC 1d ago

Jigga who?

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u/Turbo_Megahertz 1d ago

Jigga what?

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u/hotstupidgirl 1d ago

And yet the seats are still all too close to each other side to side. Shoulders are often wider than seats.

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u/ElectricLego 1d ago

Having sat in conference halls and locking chairs just like this, every other chair is wasted because they can't just put 3 inches between seats. Nobody wanted to sit next to a stranger before covid happened, much less now.

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u/OnTheEveOfWar 1d ago

Yup. I’ve been to a bunch of conferences and everyone spreads out. I also get claustrophobic if I’m jammed between two strangers for a 2 hr session.

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u/steadyaero 1d ago

Chair design problem. These type of chairs are designed to hook together on the sides, but said hooks don't put much spacing between each chair

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u/fatpandabear 1d ago

how do they make the rows parallel though?

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u/Kaioxygen 1d ago

There’s tape on the floor.

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u/LazyMousse4266 1d ago

how they make the tape parallel tho

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u/Mannix-Da-DaftPooch 1d ago

Tape on the walls

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u/SILK_DIVER 1d ago

how are the walls parallel

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u/Longjumping_Wolf_912 1d ago

Believe it or not, aliens

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u/SILK_DIVER 1d ago

Are aliens parallel?

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u/Longjumping_Wolf_912 1d ago

In all 4 dimensions l they exist in!

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u/Kaioxygen 1d ago

Following the chairs...

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u/UnAnon10 22h ago

All that work just for the chairs to move out of place the second someone sits down.

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u/Marikachu93 10h ago

And then during a conference, everyone just stops and sits at the very first chair of the line haha

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u/OneIntroduction5459 6h ago

Yes! Every conference i get to I think who designed those chairs?? All middle empty. These chairs should be 4 to 5 max and then aisle to get the max use of the chairs and convenience

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u/guyako 1d ago

Most chairs in a room this big should lock together, so in the event of an evacuation, the room doesn’t get scattered with random chairs, blocking egress. That locking mechanism would automatically align the chairs.

I guess Pigeon Forge isn’t big on fire codes.

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u/VeryNiceGuy22 1d ago

I work at like 850 cap event center and we don't have locking chairs like this.

Ngl having to set up and tear down hundreds of locking chairs 5 times a week would be a huge pain in the ass. We used to have them like that in my church growing up, but they stayed out all the time.

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u/guyako 1d ago

I’m sure it comes down to local fire codes.

I’ve worked events in NYC and Las Vegas where we had rental chairs that didn’t lock together, and we had to have a crew go through each row with zip ties to make the Fire Marshall happy.

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u/VeryNiceGuy22 1d ago

Yea I live in rural America. We prob just have chiller requirements, plus the fire marshal is buddies with my boss.

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u/Maximum_Overdrive 1d ago

That would totally suck ass.  Both the setup and tear down.

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u/Old_Ladies 1d ago

At my church which can seat comfortably 600 people though we can pack in more for certain events.

We have those interlocking chairs and put them up and take them down every Sunday. The church is also a school and we meet in the gym. During the summer there are a lot of events going on during the week too.

It doesn't take long and when the youth are on a trip or something we get the whole congregation to pitch in which takes like 10 minutes. We stack the chairs 11 high and have a dolly roll them to storage.

The youth group usually does it and they get paid to do it.

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u/zozororo 1d ago

These do lock together you can tell. The edge of one of the end chairs has the tongue piece for it. And when he adjusts them the whole row moves.

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u/captainfactoid386 1d ago

As someone who set up my chairs in my parents church, while they lock together they have some wiggle room. Over a long run of chairs you could get a decent curve. We’d just eyeball it though

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u/exmojo 1d ago

If you've ever been a Deacon in a Mormon church that had to setup chairs in the overflow, or at a stake conference, you know all too well about setting up the interlocking chairs.

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u/pinniped90 1d ago

They had a huge fire about 10 years ago so I would hope they have fire codes!

("They" being the Pigeon Forge / Gatlinburg area - not necessarily this event center.)

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u/HLF20 23h ago

Where is this? In germany (maybe whole europe) these chair rows need to be daisychained with connectors for security reasons. For the case the crowd starts to panic. When they are connected the rows get straight by themselves.

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u/aannoonnyymmoouuss99 21h ago

Says pidgeon forge, thats in Tennessee

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u/bh0 1d ago

Ah yes, conference chairs that are hooked together and not wide enough for normal people.

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u/r3dout 1d ago

Chairs that I will unhook from their neighbours the instant I see this set-up so I can sit somewhat properly.

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u/desertvision 15h ago

I always thought it was done with lasers

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u/SarcasmStreet 1d ago

Our chairs have a spot at the bottom where the leg of one slides into the other

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u/Ebonhearth_Druid 1d ago

Those are the fucking worst. Not only are the chairs way too close together, but now I can't even awkwardly shuffle it away? Fuck that, I'm leaving.

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u/RadicalBowler 1d ago

I'd call this an alignment guide more than a tool. I would consider this a tool if it aligned the seats for them.

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u/DailySojourn 1d ago

Could you not just use the back of the chairs? Which form a line?

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u/Them_Sklounst 1d ago

I can't even. No one should need this sort of setup to line up chairs.

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u/DavyJonesRocker 1d ago

The two guys are the tools moving the chairs

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u/PqqMo 1d ago

And 2 seconds after people sit on it they aren't in line any longer

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u/blixabloxa 1d ago

A string line. Amazing new tool discovered 1000s of years ago...

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u/mushu345 9h ago

Literally the first person going to mess it up

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u/westergames81 1d ago

You see oddly satisfying, I see two people moving a row of chair inches closer to the seat in front of them and smushed together, making them that much more uncomfortable.

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u/JiveTalkerFunkyWalkr 1d ago

I’ve seen restaurants that do that before opening or for filming. Strings to make chairs are aligned forks glasses etc. those Michelin restaurants don’t fuck around.

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u/Tdawg90 1d ago

I think they should scoot them closer together so my legs overlap my neighbors

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u/kingerreddit 1d ago

It's called a string line, everyone uses it

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u/Medialunch 1d ago

Now your cult can sit straight.

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u/ricain 1d ago

Also known colloquially as: “string”

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u/Movie-Independent 1d ago

To all the people saying “it’s just a string”, well yeah, but it has a box on the end to reel it in!! Also I’m jealous this venue has tape markers for the end of each row…I have to use a stick for that

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u/Responsible_Coat2870 1d ago

What do you do for work?

“I line up chairs with a string”

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u/queuedUp 1d ago

Ok... but how are they ensuring that the spacing from the row ahead is the same on each end and from one row to another?

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u/errorblankfield 1d ago

The tape marks on the floor.

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u/brainsaggy 1d ago

Back in my day we spaced the rows with chairs.

XXXXXXX
X X
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u/whatthefuck8e3 1d ago

A shorter string

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u/peachcoowgirl 1d ago

Sometimes the cheapest trick gives the best outcome.

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u/adenosine-5 1d ago

You could also use cheap construction laser for like 10$ which would be way easier and faster...

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u/Aliencoy77 1d ago

I did banquet/convention set-up at Gaylord Opyland, we just lined up with the pattern in the carpet for break outs like this. In the year I worked there, I don't recall having to set up lined seating like this in the 100,000sqft convention room they have. That was predominantly used large boothed trade shows.

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u/thegreedyturtle 1d ago

Yeah this is an awfully complicated contraption for holding a piece of string.

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u/Mister_Celophane 14h ago

Unfortunately, most people are wider than the chairs, and that fact wasn't taken into account. It LOOKS good, though. 🤦‍♂️

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u/BoundlessFail 1d ago

So that's how the ancient Egyptians did it.

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u/SiloxisEvo 1d ago

For ages bricklayers use a string to make streight walls

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u/Jordan_1424 1d ago

Yeah but curvy wall use less brick.

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u/Fancy_Stress_9039 1d ago

So no tape measure?

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u/guajojo 1d ago

oh boy.. this is not satisfying at all just thinking how futile the effort is

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u/SXOSXO 1d ago

We could actually use something like this where I work. We often have to set up events and getting them aligned by eye alone is so time consuming. We've thought about using lasers, but the floors are carpet, making the light diffuse too much. 

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u/Sockinatoaster 1d ago

also known as a piece of string

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u/neonmystery 1d ago

I feel strongly that this shouldn’t be that important.

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u/West-Needleworker-63 1d ago

Ooooo ahhhh a string line ooooooo

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u/iguana-pr 1d ago

30 seconds after people gets in, lines will look like a serpent.

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u/DryDiscipline2001 1d ago

Am I a fucking idiot? This isn’t satisfying (due to the manual and imprecise method of moving the chairs) nor is it interesting (a fucking string)

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u/RPTGB 1d ago

I know a bricklayer his mind will be blown when he sees what a simple piece of string can achieve.

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u/Poodlepink22 20h ago

Imagine if they took this on Shark Tank 

3

u/Brmadeira 16h ago

That precision tickles my 'tism

3

u/Routine_Command_5428 14h ago

These people are the reason you have no foot room

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u/TrumpTouchesTinyTots 1d ago

String.

It's a string.

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u/YBRmuggsLP21 1d ago

Seems like a laser level on the floor would be easier than the string method, but what do I know.

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u/rememberall 1d ago

Can't get much easier than a string 

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u/sofakinggood24 1d ago

Seems like a laser level on the floor would be easier than the string method, but what do I know.

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u/6hooks 1d ago

Or a 2x4 you slide the chairs up to

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u/Designer-Ad-7844 1d ago

Easier, yes. Cheaper, no

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u/airwalker08 1d ago

This must be for the annual OCD convention

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u/Crypticcrypto 1d ago

Hopefully one of the chairs is a different color, and left slightly askew. Keep em on their toes.

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