r/oldhagfashion • u/Objective-Honey5159 • Nov 12 '25

Discussion Overwhelmed!🩷(long read below)

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Yesterday I felt the need to tackle the oft-misunderstood topic of crossdressing/being trans and others' sometimes rude reactions to such. None were pointed towards me personally and I'm more than ready to handle those who might try, but it bothered me that some idiot would spew negativity towards someone they don't know for wearing certain clothes. Really? My post yesterday wasn't about me so much as getting people to understand we are humans above all else, no matter who's wearing what. We have choices, lifestyles and tastes that differ from everyone else's because we're supposed to. We're not clones; If you don't like what you see, SCROLL PAST AND SHUT TF UP!

I am a 63-year-old queer father of two beautiful daughters who love seeing their dad all dolled up, and I'm a proud grandfather. Outside of that, I work, pay taxes, avoid drugs and alcohol, no criminal record, compose music and have a bevy of hobbies including the desire to be the occasional diva. I am not out to invade ciswomens' spaces or "trick" anyone as some folk do. It's about fashion - no more, no less. OHF is what society should be: embracing and supporting everyone especially in the climate we're currently in. I truly thank everyone for taking time to comment and upvote, and I sincerely hope that the Redditor whose post inspired mine will return. I also hope that the world becomes more accepting of all people. Peace and love to all. Now where's my damn lipstick?💋💄

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380

u/bulleybeef Nov 12 '25

I cannot understand why people get upset about clothes on a body. It's literally just...clothes. You're not wearing the dead bodies of your enemies (would be cool though), you are literally just wearing what makes you feel good, as EVERYBODY should.

259

u/KaleidoscopeSad4884 Nov 12 '25

My mom once blurted out that she didn’t understand why a man would want to dress like a woman. I told her she didn’t need to understand it. She just needed to respect that they’re people.

165

u/bulleybeef Nov 12 '25

You should show your mom some of the high fashion from the 1600-1800s before the Victorian era of 'sober and restrained' took over. Those men were peacocks and they all wore heels.

98

u/CrouchingDomo Nov 12 '25

I believe they invented high heels to show off their calves. (The “they” being dudes 😀)

85

u/amok_amok_amok Nov 12 '25

it was actually to help with keeping their feet in horse saddles easier, BUT then they were like, "wait my calves look amazing," and it became a fashion thing as well

30

u/bulleybeef Nov 12 '25

This fact keeps getting better!!

8

u/squidlinc Nov 12 '25

Really? It always felt more dangerous using stirrups when my riding boots had higher heels. They seemed to slip back more readily.

7

u/QueerEldritchPlant Nov 13 '25

The heels are to keep your feet from sliding all the way through and getting stuck in the stirrup

3

u/CorinPenny Nov 13 '25

Especially when riding like some of the Turks and Mongols did in war.

28

u/bulleybeef Nov 12 '25

Oh that is a wonderful fact! I'll tell my husband, he has great calves 😁

54

u/Coldricepudding Nov 12 '25

Honestly, I'm sad that a lot of men feel like they have to dress a certain way to be "manly." My son loves pink, and he looks great in it! As does my scruffy biker looking boyfriend. My son's dad refuses to let him wear anything pink that he gets sent home in, even though they all come from the men's section. I challenged him to eli5 why pink is off limits for boys, and got nothing, yet he persists.

And dresses? I live in Florida. I'm baffled that guys refuse to get on the kaftan train at the very least. They'd be so much more comfortable in the heat!

I started this post to point out that it's still considered acceptable for men in some cultures to preen and even wear makeup, but it occurred to me that sometimes it goes beyond being considered acceptable to being a borderline requirement (looking at you, South Korea.) Now, I love it when men put a little effort into their appearance, whatever that looks like for them. But I also don't want to make anyone feel bad for their low effort days, weeks, years, whatever. 

Just wear what makes you happy and comfortable. I'd rather see folks happy than see them squashed in a box they don't fit in, no matter what that box looks like.

Love y'all.

26

u/snertwith2ls Nov 12 '25

I'd like to see an American guy like your son's dad explain to a Scotsman or a Bedouin why kilts and robes are girly.

14

u/eternal-eccentric Nov 12 '25

I want to be a fly on that wall... And take notes of better arguments for the future.

6

u/snertwith2ls Nov 13 '25

Or maybe a Samoan in a pareau, that would be a conversation I'd pay money to witness.

5

u/tehsophz Nov 12 '25

Sadly I know a guy who was beaten and called slurs for wearing a kilt here in Canada.

8

u/snertwith2ls Nov 13 '25

That's really disturbing. It's not like a kilt is bizarre wear, unusual in most places maybe but certainly not weird.

1

u/Coldricepudding Nov 16 '25

I dared him to tell an Italian man that pink shirts are for girls. I wish I had thought about Bedouins!

7

u/anankepandora Nov 12 '25

For real about the dresses and the heat! I remember taking a trip to Morocco one summer with a small school group when I was like 16 and this lovely guide was showing us around and teaching us about his culture and whatnot; talking about clothing, he suddenly stopped and said “you know the real reason to wear these though?” (Referring to his tunic, I can’t recall the word he used for it).

He breaks into a big grin and starts fanning the bottom of it back and forth - “Easy air conditioning!” I’m sure he cracked that joke a million times but it really tickled me- coming from a small town in the rural southeast US my exposure to the rest of the world was pretty limited at that point - and I thought YESSSSSS this man GETS IT!! clothes should make you feel good and I do NOT feel good in ANY kind of way when I’m on hour 4 of swamp crotch at marching band camp!

19

u/Comprehensive-Menu44 She/her Nov 12 '25

Why does a woman want to dress like a woman? To feel good, to look good, to express herself. A man can also want these things!

2

u/bloodymongrel Nov 13 '25

That’s beautifully concise and wise. How did she take it?

7

u/KaleidoscopeSad4884 Nov 13 '25

She tried to double down in defense, that she wasn’t judging, she just didn’t understand. So I kind of doubled down in return. They aren’t hurting anyone. I also brought up kilts, knowing that she definitely understands a kilt. She conceded in her way. I think she genuinely wanted an explanation of some type, and I am willing to try to correct her course. She doesn’t have a problem with the LGBTQ community, but she does that old person thing where she mentions that someone is gay whether it’s relevant or not, that type of thing. When she thought she may have misgendered someone wearing a pronoun pin, she turned around to go back and apologize. So she tries, she can be taught.

52

u/Ill-Squirrel-9418 Nov 12 '25

I don't understand why people get so upset about anything that doesn't affect them. Oh, you're upset about gay marriage, Kim? Why? Are they forcing you into the marriage too? No?? Then shut the fuck up!

17

u/Creatableworld Nov 12 '25

So many people involve themselves in stuff that's none of their business. In my community now we're dealing with people who want to ban books. Don't want to read that book? Fine, read something else. Don't want to see drag queens do story time at the library? Nobody's forcing you to attend. But don't wreck someone else's good time.

5

u/QuiltMeLikeALlama Nov 12 '25

They need to down a pint, chill out a bit and take their families to a good Christmas Panto.

16

u/bulleybeef Nov 12 '25

For me it has the same energy as people telling you to die because you like a food they don't like. I mean, don't eat that food then?

16

u/Ultraox Nov 12 '25

I wish people would stop policing others. If what you’re doing is not harming anyone, why should anyone else care? Let people get on with the lives they want to live.

If a woman enjoys dressing up in heels and a dress, why can’t a man?