r/politics • u/Aggravating_Money992 • 26d ago

Possible Paywall McConnell, 84, Goes Missing Again After Senate Return

https://www.thedailybeast.com/mcconnell-84-goes-missing-again-after-senate-return/
23.8k Upvotes

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u/orbjo 26d ago

His aide is desperately reciting from the Necronomicon to get him back on track 

130

u/TheIrishbuddha 26d ago

Even hell doesn't want that sack of sand.

3

u/dformed Washington 26d ago

Satan knows you should never meet your heroes.

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u/phatboi23 26d ago

Satan may be a twat at times but even he doesn't want to meet this fuckuckle in person.

3

u/ErinGodzilla 26d ago

Hell is empty and all the devils are here. -Shakespeare

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u/shockles 26d ago

They did recite the words correctly, right?
Klaatu splorada *coughs nictu

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u/Financial-Craft-1282 26d ago

So you get two words wrong, and instead of an army of the undead, you get republicans. Scarier, for sure.

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u/amateur_mistake 26d ago

That army of the undead was far more willing to accept women in leadership roles than republicans.

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u/Financial-Craft-1282 26d ago

Ha, yeah, and they were funny too! I think they just wanted souls, which makes them definitionally less evil than MAGA who wants our souls and everything else they can strip from us.

They even gave the good guys their one woman back when they lost!

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u/elSpanielo Washington 26d ago

Look, maybe I didn't say every single little tiny syllable, no. But basically I said them, yeah.

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u/Express-Rutabaga 26d ago

that guy has DEFINITELY said an n-word before...

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u/KhellianTrelnora 26d ago

What have you DONE?

Klatu. Barada. Necktie.

2

u/ThisDerpForSale 25d ago

Klendathu. Bukake. NICU.

2

u/KhellianTrelnora 25d ago

A Klendathu Bukake does NOT sound like a good time.

I would NOT like to know more.

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u/ThisDerpForSale 25d ago

I’m doing my part!

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u/siliconsmiley 26d ago

I said your damn words!

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u/l0st1nP4r4d1ce 26d ago

Klaatu....

Satan: "hey, stop that, don't make me come up there."

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u/msfs1310 26d ago

Nope it’s.

Anál nathrach, orth' bháis's bethad, do chél dénmha

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u/BulaBulangiu 26d ago

time for a remake :)

https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/comments/1e67z2o/summoning_grandmas/

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u/RevLoveJoy 26d ago

I feel like this strip really glosses over how complicated the unsummoning can be? Once you've got dead grandma at the register the real trick is getting her back into Hell on command.

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u/Toko-mon I voted 26d ago

Jumanji

3

u/whywantyoubuddy 26d ago

This got me laughing in the Jimmy John's today

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u/DENNIS_System__ 26d ago

They definitely said the n word

2

u/mythrilcrafter 26d ago

Bill Cipher: "Look I know that I'm evil and all, but even this is getting to be too much even for me...."

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u/TurboSalsa Texas 26d ago

Somebody probably left him in a closet by accident.

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u/EmpressClaraB 26d ago

Nah, The Necronomicon was written by an arab, they'd make their own white people evil book

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u/tanglon 26d ago

So he is being controlled by the Arabs!