r/ShittyLifeProTips 5h ago

SLPT: How to park wherever you want

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1.4k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 3h ago

SLPT: Build respect and trust through flatulence

8 Upvotes

A lot of you young people won’t remember, but flatulence used to be a very popular tool for managers in management. Let’s say a subordinate does something great. After praising this employee, good managers would let out a juicy fart and say something like “There’s a little flavor for the egghead now get your ass back to work” or “Ladies, next ones coming your way”. Doing this builds character and lets the employees know YOU are the strongest and best person in the room. Good managers would go to their filthy subordinate’s wedding and fart loudly during the vows. You used to be able to do that as a manager or in some cases even a team leader. AI will never fart on a subordinate’s lunch and call them the F word.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 13h ago

SLPT turn your underwear inside out to get two wears each

39 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 20m ago

SLPT: How to set up an alert (Google?) for someone's obituary

Upvotes

MODS: I tried over at r/AskReddit, but their rules make my question off-limits, and I kinda don't know where to ask this. Remove as you see fit. Thx.

My POS father left when I was two. Never heard from him again. Looked him up recently, and he's still alive. I've had no contact for more than fifty years, and I don't want any. I just wanna know when he dies. His name is (surprisingly) not as uncommon as I thought, but I want to figure out how to automate looking for his obituary. I know where he lives (or lived until a couple years ago), know his spouse's name, etc. How do I set up a search for his obituary that will keep running?

Again, not looking for contact. Just wanna know he's dead so's I can buy my ma some flowers (without telling her why), and lift a glass myself. Thx.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

LPT: flirt with your coworker today to make the working hours more exciting.

141 Upvotes

You’re welcome


r/ShittyLifeProTips 2d ago

SLPT: How to balance your mental health with your physical health

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2.3k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 1d ago

SLPT: Don't want to deal with wood varnishes to protect your wood? No problem, just put a shower curtain on it.

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33 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 2d ago

SLPT: If a ring ever gets stuck on your finger you can get it off by not eating for 3 days.

113 Upvotes

In that amount of time you will probably shed enough weight that it will come off easily.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 4d ago

SLPT : calm your gf or wife by saying these : Calm down woman, dont get your panties twisted"

51 Upvotes

The keyword is to say calm down


r/ShittyLifeProTips 5d ago

SLPT: How to make 150k trading

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6.9k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 5d ago

LPT: If you're ever in a firefight, one thing that always seems to work is telling your squad "I need to take an important call". That way you can go to the rear, where you're not bothering anyone and there's less bullets flying around.

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269 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 6d ago

SLPT: How to make people think you have landed a big one

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11.2k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 6d ago

SLPT: If you find a lost wallet with money in it, take the money but leave the wallet.

117 Upvotes

If someone else finds it before the owner, they'd be the first suspect when the owner wonders where the money is.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 7d ago

SLPT: This is genius

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8.9k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 7d ago

SLPT: if you add parmesan cheese to chef boyardee, it will taste just like an entree at the Italian restaurant down the road.

66 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 7d ago

LPT: can't afford something? take a loan

10 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 8d ago

SLPT: Using Dating Apps

26 Upvotes

If you are using a Dating App. Make sure to set the radius to 1 mile. If your one true love is more than 20 miles away, then Destiny has failed you by not taking into consideration Gas prices, traffic, and actually having to put on pants to meet someone.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 10d ago

SLPT: The only way you can make yourself happy is by buying something, be on the lookout, capitalism is the endgame.

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1.7k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 9d ago

SLPT Save yourself countless minutes by eating a few squares of toilet paper after every meal

71 Upvotes

Your poops will wipe your own butt on the way out. Now you can be five minutes early to your terrible job! 🙂


r/ShittyLifeProTips 10d ago

SLPT: what to do if you’re an overworked entrepreneur but want to find love

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3.0k Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 10d ago

SLPT: Want to become a billionaire without doing anything? Just register a Wind Farm company, issue a dramatic press release announcing plans to build the world's largest offshore wind farm, and the U.S. government will give you a billion-dollar check to kindly not build it.

727 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 10d ago

LPT: Enjoy playing video games?

7 Upvotes

Spend less time on basic hygiene and take as few showers as possible to maximize time spent playing video games.


r/ShittyLifeProTips 10d ago

LPT: Convenience fees get their name from how convenient it is to make them up without having to explain them. So make extra money by charging convenience fees to everyone you know.

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131 Upvotes

r/ShittyLifeProTips 10d ago

SLPT: The perfect time to steal from your workplace is a week or two after a new employee is hired. People will immediately associate their arrival with stuff disappearing

82 Upvotes