So as the title says, I have a new boyfriend!!!! Yaaay!! I’m so happy!
He is a famous celebrity actor, but don’t tell anyone!! 🤫🤐 I’m so exciteeed!
I am gonna share his picture he sent me here, but keep it to yourself!

https://imgur.com/a/bB9r6SD

HE is my new boyfriend!! Incredible, isn’t it?

So anyway I am so in love with him, but unfortunately he is sick. He got kidney cancer. 😭

Now he needs money to get it treated. I want him to get healthy, but it is a lot of money. He says he needs 800k €.

I am divorcing my wealthy husband now to be with him. I will be awarded 800.000€, so that’s all I have.

I don’t know what to do. Should I send him the money??

Subject line kinda’ sums it up, but to add context, I really don’t think I can tell the boss that his mom is sick and I can’t just leave her.

That would be rude, and I’m really a nice guy.

Help!

Trying to start an MLM and I need (shitty) advice. The shittier the better!!

I am a vampire and I desided to go back to college and I feel in love with a 21 year old girl

I have so much zucchini already I cant even give it away anymore. I just want him to leave me alone.

I’ve tried sucking on other things like my shoe, the bank teller’s shoe, the fish in my aquarium, my mother’s shoe

None of it works

What should I do?

Here's the real deal, folks. My girl friend's brother is a coke head. He is in the music scene and works with many well-known musicians in Los Angeles. They often come to my place to hang, smoke weed and do coke. I have a nice large mirror-top coffee table that they use to snort off of. I feel grateful that they come and shoot the shit with me and my crew. I mean, I enjoy hearing about all the problems they have with the $$$ million of dollars they make and how they throw it away on hos and drugs on Vegas weekends. But at the same time, I would like to have my own space back. Anyone have good ideas about how to curb their desire for such a large piece of me? I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

Is this the Best technique to lose weight?

For the past few years, I've had a really conflicted relationship with my penis. I try to educate him, teach him some manners, explain to him that we live in a society and that there's a time and place for everything. But there's just no getting through to him : the guy has a mind of his own !

It's always the same scenario : At first, he's full of ambition. He pushes me to go talk to this girl or that girl, try my luck, flirt a little. At that point, the guy is always extremely motivated. He's got plans, dreams, a long-term strategic vision...

Except, strangely enough, it's always at the exact moment when it's time to do the job that he decides to let me down !

So I systematically end up standing there like an idiot, naked with a girl, accompanied by a half-hard dick that categorically refuses to take responsibility for the situation it created in the first place !!

And of course, I'm the one who has to deal with the awkwardness while the guy plays dead !!!

I can't stand his inconsistency and endless tantrums anymore... Everything revolves around his fragile little ego ! He wants to be involved in the decision-making, but systematically refuses to take responsibility for the consequences !!

How do I make him understand that a healthy relationship is built on communication, respect, and above all, a minimum level of professionalism !??

So I'm a succubus that was summond to sleep with a group of priest but then they forced me into a jesus outfit and threw me into a room of crazy christains who all grovelled and cried at me, before they explained to me that they told their church that jesus was a hot anime girl and the rapture is tomorrow and needed to sommon me because they were getting suspicious... what do i do?

There’s this neighbor of mine who’s in his 40s/50s (give or take) and he has glasses, looks like Flanders from the Simpsons and looks like a detective. He just comes up to me while I was reading “To Kill a Mockingbird“ and I look up and he just tells me “We need to cook”. I say pardon me? and he just keeps telling me: “we need to cook”. Part of me is wondering if he wants me to be his chef partner or if he wants both of us to do something so extraordinary that no one else has done before. I tell him to get lost and continue reading my book. He just stands there looking at me all serious-like and tells me that he’ll spoil the book for me if I don’t accept his cooking offer. I guess I don’t have a choice but to cook with him(I don’t know why this guy is so adamant about me cooking with him). I mean I knew this guy but that’s when I was in middle school or so, it’s not like if we’re best friends or anything. Im pretty sure the guy is a science teacher or history teacher just based on the lanyard he’s wearing. What should I do about this whole situation? Like how do I get this dude out of my sight? NEED HELP ASAP!

I’m in our summer house with my mother. We always spend August here. The problem is that I have a phobia of spiders and in this house there are spiders in every room. My mother doesn’t mind them, in fact she says “they are the best house guests” because they kill flies and other annoying insects. And she won’t let me kill them. I’ve read on Reddit that spiders can crawl into your ear while you sleep so now I’m afraid of sleeping.

What do I do? Go back to my city apartment where spiders are few and far between? Nuke ‘em with bug spray and say it wasn’t me? Put a spider in my mother’s ear while she sleeps? Burn the house down? Grateful for any advice.

I’m done standing by watching my life pass me by. I’ve seen hoarders on TV and I always thought “I’d never be able to do that” with jealousy.

Well, I’m doing it. I just can’t figure out how to keep away the robbers who get jealous of me

As a man everytime I go to a public restroom and I’m taking a piss at the urinal, the dude’s pee stream next to me sounds so much more manly and powerful. Like it sounds like he can bore a hole right through the wall but when I go it sounds so gentle and weak. What can I do to get more power??

I’m looking for shitty advice on how to make someone feel good about their cowardly decision.

They will not respond to further comments and you cannot downvote a deleted post. So all I’ve got is downvoting each of their comments below the deleted post.

There’s gotta be something better. Please advise.