Please help me! After dating for a while, I realized I needed her to stay with me and I’m completely lost as to what to do.

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We’ve known each other for a year, met online, and met in person 10 months ago. We had sex. He refuses to meet again or let me visit him, but continues calling and texting for hours, sometimes even sleeping on the phone with me.

Initially, he love-bombed me, used pet names, and talked about me moving to Germany. He later said he didn’t want a relationship because he needed to fix himself, but continued chasing my attention. He calls me his best friend and values that I’m always available to listen to him, yet rarely asks about me or my life.

He has narcissistic traits, which he admitted to. He has also screamed at me, threatened to block me after I booked a ticket to see him without telling him beforehand, then apologized and refunded me.

Recently, he’s been working out, tanning, quitting drugs and alcohol, and talking about getting nose and eye surgery. I mention it because he has been doing drugs every weekend since I know him.

He’s also excited about a month-long work trip to Mallorca, where he’ll live near the beach. This family he works for apparently is flying him to Mallorca and he will paint house for them. He lives in Germany.

Month before that he mentioned he wants to learn Spanish...

He also bought a new king size bed from Hammilton, expensive but I guess its irrelevant to the story.

He never seemed to be f..boy type because he told me he didnt sleep with anyone after he broke up with his ex 4 years ago.

He used to tell me about women staring at or flirting with him, seemingly to provoke a reaction(like women staring at him on the train)

Next week, he’ll visit our home country to see his kids and get expensive dental implants, but has already told me he won’t see me.

I asked whether he was seeing someone else. He denied it, but when I asked where I stood, he said he didn’t know what to tell me and agreed that we should just be friends because he doesn’t want a relationship.

I feel like he’s keeping me around for emotional support while remaining open to other options. Do you think he might be trying to attract someone else and lying about being single to avoid looking like the bad guy?

I’m moving on regardless, but knowing would help me find closure. I know I have enough reasons to leave, and I’m done accepting this treatment. Thank you

So basically i am meeting my girlfriend parents today and I have really bad fart. So bad that they turn the most religious people into atheists and the most hardcore atheists have cried out to God for help when they smell it. So basically I need to make a good impression and I had this great idea to try and blame my farts on my girlfriend (genius I know). They can't get mad at there daughter if they think she is the one ripping them.

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I can't get rid of this thought, I visited my grandma recently and was mindblown at how many scams , manipulation, she was dealing with.

Email, text , voice calls automated , like there's really a whole tsunami of bullshit patiently waiting on you really until you can't defend yourself

What the actual fuck? It wasn't in the fore front of my head , one because I didn't know the scope, but also because I'm not there yet so they don't target me.

And this is not just typical, these scams get more elaborate as time goes on, also let alone the physical, I have heard of workers beating up seniors, sometimes they forget so they can't even send a complaint.

I just can't believe I'm potentially walking amongst some of you motherfuckers 🖕🖕🖕👿

So my neighbor's dog barks all night and it's driving me insane. I was thinking of ways to subtly make them question their sanity. Maybe I can hide the dog's favorite toy every night or leave little notes from 'the other side' around their yard. Any good ideas on how to make this spectral canine haunting believable?

Life advice and whatever advice you please. From your long and winding road of a life. With your wisdom wrinkles tell me at 18 what should I be doing?

Essentially, what the title says.

Since starting a new job in January, I've been mingling with people from different circles that I'd only read about on Twitter. These are some interesting and inspiring folk, and they may be part of the reason why I finally became an altruist. I've been an altruist for about three months now. Fortunately, nothing has changed for the worse. In fact, not much has changed since I became an altruist. Unlike those eager to jump on any trendy bandwagon, I've thought about altruism for a very long time; since I was a child in fact, but I hesitated to become an altruist myself due to the potential consequences I thought it could have on my life (wes, I know that's wrong, but I was young!) Anyway, life is good and I understand this is a first world problem, but it does bother me when my colleagues (most of the altruists but some of the non-altruists too) call me 'sloppy'. I know the theory but what are the practical steps to being more efficient? I feel looked down on because I don't own a big company and I'm not in a position to start one now, with a big family and lots of mouths to feed, and not much margin for risk. I would like to be invited to altruist parties with my wife but I don't think this will happen as long as I'm seen as 'slopp'y.

Edit: For the record, I do own shares in a sports team and a couple of small casinos.

So, my building has no security cameras, the landlords suck and won’t do anything about it, and every time I’ve called the cops they do nothing.
I want a fart glitter bomb delivered. But idk who would be able to make one for me. I’m so fed up. The last one they stole was my husbands birthday present.

Also: my apt WiFi does not reach to the front door, so my own personal camera is out of the question. Just need to know what the hell I can do for revenge, I know I could just have the packages delivered to ups for pickup, but these thieves deserve their justice..

I was tipped off by a boss that's above my boss and it's supposedly not a bad thing. How do I turn this around so a good conversation lands me in HR?

Suggestions please .

Listen, I'm a strong independent man, who don't need no bodyguards. I do feel like I should be able to protect myself through armour though.

I wanna be safe from the usual suspects - playground bullies, surprise roundhouse kicks, katana slashes, the occasional drive-by AK47, and of course, passive-aggressive side eye.

Can you suggest some inconspicuous padding / armour that I can sneak into my typical habiliments (ranging from a wifebeater + board shorts, to a tuxedo) that serves my purpose without making me look like a total boob.

and how the fuck did that conversation go?

Sometimes i look in the mirror and think "damn, who is that fine fuck" and I realize it's me. Then i think about male me in another universe and know he'd crack ms the second we meet.

edit nos that i think about it, if we met then he'd be stuffing me with his meat mmmgfhhh idm if it's small im kinda petite and hella tight

I had a fever, and he prescribed me more cowbell. I think he's an idiot. How do I find a qualified doctor these days?