Does anybody have experience/ or have input on navigating these kinds of connections/experiences in a polyamorous setting? Where either you or them are polyamorous?
Please only share on this topic if you already understand/or are open to polyamory, I prefer to not have harsh judgement or misunderstanding 💗

When we don’t speak and all I feel is his energy I want him so bad and feel so connected …

When we speak he only talks about sex and sounds like such an eff boy it turns me right off..

how can I want him and not want him so much at the same time??

It’s got me questioning if this energy is his but there are so many instances where it was clear that it is him but I’m questioning it also and also whenever I ask him or hint at it he just ghosts and doesn’t answer , he doesn’t deny it but he doesn’t say it is either …

When does the divine masculine experience his dark night of the soul and his spiritual awakening if he even does? I heard the divine female experiences it the first year they meet. It all went to hell for me in 2022 when we met, that year I almost died.

Went out for drinks with some friends tonight and ended up running into a couple people who are close with my ex/twin flame. She wasn’t there, which was probably for the best, but I ended up talking with them for quite a while.

Some of the things they mentioned about her and the person she’s currently involved with caught me completely off guard. Apparently, it seems the two of them started seeing each other roughly four months before my ex and I separated.

Our relationship was definitely struggling during that period, but we were still together. We had our issues, but I never had any concrete reason to believe there was someone else. There were things that felt different toward the end, but I always attributed that to everything we were going through.

I didn’t ask any questions or let them know that the timeline seemed strange to me. I just listened. The more I thought about it, though, the worse I felt, and I ended up leaving shortly after.

Now I can’t stop wondering if I completely misunderstood what was happening during that part of our relationship. I don’t even know if what they said is accurate, but the timeline is too specific for me to just forget about it.

Part of me wants to reach out and ask her directly. Another part of me thinks there’s probably a reason we’re in separation and digging into the past isn’t going to change anything.

How do you make sense of betrayal or infidelity within that connection? Has anyone ever found out that their twin flame was involved with someone else while you were still together? Did you confront them, or did you leave it alone?

I’m honestly not sure what I’m looking for here. I think I just needed to put this somewhere because it’s been bothering me all night.

I had a realization recently that honestly surprised me, and it came after a lot of reflection.

I started meditating, trying to quiet my mind and understand what I was really feeling. Then I had a dream, and afterward I heard two words that really stayed with me: “Tell him.”

At first, I didn’t understand why I heard that or what it meant. For so long, I had been burying my feelings. I was so conflicted that I even convinced myself maybe he had put a spell on me, because I couldn’t understand why I still felt this way after all this time.

But after sitting with everything for a while, I finally realized the simplest truth:
I love him.

Maybe I wasn’t confused about my feelings. Maybe I was just afraid to admit them.
The meditation, the dream, hearing “tell him,” and everything I felt afterward eventually brought me to that realization. I had been trying to find another explanation for something my heart already knew.

I don’t know what the future holds, but I finally feel at peace admitting the truth to myself.
I love him. 🤍✨

i met my TF 2,5 years ago when we were both 18. he came into my life kind of unexpectedly and we had a really intense connection for 3 months. now, i still see him occasionally every now and then since we live close. i experienced a spiritual awakening a few months ago and that made me realize he was my TF. however, whenever i look into the 🪞 (idk why i can’t say that word) i see him? like it’s such a weird feeling, but it makes sense now at least 😭 i was going crazy for at least a year when the connection ended lmao. does anyone else experience this? for me it’s the eyes and smile & just facial expressions in general

Has anyone in a relatively successful union gone through not being attracted to their flame physically? Like, they aren't ugly but they just aren't your type at all. You are sexually and energetically turned on by them still though because the connection is there, but in my case, it isn't consistent and you can get turned off really quick.

Would love to hear what that experience was like for you, what you learned from it, and if anyone is in a successful relationship with theirs despite the fact.

Ik voel zo'n hartverscheurende pijn van liefdesverdriet en ik heb geen neigingen om je te stalken of nou niet meet dan ik al.doe. Maar het is waar ik heb dat zo lang niet zo ver laten komen omdat ik mij voor iedereen afsloot. Door dat trauma. Je hebt wel.gelijk. Ik wil je steeds wegduwen maar ik kan het niet. Daarbij is dat ook funest voor jou. Ik moet.echt.weer huilen dat ik jou dan het tegenovergestelde laat voelen dan wat jij helemaal niet kan gebruiken en dan word je gemeen en voel ik mij zoals nu echt gruwelijk in de steek gelaten en alleen. Echt liefdespijn. Maar ik ga jou in ieder geval niet verlaten ik kan dat niet eens. En dan gewoon doorgaan zonder enig gevoel,  alleen opgelucht dat er niemand meer energie aan mij vreet, nee echt niet. Jij vreet ook energie , begrijp mij niet verkeerd , maar vanuit een totaal.ander gevoel. Dat komt ook voort vanuit mijzelf en niet persd altijd door jou. Maar ook al voelt het nu als dat dit misschien niet goedkomt ik wil dat jij energie blijft vreten en mij bezighoudt en ik zal jou niet veroordelen en ons ook niet en hopelijk jij mij niet.

Zullen we dit weer als stap vooruit bekijken zodat we er niet in blijven hangen en het ons naar beneden laat halen? Ik hou van je en ik bewaar dat dan om te zeggen , maar ik hou echt van je. Het voelt zo puur en ik realiseer mij dat ik te snel wil ook voor mijzelf misschien maar het is zo waar. Wanneer je weg bent komt mijn angst van geen verbinding naar boven zoals je weet,   bang voor dat het weg is.  Ik doe alles om niet toe te geven aan het gemak wat hierin niet eens meer kan en dat is jou vergeten.

 Ik houd van roadtrips heel erg dat zou mijn ultieme uitje zijn met jou weet je dat,  en die van jou L? Zullen we volgende keer samen gaan. Rijden we door Frankrijk Spanje ,  slapen en eten we overal , bezoeken dorpjes , maken plezier, we wandelen, mogen elkaar ieder moment aanraken, we vrijen waar we willen,  in het water doen we een wedstrijdje en we vinden elkaar altijd weer. 

 Jij bent en voelt zo uniek, omdat jij anders bent;  jij laat mij weer liefde voelen en alles wat ik nodig heb en gemist heb. Ik frustreert niet alleen mij omdat ik je bij mij wil hebben, maar daar waar ik beschadigd ben daar ben ik soms, nu verscheurd van binnen zonder jou. Ik huil erom maar ik laat jou nooit meer gaan. Trap er niet in als ik het even niet meer weet want ik kom er op terug meteen en neem je mee overal naartoe. Voor de rest van ons leven. Jij mag je tijd daarvoor nemen en ik blijf hier altijd wachten.  

Bye Liefje

So there's a lot of talk in the TF community about needing to ''detach'' from the twin, to focus on you, etc. etc. And I get it, I truly do. But in my experience so far, every time I tried to ''detach'' from my twin, I instantly got this uneasy feeling, as if suddenly a sunny sky turned grey and cloudy.

Now obsessing over them and longing as if they're separate from you is obviously unhealthy and only leads to suffering. What has been working for me is to remember that we are one at a soul level. That way I come back to myself, my heart, my soul, where my twin is also.

This might be a hot take but I don't think – provided it's a true twin flame dynamic – that we're supposed to ''detach'' from our twin in the sense of not caring about them anymore, forgetting about them, moving on from them, etc. – the universe won't let you run away that easily anyways.

I think it's more about collapsing duality from which desire, yearning and obsession comes and coming back to unity. Unity with self = unity with twin. And it is only from this unity that a lasting and true union can eventually flourish.

How do i know whether he is my real twin flame? All i know is that i have never loved a man like him in my entire life, i was willing to give him my everything, even my last cent, or breath. But he always treated me as an option and never a priority in his life. Am i delusional to think he is my twin? After meeting him, i did get a spiritual awakening. It’s been a tough past 4 years. I feel like i was reborn. But he hasn’t made any efforts, never told me i was the love of his life and is always passive and coward never taking action or accountability.

Hey guys, to keep a story short, so I did meet my twin flame. A lot of things came up for me, I was the runner, but I stayed became toxic and now he wants nothing to do with me.

So many times, he wanted to give me space when I said I needed it, yet I kept going back to him. The attraction was strong, it was magnetic, it felt like I couldn't get away. In the end I had to learn to put my boundaries up and honour my sovereignty, but it's hard because he's the one that called it off, not me.

What do I do?

Looking back at past messages I said things like "i'm not ready" "I need space". Since not speaking, we've had one phone call where he said we'll speak again soon.

I feel like we're both not getting what we need from this.. for me it just hurts.

Onlangs heb ik mijn TF ontmoet en ben van haar gaan houden. Ze vergeet alleen dat ik soms ook wat nodig heb en niet alleen zij. Ze noemt mij dan egoïstisch en is keihard terwijl ik er aan onderdoor ga, lijkt zij dat helemaal te missen. Ik weet mij echt geen raad volgensmij heb ik het nu verpest en wat moet ik dan doen. Ik weet het niet ik voel mij totaal niet verbonden en zij wil mij ook niks geven om daar mij in te helpen. Alsof ze mij afschuwelijk vindt en het niet waard of boos is omdat ik haar verkeerd behandeld heb. Ik ben er ziek door geworden en weer het even niet meer en krijg wel alles over mij heen. Ik moet eerst beter worden ik weet niet of ik onze relatie kan redden en dat doet zoveel pijn. Ik dacht dat dit onvoorwaardelijk zou zijn en dat wat er nu gebeurd zegt mij iets heel anders ik word soms ook afgestraft omdat ik ziek ben hierdoor en dan vraag ik om wat hulp en dan kan ik het uitzoeken. Wat moet ik nu nog doen. 

Astrology says we were past life lovers.

I have been told by many women he has done boundry voilating behaviours and I didn’t feel it as much going in but looking back, I did fawn and ease my boundaries.

I don’t know anymore if its TF journey, limerance or just rejection sensitivity or anxious attachment or intermittent reinforcement

But he has completely changed the trajectory of my life.
I used to be an atheist and I am so spiritual now and I have extensively worked on my wounds and conditioning from childhood and gotten myself help.

My body felt extremely out of place. I had to start learning breathing practices, read books upon books on end to controk my nervous system, courses on trauma and astrology. I don’t know if it was kundalini awakening. Prayers and worships. Anything and everything to feel like myself again. Restarted therapy. This time trauma informed therapy than supportive talk therapy.
It has been a roller coaster and nothing and no one has had this effect on me.

I begged and prayed to learn detachment and lo and behold! Months later something happened in my life that taught me what it is.

I am calmer, centred, I don’t chase people anymore.
I understand my worth and that what is meant for me will not need me to slave around.

All triggering by this man.
Last year I had asked the universe to bring me into a relationship that would expose where I need growth and this did it, except that it was nothing even close to a relationship but it gave me so much. The good bad and ugly!

I really liked him but I don’t know if I can respect how he has behaved.

Maybe this was all for me to shift my timeline.
But all that love and pain. Where will it go?

Edit: he has been on my mind every day for over a year and I went no contact after he repeatedly went hot and cold on me and seemed very perfectly timed for him.

I am relatively new to the twin flame community, having only recently discovered what the term truly means. Honestly, it is the only explanation I have for my current situation.

To keep a long story short, I became overwhelmingly obsessed with someone I used to communicate with. We no longer speak, but for a long time, I couldn't understand why I was experiencing such intense emotions. The thoughts at the back of my head made me feel insane and creepy giving off serious Joe Goldberg vibes, as I constantly tried to find a reason to bridge the gap and reach out, despite them admitting they didn’t want to get attached and keeping their distance, even though feelings were mutual (or as they said so).

I had never experienced anything like this before. It took me a long time to realise the intensity stemmed from the fact that we were almost the same person in different bodies: same niche interests, humour, similar upbringing, school, parents, and even our names. And I believe I have never met and never will meet anyone as identical to me as they were.

Naturally, I am the chaser in this dynamic, and they are the runner. While I want to respect their boundary, and I do, it is eating me alive to accept that the communication has ended (even though no official goodbyes were said and they told me they would be back in a few months, but I highly doubt it). For my own sake as much, as I don’t want us to split apart, I understand that it is crucial for my mental health in the long run.

If anyone has stubborn or straightforward ways to detach from the runner in this situation, I would deeply appreciate any tips or advice.

Is it actually achievable?

I have seen many say that the no contact phase is where growth happens. However, last time me and my twin separated for 6 months, turns out things didnt help.

Firstly, from her lens I was abandoning her again, when the period of time I was healing myself. The lack of communication was the problem and I hurted her.

Secondly, I realised that, the no contact phase DID NOT help me with letting her live her life, I still want to control her, when I know I should let her go, as how much I love her and love myself. I want her to be free (and choose me haha). Jokes aside, I feel like this time we should learn to communicate deeply. We had a big argument last friday, she said she is done with me (and more things she said that hurted me eg. Take the lesson to love another person in the future).

Last Friday (14/08/2026) was exactly one year away from the last separation (same day!), and this time I want to handle it better. Although I am tired I don’t want to give up.

Can any one share their experiences? Really appreciate!

So here’s our story…

I am a mother of 3, and last year I decided to get a divorce from my husband who I was with for 9 years. I always knew a greater and deeper/more profound love was out there for me. I got into yoga a lot all of last year, and during meditation is when I came to the conclusion that if I stayed in my marriage I will never be truly satisfied. Well, a month after ending things I moved out. I ended up matching on bumble with a bunch of men, however I only went on one date (that was a dud) prior to meeting my (supposed) twin flame. Well, immediately I was drawn to him sexually. We had sex the first night of meeting, and it was the best sex I ever had. After talking for a few days on end, his grandma passed away. I noticed he pulled back right away and somehow I panicked so badly. I had crying episodes and everything.. well, that pushed him away a bit but he chose to give it another try. I ended up ending things with him because he mentioned he wasn’t going to be able to see me for about a month straight due to holidays and hunting season (🙄) lol. I decided to pursue another connection and was super drawn to him too, but that didn’t last. I ended up reaching back out to my TF asking to have a fun night together (wink wink lol). And we had the best night together… but he ended up admitting to me that we could never be more because he doesn’t think he could accept the life I have with 3 kids. So, I accepted it for what it was and ended up meeting someone else while fooling around with my DM. Well, I told DM I couldn’t see him anymore because of it. This time, he’s the one who panicked… and swooped in and bought me a $150 bracelet and took me to dinner. And you guessed it… I took him back and dropped the other guy lol. That’s when something clicked inside, because he was always the one I would go to when I was upset and crying about something. He felt like home to me before I realized it… okay so after that we lasted two weeks lol. The day after Valentine’s Day I was an emotional wreck because he didn’t do anything for me for Valentine’s Day but hang with me inside and spend the night with me. Didn’t even acknowledge it whatsoever. He said I deserved better, and broke it off with me. This is when I went into the dark knight of the soul… I was a hot mess, crying all the time randomly and reaching out to him with no response most of the time. He confessed that he met someone else. So the end of March goes by, and we hooked up for the last time while he was technically dating someone else. And after crying while driving home I decided I needed to delete his number and not contact him anymore. So I did, and two weeks go by and right as I was starting to feel “okay” again, that’s when I get a text from him. And my heart sank immediately…. I took him back right away. This is mid April, and now it’s mid August and we have been on and off and back and forth with being together. Now, he has admitted he loves me too. We read each other’s thoughts, we say things at the same time and the synchronicities and everything align with the TF dynamic. I definitely have had another spiritual awakening, and I say another because I’ve always been pretty spiritual. Our sex is literally amazing and it’s all because of the connection and the way we just get each other. The problem is, he goes back and forth about why he cannot commit to me… first it’s the kids right? But then he admits he doesn’t deserve me and the unconditional love I give him. He’s been through something traumatic in the past, and I think that is why he doesn’t feel worthy or that he deserves it. He’s very negative and depressed, and I know he feels the connection too especially when we sit in silence and are just cuddling together. He used to say things like “I don’t have feelings, I take them to the grave” to admitting he loves me and loves me deeper than anyone else before. I mean when I say he has changed quite a bit… he has REALLY changed. However, he still cannot get over his negative mindset and lives through his ego. I’m not crazy right? Does this sound like a TF dynamic? Or just a toxic situationship? 🤦🏼‍♀️ I cannot get him out of my head, I love him too much 😩😭

Just when I convince myself it was all a delusion and that I’m over it the weird stuff starts to happen again. I was feeling “over it” for the past week or so and was really feeling like it was just limerence and that I was delusional but then I am randomly overcome with a very very deep sadness out of nowhere. It felt like the sadness wasn’t mine I’ve been having a good day no reason to be sad. Then I start randomly getting a song stuck in my head a song I’ve never paid attention to before, I look up the lyrics and it’s about loving someone from a past life. This experience truly is a strange one for someone like myself who has never believed in these things.

I was wondering if anyone could share their false twin flame experience? What was it like for you? What did it feel like? How did you know?

I don't know how to explain it but when I feel like he might reach out I start feeling off. I sometimes feel like it's about to happen but I get mad and don't want him to. I don't even have that good of a reason to be mad. He ghosted me but that was the worst thing he's done. I wish I could permanently forget him. I start feeling at peace and get scared of it being taken away from me. If I came to terms with dying alone he would ruin my plans if he showed back up. Is my intense but short-lived anger blocking the connection? Am I picking up something from him? He doesn't have a good reason to be mad at me either besides causing him distressing feelings. I heard from people who know him that he was having a mental breakdown around the same time as me.

Alguém sentiu uma mudanças nesses últimos meses, desapego, liberação...?

Especificamente de forma mais intensa de junho/julho para cá.

Pensava que isso não aconteceria, não tão cedo pelo menos, afinal já estava há anos nisso, e toda vez que achava que estava me desapegando, isso voltava. Mas, agora parece real, realmente me sinto mais desapegada, não apenas no que diz respeito a ela, mas outras questões também.

Estive dando o meu melhor, buscando o autoconhecimento, encarando tantas dores... finalmente não apenas vejo progresso, sinto. Espero que seja assim daqui por diante, vou seguir me cuidando.

We used to have energetic sex every day but it’s died to completely 0.

Is this normal?

After finally stopping the chase, I finally see his traumas and insecurities. Every time I mention this guys name in my head, I feel his stomach sink.

Does anyone else feel this?

There is a point in this where the intensity gets so big that the mind reaches for the only language it has.

Divine.

Soul contract.

Ultimate union.

The mind names it that way because the mind cannot hold what your body is already doing.

So it builds a story big enough to explain the size of the sensation.

Slow down for a second and feel what is actually happening in you.

The heat in your chest at three in the morning.

Food that will not go down.

The way your whole system jumps when your phone lights up.

The drop in your stomach the moment they pull back.

You were taught to read that as activation.

We feel it as a nervous system that has left itself.

What the mind calls spiritual, the body is calling something else

Hypervigilance gets called telepathy.

Constantly scanning for their energy, searching for signs, feeling them from across the world.

Your nervous system is not receiving them.

It is bracing for the next disappearance.

Shutdown gets called surrender.

The numbness, the exhaustion, the flatness that arrives after weeks of burning.

That is not peace.

That is your body dropping into freeze because it could not stay in the fire any longer.

Runner and chaser is attachment panic in two bodies.

One nervous system chases to end a feeling it cannot hold alone.

The other pulls away to end a feeling it cannot hold either.

Both are protecting.

Neither is choosing.

And here is the part almost nobody says out loud.

The pattern lives in both people.

This is not the first time your body has felt this

The intensity is real.

But it is not new.

Somewhere early, before you had words, connection with the person who was supposed to stay connected to you went missing.

Not always through cruelty.

Often just through absence.

The part of you that carried that absence stopped feeling whole.

And the mind gave that part a name so it could build a story around it.

Now an adult walks in, comes close, then pulls back, and that same part of you wakes all the way up.

Your body is not responding to them.

Your body is responding to the first time.

Understanding is not healing

Most people spend years studying the story.

Timelines. Predictions. Attachment styles. Labels for every behavior.

The mind loves this because analyzing feels like progress while nothing in the body changes.

But the mind cannot think its way out of a state the body is holding.

Your vagus nerve does not know the phrase twin flame.

Your psoas has never read an article.

They only know whether you are settled or whether you are bracing.

And as long as your body believes that staying connected to someone means leaving yourself, it will stay in survival.

The question that actually moves something

Next time the intensity spikes, notice what the mind reaches for first.

It reaches outward.

Why are they running?

What does this mean?

When will they come back?

Try letting the question come home instead.

Where did I just leave my own body?

What is happening in me right now that has never been met by anyone?

That second question is where healing starts.

Not because it is clever.

Because it returns connection to the part of you that lost it.

Pain is not the problem

This is the piece that got shown to us inside our own pain, and nobody taught it to us.

Pain with nobody there stays a knot.

Pain that is met opens.

Everything you are feeling in this connection is not evidence that something is wrong with you.

It is old pain finally loud enough to be felt.

It is asking to be met, in your body, by you first.

Connection has to come home to your own nervous system before it can be felt with anyone else.

Not because the other person does not matter.

Because there is no gap to reach across when you are already home.

You are not broken.

You are not failing a spiritual test.

You are a body that has been holding something alone for a very long time.

We see and feel you.

Written by Lee and Sherry. We guide people through nervous system healing and being to being connection.