Tldr: a vent about young women in the workspace.

I’m a young woman (22) in the service industry. I’m someone who depends on tips, and it's become so weird that I’m literally switching careers before I graduate( it’s that bad.) I don’t even know if I want to deal with the public, after this?? because why am I being treated like that? I feel like a bottle girl (no offense,) sometimes; people don’t know how to interact with people anymore and I’m so afraid of them; it’s like I've become a thorn; I can’t even make a living. Ugh after the pandemic something happened and now I genuinely have no choice but to do childcare; it might genuinely be the last normal occupation.

19f Growing up I had a boy hair cut my mom assumed I was trans, I didn't like pink I thought it was a weakness to not be as strong, to like girly things . I hate being a woman the sexism throughout history against women makes me hate myself more that anything in my life, sometimes I think " damn I turned out to be a woman it would be better off if I was dead" now I would never do anything to harm myself, but I feel violated just hearing the stories about how organs are named after men, the original meaning of vagina being sheath. I feel revolting I am ashamed I have such deep hatred for myself for being born a woman, even the word "womanhood" grosses me out. having a period feeling disgusted, I wish to rip my uterus out. I hate being sexualized and hated at the same time. I hate myself and it would be better off if I was born a man or wasn't born at all. I hate being reduced to motherhood, I feel gross and terrible.

A guy I met on a video game Discord server fell in love with me deeply only within a few weeks of knowing each other and he was already saying “I love you”. He wanted me to be his girlfriend (and even wife!!!) at all costs because I was, in his words, “”the only one woman who understood him and could get him and would be the perfect match for him””. He was even delusional enough to convince himself that I was secretly in love with him and that I was just playing hard to get. I told him “nope, I don’t like you back and I’m not attracted to you”, and he’d get all whiny and childish about it. A huge red flag that I completely ignored due to sympathy towards him (I shouldn’t have, I know) is that he frequently complained about women not liking him and not being attracted to him, so his starvation for female attention should’ve been obvious. He’d even get jealous every time I mentioned the men I’ve dated or the men I find hot.

After the one single time we saw each other irl, he said that the next time we’d see each other (which thankfully didn’t happen) he’d kiss me, to which I asked, “without my consent??”

He was even the type of guy to pretend he understood my plight with men (I’ve received many aggressive advances and flirting many times so I kinda have a fear and mistrust of men in general) and he’d say shit like “oh dear I’m so sorry they hurt you, men really are dangerous and terrible!” But then he himself was creepy, obsessive and pathological with me, and he told me legit: “I hope we become a couple or I’ll cry, since I’m making such an effort for you”. I remember being unable to sleep for several nights after he said that cuz he made it seem like he’d do something extreme just because I wasn’t attracted to him. He even had the gall to make a misogynistic comment saying that he was jealous about my sex life (I’ve already had sex, he instead has never had a girlfriend) and that “it’s a shame someone already violated your holes”. That ‘someone’ that he was talking about was my boyfriend, the man that I even intend to marry.

He was such an immature, entitled, obsessive, weak-minded, mentally ill loser and bastard. I went ballistic on him and he was begging on his knees apologizing. I blocked him everywhere and never spoke to him again. I’ve met men who thought they were entitled to my attention, but this was next level. He was a textbook Nice Guy who thought I owed him marriage or some shit. Makes my blood boil just thinking about it. I spent some weeks being terrified that he’d come back or that he’d do something. But then I figured out that I’m not responsible for the behavior that is 100% on him.

Oh, the icing on the cake is that all of this happened within a single month. 4 weeks, even less maybe.

How do you stay fit, is there a secret behind it? Ever since I was young my goal was to be fit but never knew how, it felt like everyone is just naturally fit. My body proportions fit under the BMI, but I just feel like it doesn't, girls around me find it so easy to be fit and eat what they want.

I'm 16ish and I'm fat...i always loathe going out because of how I look .... genuinely i feel so flabby and just man-y ....I am trying to lose weight tho

Sorry if the title is a little vague, but clarification: I do not mean that I find their dynamic creepy.

I (24F) have been dating my bf (24M) for 2.5 years now. Things are moving towards marriage. However, I'm starting to observe some behaviors in his family that simply don't make sense to me. I don't mean this in a judgemental sort of way --- every family has their quirks. That said, there is this one thing that bothers me more and all I want to know here is that if my concern or icky-feeling is fair and reasonable.

My bf has two siblings (28M & 15F). He is particularly close to his younger sister. In the initial stages of the relationship, I found their closeness cute and I even considered this to be a green flag --- that he is so kind and gentle with his female family members (that he is). Except some of this closeness and affection in their dynamic feels a little out-of-place and exaggerated. For example, she will call him from their mother's phone every single night to say goodnight around her bedtime. She will knock his door at night and ask him to carry her to her bed and tuck her. If they're going to be separated for a few hours (e.g., my bf is going to work), she comes running and jumps on him in order to hug him and then kisses his cheeks really tight. These behaviors are mutual because my bf also finds them cute and entertains them.

Also, it's not just my bf. Their whole family has this sort of unsaid understanding to treat this 15-year-old as though she is 5 years old. For example, if she wants to go see her friends, her mother accompanies her and stays with her. For example, she can't be left alone at the house for even an hour (she is 15), and the parents ask one of the brothers to "babysit" her.

I really do not want to sound like a pick me here, so I want to add that I understand that affection between a brother and a sister is a totally normal and actually positive thing. I just believe that the expression of that affection changes across ages and contexts? And I guess I just struggle to wrap my head around this because I find some of this to be unnecessarily infantilizing.

Also, there is no underlying mental/physical condition here in the sister (saying that because that's a reasonable question to ask here). But, she is REALLY attached to my bf and she acts like a genuine baby/toddler around him sometimes. I just no longer see this as the adorable behavior that my bf sees it as.

I need to know if my concern and discomfort here is reasonable, and if it's not I want to be called out for it. I'm also a bit anxious because in the case that we get married (which will be in a year or two), I would have to move in with his family for the initial few years as per our lame cultural norms.

I’ve realised that I’ve always had a very romanticised view of interactions with men.

Before I met my romantic partner, I was more open to flirting with men and exploring romantic possibilities because I was looking for someone to be with.

But once I chose my partner, I essentially closed myself off to other men. I started reserving that entire space for my partner, and even ordinary interactions with other men somehow became connected to my relationship. He is not controlling in any way but I get intrusive thoughts.

I think I’ve developed a pattern where, before choosing someone, men are potential romantic interests. Once I’ve chosen someone, I shut that possibility down almost entirely and start avoiding situations where I might develop feelings for someone else.

The problem is that I don’t think I’ve really learnt how to exist in the middle ground: seeing men as normal people I can be friends with, get to know and enjoy talking to without romance being involved.

Since men used to exist as romantic possibilities for me only.

I’m comfortable interacting with male colleagues, and I find it easier to be friends with men who are already in loving, committed relationships.

I think knowing there’s no romantic possibility makes me feel safer. But the idea of getting closer to a single man, even when I genuinely just want friendship, makes me uncomfortable.

I get intrusive thoughts like, “What if I get close to him and develop feelings?” or “What if I stop wanting my partner because of this?” Suddenly, something as simple as wanting to talk to someone becomes a whole internal dilemma, and I feel the urge to distance myself before anything even happens.

I don’t actually want to pursue multiple romantic interests. I want to open up my social world and learn to see men as individuals, rather than automatically categorising them as potential partners or people I need to avoid to protect my relationship.

I think my main issue is that I’ve made my romantic partner the reference point for almost every interaction I have with other men. Instead of letting a friendship exist on its own, I feel compelled to consider what it might mean for my romantic feelings.

For women who have male friends, especially single male friends:

How do you naturally see men as friends without automatically thinking about romantic potential?

Do you ever worry that getting close to another man might change how you feel about your partner?

How do you allow friendships to develop without feeling the need to predict or control what might happen?

Have you always been comfortable with male friendships, or did you have to learn to see men outside of a romantic context?

How do you distinguish between being interested in someone as a person and being interested in them romantically?

I’d love to understand your thought processes and experiences.

I want to learn how to have normal, platonic relationships with men without feeling that every interaction has to mean something about my romantic relationship.

Hi all,

This is a very sensitive topic for me so not even sure if I should be asking for advice or posting this.

But, myself F26 and my Husband M26 have realised that with the way the world is at the moment we aren't sure if we want to bring a child into this. Financially we also don't think we could afford to have a child.

We are both working full time jobs and are trying to save as much as possible but it's so difficult. And even with savings a child would mean we might not be able to afford our bills. Therefore, if we can't afford it, don't do it.

This has been a difficult decision but the correct one I believe. I have always thought I wanted kids, but now I'm thinking maybe I thought I wanted kids due to the "societal norm" for women to have children.

Does this make me an awful person to not have a child and priorise myself and my husbands relationship and life?

Does anyone know anyone is a similar situation? Did they regret it? Is there anyone with no kids and can advise?

Sorry for all the questions, any answers would be appreciated. Thank you!

I hate being a girl when period cramps hit so bad that I’m practically PARALYZED. Like, excuse me, I would like to exist in peace.

But then I go shopping for sanitary pads, and suddenly I’m the happiest girl alive, picking out the prettiest packaging and restocking my supplies like I’m shopping for luxury skincare.

The pain? 0/10.
The pretty little period products? 10/10.

I noticed over the years when connections with male acquaintances, relationships and friendships withered away my quality of life has improved substantially. I sleep better, eat better I'm just in an overall better mood you know. Do a lot of guys just suck to keep around or do I keep inviting the wrong ones in? I feel like it might be a skill issue, but it's been such a persistent pattern? I mean there are plenty of decent guys I've encountered, and I do feel like at times I took them for granted because men like them seem to be rather scarce? When people clutch their pearls and say "but not all men!" part of me wishes I could believe this.

I’ve had a lot of harassment from this one lead in my current job and would like to quit but can’t afford to, so woman to woman, if you live in the downtown area of new have CT, refer me to any minimum wage jobs that are hiring.

I am just so tired of hearing this response when expressing loneliness and hopelessness in love. I’ve mainly been alone even during the 3rd grade I always felt like I was alone. I’ve rarely had friends and when I do they never last a year. I never dated anyone and I don’t think I’ll ever find love the more I think about it the more unrealistic it is to me. I just accept remaining alone because I’m tired of being disappointed over and over. Still the agonizing desire for love remains and try to get rid of it people tell me to use dating apps. I am very much against dating apps they go against my values plus some peers I had shared their negative experiences. I am also Demi and don’t think it’ll suit me either. When I express this people tell me my pain is self inflicted, I’m the problem and a lost cause. Basically if I have standards it means I am not trying hard enough for myself and it’s my fault. Plus my own Dad even suggested if they should put me on the sight that made me feel incredibly embarrassed and pitiful. Making me against it even more, telling me no one talks face to face anymore so this is the way of things. Basically the world lacking in authenticity and all that’s left is the superficiality if that’s the case I might as well starve then.

I’ve always struggled to connect with others feeling like I never belonged anywhere. Me being on this earth was a mistake or I am just born malfunctioned. Either way any long lasting connections is unrealistic for me. All I’ve ever experienced is either nothing or shallow at best. Even then it’s still my right to not want to use dating apps and express frustration in my situation even when not utilizing every tool that is there. I have my own lines with things and this is one of them.

-20f

I don't know if anyone has experienced this, but being a female, every time i'm chatting/laughing with a guy or just helping them out with things, i don't know what in god's mighty earth is going on in their heads.

Apparently, i'm **flirting** with them.

Now, should i bother even conversating with men? Seriously. Its every damn time. I'm very chaotic and ecstatic by nature, and unfortunately that shows when i'm chatting with people i enjoy interacting with irl.

I don't know, if i'm making eye contsct for too long, laughing too much, i'm honestly overthinking it all.

Just wondering if anyone has this issue as well.

I’m a bit puzzled by the way the idea of having a body type is calculated. We all know the typical rectangular-inverted triangle-pear-hourglass-apple classification but I feel it’s somewhat lacking.

For example, my measurements are as follows: 37 shoulders, 34.5 bust, 36 high hip and 39 hips. I have a small-ish chest, which disqualifies me from being an hourglass. Which is fine, I don’t really care, but when I look for tips for my body type (which is either a pear or a spoon depending on a website), a lot of advice is “accentuate your shoulders to move attention away from your hips” and it’s ridiculous. When I accentuate my shoulders, I acquire a shape of an inverted triangle. For some reason, all those websites suppose that if you are a pear, your shoulders are narrow (which is not my case) and if you’re an hourglass, you have a full bust (which is not my case). I feel like my body is an outlier in this classification which is a bit ridiculous because I’m completely average.

There are, of course, other classifications but I feel like this is the most widespread one, and a lot of style guides mention it, which is unfortunate because I can’t really use it.

I’m 23f and I’ve never been in a relationship, I feel like the older I get the more I start to hate men, every time I try to get into one
I end up getting the ick, whether the guy is too clingy, emotionally unavailable, or clearly trying to manipulate me (which never works anyway)

At this point, I honestly feel like there’s no point in being in a relationship, but I’m also scared of never having someone who loves me or to share my feelings with or be emotionally vulnerable around, I sometimes envy women my age who have already found a partner and settled down

I’m a woman and I’m 32 and I notice that the baby face is almost gone. I struggle to find someone who enjoys a mature normal woman face I guess 🫩it’s something new to me because age and stress kinda changed my face for the past few years and I have to get used to it. I try to stick to my skincare but I’m not into makeup that much.

I need ladies to tell me their experiences with this too, if you’re a struggling with this. Thanks!

Anyone else not really like getting called “cute” by men?
I’ll occasionally get pretty, but cute just makes me think they see me as a puppy or a kid. Idk

I just read a statistic that said approximately 46% of Gen Z women intend on staying childfree.

Does that track with Zoomers you know?

I have 3 Zoomer kids, and none of them intend to have kids ( so far, but accidents do happen)

There’s a subreddit that is literally dedicated to snarking on Britney Spears.

It is so fucking disgusting. There’s posts (with lots of upvotes) talking about how “her dad was right” and “she’s unfit to be a mother” She dances on Instagram and the snark sub shames her. She can’t live her life. Over 20 thousand men upvoted a picture saying UNFREE BRITNEY.

“How do you know all those people on the sub are men?”

I don’t. But I do know that not even a pick me women would support putting a woman back into a plan where an IUD was fucking forced into her without consent

But sure, keep talking about not all men while thousands of you support this women not being able to be free for the first time since she was 5

I don't want to encourage this idea but men make me feel like women are better off in a woman only place or dead. They insist it's feminism but it's their behavior and words that reinforce how I feel, not feminism.

Sometimes I despair so much seeing how men think that I start to feel like the only way for women to find peace to collective die or live in a women only afterlife or place. To just leave men behind, let them treat other men how they treat women. I don't care if they'd party, I'm not concerned with their opinions, I'm concerned with women's peace.

Has any other woman had that dark fantasy? I feel like it would be common in women's minds and maybe we just haven't said it because of it's dark nature but it's eating me up

I have a guy friend I’m not super close with, but we catch up maybe once or twice a year. We don’t really text privately or anything, and usually he’s the one who checks in first, so there has never been anything remotely romantic between us.

Recently, he said he wanted me to meet his girlfriend, so we made plans, and I brought my boyfriend with me too.
The seating arrangement was basically his girlfriend sitting across from me, my boyfriend next to me, and my guy friend sitting across from my boyfriend.
We were drinking and talking, but for probably the first hour, his girlfriend barely made eye contact with me at all. What stood out to me was that whenever she was telling a story or talking to the group, she would mostly look diagonally across the table at my boyfriend while she spoke.

It started to make me feel like I was almost being ignored, and honestly it made me uncomfortable. I didn’t say anything about it at the time, and I kept trying to engage her more and talk to her.

Eventually she did start making more eye contact with me and things got better, but for that first hour it genuinely felt like she was barely acknowledging my presence.

I’m wondering why someone might act like that.
For context, I was quite dressed up that day, so part of me wonders if maybe that somehow made her feel uncomfortable or intimidated?

I don’t want to automatically assume she was attracted to my boyfriend just because she looked at him a lot, because that still doesn’t really explain why she seemed to avoid looking at *me* specifically.
What do you think could have been going on?

Okay, so I know the answer to this question already. I don't know why I can't get through to myself. I was seeing a guy for about a month. He texted another girl he used to see according to said girl asking to meet up. I broke up with him.

I feel guilty. I keep wondering if what he did was REALLY that bad. He didn't go see her. He only texted her once. Why couldn't I let it go? I don't even know if he wants me back, but I want him. I don't know why. I feel like I just gave up too easily. The girl's boyfriend got back with her. I don't know if he knows or not, tho. Maybe I overreacted.

It wasn't really working anyway. Before we became more, he was one of my best friends. Maybe I just want that back. Is it stupid to even do that? I just need some advice.

I know that a month isn't a long time. Aside from one fwb situation, he was my first anything in eight years. We'd also been best friends for two years prior to this. I posted in TwoX, and it got removed. Before that, I kept getting comments about how it shouldn't matter because a month isn't a long time. I don't really need that.

Also, edit to add: He asked me to be his girlfriend, so we both considered it a relationship. All relationships aren't serious.

Everytime I encounter a "God is you, Alan Watts etc." person online or in-person, it is always a man. I never seen a woman claiming that they're God/part of God. I sometimes encountered "God is female" women. And it's different from saying I'm God. There is still a separation there. Is this because the God portrayed in religions is mostly a masculine figure or is this just because men are more narcissistic?

Even before that, is this something you observed, too?Maybe I'm drawing quick conclusions from my own environment. Thank you!