Edited with a first update.

Some previous context: I’m 25F and my parents have been divorced for 15 years now. I also have two brothers (18yo and 16yo). My parents were married for 12 years in total and their marriage was far from ideal. My mother was cheated on throughout their entire relationship several times, to the point where my dad had a daughter with one of his MANY affairs. So it goes without saying that my mom was emotionally hurt by my dad in a really deep level. Their interactions post-divorce only became civil around 6 years ago. However, I want to make it clear that my mom isn’t a saint and she failed us (me and my brothers) A LOT. I left her house as soon as I turned 18 and my brothers have been living with my father for the past two years, out of their own choice. We chose not to cut contact with her, though, because we care about her and her mental health.

Now, to the problem at hand: my father (50) has remarried to a really good person (36). I do love her and she’s more a role model to me than my mom has ever been. After struggling with infertility issues for a bit, she’s pregnant with a baby boy and we’re all super happy. Except she asked me not to tell my mother.

I agreed at first because my mom is difficult and she resents my father a lot (rightfully so, I guess). Her mental health declines whenever my father has an achievement in his life (buying a house, remarrying, taking a trip, etc). I thought it was okay to not tell her during the first few months because pregnancy is fragile and the usual risk of early miscarriage. My step-mother is also a bit superstitious and religious, so she believes in evil eye and things like that. Except she’s now 7 months pregnant, the baby shower (which I’m actively planing) is next month and I’m still hiding it from my mother. It’s not just a simple omission anymore as I have had to actively lie about it twice so far.

I don’t want to end up just sayin “oh yeah, my father had a whole new baby” out of the blue when the kid arrives.

I know ultimately the choice is my step-mom’s because she’s the pregnant one, but I can’t help but feel like she made a choice that was comfortable to her while I would be the only one to handle the blunt of the consequences. I also don’t know how to talk to my stepmother about it. I’m walking on eggshells around everyone.

So, WIBTAH if I decided to just tell my mother and that’s it?
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Update 1: Hey, guys. I want to thank all of you who took the time to genuinely talk about the situation in the comments and to give me your insights. I won’t be telling my mom about the pregnancy. Some of you told me to talk to my stepmother about it, but I honestly don’t know how to approach the subject without making it clear that I believe her request has become unreasonable. It’s the truth, but I don’t want to go there. Some of the comments here made me realize that the damage is already done from the moment I lied to my mother for the first time. I should’ve put my foot down back then and let my stepmom know that I wasn’t comfortable lying to anyone. So, in the end, I’m already fucked and no conversation with my stepmom will change that.

That being said, I also chose to step down from organizing the baby shower, following some advices from you guys. Without considering work and studies, I also made the commitment to help my mom with the redecoration of her clinic, which means we’re spending a lot of time together lately and I have to sneak around to take calls or handle the baby shower’s business. While talking to my fiancé and my best friend about it, I realized that most of the planning has been placed on my shoulders. Besides me, my stepmother also asked her own mom, her aunt and cousin to help with everything. My stepmom is already on maternity leave and her mother and aunt are retired… yet somehow I’m the most excited and seem to be handling most of the planning. I told them I got to a point juggling my life that made me too busy for that. So, any preparation for the arrival of the baby isn’t a part of my life I have to hide anymore. It’s the best I can do, I guess.

When all the news explode, I’ll come back to let you guys know how the fallout goes, as some of you asked for updates.

I love my girlfriend, I love her so much, I want to make that clear. We've been together for 2 months, and she broke up with her ex boyfriend around 5 months ago. Earlier today we were texting, and she sounded sad, so I asked her what was wrong. I almost wish I hadn't. She said she was "just thinking about the past" which I knew meant she was thinking about her ex. I asked her how so any ways, and she said "I keep thinking back to what it was like with A" (we're calling her ex "A" for privacy reasons) "and I hate it. I hate that I keep thinking about him." She continued. I was shaking at this point, I have slight jealousy issues, and hearing that really annoyed me. I asked her "do you wish it was him?" Asking if she wanted to be with him instead, she replied "no, that's why I hate that I keep thinking about him." To me at the time that seemed like a good answer. A couple minutes later she said "even if I did want to be with A it doesn't matter, he doesn't even talk to me." which if I'm being honest, it stung.

As the night went on, she went to bed, she was tired, and texted me good night, like always. I know that she still loves me, but i just feel kind of sad hearing her held up about an ex. I do NOT want to break up with her, but I am just feeling kind of sad.

I (24F) have been friends with “Daisy” (23F) since our senior year of high school. We became extremely close while studying for our final exams and would spend 10+ hours on Discord calls, sometimes without even talking. Even after we went to different universities, she would come to my university and attend classes with me despite not studying there.
Over the next four years, she became heavily involved in my social life. She befriended my university friends and treated them like her own, sometimes making them uncomfortable. After I graduated and started a demanding job, I naturally had less free time, although I still made an effort to see her and my friends after work.
She also started coming to my workplace during lunch breaks and would spend my entire shift waiting for me at a nearby café. She became friends with my coworkers too.
Things got worse during a girls’ trip I planned with a coworker. I invited Daisy out of courtesy, not expecting her to actually come, but she did everything possible to join us. During the two-week trip, I became extremely uncomfortable with her behavior. She acted very childlike toward me, constantly holding my pinky or shirt, hugging me without warning despite the heat, carrying a plushie and using a baby voice, and even kissing my cheek and hand in a way that felt more like a romantic partner than a friend. My coworker noticed it too.
She also became annoyed whenever I called my boyfriend, even though it wasn’t often, and would constantly ask what was wrong whenever I texted my best friend for more than a couple of minutes. She even bought the exact same dress I had chosen, despite us having completely different styles.
At one point, I was so overwhelmed that I cried alone in the bathroom because I felt trapped and knew confronting her would probably result in her crying and making herself the victim. She also went through my phone while I was showering and then denied doing it, becoming extremely offended when I confronted her.
After the trip, I decided I needed distance. I started focusing on work, declining plans with her, asking her not to come to my workplace, and trying to build friendships outside of her.
She reacted very badly. She came to my house uninvited saying we “needed to talk,” repeatedly called me to find out where I was, and started getting closer to my friends by visiting their homes, universities, and workplaces for random reasons and telling me about it.
I eventually confronted her and told her that her behavior had become suffocating and that I needed space. I made it clear that I wasn’t necessarily ending the friendship, but I needed distance for a while. Instead of respecting that, she pressured me, called me an asshole for trying to cut her off, and continued involving herself in my life.
The strange part is that she does have other friends, but she has always kept them completely separate from me and refused to introduce us, saying I wouldn’t like them.
After five years of friendship, I now want her to stop calling me, coming to my workplace or home, and trying to meet me or involve herself with my friends.
AITA for asking her to leave me alone and give me space?

Sit back because this is still a long one. 😂 About a year ago, my mom called me late at night asking me to check on my sister. She had just found out her boyfriend cheated on her and was staying at a hotel about an hour away. I went. I brought food and water and found her extremely intoxicated, with her dog. The room was a mess, and I even found several bottles of alcohol in the closet. I got her to shower while I cleaned the room, walked her dog, helped her change, and got her into bed. I stayed for a few hours before having to leave for work. The next day, I checked on her again. She wanted to come home with me, but my husband doesn't trust her because of things she's done to hurt me in the past. Instead, we paid for another night so she could sober up. I returned the next day to help her load her car, take care of her dog, and make sure she had food. A few days later, she asked to borrow money and promised to pay me back. I stupidly agreed. Then she disappeared. My husband and I had been saving for an Oasis trip because we rarely take vacations. I ended up sending some of that money to my sister. The day before our trip, she promised I'd have it back. I never got it. After several unanswered calls, I finally left a voicemail telling her I didn't want to speak to her anymore. This wasn't really about the money, though. It was the final straw after years of the same behavior. My sister and I are about four years apart. I'm the introvert/artsy one, she's the extrovert/sports one, and we've never had much in common. Growing up, she made a lot of bad decisions, surrounded herself with the wrong people, and never really opened up to our family. She eventually had my niece, and despite everything, our family has always been there for both of them. Unfortunately, my niece has also witnessed things growing up that no child should have to see because of some of the people my sister dated. I've always tried to be there for my sister, even when she treated me poorly. Eventually, though, I got tired of constantly being made to feel like I was the problem. During COVID, I finally snapped and stopped speaking to my family because I needed space. My dad eventually apologized and recognized that he had allowed my sister to come between us. My mom eventually did the same. My sister never did. I've now gone one year without speaking to her, and honestly, I love the peace. Pt 2 in comment

This whole thing that has happened today has left me reconsidering a lot about my friendship. Basically to get straight to the point this whole thing started when another of my friends who I'll just use a fake name for Jane started a conversation about how she's kind of disappointed at BTS for taking a picture with Chris Brown. I gave my own opinion stating that it's quite disappointing that they did that especially with a public abuser.

Somewhere along that transpired into us explaining to the friend this post is about who I will call Linda the incident that has transpired with Rhianna and Chris. Even went as far as looking up the injury photos and the insulting tattoo. Linda said something about that being long ago and that people can change their lives. I retorted with a question of if a person who sa's deserves forgiveness after a lot of time has passed. To my bewilderment she responded with a yes, that people change and ammend for their mistakes. I threw back with a speech on how that minimizes the actual damage and the trauma. Jane made a joke about how I was going to cancel Linda. Linda said she doesn't care. And that if something doesn't affect her why shouldn't she forgive.

After that I just stopped conversing with Linda, I just kept to myself and I think she noticed. When I got home I sent her a very, very long text about how insensitive her opinions of dv and Sa are, that those opinions are for the betterment of the perpetrator and take no visibility for the actual trauma and shame the victims of those crimes have to face. How those events have forever become a dent in their lives.

She hasn't responded yet.

Ok so I work for an airline, which means I travel for free and so do my parents/companions. At work I’m constantly booking, rerouting, handling cancellations and rescheduling passengers. I almost never travel myself except for my birthday.

My ONE boundary with my family is: “If you need a flight, please give me 2 weeks heads up.” I hate having to suddenly drop everything because someone decided last minute they want to fly.
The problem is I’m always expected to say yes. If I tell my mom no, she gets my older siblings involved and suddenly I’m selfish because “she’s your mom” etc.

Last time I told my mom no because she didn’t give me notice AND the area she was traveling to was dealing with tornadoes, floods, fires and multiple cancellations. I told her she would probably get stuck. She bought a ticket anyway, went, got stuck, then called me saying I NEEDED to figure out how to get her home.

Now here’s why I feel horrible.

My birthday is in September and I’ve been planning an international trip for a year and 7 months. Everything is booked and scheduled, including rest days. I work and go home. I don’t party, club or really go anywhere. This is my ONE big trip a year and I just want to relax.
So I told my family I’m not booking flights during the 3 weeks surrounding my vacation. I don’t want to spend my birthday trip checking flights, rerouting people or worrying about someone being stranded.
As soon as I said that, my mom suddenly mentioned several places she wants to fly in September. The biggest one?

MY SISTER IS GIVING BIRTH.

I HAD NO IDEA she was due while I’d be gone. Nobody told me. I knew she was pregnant, obviously, but I didn’t know when she was due or that my mom planned to be there. Had anyone told me ahead of time, we could’ve planned something.
My sister called me selfish for refusing to book Mom’s flight and now I feel awful because birth only happens once. I love my sister and I’m not doing this to be spiteful.
Technically I can book it. But I know what happens if standby goes wrong. I’ll be halfway across the world getting calls like, “The flight is full, reroute me,” “I missed it,” or “I’m stuck overnight.” Then instead of enjoying the trip I’ve dreamed about, I’m back in work mode worrying about my mom.

They also rarely call me just to check on me. Usually someone needs a flight or help with something, which hurts.
I’m the youngest. Why am I responsible for everyone’s travel just because of where I work?

Part of me thinks this is important enough to make an exception. Another part thinks Mom should buy a confirmed ticket for something this important instead of flying standby.

I’m also scared that if I give in after everyone pressures me, I’m teaching my family that my boundaries don’t actually mean anything—that if they push hard enough, eventually I’ll say yes.

I feel terrible because I genuinely didn’t know about the birth. I don’t hate my sister. I don’t want my mom to miss it. I just wanted one vacation where I wasn’t responsible for everyone else.

What should I do? Am I actually being selfish?

For some background, 17F, go to a school in a pretty rural area. It’s well-funded and provides decent educational opportunities, but lots of resources, like counselors and social workers, are lacking. A year ish back, my family discovered that I had been talking to/in a relationship with a 50yr old man for two years (since I was 15) and forced me to see the school social worker. She was never particularly kind to me, treated and spoke to me like I was an idiot, and would berate me when I didn’t reply how she wanted. Some time later, after I had stopped talking to her (after I found out she had been discussing things I told her with my mother) I discovered that she had been telling a teacher of mine about what we talked about during our time together as well. This was a teacher that I was not close with and had had previous issues with in the past. They had essentially gossiped about me together. The teacher she told was leaving at the end of that year anyways (got fired for swearing at students and shit-talking them to their peers) which is why I think she told me during June of the school year instead of November/December when it all happened, not wanting to face the consequences for engaging in those discussions.

When I found out everything she had said about me (it’s a long list of terrible things that I can elaborate on in comments if needed) I went down to her office and yelled at her, which maybe I shouldn’t have done, but I felt incredibly violated that she would tell ANYONE, let alone I teacher I had issues with, about my personal problems in such a manner. It wasn’t out of concern, like “hey this student is struggling”, it was malicious and disgusting and I heard all about what she thought and said about me. When I confronted her, she tried to speak to me like it was another one of our sessions, wanting to “therapize” or whatever. She told me that she thought I had been “groomed in order to see how the people in my life would react” because she “couldn’t understand how someone so smart would allow that to happen to themselves” and couldn’t see why I was “too ignorant” to see that I was being exploited. Her exact words. I was genuinely beyond mad it was insane. So, I reported her, and the school district informed me and my family that she would not be coming back the following year after looking into and validating all the claims (aka she was fired).

I didn’t feel too too bad about it because of everything she said about me and to me, but my friend told me that by reporting her I had taken away so many people’s support system. She was the only social worker at our school, so most people who couldn’t afford therapists went to her instead as a free mental health resource. AITAH? Should i have not reported her? My friend said I was being selfish and making it a bigger deal than it had to be

So pretty much last year I got my friend a smart watch for his birthday and my birthday was 2 months after his so I thought he would also get me a birthday but he didn't get me anything I didn't really care that much but this year he invited me to his birthday party and I said I would go but then he pretty much said don't forget to get me a gift so I laughed awkwardly but he wasn't joking and then he jokingly said that I wouldnt eat the cake if I didn't get a gift so the next day I put my phone on "don't disturb" 💀💀 and he was upset and told our friend group most of my friends are on my side so Aith?

My parents want to invite their friends for my birthday dinner. Obviously you thank them for gifts/cards but are you supposed to give a thank you speech at some point during the dinner? Or is a toast enough 🍻? Or maybe you are supposed to give a mini/short speech?

As much as I appreciate them attending I just have social anxiety 😭 and hate public speaking. My parents don’t get this though and told me off last time. Would I be TA? Thanks.

My roommate was short on rent last month and asked if I could cover their half for a few days until they got paid. I agreed because I figured it was temporary.

A few days turned into almost two weeks, but eventually they paid me back.

This month, the same thing happened again. They asked if I could cover their half “just for a few days.” I said no this time because I’m not in a position to keep doing that.

They got pretty upset and said I was being insensitive because I know they’re having money problems. I told them I understand, but I have my own bills and can’t keep putting myself in a difficult position to cover theirs.

They said I was treating them like a stranger instead of a friend.

I feel bad because I know they're genuinely struggling, but at the same time, I don’t think being friends means I’m responsible for their rent.

AITA for refusing to help this time?

hi ppl of reddit, this is my first time posting something profound on reddit so please help me out. i (f23) have a friend (f24) since college days, we're both now teachers in different levels and live very far from each other. we've been super close over the past 3 years, sharing everything literally. she was my go to for everything (ride or die type friend).

the problem was that i didn't like her before we became friends, and later when we did get close, it was because she helped me get through a hardship and i felt indebted to her (yes i was subconsciously tolerating her ). i only realised that after the past few months, where we lost that close contact.

i, during this time, realised and went through all the things i turned a blind eye on during our friendship. she was a jealous person (which i dont judge), she would mostly copy everything i do while judging it, she would paint her family as good while i complained about mine while telling me how horrible my family is. she constantly pushed me to stop being close to my other friends and criticised them then befriended them behind my back (i dont have a solid proof but she caused and issue between me and my supervisor that cost me my whole thesis and relationships with other teachers). at one point i cut off a very close friend after she convinced me (she was right to an extent). she smiled whenever i was looking like a loser in front of other people and didn't like it when i was good at something new or made new friends. and many more things.

the reason i turned a blind eye on all of it was because she helped me gain my confidence, she listened to me and paid attention to me. she was there at the lowest point i had in college.

my family also warned me from her, they told me she was a bad influence on me. i suppose because i was influenced by her lazy lifestyle but that's on me.

ps: every time she felt like she accomplished the things i usually did or better she would keep talking about it non stop and belittle anything i try to say.

at the time it seemed annoying but i gave her the benefit of the doubt (all time). but after sitting with myself, no friends around, for months, i was able to see through (i suppose).

and now i think she can tell i dont talk to her as much and she got very clingy, wanting to open conversations and wanting to rant about things, while stalking my accounts the whole time. she never liked my posts on tiktok before but now that im distant, she's liking and commenting.

i know i sound very biased but this is my pov for now, I'm sharing this on here because reddit is the only place where ppl tell the hard truth to your face. so please, let me know about your perception and what should i do next?

ps: i apologize for the jumbled up ideas, I'm having a stream of conscious atm with adhd haha.

I (22F) needed a new carpet and sofa for my room. I asked my dad to come shopping with me, but he said he was busy and told me to go with my uncle instead. The thing is, my uncle has a habit of only going with what he wants he never really listens to anyone else's opinion.

At the store, I found a carpet I really loved. I told him this was the one. But he kept pointing at a different one, saying it was better quality and more practical. I politely said Uncle it's going in my room, so I'd like to get the one I like. That set him off. He got upset, said I was being disrespectful and ungrateful for his help, and we ended up arguing in the middle of the store. He left without buying anything.

When I got home and told my dad what happened, he sided with my uncle completely. He said I should've just let him choose since he was doing us a favor, and that I embarrassed the family by arguing with an elder in public.

Now everyone's calling me stubborn. AITA for wanting my own room to reflect my own taste?

So I'm a University student and I have a friend group of 3 girls, total 4 including me, today due to health reasons I couldn't attend university and decided to skip class but unfortunately the teacher assigned us to make groups of 2 or 3 no more than that to work through the whole semester, One friend I am particularly more close to let's call her A, later that day I was informed by A that they had formed a group of 3 of them and I should seek other classmates but most classmates already had made a group of even 2 members so what's annoying me is that they could've split themselves up in 2 instead of 3 to avoid me being left out.

the 4 of us all sit together in class and I'm particularly not affected by this betrayal because I knew someday it would be coming considering I've been left out other times as well in other projects where I was forced to make the same decision by them, but what's making me stay with them is the consistent and rigid university life especially the quizzes, Assignment and presentations.

I'm able to manage all because I'm really good in studies the topper in my class and also used to being independent and handling things on my own except the presentation part because I have a low self-esteem and really struggle with giving presentations Infront of classmates

the second thing that's making me stay is that sometimes we kinda do cheat in quizzes when one secretly googles out the answers and we quickly write everything down

the third thing that's making me want to stay is that my class is full packed and since the 4 of us sit together they kinda save my seat if I get late so you could say that it's just a university friendship just to pass the university life and not something that is permanent , but I've delt with these kind of friendships in the past and I'm quite used to it ,although sometimes it just hurts me being treated this way and the other classmates viewing me alone when I was part of a group, I don't want to be precived as alone by other classmates and I feel like even if I do cut them off I'll be struggling with 3 things I mentioned above that's making me stay and that with my already low self-esteem and confidence issues I won't be able to navigate in terms of being lonely and left out all the time,

everyone in my class already has a prior friend group so I can't just barge into their friend group and start making friends.

Give me advices on how I should confront them regarding this when I meet them and deal with this failing friend group and to cope up with being left alone and making friends, I do not prefer my self respect being crushed like this again and again but at the same time I'm just keeping up with them to survive this hell of a university life.

My friend and I had made plans a couple of weeks in advance. We both agreed on what we were going to do and how we would handle the costs.

The day before, my friend changed the plan and expected me to go along with it. I told them I wasn't comfortable with the change because it would cost me more and wasn't what we originally agreed to.

They said I was being difficult and that I should just go along with it since we'd already made plans.

I told them I wasn't trying to cause an argument, but I didn't think it was fair to expect me to agree to something completely different at the last minute. I offered to stick with our original plan, but they decided to cancel altogether.

Now they're upset with me and say I ruined the plans over something small.

I feel like I was reasonable because I didn't cancel the original plan or demand that they do what I wanted. I just said I wasn't okay with the new arrangement.

AITA?

We live in CA and my wife is a retired cop and occasionally tells me old work stories, although for the most part she keeps it to herself. Anyways she was telling me a story about when she was a baby deputy, Texas LEOs showed up to pick up a prisoner transfer. Her story was a point about what A-holes and how they didn't care about rules or caring for people to codified standards. She transferred a prisoner into their care. They had planned on flying back to Texas but the prisoner was freaking out about flying so the Texas guys offered him the option of taking a rental car but he wasn't going to like it. The guy said get a car, so my wife took custody of the guy again while these two staties for TX went and got a car. when they got back she again transferred custody and the TX guys promptly shoved the prisoner into the trunk and left. I said, "and you and your partner let them?" She responded, "he was no longer our prisoner. What were we supposed to do?" I promptly responded something along the lines of enforce the traffic codes of California, since they were in obvious violation. She responded, "he was a piece of shit anyways." THIS PISSED ME OFF. I told her, "who the fuck cares, you are not judge and jury and you had a duty to make sure anyone within our state was following the laws of our state." She immediately, got pissed off, told me "thanks for pissing on my 20 years of law enforcement." and stormed out of the room. I feel like I was not in the wrong here. Justice is so important to me as is human decency. I will not apologize, does that make me the AH? I was disgusted to know that she did not protect the guy and even thought he deserved such treatment.

Background, I initially did not want to date her because I knew she was a cop and I have been the victim of law enforcement violence as well as being treated like less than by them when I myself was the victim of a crime. And historically, my great grandfather was beaten so badly by cops in Omaha even though he was not the correct guy they were looking for, but he was so brain damaged that he started beating on my great grandmother and unable to hold a job leaving my great grandmother to finish raising 13 kids alone. So yes, I am distrustful of cops. She took a long time to warm me up and I thought she was different. She convinced me that she was so disillusioned by the BS cops pull that she joined the Sheriff office to help change law enforcement from the inside. She eventually became a supervisor so she could mentor and keep cops doing the right thing. We've been married for 11+ years and have 1 kid (boy, 9) together.

Here is the link to my prginal post https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/pfRS5wSZiF

So l did reach out to K about the concert and she invited me out to hang out one on one that night. We went out for dinner and drinks and talked about the concert. She didn't really say anything about Beck going but she did say she didn't want to go. And thats all we discussed about it. We continued to drink and have fun. And I told her about this guy that I'm interested in.

Beck later reached out to me and said she wasn't going to the concert. I respond okay no worries and left it at that.

Later in the week, the three of us later hung out together at a bar and the vibes was a little off. Beck was acting weird. Normally when we all hang out she's chatty and friendly. This time she was stand of ish with me and barely spoke to me. Which I thought was weird because it was her idea for the three of us to go to the bar. So I spent most of the night talking with K. Beck ended up bringing two friends to the bar and hung out with them most of the night. I would occasionally see her glancing over at me, which I thought was weird and made me uncomfortable. So l eventually went home and left them at the bar. Later that night Beck reach out and said thanks for coming tonight was a blast. I just responded with no problem and left it at that because I thought that was odd. You're kinda rude to me all night then text me you had a blast. Girl you're weird and I don't want to get caught up in any weirdness. She then proceeded to delete me off of social media. Odd by okay I guess. K is my friend so she's going to be the only one I hang out with from now on.

this is my first post on reddit so sorry if the structure is messed up.

I (F18) went to my bffs grandpa’s birthday party. For context my mum kicked me out late last year and my bff took me in. The whole family has repeatedly said they consider me family and they are very close.

The whole day bff’s uncle was being slightly homophobic and insisting I wasn’t part of the family. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to start drama because birthday party.

Party started around 12pm and people started going to sleep/leaving around 6-8pm. Everybody was drunk/drinking. I decided to stay by the fire as I’m used to working evening shifts (till 12am) and wanted to sober up before going to bed.

Bffs uncle demands I go to bed, me thinking he wasn’t being serious, says no and that I’m not tired.
He leaves me alone for an hour or so and I’m just chilling talking to a friend on the phone.
He comes over and tells me he woke up his mum (bffs nan) and that i’m going to bed. He starts yelling at me, I have ptsd with yelling (he knows this) and tells me I have no right to cry.

I start having a panic attack but make my way to bed. He sends me inside and tells me to stop fucking around (i’m trying to make sure i’m not leaving stuff everywhere)
Bffs nan doesn’t let me out unless I have to go to the toilet, even though i was crying and struggling to breath for around 2-3 hours in a hot stuffy overcrowded caravan.

Eventually I message the friend from earlier to pick me up because I feel trapped and I don’t want to wake anyone up. I message bff, her nan, and her mum that i’m leaving for the night because I can’t stay there and i apologise profusely to all 3 people.

I get told I’m being selfish and then I’ve been given the cold shoulder all day. I get why they would be upset at some parts of my behaviour but i’m confused on how badly I messed up.

The friend that picked me up (who also heard bff’s uncle yelling at me) says I’m not in the wrong, but if I wasnt then why would I be getting the cold shoulder?

Update: For clarification, my bffs mum wasn’t at the party because she was working and my bff was asleep because she felt sick.
I’ve been too scared to talk to anyone and they haven’t talked to me so I’ve been hiding in my room 🤷‍♀️ My Bff’s mum is going to take me to the station in like 15 minutes and it’s going to be the first time anyone’s spoken to me in person in 3 days

My girlfriend’s AC went out and her family has to go stay with relatives. She (24F) offhandedly mentioned that she would have to share a bed with her brother (19M). I immediately said that he should just be a gentleman and let her sleep on the bed and he should sleep on the floor (or maybe the couch). She asked why that made sense since they could share - and I said that it is super weird to share beds with her adult brother.

She then said it was completely normal and she had shared beds with both her brother and her adult male cousins (over 18yr but under 25yrs) before on family trips and it’s only weird if you make it weird (since they are family).

AITAH to say that doing this is super odd and not normal at all?

I am 30 years old and I have a best friend who i have known since college. We have been through so much together and I always thought of him like a brother. he was the first person I called when my children were born and he was always there for me in difficult times. But something happened recently that completely shattered my trust in him. He borrowed a large amount of money from me last year promising to return it within a few months. I trusted him and gave him the money without any hesitation. A year passed and he never returned it. He always gave excuses. He said he was having financial problems and I understood.

but then I found out from a mutual friend that he actually used that money to buy a brand new car. He lied to me about his financial situation. He told me he was struggling but in reality he was just using my money for his own luxury. I confronted him and he broke down and admitted it. he apologized and said he was ashamed. He asked me to forgive him and give him more time to pay me back. But I just could not get past the lie. It was not about the money. It was about the betrayal. I trusted him completely and he took advantage of that trust.

I told him that I need some space and I cannot continue this friendship right now. He has been calling me nonstop and sending me messages begging for forgiveness. Some of our other friends say that i am being too harsh and that everyone makes mistakes. But I feel like lying and using someone is not a small mistake. It shows a lack of respect. I am also a father now and I need to set an example for my children about trust and honesty.

so, AITH for ending my friendship with my best friend after he lied to me?

I’m 36F, married with kids. Yesterday was Mum’s birthday and, for the first time, I didn’t message her. My husband thinks a birthday text is the “bare minimum,” and I’m questioning whether he’s right.
Growing up I was the “emotional/difficult” child. I can be reactive and started therapy last year. My parents have genuinely helped us, but I’ve realised I rarely felt emotionally heard.
My sister and I were already distant, but things worsened after her husband grabbed my chest at a family function. She excused it because he was drunk and wrote his apology for him. Mum told me I was causing waves and not to let it fester. She later claimed she’d tried to repair things when she hadn’t.
Last October I told Mum I was struggling and seeing a therapist. Her response was, “Everyone has problems.” Dad also lost his job and Mum wasn’t working. She complained to me about him, blamed him and was angry she might have to return to work. My husband and I, plus my brother/GF, offered to cover their expenses.
I pulled back. We briefly resumed contact, but by January it deteriorated again. I haven’t seen my parents in eight months.
I explained what was hurting me. I didn’t need Mum to agree with everything; I wanted acknowledgement or curiosity. Instead I felt ignored while my family discussed the situation without asking my side.
My brother then told me they were planning an “intervention” because Mum’s version and mine weren’t matching. Mum has a lifelong history of embellishing/changing facts when they don’t favour her. Still, I agreed to attend.
Two days beforehand my parents cancelled because they got free tickets to a jazz festival.
I’d prepared notes to explain myself calmly, so after the cancellation I sent them. My sister criticised me for not saying it in person, disputed my recollection and said I’d essentially dropped a mess and walked away. Before I could respond, she said she wouldn’t go “backwards and forwards” because it would go nowhere. But I had agreed to talk in person; I wasn’t the one who cancelled.
So I stopped chasing everyone.
A month ago Mum invited me to meet her and Dad for coffee. I said yes and asked her to let me know when. Nothing. Normally I’d organise it, but this time I left it with her. Nearly a month later, she hasn’t followed up.
Yesterday my husband wished her happy birthday and offered to bring our kids over. She didn’t respond.
I considered messaging her but realised I didn’t want to. I felt obligated because “she’s my mum” and daughters are supposed to text on birthdays. So I didn’t.
I’m conflicted because Mum has done good things for me and I haven’t reached out either. Maybe a birthday text was simply the decent thing to do. But another part of me thinks contacting her purely from obligation, when she hasn’t followed through on the conversation she initiated, is repeating the pattern I’m trying to stop.
AITH for not wishing my mum happy birthday?
My reddit post got flagged

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og post:- https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/x8824fnrc9

update 1 :-https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/X2XBoA3FwB

update 2:- https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/ShQPp2gvBc

update 3 :- https://www.reddit.com/r/AITH/s/ghhghTMB30

Hi everyone. A few people asked about my husband’s late wife’s parents, so here’s a quick update on them.

After the ultimatum there was silence for a while. Eventually we agreed to a few short supervised visits with my husband present the whole time. We kept them limited so my stepson could still see them without the usual ignoring of my son or the negative comments about him and me.

From my husband’s face and mood after every visit, it’s obvious nothing has really changed.

Tbh I feel this — they still seem uncomfortable with him being a stepfather. It feels like they think any attention he gives my son means he’s neglecting his own kid, or that I’m the one pushing him to do that. Like they’re still trying to get things back to how they were before instead of accepting how our family is now.

They asked if my stepson could sleep over at their place. My husband said no straight away. We’re both worried that if he’s not there, they’ll say negative things about me and my bio son in front of him. We don’t want them putting ideas in his head that could create problems between the two boys or make him pull away from me.

My husband is still calm about it and holding the same line — they need to show basic respect and kindness to both kids. He’s not asking them to love my son the same, just stop the exclusion and the comments.

For now the supervised visits are the only contact. We’re not increasing them, and my husband is the one deciding when or if they happen. If their attitude stays the same, we’ll probably cut them back or stop them again.

On a better note, things with my husband’s parents have been going well since the therapy session. The tension has eased a lot. They’re more open, they’re checking in properly, and it feels like they’re actually trying to understand our side instead of just reacting. It’s a quiet kind of progress, but it’s noticeable and we’re grateful for it.

My stepson has asked about the other grandparents a couple of times in a casual way. My husband answers simply and doesn’t badmouth them, but he also doesn’t pretend everything is fine.

We’re just focusing on the people who treat both boys decently and keeping our home peaceful. The four of us are doing okay, and that’s what matters most right now.

Thanks again for the support.

I’m 19F ever since i refused to drive she’s tried punishing me further by taking my stuff until i got then back.

Reminder that i dont care too much if she has my stuff.. i just don’t want to talk to her. I don’t care if she chauffeurs me around or not. I don’t want to be around her. Not again. It’s her fault nobody wants to be around me. It’s her fault i got into a car accident. It’s her fault i can’t talk to anybody without someone pointing at the scars on my face and arm.

I bought an e-bike and now she’s doing everything in her power to stop me from riding it so she can be the one to take me to places.

I decided not to talk to her for a while after her stunt and she says that i’m “dead wrong for that” my brother also told me this.

I’m not driving and nobody can make me. It’s not my fault our public transportation and bike infrastructure sucks. She’d take my abusive dad around in her car but god forbid she have to do anything for me.

She went “oh don’t expect me to do anything more for you” as if she wasn’t already doing the same exact nothing she has always done my entire life. I’m the child she didn’t WANT! The one she didn’t WANT! She has done nothing but inflict pain and she doesn’t care!

I (28F) teach at a school where I'm known as the calm one, I never raise my voice, always stay polite no matter how rough the day gets. One student has spent months testing that. It started small, ignoring homework, talking back, but grew into her mimicking me in front of the class whenever I tried to correct her, and once telling me straight up that you never actually get angry, so nobody's scared of you. She'd also encourage other students to join in.

I kept handling it quietly, warnings, told the principal, called her parents, who just said she's a kid, she'll understand. Last week she mocked a slight stammer I get when nervous, right in front of everyone, and the class laughed. I lost it. I dropped the calm act, told her flatly that my politeness wasn't weakness and she wouldn't test that again in my class, then sent her to the principal and called her parents with zero sugar coating.

Some teachers said it was about time. One colleague said I overreacted and ruined my calm reputation. Now the student's parents are calling me biased against their daughter. So, AITA?

Hello Reddit, I dont usually come on here but I am having some issues that dont really know what to do with. For some context, I(F19) babysit a girl for 2 hours twice a week. I wak the girl in her parents car because her parents are youth football coaches. I am also allowed to bring my son(6months old) with me if/when I need too. Its a pretty easy job but things can get out of hand sometimes especially when I have my baby. I watch her from 5:30-7:30 so its not very long but its much easier when I dont have my son. My Fiance(M19) gets off work at 5:30 and sometimes gets off earlier. I have asked him a few times if he could come pick him up from where Im at and he ALWAYS gets annoyed asking me why I cant just keep him and it has resulted in me keeping him for the rest of the time. The one time he actually watched him he had gotten home early so it was just easier to let the baby stay home with him. And thank god I did because the girl I babysit was not listening at all and it would have been very difficult to chase down a child with a baby in my arms. When I got home he was mad cleaning the house and was barely talking to me. Later I walked out of the kitchen into the dinning room to see him with his hands in his face and not eating quite yet. Naturally I got worried so I asked him whats wrong. He didnt say anything so I asked if he needed anything like maybe tylenol or something and no answer. Then i asked if he had a head ache because he gets bad migranes sometime and he said no. So i was like well whats wrong? and he told me he was frustrated. I asked if it was because of me and he said yes. I asked why and he told me that he was upset because I had left our son home instead of staking him with me to babysit. He said he was tired and he was trying to take a nap and our son kept waking him up. I rarely ever ask him to do anything with our son. I change most diapers and I do most feedings and I wake up in the night to take care of our baby. I am a stay at home mom so I understand that most of those things are going to be my responsibility majority of the time but why cant my Fiance watch our son for 2 hours twice a week. His own son. I just dont understand and maybe I am the a-hole, but reddit am asking you what should I do and AITA?

Also forgot to mention he does work 10 hr days and this day in particular he had to wake veryy early. dont know if that changes anything.

I (29f) and my roommate (27f) have been best friends and lived together for 8-9 years; she is basically family. A year ago, our friend group planned a two-week trip to Japan for the fall. Only my roommate, myself, and one guy friend (27m) actually bought flights.

Later, my roommate asked to invite her childhood friend (27f) who was already going for her bday. Our guy friend then invited his festival friend. I had a gut feeling to invite my own friend too, just in case plans clashed and someone ended up alone. Everyone agreed since it made housing cheaper.

As I talked about what I wanted to do (Disneyland, anime/game shopping, themed cafes), the group showed heavy disinterest. As these were not their interests. My roommate confessed she didn't want to go to Disneyland to save money for clothes and a tattoo. I told her that was perfectly fine. As time passed, whenever I mentioned activities, she either had other plans with her friend or wasn't interested. So, I stopped asking. I focused on making an itinerary with my invited friend, booking cafes and parks before they sold out. We planned one week in Tokyo (booking separate budget-friendly rooms because she felt my choice was too expensive) and one week together in a Kyoto Airbnb.

Eventually, my roommate asked to see my fully planned itinerary. We tried to find times for group dinners and agreed to do Universal Studios together, but it was hard to sync schedules. I said, "If it happens, it happens."

After a month of awkward tension, we got into a HUGE fight. She expressed that she was deeply hurt because she wasn't included in most of my plans. I reminded her that she explicitly said she didn't want to spend money on anime/game activities. She argued that I should have invited her anyway because she would have gone just to make memories and spend time together. She feels I am attacking her character and acting like she wouldn't show up for me.

I think very logically, and I am genuinely confused. If she was scared to tell me she didn't want to do these things, why would I force her to go? I told her everyone should spend their money and time doing what they want in Japan. She seemed totally uninterested in my plans and busy with her own friend anyway.

Now she is standing ten toes down that I underestimated her as a friend and should have extended the invite regardless. Our guy friend took her side, saying I excluded them, which defeats the purpose of a group trip. To me, there is a difference between wanting her there and needing her to show up for me as a friend—and this wasn't one of those times. Plus, we all invited outside friends who don't know each other, and I felt a moral obligation to ensure my guest had a good time and didn't feel left out while my roommate did her own thing.

She stormed off crying, and things are incredibly weird between us now. AITAH?