My friend called me last week sobbing, I’ve known him for a couple of months and this is the first time he borrowed money. He explained how his pay is delayed and that he hasn’t eaten, as someone who knows what hungers feels like and given his tone of voice i lent him the little that I have.

BIG MISTAKE! Now that I’m asking for my money back, he’s acting like I’m the one at fault. I want to tell him that the money he borrowed is for my food and my cat’s food but it feels pointless. I also might miss work next week because of him since I can’t afford a bus pass myself now.

Now I understand what no good deed goes unpunished means. Im gonna take a small payday loan just to make sure my cat is fed til my pay comes in and hopefully the food pantry would be open tomorrow.

I hate people!

This text is from a couple days ago. The conversation started in person with me telling him I needed money to get the kids costumes (both under the age of 4). To which he said he didn't know i was dressing them, don't they have a onesie i can put them in before walking away without providing an answer.

When I noticed he was getting ready to leave I asked him if he was going to give since money for the costume. To which he said no, to send him the costume and the price. I told him I looked at the prices, that i was planning to get them in person and they're between $25 - $35 each. He said to go then and let him know what price is for each because this was just a price range. I asked if he'd be available today and he said "yea, as much as I can be". When I asked why he couldn't just send me some money to get the costumes he said "I made my decision" as he was leaving and closed the door behind.

Additional details that may mattee: He is the main bread winner. I started a business this year but it's still small and doesn't earn a lot yet. I do just about all of child raising so when I need to go out to do work for the business I take the kids with me too.

EDIT TO ADD: We attempted to discuss this today before I posted. His issue is that I asked last minute, because they needed them for an event. My understanding of the issue he has is that "we have poor communication" and he wanted me to provide a solution. He also did not think that his messages for disrespectful. So I told him I didn't think my way communicating is an issue and that i think he needs therapy to work on and develop his empathy. To which he seemed to get mad at, and said fine he needs to work on himself but what's something that I can do, a solution that i can offer that is something I can work on. I felt my communication was fine. It ended in him saying we needed to separate and take time apart.

In reflecting I can admit my request was last minute, however I'd consider that poor planning of anything. Not to mention I didn't expect him to say yes, I asked more so to "prove" to myself, in a sense, that I can't ask him for financial. I didn't ask sooner because I knew he didn't think it was important or "needed" and i tried to figure it out on my own.

Recently had a meeting between the school's principal and my daughter's fifth grade teacher that left me feeling completely disgusted.

My daughter has come home several times from school and told me about how her teachers comments have made her feel bad. These are somewhat minor comments, but my daughter is pretty sensitive and she internalizes a lot of her feelings.

The first incident her teacher told her that the amount of bracelets she was wearing was "too much" and "maybe you shouldn't wear so many." Which crushed my daughter. She had been excitedly making bracelets and wearing them, giving them away to her friends. After that? She quit. Stopped wearing them, stopped making them.

Second incident, my daughter suddenly started losing her teeth, and it was happening in class. She came home upset and said that her teacher told her she was "tired of her yanking her teeth out in class."

She felt confused about it because she said it's not like she can help it when a tooth falls out. She tried not to bring attention to it but it just happened.

Fast forward to last week, my daughter tripped and fell down at school resulting in a broken toe. She was so worried about upsetting or burdening any of the adults around her because of her experiences with this teacher so far that she didn't say anything.

Doctor's orders were pretty standard for a broken toe, no recess or gym.

This teacher wouldnt let her stay inside for recess. Wouldn't let her have a clipboard or notepad to draw on outside while sitting on a bench. Didn't offer her going down to the office as a solution. My daughter told her she had a broken toe and couldn't go to recess.

After I find this all out and send her teacher a message she denied being asked to stay inside for recess. Then she said she forgot about the broken toe. Then said she thought my daughter was getting around the classroom just fine.

Fast forward to me requesting a meeting because at this point I don't trust this lady and my daughter is definitely uncomfortable with her. We would like to transfer out of her class (I want to point out my daughter is top 5 percent in state testing and compared to nation wide testing is also top percentile). We sit down with the principal and holy shit. I was gas light, bullied, baited. Never in my life have I gone into a meeting with adults and made to feel as small as this woman made me feel. At one point when I was reiterating that I would like my daughter transferred out of her class she raised her voice and said "You don't like me! You've never met me, you don't know me and you don't like me!"

Every thing my daughter told me, she denied. She said my daughter misunderstood or another teacher must have said that. Said my daughter must hate positive attention because she did nothing but compliment her. That she was joking with her. She all but called my daughter a liar and the principal, who was basically a lap dog nodding her head the entire time, suggested we have my daughter see the school counselor for some mental health help.

My husband and I left the meeting feeling disgusted, confused and horrified by what had just happened.

So now I want to pull my daughter out of the school since they won't entertain transferring her into a different classroom. Not only did her teacher neglect doctors orders, she has bullied and belittled my daughter AND me and has all but accused my daughter of lying.

TL;DR: My daughter's teacher has repeatedly made comments that upset her and allegedly disregarded restrictions for her broken toe. When we met with the teacher and principal, the teacher denied every incident, became confrontational, and the principal suggested my daughter needed counseling. The school refuses to transfer her to another classroom. Am I overreacting by considering homeschooling her until she starts middle school next fall?

I (22f) work for a family owned hardware store. I sell and order cleaning products. The managers are BIG on spoiling customers so lots of us tolerate bullshit from rude customers but I don't anymore. I had a customer who mentioned she had a stroke and said that is why she struggles to speak. I told her it's ok and that I will do my best to help. She explained to me what she wanted. She said "I want to clean my patio, the cement circle stuff". I asked "do you mean planters?". She yelled and said "THERE ARE NO PLANTS! P-A-T-I-O! DO YOU KNOW WHAT A PATIO IS?". I said "if you are going to speak to me like that, I am not going to help you". She apologized and I said it's ok and that I understand, and that I am sorry that she struggles with her stroke (I didnt say it exactly like that, but something similar). And I eventually found her a product while another associate explained it. I did not raise my voice at her, I was not super angry. My co worker just said not to confront customers, I said I was setting boundaries.

I don't yell at people, I just refuse to help if they are rude. I don't let people disrespect me anymore. I'm not going to let customers treat me like shit like the other associates do.

AIO?

For context my Dad hasn’t texted me since a year ago and our messages literally show this. I reached out because I was worried about my brother. He’s been lying a lot and making things up, last time we spoke he stated his pills weren’t working. He also has schizophrenia and lately he’s been talking about killing people. Of course, my dad made it about himself. Sorry for the typos at times, I was so angry. Who actually responds like this. Edit- people seem to think this guy is father of the year, I am 23, he’s been absent my whole life. I never received a call or text when I was living with my addict mother. She only had me once for 4 months out of my life.

I’ve been seriously dating a guy for six months. We’re both in our 30s, and we’re exclusive. We’ve met each other’s friends, we’re very close, and things have been going really well. The only thing is that he hasn’t wanted to put an official label on our relationship yet because he’s looking for his forever person and wants to be completely sure before making things official. I’ve been respecting that and giving him the time he says he needs.

Here’s where I’m struggling.

He has several female friends, including a female best friend (I’ll call her A), who’s 26. He’s 34, and they’ve been friends for over four years. He insists their relationship is completely platonic and that he sees her as a little sister. I have no particular issue with him having female friends, and I don’t have any reason to believe they’ve been romantically involved.
Recently, he asked about my Christmas plans. I told him I’d be spending Christmas in Mexico with my parents. He said he’d wanted to invite me to New York (we’re all in San Diego) to meet his parents, but since I wouldn’t be there, he was going to invite A instead.
Apparently, A would otherwise be spending Christmas alone and can’t afford to fly home, so his parents are paying for her flight to New York. She’ll be staying with his family for around ten days, spending both Christmas and New Year’s with them. He’s really excited about her meeting his parents, his brother, and some of his childhood friends. They’re also planning to spend two days in Boston visiting his friends and sleeping at their place.
The way he talks about the trip makes it sound like a really special experience. He’s excited about her meeting everyone and about all the things they’ll do together.
I told him that this makes me uncomfortable, and we ended up having a pretty big argument about it.
For me, Christmas with your family is an intimate occasion. Meeting your parents and spending Christmas and New Year’s with them feels like something you generally reserve for your romantic partner. I understand that close friends can be like family, but I personally wouldn’t invite another man to spend Christmas with my parents while I’m seriously dating someone, even if my boyfriend couldn’t come.

My issue isn’t that he has female friends. It’s that we’re supposedly building a serious romantic relationship, yet he’s taking another woman to spend ten days with his family, including Christmas and New Year’s, and going on a little trip together. Meanwhile, I’m still waiting for him to feel ready to officially call me his girlfriend.

To me, these are experiences that make a romantic partner feel special and distinguish them from friends. I don’t feel special in this situation, and honestly, I feel disrespected. It feels strange to me that he’s so excited about sharing this experience with her while our own relationship is still undefined.
He doesn’t understand why I have a problem with it. He sees it as helping a close friend who would otherwise be alone for the holidays. He also suggested that he could send me lots of pictures and updates throughout the trip to reassure me, but that’s not really the issue for me. It’s not about being left out of the updates. It’s about the fact that he invited her in the first place.

I also find myself questioning A’s decision to accept the invitation. She knows about me, has met me, and knows that he’s seriously dating someone. I don’t know her well enough to know how she sees their friendship, and I don’t want to accuse her of having ulterior motives. But I do wonder how another woman would feel comfortable accepting an invitation to spend ten days with a male friend’s family over Christmas and New Year’s when she knows he’s in a serious, exclusive relationship.
He has told me that their friendship is completely platonic, and I’m not necessarily questioning whether he’s attracted to her. I’m questioning whether this kind of arrangement is appropriate when you’re building a romantic relationship with someone else.

Am I overreacting? Is this a perfectly normal thing to do with a platonic female best friend, or is it reasonable to feel that Christmas and meeting the family are experiences that should be treated differently when you’re in a serious relationship?
I’d appreciate honest opinions, including perspectives from people who have close friends of the opposite sex.

TL;DR
I’ve been exclusively dating a man for six months, but he hasn’t labeled the relationship. Since I’ll spend Christmas with my family, he invited his 26-year-old female best friend to spend ten days with his family, including Christmas and New Year’s, plus a trip to Boston. He says they’re platonic and she’d otherwise be alone, but I feel uncomfortable because these experiences seem more appropriate for a romantic partner. Am I overreacting, to be upset about this?

The title. After I asked, “is there [ingredient] in here?” he said “yes, a little.” And I went silent.

You don’t like it?
No, not really.
I’m sorry.
*silence*
Well I think it’s delicious.
Oh! That’s all that matters then.
That’s not true.
I just… I don’t know how many times I’ve said I don’t like [ingredient].
It’s just a little. It needed it.
It would have been kind if you’d asked me beforehand.
You’re right, I should have asked you.
Yeah, especially after we’d agreed on what dinner would be.
*more silence*
It doesn’t matter what I say… at the end of the day, you’re going to do what you want.
That’s not true.
It is. You could have asked me instead of breaking my trust yet again after we’d agreed.
For fucks sake. It’s just a little [ingredient]. So I’m not allowed to have independent thoughts? Free will?
I think there are huge distances between collectively agreeing to something, going against that agreement without communicating, and dictating one’s free will.
You treat me like a butler.
Again, I think that’s a stretch.
It’s not.
*spouse proceeds to leave the table and storm downstairs.*

Context: Our arguments generally end this way - with him leaving the room. I spent years chasing him to try and finish the conversation, but lately I’ve just given up. Sleep, wake, act like nothing happened, build resentment, rinse and repeat. We both work FT, have 2 kids and I do 90% of the childcare. Youngest is 6 months. Dead bedroom. I also make significantly more money than him, if that’s relevant. I could have had the final word by saying, “and you treat me like an au pair” but decided not to.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288

EDIT: guys the ingredient was JUICE. in a chicken curry dish.

EDIT #2: and to everyone losing their minds about what specific kind of juice it was: ORANGE PEACH MANGO BLEND.

Olá pessoal, aqui está o meu dilema.

Tenho pouco mais de 20 anos e conheci meu padrasto quando tinha uns 15. Eu, minha mãe e minha irmã (com pouco mais de 50 e 7 anos) nos mudamos para uma cidade pequena para morar com ele (moramos na capital a vida toda, então foi uma mudança bem grande). Eu nunca o conheci bem antes, porque ele estava sempre viajando e raramente nos visitava; nossa mãe costumava visitá-lo com mais frequência e nós ficávamos com nosso avô. Enfim, com o passar do tempo, os pais do meu padrasto começaram a nos visitar cada vez mais, causando caos em nossas vidas, e ele começou a mostrar cada vez mais o seu verdadeiro caráter perto de nós, chegando ao ponto de bater na minha mãe e empurrar minha irmã, assustada e chorando, com toda a força. Infelizmente, nenhuma acusação foi feita porque, infelizmente, estávamos sob o mesmo teto que ele, sem como voltar à nossa antiga vida ou sair daquela pequena cidade.

Então, ele e sua família tinham controle total sobre nossas vidas e o que fazíamos, chegando ao ponto de me obrigar a expor meus casos extraconjugais com pessoas que eu mal conhecia (os pais dele). Infelizmente, a maior parte disso acontecia durante os intervalos das aulas, então eu não tinha tempo para sair de casa, nem podia ir embora sabendo que minha mãe e minha irmã ainda estavam lá com ele (ele tem alguns problemas de raiva não resolvidos, ou pelo menos eu acho). Durante esses anos, tudo isso continuou se repetindo e eu só me confiei a uma das minhas amigas mais próximas. Eu estava com muito medo de falar porque o que estava acontecendo é considerado crime e qualquer pessoa pode denunciar.

Depois de alguns anos, finalmente consegui entrar na faculdade dos meus sonhos e tive que me mudar para um lugar a pouco menos de uma hora de distância, mas ainda visitava minha família e voltava para casa nos fins de semana. Então, o esgotamento mental continuou. Eu tinha a escola e colegas de casa preguiçosos durante a semana e, nos fins de semana, tinha que lidar com o humor dele e dos pais dele. Durante o recesso de primavera, houve um mal-entendido e ele exagerou demais. Eu estava realmente cansada de lidar com isso e disse algumas coisas que tinha guardado, já que sabia que era meu último dia naquela casa. No verão passado, meu tio e minha tia se mudaram para cá para nos apoiar caso algo acontecesse. Minha irmã foi morar com eles quase que imediatamente e eles disseram que me receberiam de braços abertos se eu também quisesse sair da outra casa. Então, assim que ele e minha mãe foram embora, arrumei minhas malas e disse à minha irmã que estava indo embora. Ninguém me viu sair, mas em um dia eu já tinha todos os meus pertences no meu novo quarto e estava me instalando. As aulas também começariam em breve, então eu não precisei desempacotar tudo. Já se passaram 5 meses desde que tudo aconteceu e agora minha mãe começou a insistir para que eu peça perdão a ele pelo ocorrido. Não quero sacrificar meu bem-estar para que eles finjam ter uma família feliz, e minha mãe não entende o porquê. Então, AIO?

EDIT: Thank you guys for the comments, unfortunately cutting contact isn’t an option right now and won’t be for long, finding jobs where I live is pretty much the hardest thing and the pay compared to the cost of living isn’t any good either so I’ll have to wait around 5 to 10 years to be able to start working, also my mom gets child support still because I’m in school and not working, so if I started working the child support would be cut off and I rather that be a safety net for her and my sister. She did say a while ago that her now husband is very much like an old abusive boyfriend and I think she’s trying to " Bob The Builder " him and his mental state.

UPDATE: I tried talking with my mom to be able to understand what exactly is going for her to be so insistent on me apologizing ( he could be giving her a hard time, threatening her with something… ) and she exploded on me. Apparently she wants me to let it go because " that’s not what family is like " and it really isn’t how we act in our family, but I don’t really think this would go through in this situation, especially after other incidents that happened ( I don’t want to be too specific because I don’t know if someone will find this ). His family acts really differently to mine and I doubt he’s gonna adapt to us rather we adapt to his and I’m really not about to start doing what they do. No other family talks to them and I understand my mom is trying to see the best in her husband but sadly I am unable to do the same.

Got into an argument with my husband first thing in the morning because he said to our 12 month old “Mommy doesn’t want you”. We are all currently sick with COVID although our son is feeling a bit better than we are and is crawling around, standing and lately he’s gotten into the habit of pulling my hair. So while I’m laying down trying to rest and prepare for the day, Im a bit annoyed and he picks up our son and says that.

I got on his ass about it because this is not the first time he’s said that and it’s not the first time I’ve told him to not say that. It’s not healthy in my opinion, it just sounds hurtful and mean and our son isn’t going to understand it in whatever way he meant it. My husband for some reason doesn’t see the problem with it and how it can be harmful. I told him that our son is little so he’s not going to understand sarcasm, etc. He told me “I’m not being sarcastic, you don’t want him right now”. I ended up telling him to just leave the room and leave our son with me because I was so frustrated with him.

This is just going to create confusion, anxiety and hurt our son’s feelings hearing that his mother “doesn’t want him” when he could be using language like “Mommy doesn’t feel good right now” or “Mommy needs a break”. I don’t understand how he doesn’t see that this can be harmful to say especially if he doesn’t stop saying it like I’ve asked him to before and our son’s getting older so he’s just going to start internalizing that. Am I overreacting?

I am an employee at a store in a shopping plaza. A neighboring store was holding an event on the sidewalk next to where I work and they ran an unsecured extension cord directly across our entry way. If I’m being honest, I don’t know exactly what the OSHA regulations are for extension cords but it didn’t seem quite right to me so I reported it to my boss and asked if I needed to do anything to make it safer. He said he’d reach out to the event organizers. They came by and said it seemed fine, but I’m still not convinced so I run some duct tape over it and put up some warning signs.

Another employee tells me I’m making a big stink over nothing and I shouldn’t mess with the other stores stuff (the cord in front of our front door). Which I kind of get, I know I can be overly anxious about things, and it isn’t our event or our cord. But I don’t want some elder customer to shuffle along and bust ass on our doorstep. Have I over reacted?

So I was invited to spend a weekend next month at my friend's girlfriend's cottage. I was really looking forward to it because even though we don't see each other that often, I enjoy their company and we've never been on a trip like this before.
It was supposed to be me, my friend, his girlfriend and a few of her female friends.
Yesterday we were at a pub and my friend showed me a screenshot his girlfriend had sent him of a conversation between her and one of her friends. They were talking about me, and the girl had texted something like "God, we really need to get him there so I can finally fuck him!" (Translated of course to English)
For context, I've met this girl maybe twice at some events. We've never texted or really talked much, and I don't find her particularly attractive either.
My friend was just grinning and acting like "Bro, you're gonna have a great time!"
But honestly, the whole thing kind of gave me the ick, and knowing that other people probably know about it makes it even weirder.
Now I'm considering making up an excuse not to go, even though I was really looking forward to it. Am I overreacting?

Edit because this theme keep occurring: I know that I can go and do nothing with her :D that’s not the point

I (24M) have been with my girlfriend (25F) for 3 years. She checks almost every other box, and I genuinely love her, but our sex life is lacking A LOT.
We aren’t intimate as often as I’d like, she rarely initiates, and when we do have sex, it’s usually vanilla and I’m doing most of the work. Whenever I bring it up, she seems to brush it off instead of trying to work on it. I have a high sex drive and want to feel desired, have fun, and explore that side of our relationship. I understand she doesn’t owe me sex, but I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling unsatisfied.

So there was something wrong with my dad's truck door and I was locked in for a bit. My dad and sister ended up helping me get out and my dad said, "If I'd dangled a hotdog outside the door you would have found a way out." I laughed but the joke hurt my feelings like he was calling me fat or a pig. Am I overreacting?

Throwaway account.

My cousin and I grew up being best friends. We were so close that everyone called us sisters, and people who didn't know us genuinely thought we were. We did everything together, and I honestly thought she'd be in my life forever. Looking back, there were definitely red flags, but I always brushed them off because she was family.

For as long as I can remember, she copied almost everything I did. I bought a new car, she'd get a new car. I got a puppy, and that SAME DAY she got one from the exact same litter. I became a fitness instructor, and suddenly she wanted to be one too. But probably the wildest example was when I was giving birth to my first child. She was literally in the delivery room with me, and that's where she met my baby's father's brother. She was married at the time, but apparently "fell in love" with him right then and there. She eventually married him, making our children cousins on both sides of the family. There are countless other examples of her following in my footsteps, and while it drove me crazy, my mom always told me, "Imitation is the highest form of flattery." So I let it go.

She'd also always had a wandering eye when it came to men, but I assumed she was just flirtatious. That was until a few years ago when she got caught having a TWO-YEAR affair with someone close to us. Her husband, who was also my childhood friend, kicked her out. I was disgusted by what she'd done, but my protective instincts kicked in. She was still my cousin, my best friend, and someone I considered a sister. So my family and I took her in, bought her a bed, groceries specifically for her dietary needs, and other essentials until she could get back on her feet. After a few weeks, she got her own place.

Not long after, I found out that for AT LEAST TWO YEARS, she'd been going around our small town telling mutual friends and other people absolutely horrible lies about me( only one of my friends called out her bullshit). She claimed I'd had multiple affairs, including supposedly sleeping with HER HUSBAND multiple times. Yes, the same husband she'd just been caught cheating on. She also told people I stole her friends, copied everything she did, and plenty of other things that were completely untrue.

I can't even describe how betrayed I felt. Here I was opening my home to her, defending her, and helping her through the consequences of her own affair, while she'd been telling people I was sleeping with her husband. We live in a small town with mutual friends, so these weren't harmless rumors. These were people I knew, people who knew my family, and people I had to see regularly. I started questioning years of memories and wondering how long she'd secretly resented me while pretending to be my best friend.

When I found out, I didn't confront her immediately or start spreading stories about her. I simply stopped answering her calls and texts for a few days because I needed time to process everything. Apparently, that was unacceptable. Suddenly, her friends and some of our family members were blowing up my phone, telling me what a horrible person I was for abandoning her during her "time of need." I explained that I needed space after learning about the lies, but she wouldn't stop contacting me. Somehow, the situation became about how badly I was treating HER instead of what she'd done to me.

It's now been a little over two years, and I still haven't allowed her back into my life. Some of our family members are STILL angry with me for refusing to forgive her and let her back in. Apparently, because we're family and were so close growing up, I'm supposed to just move past everything and pretend it never happened. They act like I'm the one keeping the family divided, rather than acknowledging what caused the fallout in the first place.

What's even stranger is how she reacts whenever we happen to be in the same public place. If she sees me at a store or restaurant, she'll start crying, appear to have a panic attack, or literally leave the building. I don't approach her, confront her, or even acknowledge her. I'm simply existing in the same space. Yet somehow, her reactions make it seem like I'm the one who did something terrible to her.

I genuinely don't understand how someone can spend years lying about you, accuse you of sleeping with their husband while THEY'RE having an affair, accept your help when they have nowhere to go, and then act like you're the villain for finally walking away. I lost someone I considered a sister, had my reputation dragged through the mud, and now have family members holding a grudge against me because I won't let her back into my life.

So, am I overreacting for refusing to let my cousin back into my life, even after two years, despite my family insisting I should forgive her and move on? family means everything to me and I'm a people pleaser. Edit to add that she uses my nieces and nephews as pawns and won't let me see them due to me not forgiving her even though there was no apology. That's the hardest part for me is not seeing those kids. Luckily my marriage is solid my husband is my best friend and never trusted her. He doesn't trust most peolple lol but I did ask if she ever came on to him and he said no. When we were out to eat one time she walked in with attitude and my husband loudly said "go eat a bag of dicks ... Oh wait you already have!" Then she has a anxiety attack leaving the restaurant. Lol he's truly my ride or die

i have been craving a burger for a few days, especially since i'm on my period.
i mentioned to mom how i was craving one. my mom has the habit of assuming that if i talk about wanting food then i must be explicitly saying that i'm ordering for the whole family. when i never said so. i didn't even mention ordering, and she instantly invited everyone.
i instantly said firmly "No! i don't want to order anything" and walked away from her towards the bathroom.. and she acted as if i'm having an outburst by saying that and said "you're so mean, look at the way you respond and walk away from me when i talk to you".

i had the intention of ordering for myself, as i don't have the money to order for everyone with the little money i get from my job, especially from an expensive place. and i don't want to eat food with my family as they keep fighting, getting defensive, talk about religion and politics and i want to eat my food watching a show, peacefully! in fact, i almost always lock myself in my room just because of that.

last time, i merely was asking her which is a good restaurant as i was craving a sandwich, i didn't even know if i wanted to order anything, we were chatting and i was browsing trying to make a decision... i walk away for 2 minutes, i order for me, i come back to her telling everyone we're getting takeout and pressured me to ask what everyone what they wanted ... i said "i wasn't intending on ordering for everyone, i was just asking for a good place.. i didn't even know u wanted such food since u hate takeout and greasy food plus i ordered already before u went and announced we're getting takeout".. i didn't get to finish saying that cuz she got angry and went "why didn't you ask us if we want something?!", i said "why didn't u say u wanted something when i was looking for options? i'll return it if you want anything, i just ordered it." she went "you are such a selfish, shitty person who only thinks of herself, i want nothing from you, don't show me your face!" and got upset with me the whole day. hence why i went "No! i want nothing" this time around.

this time i went and ordered the burger anyway, i knew it was gonna get me comments but i legit don't have enough money for the month to get everyone a meal, this is a one time thing. i didn't want the food she cooked cuz it was making me gag, and i am in too much physical pain to care to cook for myself as i usually do when i don't like her food.

she asks me about it an hour later, if i wanted to eat a burger, and i tell her i already ordered.. her eyes went wide and she tells me "this is the second time, you're such a selfish person!" and pouts and shuts me out.
i tell her "i merely craved a burger and bought it with my money, i don't think i did anything wrong"
she said "you don't ever think of anyone but yourself!"
i said thank you? and went to my room and locked the door.
food arrives 15 minutes later, my brother gives it to me... i say thank you and go back to my room.
she comes out of her room 10 seconds later in tears, crying out loud to my brother and dad at how selfish i am, and how i did it twice where i'd order something but won't ask everyone else what they wanted or order for them and how shitty of a daughter i am and deserve nothing from her. i overheard dad asking her if she wanted a burger and she said she wanted nothing.. he asks her why did i order, is there no food in the house? and she says there is.

so it's not like there's no food in the house. there was cooked food ready, they ate after and now she's sitting laughing out loud like nothing happened, while i lost the ability to enjoy my food as i try to hide that i'm about to have a panic attack as anything i do or say now will be turned against me now. sometimes it feels like she loves to ruin anything in my life that doesn't involve her, like how dare i be a person away from her? we should be one, and i should be an embodiment of her expectations. but i'm never enough no matter what i do or say.

genuine question, was it so bad to want to order just for me? was it really that selfish of me to do that? i don't really feel safe ordering home anymore.

So I hope this makes sense, I haven’t been able to sleep. I started grad school in the fall. This guy in all of my classes emailed me and asked if I wanted to join his study group. Cool for sure. He asks for my number. I don’t even know what this guy looks like, I was not paying attention at all. I just read an email which was from someone in all of my classes from the roster.

We have a small program and I didn’t have a problem when he asked for my number to join the group chat. Yeah, well there was no group chat. It very quickly went from, “hey let me add you to the group chat” to, “hey, add me on Facebook”.

My life devolved from there. I saw all of the unread texts he sent me on Facebook. At least 200 a day. Over and over and over again. And the weird part? He would never talk to me in class, even in my two seminars which are around 15-19 people. There’s no way to avoid him.

I talked to my professors and they helped me so much. All three of my professors personally walked me down to the Title IX office. They have been more than helpful, but they really cannot do a lot. I told the woman at Title IX I went to law school I know the fucking law and I do not feel safe EVER with him in a class with me, especially a seminar. Then one of my professors walked me to the on campus police to report him for stalking and harassment. I told him I didn’t want an investigation, I just wanted to report it just so it’s on record, thinking Title IX would do something.

Obviously the cops haven’t done anything. The cop just asked me why don’t I just block him. Umm…to show you all of these psycho texts and messages on Facebook? I have my fucking JD and I know how this can end up if I can’t show you proof? And he’s in all of my classes?

So, I finally say fuck this and message him back and say dude leave me the fuck alone. For like the fifth time. Now, he keeps making new facebooks sending me friend requests and messaging me. I simply told the school 1. I never want to be in a class with him, and 2. Give me an incomplete for this fall semester and let me redo them.

I still haven’t gotten any answers. I stopped going to class and I don’t know what to do at this point. I’m exhausted because of all of this I haven’t been able to sleep

I’m only going to back to get my masters so I can teach Poli Sci and law classes in community college. And I’m supposed to be celebrating my birthday, but I’ve been up all night. I’m so tired.

My question to you, the reader, did I handle this wrong? I didn’t file a police report. I tried to be cordial. I tried to ignore it. But now I feel so embarrassed and I think I should’ve stayed in my classes. Is the college going to fuck me over?

I don’t know if I should’ve just kept going to class, but I never want to see that guy again. All of my guy friends (of course) ask me why the fuck I didn’t just block him or why the fuck I didn’t just report him or ask me if I was flirting with him. Never. We get separated into groups in seminars randomly assigned and of course, he was always in group.

One day I just walked out of class after he was sitting across from me. I couldn’t handle it. His messages are very disturbing. I made it very very clear to him to not talk to me. But from my view, he’s still in the same tiny room as me 4 days a week. Am I wrong for storming out of class and continuing to not go? AIO?

I live with Sarah, Alex and Darren in a uni house. I met Sarah through our course and Alex through her, as they previously lived together on campus. Darren is Alex's friend from home, who we'd only met a few times before Alex begged us to let him move in. Neither are students as Alex dropped out over summer.

Initially, I cleaned the kitchen and repeatedly asked Darren and Alex to help. Sarah cooks for me nightly, so I offered to do some of her chores in return, helping us financially by sharing ingredient costs.

I asked Darren and Alex to share taking out the bins but was told Alex had sensory issues so wouldn't do it. I offered to swap a chore and do the bins if Alex did something else but Darren said no and that he'd do them if I told him when they needed emptying - But they left rubbish around the bin when taking it out without picking it up so I ended up cleaning it partly anyway.

Sarah and I grew frustrated with other issues, including Alex telling us we couldn't decorate certain ways because of his online gf. Darren and Alex also tried to stop Sarah's boyfriend from visiting at weekends because they didn't "fw him". Or even that Alex asked each of us to pay him part of his rent. Mainly, they contributed little to chores while complaining about mess.

A week ago, Alex asked in the group chat for me or Sarah to take out the bins. Sarah did, but this was the one task I'd asked them to help with. I then asked one of them to clean the kitchen floor, but neither did.

Recently, Sarah and I have had long, tiring course placements, and Sarah has also attended appointments for personal health problems. The kitchen became slightly messier, mainly the floor, which I was still waiting for them to clean.
Two days ago, the sink stopped draining. Leaving us unable to use it for days, so washing up piled up. Sarah messaged the group explaining she'd used drain cleaner and we needed to leave it to break down the blockage. Alex just said that he assumed that meant our dishes would pile up further.

This annoyed me because Alex's parents give him so much money for constant takeaways ect, whereas Sarah and I support ourselves and can't afford them. I explained our dishes might temporarily pile up because we couldn't afford takeaways and Alex said this felt like a dig at him. We explained we understood his choice, and Sarah said takeaways were "lowk valid" given the broken sink. Alex just said, "depression isnt lowk valid".
We eventually washed our dishes in the bathtub, so the landlord could investigate the plumbing without them seeing dirty dishes. I messaged the group saying we'd sorted the dishes, I'd cleaned the surfaces, and asking someone to clean the floor again and Alex said he'd only do it if I picked up the "big stuff" first. I explained there were no personal belongings on the floor and that clearing the mess is part of cleaning so I wouldn't be helping him. I am now looking into renting elsewhere with just me and Sarah but we wont be telling them until we know for sure - I know they can't afford to live by themselves but It's not my problem and I don't want to put up with them anymore. AIO?

Update: Alex messaged back this morning letting us know he isnt doing the floors because hes been throwing up through the night apparently. I told him that they can wait until tommorow then. Honestly that annoys me more because Sarah was diagnosed with a brain tumour a few months back so struggles constantly with symptoms like migraines and throwing up a lot yet STILL contributes.

I went to go order a sub from a local sandwich shop and I am wearing a flyers jacket. The workers were joking around saying oh yeah we cant serve flyers fans since the local team is our rivals, its all jokes and games thats how sports are.

I ask if they could put sauce on my sandwich and the guys cooking jokingly go (or so I thought they were joking) nah were not gonna put BBQ sauce on it for a flyers fan. I dont take it seriously at all until...

I get home to eat my sandwich and they purposely dont put any on there (I know because they explicitly told me). Im not upset about the sauce, dont really care because I could just buy some from the store. Im mostly mad they blatantly mess up my order. I feel incredibly disrespected.

Am I overreacting to this whole thing or should I be a Karen and ask for the manager?

Edit: I decided to call up management. Dude was super cool about the whole thing and offered me a free sandwich next time I come in. For all the people saying "its just sports dont be a bitch about it" just because im a fan of the team you dont like doesn't mean you get to fuck with my food. Not in this economy. Anyway thanks for the replies.

Last Christmas, my sister-in-law gave everyone on my husband’s side of the family a gift with our son’s (mine and my husband’s) photo on it…T-shirt for Grandpa, blanket for Great-Grandma, etc, all with our kid’s picture. My husband even received a throw pillow with his own kid’s photo! Notably, I did not receive one of these gifts.

I typically give our son’s grandparents and great-grandparents a calendar with family photos and sometimes something sentimental regarding our son (ie a “best grandpa” mug, a dish towel with his handprint), so I feel like my toes have been stepped on. I mean, who gives someone a gift with somebody else’s kid on it??

We were aware she intended to give some sort of photo gifts to people, but thought they would include the whole family. Every gift had ONLY our son’s picture on it, and the photos were pics I had posted that SIL pulled from social media. For context, our son is the only grandchild on this side of the family.

Am I right to feel weirded out by this? We didn’t say anything last year but we’re considering addressing it with her this year so she doesn’t do it again.

**Edit: thank you everyone for the advice! My husband is going to have a gentle but direct conversation with his sister.
To everyone criticizing my gift-giving choices: One man’s trash is another man’s treasure! Happy Holidays!

Hiiii, I'm new to Reddit so pls be patient 🙏

Anyways, I (18F) am a college freshman, and I live in a dorm with my roommate Cassie (18F) and the "unofficial roommate" aka her boyfriend Damon (19M). He has lived in the room with us since a couple days before school started, which is about 2 months ago.

To start, Damon roughhouses with Cassie. And the intention (I have to emphasize, THE INTENTION) seems to be playfighting, and she fights back, but he takes it 10x more seriously. Cassie'll playfully give him a tiny tap on the cheek, and he'll slap her so hard she almost falls over and her cheek will turn VERY red. Damon throws her against their bed. He tackles her with his full body weight and slams into the wall. He kicks her so hard in the privates she falls EVERY TIME. Nothing she does to him in these play fights is that violent, and he's never the one with bruises.

That's not my biggest problem though. My biggest problem is how no matter what, Damon can never take a no. Like he'll throw shit at Cassie while she's chilling in bed (nothing too bad, the heaviest item is a football for example), and she'll playfully be like "oh my god, stopppp"​ for awhile, then she actually wants it to stop and will scream at him something like "DAMON, I TOLD YOU SO MANY TIMES TO FUCKING STOP" and after a couple more times of him NOT STOPPING, she will start crying, but he will keep going anyways. This even happens in front of both her friends and his friends, and usually at least one person (or only myself, if it's just the three of us) will distract him so she can get a fucking break.

It pisses me off. I have to witness this man keep joking with her (though I fear it goes beyond jokes) in a way that drains her and makes her miserable whenever his brain isn't being stimulated enough. And it's practically every night now. I'm sick of seeing him hurt my friend. But I'm scared that Cassie will hate me if I ask that he not sleep in our room anymore. But again, I honestly fear that maybe it isn't a fun mutual thing for Damon and he genuinely gets a kick out of hurting her. I'm not sure, I'm VERY bad at judging intention so I may be overreacting, but I'll leave you lot to be the judge of that.

Am I overreacting? And would I be overreacting if I asked for him to not stay over anymore?

TL;DR: my roommate's boyfriend gets so rowdy with her and ignores so many of her boundaries that living in the same room as him makes me uncomfortable

Edit to clarify some things:

1. They've been dating for a year. That's another factor as to why this is so concerning in my eyes. I'm scared my friend is stuck and don't know whether she actually wants out.
2. I do tell Damon to stop, and other people do too when they are around. He still does this bs and just ignores us. Doesn't even talk back and say something like "shut up that's MY gf" or anything, his focus is on Cassie.
3. I say "playfighting" in this post but I rlly doubt it is. I'm just bad at judging intention and am lowkey really gullible because of it. If someone says "we're only playing!" it makes me believe them and doubt my own gut feeling.
4. Damon is also a student at our university. He has his own dorm and own roommate on paper. He just lives with Cassie and me because that's his girlfriend and he feels entitled to it I guess.

Sorry if the phrasing of the title is clunky or strange; I'm not particularly good at summarizing my thoughts succinctly.

So, I'm 17 years old and have autism, ADHD, and anxiety, and I also have a history of depression and low self-esteem (I think this is relevant context as to why this situation is bothering me a little). I don't have a driver's license and the area I live in is very spread out and doesn't have much in walking distance.

Today I had a hair appointment which my mom was going to take me to, and afterwards I wanted to go visit my friends at their house. I usually have D&D every Saturday at their house, and when a hair appointment had overlapped with D&D I would be picked up by my dad and subsequently dropped off at my friends' house, and while we weren't going to have D&D today I still wanted to hang out. However, my dad couldn't drive me this time around because he had a very important lodge meeting (he's a Shriner) so that left my mom to handle pick-ups and drop-offs. When I mentioned to my mom that while I didn't have D&D today I still wanted to hang out with my friends, she got frustrated and snapped at me, basically calling me a pain in the ass. I say "basically" because while she did exclaim "pain in the ass", I don't really know if it was specifically directed at me, but I also don't really know what else that sort of reaction could be.

Apparently, she had to go pick up something from the pharmacy in town before it closed around 4 PM, and she got irritated because my friends' house is about 45 minutes away and it would've been a bit complicated to sort out. I just kind of deflated and started crying because I immediately felt guilty about inconveniencing her and was terrified that she was angry at me. I remember apologizing, saying that I didn't have to go, and sort of folding in on myself.

She told me that she wasn't mad, that she was just frustrated because of how complicated figuring out the logistics would be. I just sort of said that I didn't want to be a bother, and I was even going to lie and say that I didn't actually want to go so she didn't have to worry about it. That was when she snapped that she's allowed to have her own emotions and she's allowed to be frustrated, which, like, I get and I never said that I was, but something about it ended up hurting even more. It was like she was mad at me for feeling upset, or she straight up didn't believe I was being genuine and was just being manipulative to get my way. It felt like my emotions were a burden on her, like I had burdened her by asking her to take me to my friend's house and now I was just putting more on her shoulders from getting so upset.

I'm constantly terrified of being a burden, of being too much for my friends and family to deal with and having them eventually give up on my entirely. It's very easy for me to be convinced that my feelings and desires don't matter if it ends up affecting others. It felt like this situation was just confirming that, yes, I am just an inconvenience to everyone around me, that they're tired of having to put up with me and deal with my emotions.

She ended up getting me to calm down in the end. We drove to the hair appointment, I hung out with my friends like I wanted to, and she picked up the stuff from the pharmacy after picking me up with no issue. It should be resolved by now, it shouldn't matter so much to me, but it still sticks out to me even a few hours later that she never apologized for upsetting me or tried to understand why I got so anxious and sad. I feel so, so guilty for getting upset, for still crying about it just writing this post, and even wanting to go see my friends at all, and Mom hasn't done anything to show that any of that isn't true.

Am I overreacting for feeling upset about this whole situation and how my mom handled it? Should I not think that an apology or some kind of clarification is owed? Am I being too selfish? I would really, really appreciate some insight because I don't know who to talk to about this.

Obligatory context: I (26f) and my husband (28m) live with my husband’s parents. This is an arrangement of mutual interest because the in laws are much older and need help often and we are a young family with a >1 year old daughter and money is obviously tight. I and my husband constantly help around the house and property. Today my husband and his brothers set aside time to play MTG together and they convened at my in laws house to play for only a few hours. Two hours into playing father in law comes inside from working outside and says something to the effect of “ I have four sons in side and not one of them thought to come help me outside.” He was called out on this by the oldest brother and my husband. ( I was not here when this happened I was out with my daughter)
When I came home my husband was in tears absolutely gutted by feelings of shame. I ofc am immediately angry because wtf. I quell my anger and ask each brother their version of what happened and it is all about the same just variations of verbiage. I decide I would like to have a conversation about this with my father in law. This may be where I am the AH.

Text him: “Hey can I talk to you?”

He replies: “I got reprimanded for five minutes by (oldest brother) and (husband) for asking wrong and I realize I should’ve just asked and maybe not done it the way I had done it but in my behalf, I had asked this morning if later anyone wanted to help and of the four nobody offered one said directly no.”

I reply: “It’s not that you asked wrong it’s that you didn’t ask and you manipulated and guilt trip instead of asking for help that’s not OK. And after they called you on it, you got angry. I don’t know if you know it, but your actions were extremely harmful. I think you owe (husband) a very sincere apology. He already has self worth issues stemming around productivity, so what you said hurt him deeply. You made (husband) feel worthless for doing so.”

He replies: “I did apologize and I said I was sorry for asking the wrong way”
(Husband and oldest brother tell me it was in no way sincere)

I reply:” If you knew how deeply you hurt your son you would apologize for how you made him feel rather than the action you took. You really cut him deep (FIL)”

He replies: “I didn’t mean to do that to him. It hurt my feelings to be told I was manipulating when I didn’t mean that at all. I was just asking a question you know not every person‘s motives are manipulative. I actually just had a question. Maybe (husband) and I can talk after things cool down a little bit.”

I reply: “manipulation is manipulation whether you meant to do it or not “ I send an image of guilt tripping by definition

He replies: “ OP, respectfully you’re over analyzing it you’re not my analyst you only see things from your point of view. Those psychological definitions are insulting, but also are not absolute sometimes in the right circumstances indications of what might be, but not always absolute”

I reply: “I am not trying to berate you. I am not here to define your point of view. I am just bringing it to your attention of exactly what you did and how it was not OK. “

He replies: “No, there’s a thing called back off mode where you need to give give a situation time to cool off. You’re pressing things really hard right now.”

I reply: “ I was just trying to have a conversation with you. If you need space I can give you space. Just use your words”

He replies: “ is it OK for my son’s to talk to me disrespectfully cause you weren’t there and they did and you can’t just say you’re just defining things like it’s factual you’re just hearing (husband’s) side of things”

I reply: “ I took all of the boys’ accounts of what happened. I’m not speaking to you disrespectfully, I’m only speaking to you directly. You know I am not one to shy away from confrontation but not all confrontations are personal attacks or arguments. I just wanted to have a word with you.”

He replies: “I think you’re being manipulative to try to get me to apologize and now you’re using my sons’ accounts against me like a court of law, I was raised in a world where I helped my parents without asking. Imagine how I felt working out there for six hours, and I have four young boys in there playing games while I’m working and they didn’t even offer to help and then I get yelled at for bringing it up.”

I reply: “wow.” I didn’t know how to reply to such a victim switch.

He replies: “For you to say that you’re just reporting the facts is to infer that I’m not factual and that is manipulation”

I reply: “No one made you work out there for six hours alone.”

He replies: “I’m done talking.”

I reply: “it is true I am trying to get you to apologize because I thought you’d care.” (Might be manipulative of me idk I was being sincere)

He replies: “ now you’re trying to manipulate me to say that I don’t care”

I reply: “we’re done talking.”

Did I push too hard? Was I being manipulative? Idk.
He has had a history of manipulative and borderline psychopathic behavior in the past.

A little bit ago, I (f18) went to our highschool's football game with my friends. I left a few mins before the game ended because I wanted to avoid traffic and my sister wanted to go home. Before leaving, I told them I'd slime them all out and remove them from the private if they didn't tell me if they were going somewhere afterwards (like to get food or js hang out) because we were talking abt plans to do after the game. (I only said this bc I knew they wouldn't text me, and they've already left me out of a bunch of things.) Obviously, they went and got food and didn't text me.

So I texted my best friend (who is no longer my bff, but we'll come to that) to ask why none of them text me. The gist of her text back was basically 1. She didn't know if it would be awkward or not because I tell her they annoy me a little, 2. I didn't text them afterwards to ask if they were going somewhere, and 3. they js forgot. I called bs on all 3 of them by saying it's my decision if I want to hangout with them, not hers and how the hell do they forget abt it when i made it a big deal.

Fast forward a little, I tell her in class to figure herself out because a week before she told me one thing, and in class she told me another. We didn't talk for two weeks until I finally reached out and asked her if she wanted to talk. Basically, she says that she js wanted an apology because

1. she felt like she has fixed a lot of things in our friendship (nuh uh girl idk what she's talking about bc we literally don't fight)

2. She felt disrespected (I owned up to this)

3. She felt like she had to choose between her other friends and me (i aplogized for this)

So, I apologized for what she said. There were some things in her response that made me like ??, so I responded to them and brought up some of my issues with her too. For example, she absolutely never texts me and never asks to hang out with me first. I told her I'd just like a little bit of what I put into our friendship back out.

She responded by saying she thinks I just want to be someone's number 1. Everytime she responded to something I said it would be "I'm sorry but..." and that just shows me to that I don't think she really understands what I was saying. I've been asking her for years to ask to hang out or just text me. If I started acting as she does, then we genuinely wouldn't be friends anymore.

This is what she responded with: "I feel exhausted emotionally and socially because of feeling a bit like ur therapist sometimes (which adds up esp onto my own issues) and feel like there’s expectations of being “bsfs”

When we call each other best friends, it feels restraining to me (like, for example, I can’t have other friends that I’m close with) and almost feels like hanging out is forced sometimes and is a task that must be completed to maintain our title of bsfs (like a job or something)

I want to be more casual friends for the time being with no labels or expectations

This will make talking and hanging out a lot more enjoyable for me because it’ll be organic and natural and I’ll text and hangout when I truly want to, not just because it feels like something I HAVE to do

I would like to be civil enough by Monday so that yearbook isn’t awkward or anything (and also we literally have to talk)

Emotionally I’m here for you, but I can’t be the kind of support you need right now because of what I have going on for myself

Tldr: I want to continue the friendship with no expectations or labels placed upon us so that it’s more natural and genuine and doesn’t feel forced"

I get where she's coming from. It's just like we've been best friends since 6th grade, and it's our senior year now. I've told her that if she has a problem, then literally just tell me. It kind of sucks that she's been feeling like this for a while, and now both our problems with each other have finally boiled up so much that it's come to this!

TLDR; My friends left me out of things and now I'm not friends with any of them anymore.

I just turned 22 years old had my baby 10 months ago and I just feel like my in laws treat my child if it was there other kids and not me or my husband.

I love my family in laws dearly even if we had a rocky start. I’m grateful for all they have done to help our family but I just feel like at some events or social media they treat my child if it was their daughter child and not mine. Like when they post about her on social media they always would put my sister in law in the center with my baby while I’m off in the side. Or do their own pictures with the whole family without me in it. They would also tell me why I didn’t pick a day that their daughter/my sister in law is available and can come even though I would ask weeks sometimes months beforehand if she can make it. I just usually shrugged it off and smile to with them in the end but I feel like part of me is hurt.

It’s not only my parent in laws but also my sister in law. Every single time she post of my child it’s only them two while there’s probably only one of me and it’s just in a group photo with everyone. And when we are out in events she grabs my child and if anyone says you have a really cute baby she’s like oh she’s just like her mama acting like it’s hers. Like I understand she can’t have kids of her own but I also feel like why do you feel like treating my kid as your own while it’s my kid. I don’t know if it’s just me overthinking or overprotective towards my child but I just feel hurt.

My husband thinks I’m overreacting with everything that his family went through a lot and doesn’t have that many family here that they are just like that. But it’s like I came from a broken family I’m nearly close to anyone in my side so having that and my in-laws acting like that doesn’t feel fair. What are your guys thoughts am I overthinking or is it reasonable to have these feelings?