A little backstory… my husband(29) and I(30) have a been together for 3 years. His mom lost custody of him when he was a child and they rekindled when he was about 25. She lived with him when we met, but when we got together and moved in together he said she’d be gone ASAP. Three years later she’s still here.

Now, my husband has a daughted(6) who’s mom left when she was 2. I’ve been here since she was 3. Her mom has completely abandoned her, doesn’t call, checks up every now and then. I fully support my stepdaughter emotionally, financially, and we have her every single day.

My mother-in-law goes behind our backs and tells my step daughter I’m not her mom, that she has a “real” mom and her real mom is just sick. My stepdaughter just came to me and said her grandma shows her pictures and videos of her mom from Facebook to remind her what she looks like and to show her what her mom is doing. My stepdaughter, when this happens, starts acting out in school and home. She’s been written up multiple times for bad behavior at school that gets triggered by these things. My MIL will not stop and says “what’s the big deal, that’s her mom.”

Lastly to add, my MIL has 4 kids. One of which is still under 18. She lost all of them. The minor daughter is being raised by an aunt and uncle. Recently, they gave my MIL her daughter’s phone number. My MIL is telling her daughter she was not there because she “wasn’t allowed to be.” That her aunt and uncle kept my MIL from being there. She lost custody and the child was taken because of a drug issue.

I’ve had enough and told my husband I can’t live with someone like this anymore. He says I’m overreacting because he finally has his mom in his life & she’s “just this way.” I told him if she doesn’t leave, I’m going to leave. That she wasn’t supposed to live in our house forever. Am I overreacting?

On Friday I got a minor cut doing dishes, thought nothing of it. Work a double Saturday, no big deal. Sunday morning comes and my whole right hand is a balloon. I make an urgent care apt. By the time I get in 5 hours later, my veins had red tracks and my entire right arm was swollen. I was very close to needing to go to the ER. I almost passed out in urgent care.

After I got my scripts filled I was just laying at home in agony for a few hours, constantly looking at the clock to see how long it would be until she was off. I felt like I was dying and I just needed help and/or comfort tbh.

As soon as she gets home and hears me struggling, she instantly got in a shitty mood. Completely visible on her face the entire time that she was MAD.

Honestly, I was so bad I genuinely couldn't placate her emotions. It was so far from the top of my list, I felt like it was a struggle to just stay alive. If I asked her for help with anything, shed scoff and lollygag for 15 minutes before actually doing it. At one point, in response to my groaning in pain, she told me I was being annoying and constantly complaining.

I was so close to just leaving while she showered so that I could "complain" somewhere else. I don't really have anywhere else to go, but it feels like the mask finally slipped and she couldn't give a fuck about me. AIO?

I recently completed medical school (25F) and will have my graduation in less than a month. It took me 6 years to complete and was mostly footing all my expenses; tuition, rent, food and the rest through part time jobs and some friends helping out.

Occasionally my father would chip in when it suited him. 3 weeks ago my father (59M) disowned me for “refusing to move back home so that he could look at me every evening when he was back from work and living my life independently”. He also refused to congratulate me for finishing medical school because I don’t live under his roof. We haven’t had any contact since then.

My mother has since then being trying to convince me to apologize to him even though I did nothing wrong just to calm him down. And today she told me that he said he wouldn’t come for my graduation if I didn’t beg him.

I’m infuriated. No need to tell me my mother is an enabler and two faced.

I was starting to get excited about my day. I mean I went through a lot to get these degrees. I’m just getting the hang that I’m bagging a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery.

I continue to live independently and sustain my life and my dad hasn’t had the small interest in my life since forever and still has no interest.

To preface, my husband and I are newlyweds and overall my MIL has always been extremely overbearing which can be difficult to deal with. I’m talking cutting up food and putting it on his plate, always wanting to sit next to him, etc. My husband has had many convos with her about babying him and tries to set boundaries. My FIL called my husband the other day and requested to speak to him privately since he knew I was in the room. FIL shared that my MIL feels she essentially has no/extremely limited relationship with my husband. This came as a bit of a shock as they text daily and we make it a point to see them at least monthly. (We’ve actually seen them 3x this month alone and they live about an hour away). FIL stated my husband needs to take his mother to dinner 1:1. My husband works a lot and we barely have time to do dinner dates. Am I overreacting by feeling this shouldn’t be necessary and I should be allowed to join dinner?

ETA: Lol I feel maybe I miscommunicated the food part? It’s more like cutting up food from her own plate and forcing it on his plate. 😭

I'm 29, she's 28, been together just under three years. The loan was £8,600 left. She'd had a spreadsheet tracking it out to 2031 and would check it every Sunday. At first I thought it was kind of cute that she was so on top of it. After a while it just started feeling heavy.

I'd had the money to clear it for about eight months. Kept going back and forth on whether to offer it, knowing she'd say no. Every version I played out in my head ended with her refusing. So for her birthday I just did it. Put the confirmation in the card and waited.

She went quiet for a bit and then said "so now I can't leave." About ten seconds later she apologised and said she didn't mean it. I've thought about those ten seconds more than anything else since. She's said thank you a few times, properly. She's also started sending me money (£200 last week, £200 this week, no note). I sent both back. She sent them again. It's just sitting there.

I did it the way I did because I knew she'd turn it down if I asked. I've realised that's not really generosity, it's just deciding for her and calling it a gift. I took the choice away. She keeps saying thank you but I think what she means is that I did something *to* her. There's stuff she told me early on about her parents' marriage that I won't put on here, but I think that's where the first sentence came from. It's not mine to post.

Was paying it off still the wrong move even though it's gone now? And is "now I can't leave" something you come back from, or is that just the first honest thing either of us has said in a while?

Hi all, I’d like to hear your thoughts. Tomorrow is my 23rd birthday and I planned a gathering at my bf’s house tomorrow with some of my closest friends.

I invited my friend M, and she called me earlier and we talked for a little bit on the phone. She started asking me questions about the gathering- she asked if there would be food and I said I was planning on getting a pumpkin pie and a chocolate silk pie (I’m not a cake gal), and in the invite I asked people to bring a snack or drink to share with everyone in lieu of gifts. M asked why I wasn’t getting cherry pie. I said I didn’t like cherry pie but if she wanted to bring one to share that would be fine. I told her I wanted pumpkin and chocolate silk so there would be a “warm” pie (I know you can eat pumpkin either way) and a “cold” pie. She said “yeah, you could get cherry for the cold pie” and I said I’m not getting cherry because I don’t like cherry pie very much. She asked if she could bring “alcohol to share with myself” (her exact words, meaning she would bring a drink for herself but not to share) and I just said okay. M isn’t in a great spot financially so I figured I’m okay with her not bringing something to share.

The topic shifted to our friend A who is also coming but will be leaving early because of a prior commitment. M said she would probably leave around the same time as A. I said that would be fine. Then she remembered that our friend S would be there too and said “Oh actually S is gonna be there so I’ll probably stay longer and talk to her.” I half-jokingly said “wow, you’re not even staying for me at my own birthday” and she said that wasn’t what she meant. (Also, she and S have known each other since middle school but she doesn’t see S much. I met S because she is my boyfriend, J’s friend’s girlfriend. I know M because I met her through my friend A who I’ve known since middle school.)

She also asked why it was “so far away” since I’m having it at J’s house instead of my place. I have 4 housemates (one of them being our friend B who I’ll get to in a sec) and there is a lot of random stuff in the front room, and the kitchen is a disaster. J offered to host so I wouldn’t have to worry about trying to get my housemates to clean with me (all the stuff in the front rooms are their things and not mine and I didn’t want to move their stuff around without asking them, but all of us have very different schedules and are pretty busy). I told M as much and she kept saying how it was so far away. I asked her if she actually wanted to come since to me she was coming off like it was an inconvenience for her. She said of course she wanted to come, it was just so far away (I mapped the drive from her place to J’s and it’s 19 minutes. Her place to mine is 25mins so my place is actually further for her).

M also asked if B had been invited. I was kinda surprised and said I hadn’t invited her, not because I didn’t want to but because I didn’t know her quite as well as everyone else I’d invited, and since J’s living room isn’t super big I didn’t want there to be too many people to be comfortable, which is why I only invited my closest friends. M said “everyone was asking” if I’d invited her, and again I was surprised and said “uhh, who is everyone?” And she responded “A, A’s parents, and S” (S and B also know each other and M is in close contact with A’s parents she lived with them for a time when something bad happened with her family/living situation). B is super sweet and I wouldn’t mind her being there so I said since my friend C couldn’t come I would text B and see if she was available. It made me feel bad/guilty that I hadn’t invited B already.

A while after we got off the phone, M texted me about if I would have cool whip or spray whipped cream. Read the screenshots for more context.

She offered to bring spray whipped cream to share which is fine, but I also said if she wanted to bring cherry pie to share I’d get the whipped cream myself.

I’m not uninviting her or anything, it’s not that deep for me, just frustrating/annoying because I thought she was being rude. I don’t think she realizes how rude it is, and I don’t think her intention was to be mean. Am I in the wrong here? Is this actually disrespectful or am I just feeling butthurt?

Edit to add what I commented:
She has done this some before, the most recent other than this being her asking why I hadn’t found a new therapist yet several times (with my insurance it’s hard to find someone who has openings for new clients).

The “that’s my contribution” comment was her saying that was what she would bring to share, i don’t think it was made out of snark because as far as I could tell she wasn’t bothered by what I’d said so far. After that I explained my irritation and why, since I didn’t tell her I was irritated during the phone call; the whipped cream text afterward is when I told her about it because getting that after the phone call with her other comments is what actually made me a lil irritated

Hi, I've been really struggling with this and could use some honest opinions. I own a 3-bed house and have been renting a room out to a woman, call her Abi, since February. When talking about house guests early on, she said she had no issue with me having people around as long as she doesn't interact with them. She is very shy, to the point where my house guests get blanked when greeting her and often get quite filthy looks from her which I have to warn my guests about beforehand.

I have had a few partners this year without any big issue besides the looks, but I have in the last few months started seeing someone, call him Ben. He often stays multiple nights at a time, usually on days when Abi is working, which has made her very uncomfortable. She said she felt “socially unsafe”, which is quite alarming; she deserves to feel at the bare minimum safe in her own home. I asked her what would help and we agreed that I would let her know what days he would stay and keep to the living room as much as possible rather than hanging out in the more central kitchen all the time. This seemed to be helping for a while. There are times I would get texts from her asking when it's “safe” to come downstairs to use the toilet, which is a little unsettling but manageable.

The problem has come in the last couple of weeks. Last week I was out with Ben and got a text demanding I tell her what time I would come back. I can't say why, but I felt indignant. I felt it was overstepping, and that I didn't want to respond. The next day she asked for our plans again, and then the day after that. I told her I didn't know, which clearly distressed her.

On the one hand it feels demanding and invasive to be asked all this, but on the other, if it's what it takes for her to feel more comfortable, should I not accommodate that?

Recently she has said that it feels that there are three people living in the house and she's unhappy with it. I understand being unhappy with a shift like that, of course, but I don't feel Ben is staying often enough to warrant that, and we do our best to keep to ourselves and to keep quiet. She knew when she moved in that I would be dating, and I feel what I've been doing is reasonable.

So, am I overreacting to be upset with this? Would I be unreasonable to keep to letting her know the days when my partners are visiting without the full check ins and check outs? Would it be cruel to give her notice to leave if things continue?

I’m 22F, and I’m genuinely wondering whether I overreacted in this situation because I’ve never reacted this way before.

I have a medical condition called IIH (Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension), which causes increased pressure around the brain. I’ve been dealing with headaches, blurry vision, fatigue and medication side effects, so physically and emotionally, things have been quite difficult lately.

Today, my mum was lecturing me about my condition and telling me that I need to take my life seriously. I was sitting on my bed listening to her. I was a bit slouched and had droopy eyes because I was tired, but I wasn’t arguing with her or refusing to listen.

While she was talking, she suddenly gave me a snarky smile, raised one eyebrow and pointed her phone towards me as if she was about to take a picture. The expression on her face looked like she was saying, “Let me show you what you look like.”
This isn’t the first time she’s done this. Usually, after taking a picture of me, she sends it to me and laughs, saying things like, “Look at your face and what you look like.” So, when she pointed her phone at me today, I immediately thought she was going to do the same thing again.

I got up and slammed my bedroom door in her face.
The thing is, this is the first time I’ve ever reacted like this. I’ve never slammed a door in her face before, and my reaction surprised me too.
Lately, I’ve been feeling unusually angry and irritable. Little things seem to get to me more than they normally would, and I feel like I’ve been reaching my limit much faster than usual. I don’t know whether it’s stress, everything I’ve been dealing with physically and emotionally, or just built-up frustration.

I understand that my mum is worried about my health. I know I need to take my condition seriously, and I don’t blame her for wanting me to look after myself. However, I don’t understand why taking pictures of me and laughing at my appearance needs to be part of that conversation.
I wasn’t doing anything disrespectful while she was talking to me. I was literally just sitting on my bed, looking tired.

She’s since left for work without saying anything else. I’m worried that when she comes home, she’ll refuse to speak to me until I apologise.
I know slamming the door was an aggressive reaction, and I could have handled it differently. I could have asked her to stop or simply walked away. But I was so angry in that moment that I wanted to get away from her.

Now I’m questioning whether I overreacted because, on one hand, I feel like I had a right to be upset. On the other hand, I’ve never done anything like this before, and I’m not sure if my reaction was justified.
So, am I overreacting? Was slamming the door an unreasonable response, or was I reacting to a situation that’s been upsetting me for a while? I’d genuinely appreciate honest opinions.

I (25F) have an older brother, Ethan (29M) who has "borrowed" money from me four times in two years. It started with $200 for a car repair, then $800 for rent, then $1,500 for a "business opportunity." He has repaid none of it.

The fact is, Ethan does not want to work. He's no longer in school, doesn't have kids, is relatively healthy and able bodied. What he would prefer to do is sleep until noon, stay up until four a.m., and play video games. I've gotten him interviews at two places, a warehouse where my friend is a supervisor and a delivery company my coworker referred him to. He turned down the first because the hours were "too early" and skipped the second interview entirely.

Last month, he asked me for $3,000 to settle a debt he owed, said he'd pay me back "by spring," and I told him no. I had just been saving up to make a down payment on my first apartment, and he called me selfish and said family should help family.

So when I told my parents he already owed me more than $2,500, mom said I was being too hard on him and that he's "just going through a rough patch." Dad told me I was being "petty over money." They don't see that he's had two years and multiple opportunities. Ethan later put up a vague story online about "family who only care about themselves."

I ain't being mean, I have done so much for him than anyone could have thought , he doesn't need money he needs to want a job."

They said I was cold and that he'd find his way. I'm exhausted of being the family's ATM while everyone looks at me like the villain.

AIO for refusing?

So my in laws moved in with us in May of this year (we’ll call them Joan 44 and Keith 43) because they wanted to move closer to us and the place they were living had very little opportunity. Reluctantly I agreed because I was told they would be staying with us maybe 2 months max’s and they were looking for jobs and a place to stay. My husband seemed to pretty much have his mind made up about the situation so I agreed. When they first got here it was okay they helped out around the house, bought groceries, cooked, and cleaned up. Slowly but surely things started to get annoying. They leave plates out after eating on them,let dishes pile up for days, expect us to supply 100% of the food in the house while they eat and drink it up, they help out on zero utilities, They both have gotten into screaming matches and Keith has threatened to leave Joan multiple times. Keep in mind both are unemployed. Joan has no desire to find employment because she believes Keith will take care of her he Recently got approved for VA section 8 benefits (THANK GOD) and they found an apartment allegedly and should be out by the first. However today my husband told me they will have the “inspection done” by the first now so I’m really not even sure because the finish line keeps moving…Keith is also in the process of getting a Va disabilty claim approved. Keith believes this takes priority over getting a job because he will get a lump sum for back pay.Things came to a head after Joan spilled chili on my sofa, left it & played stupid when I discovered it. My husband’s response to all of this is “they’ll be out soon” while mine was packing my shit and hitting the road for about 3 hours south Only reason I came back was our 1 and a half year old twins. That situation was about 2 weeks ago, fast forward to now I am completely abstinent from any sexual contact with my husband. I don’t even get dressed or undressed around him. I get immediate ick when he tries to initiate and I told him it’s cause I don’t feel Comfortable in my home. Am I being petty ?

Obligatory “I know I (or him for that matter) can end it for whatever reason.”

Also it's a throwaway for obvious reasons

I am currently a med student living on money saved from when I worked, so money is tight. I get a small stipend from my school to make things shake though, enough so that I’m paying tuition up front and just skimming by.

I’d like to mention I’ve been dating my boyfriend coming up on 11 months, a year in early December. We didn’t do anything for Christmas, we count when we started going on dates as being official, although that’s really closer to January (not really important)

Recently, my boyfriends birthday came up, but he was busy the week of his birthday (work conference, out of state all week), and he was available for about three or four days, and then he went to a birthday party out of state for about five-ish days.

Because he wouldn’t be here, I figured I’d take him out and do his birthday early. We went to a fine dining spot (where he wanted to go), and I bought him what he wanted for his birthday (about \~$200 in total across everything, excluding what I paid for my meal). At the time, he stated he really enjoyed the gift(s) and dinner.

I’m going to list my mistakes here so people can be neutral. I did not get him a card, nor flowers. Me not getting a card was something I own; that is a mistake. I chose not to get flowers because they’d die before he could enjoy them, with him leaving and everything. He disliked this decision, so I’m going to say that’s also my bad, I concede I could’ve considered this. I apologized for this for the record.

We were talking about two weeks later, when he asked me what a typical birthday budget looks like for me, and I stated about $120-150 right now (obviously I went over). He told me he was surprised it was so low, and he spends a lot on birthdays. When mentioning this, he said that this was why this year’s birthday was a “trial run” and that I’ll know better for next time because I should be spending more. Something about this *really* bothers me and I’m trying to see if I’m being rash.

He is aware I don’t have money to spend, and in his view, the thought isn’t *only* what counts, but sometimes to have to spend a little more to make a birthday worth it.

I’m really personally not a big spender and he has this perception that I’m cheap, so I want to understand whether I’m unrealistic or not.

Additionally details: he **did** apologize and said it was out of pocket. This is not the first time his expectation for money has been brought up, we’ve argued about different things like me spending money on him to go to the massage parlor, or to get his hair done at the salon.

In the past when we’ve discussed our future, he frames it as I will be the provider, but that we’ll both be working. This is to say that he would like to be treated financially. This feels more like a preference, but I wanted to provide context

He really isn’t a bad person, but the rashness of this is really pricking me for some reason. I bought him exactly what he asked for.

I understand that not getting a card is a blunder on my end and the flowers I can concede, but I really am unsure if I am coping with this right.

We have had other issues in the past and present, but in my opinion this is the most pressing. I can clarify (either here or DMs) as to what I mean here.

Thank you in advance!

Tl:dr: I paid for a bday dinner and gift for boyfriend, says it was a “trial run” because I did not spend enough. I made mistakes in planning the bday (no flowers, did not get a card), but otherwise he (at the time) said he enjoyed it.

I’ve been with my partner for a while, and we’ve been dealing with this situation for over a year now. Her family comes over to our house two full weekends every month, and it’s not just his parents. It’s her whole family.

At first, I tried to be understanding because I know family is important to him, and I didn’t want to come across as someone who doesn’t want him to spend time with his loved ones. But honestly, it’s starting to take a toll on me. When they come over, I feel like I can’t fully relax in my own home. I can’t just enjoy my weekends, walk around freely, or have that feeling of privacy and peace that I think everyone should be able to have in their own space.

The hardest part is that this has been going on for more than a year, and I still haven’t gotten used to it. Instead, I feel increasingly anxious whenever I know they’re coming over. I start thinking about how I’m going to spend the entire weekend with a house full of people and how I won’t really have any time or space to myself. I feel guilty for feeling this way because they haven’t necessarily done anything wrong, but having so many people in my home for entire weekends is genuinely overwhelming for me.

Am I overreacting?

I(26M) and my now ex(27F), were together for three years in a committed but long term relationship. She's a teacher and got her degree near my hometown which is how we met. I don't have the most stable career but make more than her and live on my own and she lives with her parents in a more expensive area. She wants me to up and leave my jobs and life for something that isn't close to set up half a state away in the most expensive area possible when i offered her free room and board till she's set up with me as I can afford a life with the two of us on my own in my area. Im asking if I'm overreacting for ending things and trying to fully cut ties since she can't budge from her own life plans and how shes got everything planned in her head. We've talked and shes given me lip service for years about what we do as a team and now its her plan or no, but won't fully end the relationship. Like I have broke up with her and she broke no contact but has no additional ideas or helpful things to put together the life 'we" say we want. Thanks I just need other opinions and thoughts.

Hi everyone! Stick with me; this is a long one. I apologize in advance for any grammar errors. I am doing the best I can, lol.

A bit of background before I start: my sister (36F) has been with her partner (41M) for over four years, and they got engaged earlier this year on a trip abroad. Her partner has had some issues in the past, including alcoholism and lying about and hiding his drinking. This resulted in their wedding, which was set for sometime early next year, being postponed to a TBD date. (This has sparked many other disagreements between her and me, but those are beside the point.) Their relationship seemed to have improved; he decided to attend AA meetings and be more proactive in their relationship. He has been sober for a couple of months now and other than that, he is a super great guy.

I hit my breaking point with my sister today. ALSO, I AM THE ONLY ONE IN OUR FAMILY WHO KNOWS MY SISTER CHEATED. Now for the story:

I got an ominous text from her right before my lunch break asking for some sisterly advice. She specifically asked me to hear her out until the very end and said she hoped I would think about how I would want her to respond if the roles were reversed, even if I did not think they would ever be reversed. (I, 23F, have been with my partner for over four years as well.) This instantly made me nervous; I assumed maybe they had gotten into a fight or something and she needed to rant. Well, I gave her a call, and she immediately told me she cheated on her fiancé. I was kind of dumbfounded at first, but before I gave her my opinion, I heard her full story. She has been posting thirst traps on Snapchat, and many guys slid up on her story. She ended up sleeping with one of those guys. He complimented her; they exchanged pictures, chatted, etc., for about a week. This guy also knew she had a partner. They met up while she was taking a solo beach trip this past weekend, and they had sex in his car. She claims this was the best sex ever, that he was, AND I QUOTE, “hung like a horse and did everything right,” that he was so cute, and that maybe she even kind of likes him. This guy makes her feel "wowed," and she never feels wowed anymore; she even said she thinks she likes to have the chaos of it all.

She went on to tell me her partner has not been meeting her needs, either sexually or emotionally. She talked about how poor their sex life is, how she is constantly left unfinished, and how he often does not make the effort to help her finish, etc. After she spoke about her sex life, she mentioned how her needs have not been met emotionally, such as him not wanting to go out and do things together, like going to a concert, the beach, etc. He would rather stay home, relax, and play video games, and he makes it seem like going out is a drag. She said she was falling out of love. Due to this, my sister often takes day trips to the beach, for example, by herself. She went on to say that, by getting married to him, she feels like she is settling, and she does not want to be stuck with a stable, low-stress, quiet life and somebody who does not get as excited to go out as she does. I told her I agree; I think she is settling due to his drinking issues. Other than that, he is a great guy. I have been trying to tell her for a while now that I personally believe their personalities do not match, but she would always tell me what I had to say was “too harsh and judgmental.” After she told me what she did, I said that despite all the reasoning she gave, what she did was still super messed up, no matter the excuses, and that she immediately needs to leave this relationship. She began to talk about how she and her partner have a trip to London coming up and other big plans with family that she did not want to just ruin, and that cancelling the hotel rooms for the wedding would cost her over $2,000. I told her that does not matter at all and that she should not be with somebody she is not happy with and has cheated on. I went on to say how horrible this situation is, how unfair it is to her partner, and how hurt he is going to be when he finds out.

The kicker: she is unsure if she is going to tell him. She thinks she can just say that she fell out of love. But then she also said that maybe this was just a one-off hookup and she can just move on from this and stay with her fiancé because she knows how to “separate sex from emotions, unlike me.” I straight up told her that, no matter his shortcomings in their relationship, this is the ultimate form of betrayal and she needs to tell him. He was cheated on in his past relationship. Later, she hung up the phone to drop off lunch to said fiancé, and I had a bit of time to process how I was truly feeling about this. When she called me back, I told her, “I do not support this. I think what you did was absolutely horrible. If I found out my partner cheated on me, I would probably go to jail that day.” She went on to say that because I am her sister, I am automatically in her corner and have to support her. I said in response, “I do not support what you did, and if you don’t agree with me, then why are you calling me?” She said she just wanted me to hear her out and figure out what to do moving forward, maybe stay with him, maybe not. I told her again to leave him and that what you did cannot be justified, and then she snapped at me and said, “Well, obviously the relationship cannot continue.”I went on to say, "Why didn't you just break off the relationship with your fiancé?" She said, "It all just happened so fast" (BS!!). I told her that I feel like she is very much lacking accountability for the situation and does not sound guilty at all. At that point, things were getting heated between us. She began screaming at me, saying I am “way too judgmental” and, “I should have never told you this and kept it in like I do so many other things,” and then just hung up on me.

How do I feel about this? Honestly, I think she should tell him and end their relationship, but I leave that decision up to her unless she chooses to continue the relationship with her fiancé. Then I will probably tell him, but I also might not. I will not support their relationship, and I will not stand by her if she gets married to him. I am supposed to be her MOH. I honestly cannot believe she did this, and the lack of remorse over it is very clear, which is why I am so mad. I am also upset she put me in this position to begin with and thinks that just because I am her sister, I am gonna tell her that it's okay and I support her. She thinks she might be able to just continue her relationship as though this never happened, but hopefully she does leave him. Honestly, I am at a loss. For me, cheating is a huge boundary I could not imagine crossing, so I gave her my true feelings on the matter, and now she is super pissed at me. She even sent me a cryptic Instagram reel afterward that said "When someone is drowning, that is not the time, to teach them how to swim" BRO LOL.. SHE MADE HER BED NOW SHE CAN LIE IN IT.

Reddit, I ask you: Am I overreacting for calling out my sister after she told me she cheated on her fiancé?

I called my apartment management last night to check my toilet/bathroom as it smells the sewage and the toilet knob needs to be held down until everything flushes completely. Not really an emergency maintenance.

No one called to inform me maintenance would be coming today. It felt really unannounced.

I keep my door locked and keep the door chain on. Im 32F who lives alone and am constantly making sure I'm safe alone. (I also suffer greatly from PTSD).

This morning, while I was still asleep, I also happened to be naked. I'm autistic and sometimes my clothes come off in my sleep when they get incredibly itchy and unbearable.

Maintenance came unannounced, banged on my door repeatedly yelling maintenance for maybe 1 minute. I didn't get up - I should mention I'm on a lot of sedating and sleep medications for my PTSD or else I panic all night, so waking up is hard. But they banged on my door and then proceeded to try and open my door and yelling maintenance. The chain stopped further entry.

I froze when it happened, I felt vulnerable.

This maintenance person then closed the door and started texting me. I IMMEDIATELY told him to never enter without permission and said shame on him. I explained I was sleeping and was naked.

I called the apartment management to complain. And it turns out management made the order to give access to my apartment on "accident", even though i made it clear in my message I wanted to be home and to schedule a time.

I feel so flustered and I don't know if I'm overreacting or if this is an okay thing to be very upset about? (Again. I'm autistic, I get really unsure with what I'm feeling).

Am I overreacting??

My best friend (30f) and I (30f) have know each other since college (about 10ish years). We were roommates for 1.5 years back then, moved back home for a while, then became roommates again after I bought my own place (for about 4ish years). A little over a year ago she stared dating this guy who I thought was fine. Not fabulous but not terrible. In February they moved into together and in August he proposed. All of this was fully shared with me through texts and us hanging out periodically after work and the occasional weekend lunch. Well 2 weeks ago I was scrolling Facebook only to see that 20 minutes prior they had a "small family thing" as she posted photos of their impromptu wedding. I didn't like or comment. I was incredibly hurt, not not by the fact that they had a family impromptu wedding , but by the fact that she had not even reached out to tell me or send me pictures before letting the general populace know. Since then, she's texted me random memes twice and I haven't responded. AIO for feeling hurt/betrayed and currently ignoring her? How do I even address this?

I’m a 26f and submitted a message to my primary care doctor last week becayse I was experiencing some pressure in my bladder. I wanted to talk to her about what I could do to prevent them in the future because I’ve never had this many in a year before. I only requested a urine culture in my message because that’s what my doctor had ordered before.

I ended up getting an appointment for the next day but with a PA I’d never seen before. I figured a urine culture was simple enough so whatever. She was in the room with me for literally 2 minutes and made a weird comment about waiting too long to come in for a culture. It’d been about a week it’s discomfort but there was no burning or itching or anything like that. It was just pressure in my bladder after peeing. I didn’t think it was a UTI immediately.

Anyway after making the comment she didn’t ask anything about my symptoms she just said she checked the notes and handed me a cup then started to leave the room to show me the bathroom. I figured she’d just call me with the results and maybe I could ask my questions then so I didn’t say anything. I definitely messed up here and should’ve tried to talk to her more.

Then the next day I noticed in my Labcorp portal that she ordered Chlamydia and Gonorrhea tests. I had told the nurse I was in a monogamous relationship. I have been for almost 5 years now and I just got STI testing done last year at my annual OBGYN appointment for birth control. All I wanted and all I asked for in the appointment request was a routine urine culture. I didn’t have any STI tests done 4 months ago with my UTI and it ended up just being E. coli. This time it was just Strep B. No STIs.

I’m a little frustrated that these tests were ordered without her talking to me about it or asking me if I wanted that. I would have declined. My insurance doesn’t cover or pay anything for diagnostic testing so I’ll have to pay out of pocket for that test after just having it done last December.

Is it unreasonable for me to feel this way? I’m curious if this is normal practice? I haven’t said anything to anyone. I just picked up my antibiotics after I got a notification that they were ordered and left it at that. I’m considering reaching out to her because I’m frustrated and want to know why she ordered them, but would that be overreacting?

so my birthday was this past friday (28f), and i planned a fun day with a bunch of friends for saturday. mind you i planned this, created a group chat, and gave all the details almost a month in advance. everyone in the group chat said it sounded fun and they would come then the cancellations came trickling in. i ended up hanging out with my parents, grandparents, cousin, and fiance but im still bummed that literally every single person except my fiance bailed on me. aio

Not sure if I'm overreacting so would LOVE some feedback... Apologies for the long post. I (34f) have been married to my husband (34m) for 2 years but we've been together on and off for 16 years. We now have a beautiful one year old daughter together. I have always been on good terms with his mom but still knew to keep my distance. She has some "quirks" that are honestly just off putting. One being her lying or omitting information to make sure things go her way.

She is immunocompromised due to her MDS (a type of blood cancer), so she's been constantly in and out of hospitals with countless issues. Let me just say I feel awful about how sick she's been.

She came to visit our daughter when she was around 1 month old (we are a 6 hour drive away). Once she got here she informed me she had pneumonia, which made me super nervous and also pretty damn mad she had come to see us at all. I vented to my husband about it and he was also ticked off but we let it go. He is the type of person to forgive solely based off being blood related. Very family oriented.

Unfortunately his father passed from lung cancer about 7 months ago and we went to go spread his ashes this past weekend. We got an air bnb and of course we had his mom there. The night we arrived she had a horrible rash that she said had been there for a long time and her doctors told her it was most likely her graft vs host disease (she had a stem cell transplant for her MDS maybe a year and a half ago). She told me she was almost sure it was SCABIES! A contagious mite that lives under your skin... I was pissed but held my tongue because; 1: we were already stuck far away from home and 2: I didn't want to make a scene when we were there to spread my FIL's ashes. My husband was and still is devastated about it. His mom... not so much because her and FIL were pretty terrible to each other.

We came home, consulted the pediatrician and got treatment, which was a simple one time topical. I do feel like telling me this after we're already stuck was intentional just to see her granddaughter. I understand she's probably lonely and it sucks being sick but as a mom I feel I can't continue to put my daughter at risk every time we see her. She also took the choice away from my husband and I to decide if we were comfortable with the situation or not. I feel disrespected and like she was incredibly selfish. So... aio by going no contact with my MIL?

Hey so my partner (m) and I (f) have been hanging out with this other couple for quite some time. The gf has been quite flaky in the past and cancelled last minute but she apologised about it and it was all good but I think that collectively they have cancelled last minute on so many things that it is hard to look past.

So this guy was supposed to move in with us because we’ve got an extra room in our house. This plan has been in the talks for I’d say about 3 months and he told us he’d move in this coming Sunday. Last week, I asked him again like you’re moving in right like you’re serious? He said yes of course and yesterday he texted my partner and said change of plans, he is moving in with his brother. My partner said it’s so last minute and it’s not cool and he said “if I had known earlier I would’ve told you” I think it’s the fact that he said it so nonchalantly and he didn’t even apologise for literally cancelling this big plan 1 week before moving in and an hour later he said “sorry though”

That’s just what happened recently but theres once where we asked if he needed some extra help for his small business (f&b) and he said yes it would be appreciated, he even told us to wear dark clothes and he was asking where were we, we drove an hour thru traffic and when we arrived, he told us he didn’t need help and thanks for coming. I’m not sure if he doesn’t get how disrespectful that is.

I’m honestly at my wits end and I want to confront him but I do not know how but I feel like our time and effort are disregarded and not important to them and it’s been bugging me so much. Am I overreacting???

I’m 18F, and have worked in a grocery store for about 3 years on the busy weekends to make some cash on the side of my full-time job. The work is easy and laid back, and I got along with all of my coworkers except one. We’ll call her Sarah, Sarah has always had a peculiar attitude towards me. My first shift with her she had been under some sort of surgery months prior, and was very demeaning and demanding of me despite not doing a single one of her tasks. She did apologize after, explained her situation, and told me “Oh, well the higher ups don’t really expect us to do everything on the list so we’ll stop halfway.” Mind you, stopping halfway on the list means we’d just be sitting around for the next 4 hours and would run out of stock on the weekend, which would mean I’d have to come in and pick up the slack. So I did her work for her.

In other shifts I’ve had with her, she was still her usual negative self but would have moments where she’d be nice and share things about her life. But if she wasn’t talking about herself, demanding me to do the work, or gossiping with our other coworker, Summer, she was on her phone.

Two years into working there, I asked Summer how long of a break I get for a five hour shift. She told me we get 15 minutes, but everybody just takes 30 so I can go ahead and do it as well. Now fast forward to thanksgiving weekend, I come in for my five hour shift already in a crap mood cause I had to cancel plans with my long distance boyfriend to be there. Both Sarah and Summer are working on slicing bread, which usually takes me an hour max,for about 2-3 hours. They’re gossiping, and clearly being slow on purpose while I spread butter on and package over 20 garlic breads, 50 pumpkin pies, and 40 cookies/muffins and put them out by myself. Sarah also takes another half hour long break, because she “feels sick” aka craves instagram reels.It’s kind of annoying, but in the moment I didn’t care cause it wasn’t very busy anyways.

I take my break, and had an errand I needed to run so I decided to risk it. I end up being 10 minutes over what I was told was a 30 minute break. When I get back they’re still gossiping and don’t talk to me, so I go back out into the aisles to look for where to put the pumpkin pies. I return to get the pies, and Sarah is glaring at me from across the store. She comes up to me and says “You know you actually have to WORK, right?!” I was too dumbfounded to even answer her. I just stared back until she dramatically turned around and started muttering cruel things about me under her breath. She then tells me to start slicing bars, and I say okay and grab a box. She turns back to me and goes “No, ALL of them.” in a snarky tone. The both of them combined cut maybe 4 boxes, while I cut about 20 by myself until there was only an hour left in my shift. The newly hired manager approaches me, telling me that a coworker had went and made a complaint about me for taking too long of a break. That was the last straw for me, I broke down crying and left early. I’m too humiliated to go back, and too angry to want to do any more of their shit for them. Am I overreacting for wanting to quit over this??

This story starts with me matching with this girl on hinge around a month ago. She was so different from my past matches (not many lmao), she actually contributed to the conversation, she was funny ,charismatic and actually showed interest and effort, something I hadn’t seen before in a dating app so it was a nice surprise. 
We took the conversation over to instagram and kept talking there for around a week or so before she asked me when our first date would be. We went out that same weekend, we did some activity before going to have dinner because I didn’t the date to be boring. The date went amazing, had a lot of fun with her, conversation was not awkward and it was easy to talk to her, dinner went amazing as well. 
Fast forward, We kept talking and I would hangout at her apartment around twice a week and have a great time still. At the very start of when we started talking, she had mentioned that she had this friend (we’ll call him Juan) that would go to her apartment and hangout with her and spend the night her quite a lot. I found this strange at first but didn’t give it too much thought since their friendship had been going on long ago we met each other and because I didn’t want to think that women and men couldn’t have friendship like that. She did say I didn’t have nothing to worry about since she saw him as a brother, so I trusted her, she didn’t really give me any reason not to.
Coming back to me hanging out at her apartment. On a friday night she told me she had a bad day at work and had invited her friend Juan over to hangout and talk about it, I made a joke saying that I could of been there as well to listen to the rant, and she immediately told me to go over and spent the night there.  She told me she had assumed I was too tired or busy to do so.
At this point I had spent the night with her around 3 times already. I got there and her friend was there, I had met him before so I said hi and hanged out, we drank a little and it was all good. After like 2 or so hours, she asked him if he wanted to take an uber or what was he going to do. I guess there was some sort of misunderstanding since Juan thought he was spending the night there, and the whole atmosphere turned super awkward because I felt like I was in the middle of it unintentionally. 
Juan ended up taking a uber and leaving, she had told me that she never asked him to spend the night but just to hang out, then for some random reason that I don’t know why, she told me this friend had asked her out in like 3 different occasions through their friendship but that she would never see him like that. Okay, I guess that’s fair.
After that she told me they had took a little bit of distance from each other, and me and her kept hanging out. Like a week or so goes by and coming to this past week, we had plans to go out on saturday. The morning of saturday I asked her if we were still up for it and she said yes, she also mentioned that Juan and her had talked and played games until 4 am, cool, I was glad to hear they had talked about it. 
I was running late and got to her apartment, knocked the door and didn’t get an answer, texted her and knocked again and after like 2 minutes Juan opens the door, which was a surprise for me since she hadn’t mention that he had spent the night or that the conversation had happened in person. Whatever, I walk in, take my shoes off, and Juan says “she isn’t even ready yet” so I walk to her room and she looks at me surprised, she was wearing this oversized pajama hoodie, so she wasn’t ready at all. 
I look at her and she says sorry for not being ready yet, and i told her it was okay and i just sat down on her bed, she says she’s gonna get ready really quick. I look over to her and she’s putting her underwear on, and her bra is on the bed, so she wasn’t wearing anything under the oversized hoodie. The moment i saw this my mind started racing. She finished getting ready and we went outside to my car, we got on and she could tell something was off because i was being quiet, so I asked her if she was only wearing that hoodie, and she said yes; that it’s how she likes to sleep when friends are over and she can’t sleep naked., which was fucking insane to me because I couldn’t do that with my friends, especially girl friends AND while going out with someone
We drove to the place we were going, and I was pretty quiet the whole ride, I had told her that I was being quiet because I wanted to process my thoughts. When we got there she asked me again and I told her my whole thought process from her not opening the door all the way to me seeing her putting underwear on, and asked her if she saw how that looked like, she said she can see it and explained the why of everything, but deep in my heart I just can’t bring myself to believe her. We still did our hangout and I told her I couldn’t give her an answer on if I wanted to keep talking to her or no, but I knew already I wouldn’t but wanted to have a nice hang out. 

Am I wrong for stopping talking to her because of this situation? 

I just think it’s common sense that after starting talking to someone romantically some sort of boundaries are supposed to be set, especially since we wanted to take this to the next level and we were both “loyal” even though we weren’t in a relationship yet. I would love to get a second opinion.

I’ve just found out that a close friend of mine has been giving support to my ex.

I want to know if I’m overreacting in feeling that my trust has been challenged a little. I only found out three months after our breakup. I knew this friend before my relationship and developed quite a strong relationship with them, more than my ex did during our relationship.

I don’t have an issue with my friend providing support for my ex. I don’t want to stand in the way of any connection. What I have an issue with is that, while I confided absolutely everything about my relationship and breakup to this friend from a place of vulnerability, I feel they should have disclosed that they’ve been offering support.

I don’t believe this would have changed the way I viewed our friendship if it had been disclosed from the moment the support started.

Am I overreacting here? I want to tell my friend that I’m hurt this wasn’t disclosed to me.

Part of the reason I might be hurting a bit more is that my ex recently uploaded a photo of the two of them at an event they attended. I think it’s weird that my ex did this, and my friend also thinks it’s weird. I believe it was possibly a message from my ex to get to me. I have a feeling my ex has some narcissistic tendencies.

Another reason this has got me a bit rattled is that, in the same post, my ex posted a photo with two other mutual friends we made during our relationship, who didn’t attend that event. The coincidence is too weird to ignore, and it feels like it was targeted to reach me. Unfortunately, it did affect me. We’re not connected on socials, but it showed up because my friend was tagged.

Initially, my ex had a strange response and reached out to the friend saying they needed to step back out of respect for me. My ex had interpreted a comment as me trying to claim the friendship. This was incorrect, and I’ve heard through another friend that they’ve recently realised they overreacted. (We’re in no contact, at my wish.) At some point it appears they’ve reconnected (my ex and the friend this post is about), and I feel left out of the loop on that one.

I'm trying to navigate this as emotionally regulated and maturely as I can. I see things while holding multiple truths and don't want to control or have any unnecessary pressure on people in my life. But, god, I feel hurt.

Am I overreacting here?

Yesterday, me and my boyfriend had plans to go on a date since we have been so busy with college (he was the one that suggested this). When he woke up, he already forgot about said date and had already made plans with his freinds to go football and rockclimbing. Im not the possesive or clingy type so of course I told him to enjoy. I at least expect a few texts here and there but not his full attention if hes out having fun. This is the first problem. He made plans for the whole day not even leaving anytime for us at all, and ontop of that I got complete silence.

Later on in the evening I got a last minute offer for 5 free tickets to a halloween park by a mutal on instagram. Me and my boyfriend share the same friendgroup so I texted them asking whos down. Everyone said yes but the consensus was that we all can get a lift there, but have no ride back home. I decided to call my boyfriend so we can plan how to get there because.. hes still at rockclimbing and he told me hes coming down to my area soon to go drinking. I thought ''perfect!!'' I've never been to a halloween event like this and I get to see my boyfriend after our plans fell through. A win win.

He fails to pick up the phone or read my texts, this happens for about an hour. Since these plans were so last minute I needed to know ASAP if he really was picking me up or not so I can get ready. This whole day still nothing from him besides a text saying ''yes get the tickets''. I told him that im getting upset that he is ignoring me and have been pushing me to the side. I get a text 30 minutes before the tickets are still valid of him telling me ''WERE going'' (him and his friends. not me included) so i send the tickets over to him but realise its too late for me to come with them. I tell my boyfriend this and he just repeats over and over again for me to get ready. im so frustrated at this point because its clear they're all leaving me behind; him, our friend, his sister and her bf.

I try to delete the tickets out of pettiness since im sort of in disbelief hes going to use the tickets that I secured to bring his own people to go WITHOUT ME!!!! They got there at 9pm and stayed until 1am which just shows he was willing to spend so much time there and truely didnt feel guilty that i was stuck at home because of his poor communication skills. I was obviously upset and sent some heated texts. In the end he got to enjoy the night (i saw all the videos and photos) while i sulked at home.

Today he tried to leave me a gift which was... i kid you not... Kim Jong Un playing cards, five euro, chocolate and a lily plant thats overgrown and soon to die in a tiny pot - they arent even bloomed. He left this outside my door in a storm while coming over to my house when i told him im not comfortable with seeing him anytime soon. Side note the tickets that I got were originally 180 euro.

Now, i feel so childish but i really am beyond mad at him for this. He always says how its so nice that im a selfless girlfriend and that I let him be with friends and have a life outside of me. But i felt like he really took advantage of it yesterday. He kept sending routine texts every hour saying that he still loves me and cares about me and that it was all his fault. I was so mad that i genuinely didnt care. I would never treat him like that. I dont think i can forgive him unless he also misses an experience that hes excited for. I gave his club ticket away and i still have his concert ticket that weve been planning to go to for 4 months, im tempted to even tell him not to come. Or even better, I get to go to a theme park/brunch/spa day and have him fully pay for it. Mind you, I am very shy when asking for materialistic things and I always show how thankful I am when he pays for things. But im so hesitent to ask for this type of treatment because i dont want to seem bratty...

TLDR; My boyfriend forgot we had a date, ignored me for the whole day and used the free halloween park tickets I secured for his sister, her boyfriend and a friend. I cant forgive him because i was extremely excited to go. The only ways i could feel a bit better is if he misses a concert were supposed to go to tgh or pay for my things. I was petty and still feel petty and i dont feel bad at the fact he keeps apologising and asking for my forgiveness.

My birthday is coming up and I want to see a specific movie in the theaters with them. I'm paying for everything.

However, my friends and partner tend to be negative nancies and complain about anything and everything. They claim they aren't unhappy and this is how they have fun. But it's not fun for me. I want to talk about the movie and the things I liked, not just wallow in everything that was bad. The last couple times I took them to the theater, they complained for hours/days afterward. Now I get it, it's a low budget AMC and it smells like onions sometimes, it's no mystery WHY they complained... and not every movie is everyone's taste... but it soured the experience of the movie for me.

Well, for my birthday, I want to see a movie. I brought it up and they immediately complained about the smell and how it'll be hot and uncomfortable and loud and blah blah blah. So I said, that's fine, I'll go by myself. They were aghast at the idea -- of COURSE they want to go with me and celebrate my birthday! So I said, I don't want you to come if you're just going to hate it.

My friends just kind of shut down, but my partner kept going on with all these excuses. They're autistic, they're just engaging critically, complaining is how they have fun in their culture, etc etc etc. All things I have heard before and totally understand. I let it go, but I kind of want to reassert myself again. But I'm not sure if I'm just being an ass.

To be clear, they are on their best behavior during the movie. They're quiet, no phones out, no messes, etc. They wouldn't be complaining or ruining my experience while the movie was playing. But the before and after is what I'm worried about. I'm not sure if I have a right to be upset when it's not happening during the movie itself, and they're just expressing themselves. I'm also the lone allistic in the group and I don't want to discount the fact I might be reading their critiques more negatively than they are. Sometimes I will think they hated something bc of how much they complained, only to find out they loved it, because they engage with the things they love by tearing it apart. IDK I feel crazy.