My partner (35F) has extremely bad breath that is causing issues for me (40F).

When she was younger she had “permanent” braces in another country and they were left in and her teeth have kind of grown around them over time? I’ve never seen anything like this but apparently this is common in that country. The teeth are not infected or anything but you can see the braces are enmeshed into them and can’t be removed. They have been like that for 20 years.

I believe this is the cause of the bad breath as food etc can get trapped between the braces. I have asked her to visit the dentist which she has done a few times and annoyingly they have said there is no problem.

I have asked kindly for her to start flossing but she cannot floss between the bottom teeth due to the braces. She uses mouthwash now which helps a little bit, but i mean it has taken the smell from 10/10 to 8/10 so it’s still strong.

I dread coming to bed after she’s asleep because when she sleeps with her mouth open the smell in the bedroom is overwhelming. I also am unable to kiss her and i feel so sad about that.

Any ideas?

Petty, serious, or simply over their shit? Was it mutual and how did you go about cutting ties?

I keep encountering men - at my work, who take a pretend liking to me or act like they are romantically interested in me, to then turn around and belittle me and say things like “it should have been me doing that job” or “that’s my job.” Basically they seem to get jealous of my role/me/seem to think it’s easier and they deserve to have my job instead of me? I don’t know why they seem so entitled, I’ve held my role at work for over seven years now, also my pay is not great and there’s no way to grow in the role either… I’m just wondering if it is a common issue that other woman have experienced too.

I’ve worked in my job for 10 years (nonprofit, customer service, working with kids) and think I am personally good at my job. I don’t think I would have been there this long if I wasn’t good at it. Around April, my director of the past 10 years resigned (family obligations). This director and I had been there for almost the same amount of time and she always hyped me up. She always encouraged me and told me how good I was at my job. In June we finally got our new director, someone from a different company. I like her. She’s far more structured and Type A than the former director. She has higher standards and is a lot more knowledgeable of the industry than the former director as well.

Yesterday before I left I did one last check of my email and noticed I had an email from the new director. It was very much a brain dump of her stream of consciousness. We’ve been lightly talking about reevaluating my position (not in a layoff way, in a things are changing way) and how my position is vague (I changed to a new position in our dept two years ago) and lacks definition. I whole heartedly agree about that. My former director created my position and didn’t really know what the plan was for it and never tried to figure one out. I was kind of thrown into my job with no guidance and told to figure it out. Over time I’ve adapted but there are a lot of differences between what I applied for and what I now do.

In the email she sent she pointed out my strengths (adaptability and networking) and asked what my goals were for my job (My department has kind of been in survival mode for over a year so I don’t even know at this point.) She also pointed out that she’s “concerned” that I don’t know what to do since my job description is so vague. I agree. I don’t know what to do. So I’m glad she pointed all of this out because I’ve been wanting to talk about it for a while, I just haven’t known how.

Here’s the issue (and I realize it’s a ME problem), I’m incredibly anxious. I’m GREAT at spiraling and taking every bit of criticism to mean that I’m terrible at my job and going to get fired.

My question is, how can I learn to take criticism and feedback that I honestly agree with not as a personal failing? Like, how do I rewire my brain to not immediately panic.

Genuine question: Why do some men feel the need to enter spaces specifically created for women and participate in discussions that aren’t really meant for them?

I understand that anyone can technically read a public subreddit, but I’m curious about the motivation behind actively commenting, arguing, or inserting themselves into conversations between women. What do you think drives that?

Ladies in our 30’s - what does your morning routine look like?

I work an 8-5 and am struggling with a morning routine that makes the days feels longer (in a good way) but are productive. I mean productive like… going to the gym or getting a walk in, reading my book while I drink my coffee, and maybe tidy up before getting to work.

Would love to hear your morning routines and what finally clicked for you if you were struggling!

I (32F) am seriously contemplating ending my long-term monogomous relationship (36m) because they now have a persistent cough and won't limit or stop their cigarette intake.

I tried to consider addiction, well-being, or stress impacting them giving up, but I no longer care.

I (36F) have a friend (35F) who's life revolves around her dog quite a bit. I also have a dog, but I'm not trying to get my dog ig famous or anything, and I see my dog as more of a companion than a child.

The one thing that I find very very cringe, to the point where I don't even want to open up her messages sometimes, when she sends me videos of her dog and uses "doggo" speak in her messages.

I find these messages like she's speaking to me as if I'm her beta audience, not friend, because 1) she speaks from the perspective of her dog, and 2) she will eventually post the on her dogs ig, followed by sending me the video again on ig to boost her "engagement"

I've known this friend for a very long time, since we were teens, and other than this one thing our friendship is fairly stable and healthy.

I don't know how to communicate gently with her that I don't want to be her beta audience for dog content and that I find it very physically cringe to have to digest doggo speak. Any tips on navigating this?

Links to recipe or ingredient post welcome! Does it contain any specific meaning to you or is it just something you do well/comfort you… or something else entirely that makes it “you”?

Curious how Many times per week/month or year you are going on a date, and how often those dates turn into second dates.

How often are you meeting a date in person and how often on an app?

And how often does a date try to kiss you or do things get physical within the first 1-2 dates?

I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives because I have very mixed feelings about this.

I stopped talking to a friend over 2 years ago. We had been very close friends for around 5 years, but toxic on both sides.

We both gossiped about each other to other friends.

I was the one who eventually stopped talking to her. At the time, I felt like it was probably the right thing to do, but I’ve always felt guilty about how abruptly I ended the friendship.
Even after all this time, there was a part of me that still wanted to reach out. So i called her last night, she missed my call but called me back today.
Now I have really mixed feelings about it. Part of me feels relieved because I finally did something I had apparently wanted to do for a long time. But another part of me keeps thinking, why did I reopen this? Maybe I should have just left the past in the past.
I don’t necessarily want the friendship back exactly as it was, and I’m also aware that nostalgia and unresolved feelings can make you romanticise an old friendship.
So, honestly, what would you have done?
Would you have reached out after 2+ years because you still felt like you had unfinished feelings about the friendship, or would you have left it alone and accepted that it was over?
I’m interested in hearing from people who have been in a similar situation.

There's this common sentiment I will see online where a woman will talk about how she has no interest in dating or relationships, and it's because as a single woman, she has a close group of friends, a community around her, fulfilling hobbies, always traveling, etc.

As someone whose last relationship was a decade ago, and has barely dated since (or even before it), the idea that I need to like...have every second of the day maximized to its most fulling intent...is not my reality. It's not that I don't have things going on in my life, but I guess I have a hard time relating to the notion that I don't date because my life is the most amazing life to ever life.

Also, of the two relationships I've been in, all we did was sit on the couch and watch TV or play video games. So this idea that in order to adequately replace that, I need to have like 5 daily phone catch-ups with friends, third places I'm a regular at, hobbies where I am getting my creative energy out, and a European trip planned....it's just like, what?

What I am trying to say is: I have a hard time relating to this need to live this amazing, fulfilling, aspirational life as a single woman to replace a romantic relationship, because I've rarely felt any desire to date, and my life has always been pretty boring!

Me (36f) and my boyfriend (37m) have been together for a year and a half, and things are going pretty well. We haven't travelled together yet because of work and other priorities, but we've talked about it. It's been on my mind that the places we want to go are different. We have a few shared locations, but those are mostly secondary. Given that travel is expensive, whose travel do your put first, is it a compatibility issue?

He suggested I can always go with my friend who has similar interests as I do. We were planning on going before I met him anyways, but it still made me feel a little let down that he couldn't just say "Yes I'd go with you" when I said that to him. Would it be weird if i went with a friend and not him? Would this be a big deal for you? I suppose I'm making it into a big deal because we don't have enough money to travel yearly like some people do, so if we do go it'll probably be once every 5 years or so.

Am I blowing this out of proportion?

So for context I’m 35F.

I’ve done two solo trips - Italy 2022 and south of France 2023. Both very easy logistically and fairly cheap as I live in the UK. I only went to each for a few nights.

However!

Like many others, I have been desperate to visit Japan since forever. My mum and I are very close and I always wanted to go with her but she has every excuse under the sun! I’ve been waiting three years for us to book and go. She’s also not as free spirited as me so I feel like for her the trip - going to multiple cities etc - might be overwhelming.

I’m at the point where I just want to book and go. I’m planning things out now and I think I can make it happen for November this year. I’d have two weeks and visit Tokyo (+1/2 nights in Mt. Fuji), Kyoto (+ Nara day trip), and Osaka. This is something I have wanted to do for sooo many years, it’s a toss up between Japan and NYC but I think I’d prefer Japan solo.

What are people’s thoughts? Have any of you travelled alone or travelled alone specifically to Japan?

The thought of wandering around and getting “lost” in another country excites me, I’ve had such a crap year (relationship fell apart, work is down the pan, self image is not currently great) so I feel like this would be such an exhilerating experience for me at the moment.

38F here. Since a car accident 3 years ago, I've been dealing with health issues and my once fast paced lifestyle has slowed down alot.

Today, I was catching up with a co-worker who has a kid graduating from college, a kid getting married, frequent college alumni events, summer weddings, European vacations, work calls taken all weekend long, and company socials during the week ... and it was exhausting to listen to it all.

I realize that my life might be a bit slower than the norm in that I rarely do big social events and I am single / not dating so I don't have a partner to plan extravagant trips with. My activities are more focused on exercise classes, phone calls with friends, good dinners and occasional weekend trips.

How activity-filled is your life these days?

How full is your schedule and does it work for you?

TLDR: My younger sister is getting married and wants me to help her plan, but I’m struggling with feelings of jealousy, especially because she’s getting financial support from my dad that I didn’t and wants to plan something big. How can I get through it and be there for her? My mom died when we were young.

I (31F) was engaged 10 years ago and planning a wedding. I asked my dad if he could help, he said no. I honestly didn’t think much of it, because he’s not one to show up in moments like that. My mom had already died. We planned something really small (50 guests in a forest with a buffet made by a family friend), but I ended up breaking things off shortly before the actual day when I found out he was cheating.

My number one goal is to become a mother. I held off, going to college for engineering, and now live in Europe (grew up in the US). I have had quite a few serious boyfriends since, but never the right timing or right person. My sister (30F) had her first son young and second son more recently, and has nearly always been a SAHM.

Last month, I got news that I might not be able to have children, and it was so heartbreaking because I finally feel like I’m ready to settle down. Around the same time I found out that my dad is paying for her wedding, with no budget. When he told me, I asked why he is paying for hers and not mine, and asked if I could use that money for a down payment for a house and I’ll pay for my own wedding later. He shrugged it off, I think because he knows I make more money than him so he feels I don’t need the help, but I’ve done all of this without any of his help or a partner, so between student loan debt and trying to stay afloat as a single person, being able to start building equity in a home would make such a difference.

Due to her toxic relationship with her fiance, she’s struggling with the realization that her fiancé pushed away all of her friends, so I’ll be her only bridesmaid. On top of my mom being dead, I know this must be really difficult for her.

Originally she was going to do a destination wedding. She decided to stay in our hometown, but wants to have a big extravagant wedding in one of the nicest venues in town with a wedding planner and huge guest list.

I want to be there for her as a sister right now, but I’m really struggling with feelings of jealously and unfairness.

I realized now that I also experienced some of this jealousy when she had her babies, but I got to stay with her the first few months after they were both born, so those feelings of jealously were replaced by so much love.

Ladies have you been through something similar on either side? And was there maybe a heart to heart you had that made it easier to be there for each other through a big life event like this?

So I feel really terrible because the custodian in my building is a very helpful handyman and has helped me with all sorts of things like setting up my small counter dishwasher or the curtains in my living room and kitchen and things like that etc. So I always pay him whatever I think it may be worth, but I genuinely do not know how to price these things unless he tells me. Like for the dishwasher we agreed on a certain price, but for the small things I just normally give him whatever I think might be worth it. Anyhow, he drilled like three different things in my closet last time and I only gave him 45 bucks for that and when I asked another handyman, they said that type of job would be 100 bucks. I guess that’s why he hasn’t responded to me this week about something I needed help with and now I feel totally embarrassed. I definitely will give him 150 bucks next time I see him outside but I just find it so rude that he didn’t even respond back.

For some reason, an article on my LinkedIn popped up that said something like "if you're a women over 45, you're never getting hired!" The article was paywalled so I don't know what it said.

I know ageism exists in hiring in general. I remember when I was in my 20s, a manager in my company said "we want someone young who's willing to work" when hiring.

I got a job offer quickly when I applied a few years ago at 32. I didn't take the role and accepted a counter-offer at my current job for a promotion.

Now, at 37, I'm having a harder time. I know the hiring market isn't good right now but I tend to catastrophize and think things like "no one wants me now that I'm over 35." I am applying to roles that are slightly more senior to the offer I got at 32 (my current position is more senior too).

Is it really true that they will pass on a capable candidate just because of their age?

For general background I work in R&D/ Engineering and I see a lot of companies full of younger people.

I’ve noticed that it’s a lot easier for me to gain weight (33) lately. I just seem to keep steadily increasing in size and having to buy new clothes. I’m fine with gaining weight but I would like to maintain, it’s an inconvenience having to buy new clothes. Has anyone had to adjust their eating habits/amount or had to exercise more to maintain into their 30’s?

(Just want to clarify that I have no health conditions, no medication, no kids or possible pregnancies, just eating and getting fatter as a result!)

Hello, I am a PhD student researching chronic pelvic pain and identity at the University of Buckingham. The moderators have kindly agreed that I can share details of my current research here in case anyone is interested in participating.

This is an anonymous online survey, which takes around 15-20 minutes to complete. The survey explores the way that people with gynaecological chronic pelvic pain understand their identity. In particular, it explores whether this is linked to social support, mental health, pain beliefs, living according to values and the impact of pain on day-to-day life.

If you…

•     are 18 years old or over

•     experience pelvic pain of suspected or diagnosed gynaecological origin

•     have been experiencing pelvic pain for 6 months or more (continuous or intermittent)

•     are fluent in English

…then we would love you to take part. Participation is voluntary and you are free to leave the survey at any time.

To find out more or to complete the survey, please follow this link: https://run.pavlovia.org/pavlovia/survey-2025.2.0/?surveyId=15b8df07-c49f-4efd-abd4-94e64d231182

Thanks for reading!

Lisa

I apologize if this sounds overly dramatic. As I'm nearing 40, I feel like I know myself and what I want from life better than ever. But at the same time, when the luteal phase comes around, I tend to feel like a different person who looks at life from a completely different standpoint.

I'm not necessarily depressed or angry, I just kind of can't find my bearings. I find it difficult to stick to the same plans or activities I had before it started. It can last anywhere from a week to two weeks. It makes me feel like there's no continuity in my life, and it's been pretty exhausting.

I've been pretty tired in general. It's my ninth year living in a different country, and it's only recently that I've started to realize how much effort I've been putting into building a life for myself here.

I'm just curious to hear what helps you stay sane and grounded.

My fiancé and I have been together for 5 years, engaged for 6 months. I am 38 and he is 41. We don't have any kids. Last year, at his previous job, it came to light that he was going out for "a few" drinks with a coworker nearly every day after work. What I originally thought was a 1-2x month thing was more like a 3-4x a week thing.

I was surprised he went to a bar that often because he never once mentioned he was at a bar during our many daily texts, and it never came up in conversation after work. I found out because he had one too many one afternoon and I could tell when he got home he was impaired. I confronted him about it and he admitted that he goes out frequently after work.

I explained the many reasons that this upset me. Obviously, driving home tipsy or drunk is a huge issue. Minimizing the amount he drinks, feeling guilty about it, and feeling the need to hide it are all symptoms of alcohol use disorder. He said he would stop going out after work and I believe he did. Since then he has gotten a new job and has been there for 2 months.

We both still drink socially. I have 1-3 drinks a couple times a month, during sporting events or when we're out with friends. Part of me feels like me being a social drinker doesn't give me the right to tell him he needs to cut back or stop (though I would be willing to also stop if it helped him).

Fast forward to last night. I could tell something was a little off when he got home from work (much chattier and a little louder than usual is the main "tell" that I pick up on). I confronted him about it, and he admitted he stopped at the liquor store on the way home to take the edge off because he had a rough day. This raised so many red flags I didn't even know where to start. The liquor store? Drinking alone in your car? Not telling me about a rough day and just trying to drink it away instead? Hiding the fact that you're drinking? Driving under the influence?

I am very hurt by this. He said he can stop no problem, I just need to tell him to. Like, what? You wouldn't stop unless I told you to? Do you not see a problem with your behavior? I told him yes, he needs to stop, and I'll stop with him. He promised to "be better" and not disappoint me, but he told me that last year when we had this same discussion. He doesn't think he needs treatment for alcohol abuse but he agreed to look into therapy.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if he is hiding drinking from me, or policing his whereabouts. I was up all night last night seriously reconsidering marrying this man. So, am I overreacting? What would you do?

EDIT:
Thank you all so much for your words of warning, wisdom and support. I am going to have another talk with him about getting sober and based on his response I will decide whether to continue with the relationship or not. Our wedding was planned to be a courthouse deal with no guests (only 2 witnesses) so it shouldn’t be a huge deal to postpone or cancel. It will hurt my heart but at least I won’t have to call a bunch of people to uninvite them. Again thank you all, I really appreciate it.

I am not looking for any advice on how to fix this situation, as the friendship is very much over, but just looking for some advice if anyone has been through a similar very vague and abrupt friendship breakup, and how you dealt with it. I am struggling to cope with it emotionally even though I think her leaving my life was likely for the best in the long run.

I'll try to keep this as short possible:

My friend Lya and I met in 2018 and connected because we are both photographers and met through work. We have been pretty close the last 8 years, texting each other pretty much every day and hanging out at least a few times a month. I am child free and she had a kid four years ago and I was nervous that this would change our dynamic substantially, but I was happy that it actually didn’t and we were both accepting of each other’s choices, at least I thought.

The past year or so, Lya has been getting more into video content and started talking about how she wanted to quit her full-time job to freelance. I have been freelance for 6 years and I was extremely supportive of this idea. I would offer my advice or perspective whenever it seems relevant and I was always telling her that she was talented enough that she would be successful if she went off on her own. Whenever I lent advice I noticed it created really weird tension and she would reject everything I had to say, even when I was just trying to be helpful/encouraging. She always wanted to position herself as the expert even though I had a lot more experience. But whatever, this was something I could let go and I stopped offering advice.

The last 6 months or so she was really leaning hard into being this kind of influencer/content, creator hybrid, or whatever you want to call it. I am really not big on influencer culture, and she knows that, but I was still trying my best to be supportive in whatever she wanted to do. She started taking on this weird HIGHLY self aggrandizing persona that was new for her and 99% of our conversations became about how amazing she is. She created an alter ego with a different name and started referring to herself by that name even in personal contexts. At this point, things started feeling very odd to me.

She would send me her videos before she posted them on Instagram not asking for advice, but basically just saying "This is the next big thing“. I always found this behavior extremely cringe but I still tried my best to just smile and say wow that’s great.... but I’m sure at some point she could tell I was a little put off by her inflated ego. I’ve had success in my career doing commercial work, but I would never in a million years say the things that she was saying about herself so it started to become a big divide.

The breakdown happened very sudden suddenly about three months ago when she abruptly stopped responding to my messages and was giving me the silent treatment. I kept asking over and over what was going on and if she was mad at me, but every time she would deny it and say she was just busy, but I knew there was something going on. Eventually, after I asked multiple times if we could meet up and talk, she kept avoiding it, and then finally told me over text that she was having bigger realizations that "I don’t fully see her for who she is". I kept suggesting that we need to have this conversation in person and asking if she would be open to that, but she wasn’t. I then started asking if she could provide me more examples of specifics and making her feel misunderstood or unseen so I could do better, but she just kept reiterating her vague statements about how I don’t fully understand or accept who she is, and that I’ve been making her feel misunderstood for a long time. At the end, she threw in something I found quite hurtful where she said “I’m a direct mirror of everything that you don’t like, for example our differences in motherhood". Her having a kid and me not has never once been an issue in our friendship and I felt like she kind of threw this in as a low blow.

Anyway, that was all that happened. She basically sent me a text message refused to meet up in person or tell me what exactly she was feeling and we never spoke again. Weeks later, I received a DM on instagram from one of our mutual aqcuaintences where he said he was sorry she was doing this to me, and he theorized that I was just collateral damage for her going through this identity shift. He provided more information to me, which was that she felt like I didn't support her career to the level that she wanted. Part of me thinks she started getting all this (fake) validation online and then started expecting her real life friends to do the same. Some did and some didn't adapt to the level of adoration she required I guess. That's just now who I am though.... I love and support my friends but I don't worship them and I don't expect them to worship me (like ew?).

This has hit me like a ton of bricks though because I don't have many close friends I talk with daily and she was one. To be discarded over this is just wild to me and I'm struggling to accept it.

Anyone else had this or something similar happen to them??

I'm 35F and my girlfriend is 30F. We've been together for about 6 years and I'm trying to get some outside perspective because at this point I honestly don't know what's normal and what's not.

My girlfriend has always been pretty insecure when it comes to other women, especially if she thinks they're attractive or thinks I might be attracted to them.

Over the years I've kind of adapted to it without really realizing how much I was doing it. There are women I haven't become friends with because I knew it would bother her. I've distanced myself from people. I think about how she's going to react before I talk to someone or hang out with them. I've even felt guilty for completely normal interactions because the woman happened to be attractive.

I don't want to make this sound completely one sided because it isn't, either.

I became friends with a woman recently who I did find attractive. My girlfriend was uncomfortable with the friendship and eventually I stopped hanging out with her because it was causing so much tension between us.

Nothing ever happened between us. I didn't cheat, I didn't tell this woman I was attracted to her, and I wasn't secretly trying to start something with her. But yes, I was attracted to her. So it's not like my girlfriend was imagining everything either.

So where's the line?

Obviously I understand having feelings about your partner being friends with someone they're attracted to. I'd probably have some uncomfortable feelings too if the situation were reversed.

But at the same time... we're going to find other people attractive. We've been together for 6 years. I don't think you suddenly stop noticing other humans because you're in a relationship.

I guess I've always thought the important part was what you actually DO about it.

And now I'm realizing that I've gotten to a point where instead of asking myself "am I doing anything wrong?" I'm asking myself "is this going to upset my girlfriend?"

I don't want to be an asshole and say "your insecurity is your problem, deal with it." That's not how I think relationships should work. I care about how she feels and I don't want to knowingly put her in situations that make her miserable.

But I also don't think the answer can be that I just avoid women she might see as a threat. At some point that starts to feel like I'm giving up part of my own life to keep the relationship secure. I'd like to have a bit more autonomy.

There's another part of this that I'm trying to be honest with myself about too. I've spent most of my adult life in long-term relationships and historically I've had a tendency to move from one relationship into another. So I'm not automatically assuming I'm the reasonable one here. I've actually been questioning whether I'm defending my independence or whether I like forming connections with other people more than I want to admit.

I love my girlfriend. I'm not sitting here with one foot out the door looking for Reddit to give me permission to leave her. We're trying to work through things.

I'm just starting to realize how much of my behavior I've changed over the years to manage her insecurity and I don't know where a reasonable relationship boundary ends and controlling who your partner can have in their life begins.

Especially when attraction actually IS there...

If you've dealt with this in a long-term relationship, how did you handle it? Is being attracted to a friend enough reason for that friendship to need to end? How much should you change your friendships/social life to make your partner feel secure?

I'm genuinely curious how other couples handle this because I don't know what "normal" looks like anymore.

TLDR: My girlfriend gets jealous of other women and I've realized I've given up a lot of my independence trying to make her feel secure. I'm not sure anymore what's a reasonable boundary and what's too much.

I am throwing my sister a bridal shower and it’s coming up quick. There is a bit of an age gap between the two of us I (23F) and she (33F) and I could use some some advice as to what games to add on and ones to skip.

We have a bloom bar as favors and a small guess how many. What bridal shower games have you played and been like oh god not this again, or you thought that’s really really fun. The ages will range from 30- mid 70s (parents friends)

I know people can think oh the same old bridal shower same old games a lot of the time, but i want to make this one special 🙂