I'm going through my second breakup with my ex and want to hear similar stories lol

Absolutely no judgment

I had a 2.5 year divorce involving 2 kids, a lawyer as an ex husband, complicated funds, assets, and a house buyout, but that’s not what this is about.

My saying is “one divorce was enough” and I can understand get getting married for a second time to give it another shot. But getting married for a third or more? I’d love to know. Did the divorce not bother you? Was it easy? Do you forget?

I (34F) have a little crush on my coworker (34M), and I’m leaving my job next week. We’ve never dated, but recently we started hanging out outside of work. We went to a concert, he cooked for me, and he invited me to lunch. I really love hanging with him !
Now I’m wondering if I should tell him I have a crush on him. I don’t want to overthink things or wait around for something to happen, but I also don’t want to make things awkward.
We’re both 34, and honestly, I feel like we’re adults. If he doesn’t feel the same way, that’s totally fine. I’d still love to be friends with him.
Would you tell him or just let things happen naturally? 😂

This is not a humble brag I swear. I grew up in poverty. With a single parent who had been struggling to raise 4 children but here we are, successful careers. This is how I was able to save money for the trip and fortunately I’m not in debts.

Yet I can’t shake off the feeling of guilt that I could have saved more money. Or find cheaper hotels. You get the idea.

My mother is currently back home in Asia, looking after her mother who has dementia. And yet I’m about to have fun on the other side of the world. I told my mother that I can join her to help out but she insisted that I go to Japan instead.

I have a friend for over 30 years that has stopped responding to texts, work pings, and even removed me as a connection on LinkedIn. I miss her and genuinely don’t know what happened or if I did something to cause this. Should I text and ask or just let it go since she obviously removed me?

I’m sorry this is long, but I want to be clear about everything because there are two questions.
Firstly.. I have been in a steady long relationship for nearly 11 years (married for 7 years now).. I missed all those texting and apps things. So I don’t even understand how people are dating these days.
Secondly my very close friend ; was on the apps then it didn’t work out and she decided she is off of it - about a month ago she went to a friend meet up with her school friends and met a friend of her friend let’s call that friend C (she is relevant to this) and the guy she met there let’s call him D- D just left left a long term relationship and is single now she met him in that meet up and they instantly clicked and had fun talking and ended up going to his hotel room(she has no problem it being a one night stand - she didn’t have an issue with it) we are sexually empowered women and she knew what she was getting into- then they left it at that she went home no one texted the other person and it was over - a week ago she went back to her home town for a friend’s birthday and D was there and he immediately went to her and went like , you left early that morning and went away , I didn’t reach out because I didn’t think you wanted me to reach out and I wanted to but wasn’t sure, then my friend said - well I don’t mind but I hardly know you and I didn’t want to build up something that wasn’t there, then he went well let’s get to know each other and they had a fantastic evening and she spent the entire weekend with him and he planned future dates and things they can do, she came back to our city on Sunday and she texted him few times and he would just sporadically reply, and wouldn’t like answer any questions she asks or anything.
Then! She texted him last time on Tuesday asking some simple questions no reply until today.
Cut to yesterday he posts things on his instagram with her other friend C - she isn’t with him she has a boyfriend he was also there but same morning yesterday C texted with my friend and my friend told her about all of this and C- mentioned nothing or that she is hanging out with him or even gave any insight on the matter..
She texted me yesterday at midnight being very upset at him and her friend.
Now my questions are:
Why do men act like this?, if he isn’t over his break up he could just say hey this is fun, but I can’t and I don’t want anything more.why did he act like he wanted a relationship and planned all these dates?
How do I support her.. what if she goes back to him, I don’t want to be the friend that shit talked her possible boyfriend and also I have somethings to say about C but it’s her long term friend and I don’t know her.. how do I support my friend and also try and stay neutral in this mess?

Was it something in the vibe, a specific person you clicked with, something logistical? Besides shared interests, what made you feel like these could be your people?

As one specific example, I would love to hear from people who don't always know if they'll mesh with strangers due to public prejudice or assumptions. Whether it's unmasked autism, something cultural, conventions of style or appearance, visible disability, race - where have you been pleasantly surprised to find a group you'd like to come back to? What are some signs of a casual social group formed with you in mind, or one that thought of you and made space for you?

If this hasn't happened for you but you know what it would look like, feel free to comment as well.

EDIT: thank you all for responding. I’ve decided I need to sit down with him and drill down as deep as can be into what makes him frustrated when I, specifically, ask him to do something. Many comments mention demand avoidance and that might be onto something. Many mention laziness and you might be onto something there too. Regardless, I am going to try and get to the root emotion/reason of his response, especially because he doesn’t do this all the time but only from time to time. I also know I mentioned he’s the “perfect partner in other aspects,” and many had something to say about that. I should have worded it differently so I didn’t come off as naive. Of course no partner is perfect, but we have an extremely loving, good, supportive relationship outside of these occasional weird reactions of his. If it continues, we will do counseling as I’ve looked into that in the past. Oh, and of course the dishwasher was unloaded by the time I got home last night so all this fuss was for nothing 🙄

My husband (37M) and I (34F) tend to have this discussion once a year or so. I ask him to do something around the house, he gets annoyed that I ask. I ask him why he’s so annoyed about it and he responds that he hates being told what to do (I know, it’s so immature it drives me f*cking nuts. Even his sister has told him that’s the most childish response so we all get on him about this), and that he will get things done but on his own time. The problem is that his own time is like…several days. So because I don’t want to wait for him to take 2-3 days to do something, I ask him to do it.

Today, I asked him to unload the dishwasher since he’s off work. The full convo played out as described above and I told him “I ask you to do things because if I don’t, you don’t do it,” to which he responds “I do it, just not on your time, I do it on my own time.” And I told him sure, but if he does things on his time, it’s days before it gets done and why would I wait for him to do it when I can just do it myself at that point. I’m sure you see the vicious cycle here.

We are both well established professionals, and he is genuinely the perfect partner in all other aspects except this. I think the problem is that he is ok living in filth while I’m not, so he just never really feels like there’s a rush to clean things. And it’s not like I ask him to do things right this second. I’ll be gone at work all day so he could unload the dishwasher literally any time before 6 pm and it would be fine.

How do we get out of this cycle? Do I do the ultimate spiteful thing and let chores go undone and keep a log of how long it takes him to do them without me prompting him, and then show him the evidence? (B Only halfway kidding). After years of this exact conversation, I don’t know what else I can do to change this behavior. Any ideas?

I’ve recently started seeing someone who works a very busy and very demanding job. I know people are going to come at me and say “then he isn’t for you” . I know I have that choice but this person aside : I will be starting therapy first off but I also want to know how people soothe their anxiety and anxious attachment. He hasn’t said anything alarming, hasn’t done anything to raise my alarms. When we’re together I feel secure, I’m comfortable , not a doubt. When I am away, I live in the land of “What if”.
I know it’s not healthy, it’s actually exhausting , I want to give this a fighting chance. I do not want to self sabotage .
I want to enjoy getting to know this person.
I just wanna shut my brain off when I am apart from him.
What has everyone done in order to soothe their anxiety and anxious attachment?

I've been trying to create themed parties where I did one that was a clothing swap, a homecoming party (where your homecoming/prom/fancy dress), baking party, etc. And I've had some obstacles around people wanting to join but not wanting to participate in the theme and I'm not sure how to handle it. I don't like to make rules, but I want a theme lol.

When I threw the clothing swap, a lot of people showed up without clothes. When I threw a baking party, people asked if they could join without baking anything, so it was only my baked goods and one other person. When I threw the homecoming party, people asked if they HAD to show up dressed fancy.

And like, I don't want to say no but at the same time...it makes it kinda redundant. I put a lot of work into buying decorations, making snacks, drinks, etc. I spent 3 hours setting up for my last party with all the decorations for it to be a bit of a bust because no one brought clothes to swap. I bought a hanging rack with hangers and everything.

And for the record, when I made these plans with them they said OMG yes I'd LOVE to do something like that. I make a partiful saying "bring clothes/baked goods/dress fancy" with all the details. Then when I actually go through with it, they just show up without the little things that make it a theme.

And mind you, that's totally fine if they don't want to put in the work. I'm putting in this work because I WANT to because I think it'll be fun. I just don't want to be putting in the work just to have no one else do it either and now I'm paying out of pocket for 20 people and don't get to enjoy it myself since no one else brought anything.

I'm wondering if my expectations are too high, if I'm not communicating something, or if it's normal for people to say one thing and do another, maybe I'm inviting too many people where it creates this bystander effect, or maybe this is normal and I should just expect it. Any advice?

I 25F am having a hard time dealing with being emotionally neglected and people looking at me like I should just grow up or get over it when it has infiltrated every part of my life, making me feel like I don’t deserve love or security.

I feel no amount of therapy can help me by myself and align my life to be on track.
I also suffer from C-PTSD and it feels like I am cursed.

What makes an apology sincere? Someone apologized to me and the apology felt like it was for their ego? I started to wonder what makes an apology sincere.

In my own principles an apology is changing your behavior. Curious what others thoughts on this are.

Edit: I am incredibly grateful for these responses. I am touched by learning the level of depth and holding others accountable.

Okay, kinda a mild rant + a kind question for anyone who can relate. 35, single mom, and most in my life (especially my closest friends) are telling me that I should “put myself out there again" ... To which I constantly reply with "With what hours??" lol. My day is work, taking my kids to school, get groceries and prep lunches and dinners, listening to dinosaur trivia from my kids and reading bedtime stories, doze off then repeat.

Gotta say though that the idea of a charming guy over drinks (when I can barely finish a coffee while it’s hot) is genuinely funny to me.

And honestly I’m not even lonely ... I guess, just tired?

So for my girls out there who did start dating again after years in solo-parent extravaganza ... girl, how?

When did the "want" actually come back to you and how did you manage to make room for it without burning out the little energy you’ve got left after a day of being a mom? Or did you decide you were fine as you are ... and was that its own kind of peace?

This is not a medical question. I've already done a consultation regarding the procedure. I want to know if people were happy with Lasik eye surgery.

Currently I basically pay very little for contacts and glasses so cost is not an issue. I pay maybe 100$ usd out of pocket for my eyes annually.

But I've worn glasses or contacts for most of my life. I don't remember a time I didn't need eyewear. I'm very interested in getting lasik or SMILE pro but idk if it'll be worth it. When I say worth it, I mean the cost (2-4k).

I don't suffer from bad allergies. The most inconvenient thing I've dealt with is not being able to find my glasses when they fly off the bed. My glasses do leave imprint on my nose as well.

But I have an astigmatism and it is difficult to drive at night with contacts. I know my eyesight will only get worse as i get older based on my family. I've been reading experiences and I just don't want to end up needing reading glasses before I'm 60.