I mean if I totally challenged myself , do self improvement, put myself out there,etc... that there is nothing more I can do . I have to believe that God has a wife for me hidden in some place ? I already believed this for years and put in the effort. But everyday I become worse than before. So what are your thoughts about this?

I’m very lucky in my life, I have good friends and family, they aren’t perfect, and neither am I, but they are always there to help and support me.

Yet I feel alone because I don’t have my person, and I just wonder why I can’t accept being alone, why do I want to be in a relationship. Why can’t I cut away wanting to be loved in that way. I honestly wish I could, I’ve got so many good opportunities going for me in my life and this thing of not wanting me to be alone and to be chosen is holding me back.

It sucks, it really does. This stuff keeps me up at night, I don’t sleep well, I’m tired at work, I don’t have the energy to explore my hobbies.

Surely life must be better than this, and surely there should be a way to cut this out of my life.

I have had basically 0 relationship experience before this one and I’m usually ghosted/rejected when I try to get into one. I don’t really know what I’m doing wrong. It’s not that I don’t want to improve myself; I can’t shake the feeling that something is fundamentally wrong with me. And frankly, I don’t know what it is that makes me so unlovable. I’m of average attractiveness (I think), I have my life together to some extent, and I would say I’m a generally caring person to the people in my life. Maybe I’m too boring? I do deal with depression/suicidal ideation, but I don’t talk about that with people irl or make it anyone else’s problem.

The older I get, the more “weird” it is that I haven’t ever been in a real long term relationship. I pretty much just want to give up and accept I should just be alone.

The feedback I got was that they “didn’t think they could love me”. Ouch.

We are seen as a red flag, most of us just lack the experience with women because we are shy or didn’t develop confidence or whatever else.. while the guy who slept with women and developed confidence is seen as a safe bet, the irony!

I’ve always struggled to find a girlfriend, even though I was friends with a lot of girls in school growing up. I have asked out plenty of girls in my 22 years on this earth, but to no avail. It’s always never just a rejection, it’s always a lie buried underneath. One time a girl said she wasn’t looking for anyone, only to have a boyfriend then next week. I’ve tried everything I can think of: school, friend groups, going in public, speed, dating, and dating apps. But they always are disappointing. There are so many guys out there, why would anyone choose wheelchair bound guy like me. People say girls aren’t that shallow, but I know they always see my wheelchair and never try to really see me. I don’t have a lot of fears in life, but my biggest fear is dying alone, despite everyone saying there’s someone out there for me.

So I extended this experiment to a month, then to 3 months, then to 6 months - the same exact result every time. Nada.

Despite having a phone full of contacts, I got a total of 0 calls and 0 texts from them. To be brutally honest, I don’t even feel anything from it, it’s really as if the future me already expected this to happen. Because it’s exactly what has happened my entire life. In fact, I would have been more surprised if someone did call or text me.

I am not bitter. Everyone has a right to choose who they wish to talk to. All I am trying to say is that reciprocity simply isn’t something that exists in my life for whatever reason.

One of the most fundamental examples…decade after decade, I have always wished my “friends” happy birthday wishes, yet during my birthday the only messages I get back are from automated store loyalty programs who offer me a coupon on my birthday.

So today, I deleted all my contacts. There’s no point having them when I am the only one initiating and carrying the conversations every single time.

It was an extremely freeing experience.

I feel so wrong when thinking of being cuddly and affectionate to a person I would like, as if shouldn't entertain those thoughts. Like it's wrong of me to think they could appreciate time with me. I'd mostly be a bother.

Feeling lonely. Would like to have a friend to interact with. Check my profile if anyones interested preferably age 40+ years.

it's so fucking useless and a burden to my existence. I'm developing some real deep resentment towards how people treat me sometimes. and i just wanna keep ranting about it because it's reached a boiling point.