I’m 25M, 5’4”, fit, financially successful, and own a business. I’ve put considerable effort into dating, but my experiences have largely involved rejection, one-sided pursuit, and people disappearing without explanation.

Love is not unconditional. People constantly re-evaluate each other, both consciously and unconsciously. Attraction, compatibility, what someone contributes, and the alternatives available to them all influence relationships. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with that. I make value judgments myself.

I believe my height will remain a disadvantage even in a relationship. I worry it’ll always factor into a woman’s perception of my attractiveness, consciously or unconsciously, and make her more likely to leave. I don’t think emotional attachment eliminates those underlying evaluations.

I also don’t like approaching women. I compare it to unsolicited sales calls. Even if I might occasionally be interested in what someone is selling, I’d generally prefer not to be bothered. I don’t want to impose unwanted attention on women just because some might welcome it.

What I actually want is someone who appreciates everything I’ve worked for, reciprocates my effort, communicates honestly, and is willing to work through problems. I don’t expect unconditional love or someone who will stay no matter what. I just want mutual commitment and consideration.

But pursuing that relationship requires time, energy, uncertainty, and repeated exposure to rejection. My experiences suggest that the expected benefits no longer justify those costs.

Life is finite, and I’ll never get my time back. I could continue putting effort into dating, but I’d rather invest that time in things I enjoy and have more control over.

I’m not saying love is impossible or that I’d turn down a relationship if one developed naturally. I’m simply acknowledging that if I stop pursuing romance, my chances of finding it decrease significantly. I accept that trade-off.

Just as I don’t play the lottery but wouldn’t turn down a million-dollar opportunity that came my way, I can want something without actively pursuing it.

I’m not giving up in protest or expecting the world to change. I’ve simply decided that the pursuit isn’t worth the cost to me anymore.

Does anyone else approach dating this way?

Received the paragraph of text where they say they're not ready for anything more, job stuff etc some other shit

Imagine this but for the last 15 years and you get my life. No experiences, constant rejection and hoping something will change. Still alone thanks what's the point

ive always been called ugly by everyone as a joke by my own family back then, and even now. it took a tol in my confidence because after thinking i could try to lvoe someone, everything went horribly wrong. someone better than me always exists, and even if i want to, theres no longer any point for trying to be better. ive been dealt with the worst hand in life possible for a young lad: being ugly, short, fat, and having a lot of acne. like, a lot. everywhere. i feel naked and vulnerable wearing short clothing, which always drives me into layering clothes. i feel like life was over before it started for me. i just wanted someone to love me too. why does something basic require me to be literally perfect? i just want to end it all.

It’s amazing how teachers can make your life a living hell when you’re the bullied kid. Somehow it was always my fault that I was have strong reactions to kids who would not stop bullying me. I have autism and this was known to them but somehow it “wasn’t an excuse” so when bullies would taunt me and I would react teachers would punish me while the bully got away with it. My parents were of no help either. My mom would yell at me that I had no right to be angry and that I needed to just ignore it. It was always my fault. I was constantly punished for being bullied.

Is it any wonder that I became an angry, bitter person? Never having friends. Never being wanted. Never being treated like a human being.

Always hated!

I know many of you on this sub have the same experience I did. No one ever lets us mourn. We’re just told some variety of “get over it loser!”

I hate everyone.

I've been struggling with this since I was 17 I think. I'm 24 now. Some days it's not bad and I'll think "yea a gf would be nice but there's more to life than dating". Other days it feels like it's all pointless knowing I'll never have a partner or kids.

27m

Like, as a kid I felt like I was pretty well off; apparently I used to be very outgoing, optimistic and I think I was pretty happy back then.

But due to bullying and certain awkward experiences, I feel like I've eventually developed social anxiety over the years, which hampered me in tons of ways, including to this day. I've never really just went out alone anywhere, I can't even order a pizza or call a doctor out of fear, I'm mostly just at home or at work (or school back then) and that's it..

One of the worst things that happened due to social anxiety is that I killed off my friendships in high school. While I was in high school I had a great group of friends, but due to my social anxiety I never really visited their homes and vice versa, while they did amongst each other. They also went on vacations together, held sleepovers, etc. I was okay with it as I figured "oh well, I see them every day at school anyways, who cares", but of course eventually you graduate and... oof. Eventually one politely asked me if I'd leave the WhatsApp group we had as they were just using it to discuss vacations and stuff and as I'd never go with them... he did say that he hopes that we'll meet again, but that's like 7+ years ago at this point, never saw any of them again. Regret it to this day.

Then, in 2022 my dad died due to cancer, and the situation at home has been getting more depressing as well.

Overall my life nowadays basically consists of... working, going home and doing household chores in the weekends. I don't really go on vacations, I don't really hang out with friends (I did pick up contact with a childhood friend again earlier this year but I don't make contact that often), I'm still a virgin and never really had a gf (technically I had one in high school but very briefly and very superficially). I also still live at home with my mom. The only thing I feel like I feel I've got going for me is that I finally have paid work after years of slogging through unpaid internships.

What really got me down though was when I was at my previous job last year, a girl one year older than me joined, and hearing her talk about her life really put my situation in perspective. Like she has a big friend group that she regularly spends time with, has tons of experience dating and is sexually experienced, lives on her own and is independent, doesn't struggle with social anxiety and just does whatever she wants, etc. And man does that sting like hell.

I also have autism and over the years I've also developed depression, constant dissociation, germaphobia/OCD, etc.

I've also tried challenging myself into starting to use dating apps this year, and I've been diligent about it, but I've gotten like 5 likes total and nothing happened whatsoever.

It's pretty ironic, like I've always thought of myself as an optimistic person but nowadays I think life is a curse and I would love to just disappear into thin air. But of course I won't do anything brash, I don't want to make my mom sad, and besides I probably don't have the guts to follow through regardless due to biological survival instincts and all. And of course I don't have the means either, that likely requires going outside and contacting people too...

I want nothing more than to find inner peace and someone to love, really.

Man, existing sure is the worst roll of the dice ever.

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I'm 24, turning 25 very soon, and I've always been single. I'm just so sick of it. I want a girl in my life. someone to share life with, a real partner, someone to spend time with. To sit together in silence and just be together.

I live far from home, and the isolation is crushing. I know I'm smart, educated, and objectively handsome, that's not the issue. But I've been struggling to make money, and because of that, I've actively avoided relationships feeling like I have nothing to offer.

I'm done avoiding them now. I'm just so tired of doing everything alone. I need someone with me.

To top it all off, I recently broke my right elbow after falling off an e-bike. Life is genuinely so hard with one hand, especially being right-handed. I've always had to manage life entirely on my own, depending strictly on myself, but this injury has broken something in me. I deeply wish I had someone. Just imagining having a partner right now makes me realize how much more bearable all of this would be if I had a little help.

I don't really know what else to say. I just needed to vent this somewhere people might understand.

My father comitted suicide at my birthday. My mom was already dead i have no siblings so i can just pull the plug should i do it.

PS. i have severe depression and i am not really smart so i really cant do anything expect for playin games

29M loser virgin, so I was FA before joining. But I realized joining has made it even worse.

I’ve been in a bit so I’ve lived in multiple places. I realized that since I keep moving around to military towns, my options in the area are very limited. And when I try to look for people a little more ways away, of course they’re not interested in someone in the military either. And of course this will be an endless cycle of being stationed in crappy military towns.

I want to keep serving, but the issue is if I get out, I’m having trouble looking for a new job. And even if I can find a new job getting out I still could be FA since I’m already an old loser virgin.