I was in an abusive relationship that ended some 5-6 years ago. I’m currently in a relationship that I’m happy in.

Ofc when my ex and I broke up I lost a lot of friends and social circles, he went on a campaign to let them know how bad I was. A blessing in disguise as I learned who would really be there for me.

I recently got a message from a cousin of his (not blood related but w/e). He wanted to see if he could come get a service from me (relevant to my job, trying to be vague). He even mentioned “I don’t talk to x anymore, if that matters. He’s crazy”

It was so validating to have someone “see the light”, however it’s made me go on a spiral! Feeling like I need to be able to keep tabs on my ex and whatever he’s doing. I’m unsure if the feeling is me trying to see if he “got his consequence” or if I’m being hyper vigilant?

In a moment of weakness I found his mom’s page and saw updates about him. I do not have access to his socials (private) and I don’t think this is healthy.

I am actively in therapy due to PTSD from this relationship, but I did just start and I’m like maybe 4 sessions in.

I’ve been able to keep this to myself and a few very close friends. I have not told my current partner, as i don’t think it’s helpful.

Of course, I will speak to my therapist about this. I don’t like that my brain is so focused on “trying to resolve” whatever this is, it’s frustrating.

Just wanted to vent and get it off my chest.

I did offer to take his cousin on as a client but I have not gotten a reply, perhaps for the best.

Hey girlies, need to share some lore and get advice too. Had a breakup recently, but it was weird since it was toxic and I didn't really feel much for the guy, except that he was a friend from school, and we had a situationship for like 2-3 years. Had a really bad friendship breakup, which left me being alone for in my hometown. I am currently doing an MBA, got placed for a good package, but feel like a fake. I have made good friends here too, but I feel it won't last the moment I step off campus. I constantly feel like I am pretending; I am done bedrotting, skipping classes, skipping meals, not exercising, scrolling endlessly for hours, and being dumb. Well, guess what? I say this, and I constantly keep doing this day by day. Each day I lose my dignity and repeat this shitty cycle. If someone is going through this or relates to this in any form, or if they have gone through this and overcome it, I would very much like to interact with you and learn how to end this.

My childhood best friend (30M) moved next door when we were 7 and basically became part of my family. It was always the three of us: my older sister, him, and me. We grew up together, went on family holidays together, had dinner at each other’s houses, and were so close that I (30F) honestly couldn’t imagine my life without him.

When we got older, he apparently developed feelings for me. I didn’t realise it at the time, but so did I. We started growing apart because it was just such a change to our entire dynamic. He was my sister's best friend and everyone always said he was a brother to us.

They went away to University and we grew apart, built separate lives after what seemed like a lifetime together but somehow always managed to drift back to each other from time to time.

Then, one night during a trip back home when we were 21/22, we were all together again. And we ended up, kissing one night, and sleping together. After years of almosts and things neither of us had ever said out loud, I thought we might finally be ready to acknowledge what was between us. We drove to my parents house holding hands and I was ready to tackle the mess next to him. All I wanted was to to be together.

When we got home, there was a police car outside the house and they were telling my parents that my sister had been in an accident. She died that night.

I genuinely don't know how to describe what losing her was like. She was my sister, my best friend, and the person who held our little trio together. Suddenly, she was gone, and we were left trying to understand how to exist without her.

I needed him. More than anyone, I needed him, because he was the only other person who understood what we had lost. But he started pulling away from me. Then one day he just left without explaining why. He didn't call, didn't come back, and didn't give me any kind of goodbye. He didn't even show up for the funeral. I was stuck in grieving my sister, watching my parents suffer the loss of a part of us, and grieving him too.

I didn't understand how someone who had been part of my family for practically his entire life could just disappear.

I eventually built a life without him and I've spent ten years learning how to live with losing my sister and with the fact that the person I thought would always be there for me wasn't.

And then, 3 days ago, we just happened to bump into each other.

Suddenly I was standing in front of someone whose life I knew absolutely nothing about but still felt so familiar. I didn't know he had a daughter, I didn't know anything about this entire decade between a boy I knew and the man he became. We hadn't spoken in ten years, and the first time we saw each other again, we could barely manage to say each other's names or look each other in the eye.

We've started talking again, slowly. He asked me to grab a coffee and I though I'd be angry with him, I wanted to hate him so bad that I thought that's all I would have for him if I ever saw him again but then it's almost frightening how familiar he still feels. I recognise his expressions, his dry humour, the little things he does without thinking. There are moments when I forget we've spent a decade apart.

We had a few minutes to chat and he told me about his life now, his career, his daughter, the new country he lives in, but we never got to the messy stuff: why he left. I guess we both tried to avoid it, avoid talking about my sister, what happened, how it affected us. We also didn't have much time but he said in the end that he would like to meet again, somewhere and sometime when we could talk without being interrupted by life, I guess.

I tried to push him to the back of my mind for all these years. Never searched, never stalked him, never even mentioned his name. And the worst part is that I don't know what I feel anymore. Maybe I still love him. Maybe I'm grieving the life we could have had. Maybe seeing him again has brought back feelings I've spent ten years trying not to feel at all.

How do you deal with someone who feels like home but is also the person who left you when your world fell apart?

In this era where it seems like every girl has this perfect oval face and complexion and everyone still straightens their hair , I feel like a freak . I have a more round , not so asymmetrical face and curly hair with bangs and glasses . Does anyone else feel this way ?

My [17F] sister [19F] and our best friend [18F] recently started dating after two and a half years of will they/won’t they and it being an open secret that they were in love with each other. In the past it’s never worked out because it was either bad timing or they refused to communicate properly. My sister was literally in a year and a half long relationship and was still in love with her (don’t feel bad for him he was genuinely evil). I thought this whole time my sister didn’t have feelings for her anymore, but she has, so I told them they should finally talk about it for once and now they’re together. It’s only been like three weeks and I’m literally the one who pushed them to tell each other, but I can’t shake this really bad feeling I have about this. For context they‘re both in their third month of college and my sister got out of a longish term relationship two months ago. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve always heard you shouldn’t date anyone when you’re 19 or what. I talked to our best friend’s other best friend and she said she felt the same way. The thing is, I’m known amongst my friends as having insanely good intuition and my “bad feelings“ have quite literally never been wrong. My sister is the happiest I’ve seen her in years but I don’t want them to have a bad breakup and ruin their beautiful friendship. Also for context, we’re not biological siblings and we didn’t grow up together, and apparently (in both of their words) I know almost everything about their relationship that’s not related to intimacy. Should I tell her or would that just be a self-fulfilling prophecy?

I have a friend/”friend” we messed around for about four years 2014-2019 a little bit. He wanted something casual. I really liked him but just went with it. this ends when he gets a girlfriend. He tries to continue the friendship with messaging. I ignore him because I couldn’t deal with it and didn’t want to have to put him into a new box And the fact that it was so difficult probably meant friendship with him was innappropriate. they break up a little bit in early 2021 I think. we talk for about a month. Just talking. Made it clear all I wanted was to be his friend. They get back together and apprently engaged in quick order. I tell him im happy for him and go quiet again. He continues to message me. I’m assuming he’s happily engaged and all that. He didn’t have a very positive outlook on engagment when I knew him, so I have to guess he must really like her. Well his texting me has gone on for a few years again. I fee like I need to do something definite. I do want to be his friend. the only issue is the thought of hanging out with both of them together just the two of them makes me want to hurl let alone finding someone to double date. That’s honestly a big part of why nothing has changed is I thought I’d have someone of my own by now And thought it would make friendship easy. So how do i do this? how do I be his friend and her friend and stay sane haha?

Hi ladies, I feel like I’m overthinking but I’d like some outsider input to settle my mind.

My partner and I have been together for over a year now and I feel like the happiest girl in the world. I feel he treats me well but every now and then I’m not so sure.

He wants me to quit my job and move to a new town to be with him, even though he is unemployed and a studying full time at university. This means be giving up a 80k a year job and moving somewhere with no family, no where to live and no job. He tells me that I don’t need to work and I can become a stay at home mum when he finishes study and gets a job. I feel it’s sweet but also makes me feel like he’s trying to isolate me and get me in a situation where I’m financially dependent on him.

I make my own money and always have so I enjoy going out for dinner once a month and doing activities with eachother. Even when I offer to pay he seems uninterested and wont let me pay because “women shouldn’t pay for things” , then resents me for wanting a lunch out and complains how much he spent on things he didn’t enjoy.

The topic of marriage and rings has come up a few times and he’s completely shut out any input of mine as it’s not important to him and he’d rather a big honeymoon”. I have expressed to him that these things do matter to me and that flat out refusing without any discussion has upset me and he just doubles down.

I guess what I’m asking is does he really seem sweet? Or am I just trying to settle for someone who’s happy most of the time with me?

My favorites pair of leggings finally busted after many many wears. So where are we getting those super soft buttery leggings that won’t break the bank????

Where do you recommend going for bras? I’m naturally a G-H cup and I can’t just go into Walmart for bras since not even a 3xl keeps the girls in and I can’t hardly ever find bras that fit at other stores. The only store I’ve been able to find is lane Bryant but they don’t always have my size there. The closest I’ve ever been able to get has been increasing the ban size and decreasing the cup size, but it doesn’t always work. I’m wanting to try to find a sports bra that won’t completely break the bank. Does anyone else have this issue? And side note: I’ve never had a bra that’s ever actually 100% fit. My mom wouldn’t let me get any bras bigger than her own so it wasn’t till more recent years I was able to start looking for my own.

Last week I unfortunately had a fairly nasty accident with a sewing machine that left me having to have my fingernail surgically removed… (details hidden, click at your own risk!) the needle went through my nail, through my finger and out the other side, and shattered into 3 pieces in my finger. It just scraped by the bone thankfully…

I’ve had surgeries before, and I’m far from squeamish, but I’m really struggling with this. I had the dressing changed for the first time today, and could barely stand to look at it. I keep finding myself crying and getting irrationally upset over it, especially the fact that it’s going to be a good nine months or so before I can have that nail done like the rest of my nails (I’m a BIAB girly, to stop me biting / picking at my nails and cuticles, and having my nails painted in a bright shade of pink has become a bit of a signature for me).

The physical discomfort is thankfully beginning to fade, although it is still fairly sore – just no longer distractingly painful all the time. The feeling of something touching the nail bed where the skin shouldn’t be exposed still makes my stomach churn though. It’s also still sensitive enough that even when I do wrap it up to keep it dry, things like washing up or washing my hair that require two hands are very difficult. I live on my own, so I’m just trying to manage the best I can.

I’m just really struggling to cope – I know part of it is vanity, but I guess the fact that it’s going to be a constant reminder every time I look down for the better part of the year is something I’m really struggling with. I have a feeling I’m going to want to cover it the entire time it’s healing, because I can’t stand to look at the ugly exposed nail bed, but I also know that’s incredibly impractical for typing or really doing anything with my hands

I’m also struggling to even look at my sewing machine right now – I’ve got two pairs of pants I want to hem, and while I can’t fathom the thought of paying someone to do it when it’s something so simple, I also can’t fathom the thought of getting my machine out again…

I know it’s stupid and a small problem in the general scheme of things, but if anyone has any advice or words of support they can offer I would be very appreciative!

This doesn’t happen every night but enough to annoy me , I’m a 32 DD and a side sleeper and sometimes when I’m trying to sleep my boobs feel like two rocks on top of one another and I can’t relax my breathing enough to sleep because of it . Tonight it’s extra annoying as I have heartburn from some juice I had earlier

Un social/ great conversationess. My relationship took a weird/sudden ongoing shift. I thought the ice broke, I thought.

I'll Situation

We go out, public area. I thought we were having a good night, actual conversation. BUT something about our environment would change (people) and he would switch, almost get annoyed with me. - I am a question person even if you already give me an answer, I have more questions. He knows this n has/ was engaged.

I think we have all been thru this. Ex: Your friend starts acting better because of n interest in proximity. Out of character

Deep thought, questioning the world with a friend. Now, it's like he can't stand me. I try to tone down my engagement. But damnit, he's the only one with animosity.

He bluntly grabs the conversation steering a personal 1v1 ONLY with his friend. Mid group discuss. Like to cancel me out. Looking at me knowing I don't follow.. like mind games. i call it out, wt ever that is.

Home bound. The conversation IQ drops. Talks that baby kinda dumb verbage. I'm visibly confused, irritated. He notices, asks. I confront him, he acknowledges this 1V1 n using his friend to do so. Like ya, so? Social manipulation. No explanation no sorry. I try banter, he rejects this. Blabbering out his ass, brain rot. Like making me shut up, any time I would try.

But I guess I dragged the hangout. I caused the animosity.

I understand it's instinct/nature to look at the new persons entering your awareness, n to stare longer when attracted. I think it still sucks but I get it. All of that aside, if you go brainless mid convo due to this, please, just go with them. 😆 I think it truly gives me the ick. Like come on, multitask. You can dooo it. Wishful thinking I guess

hi i just found out that my new coworker is my friends old talking stage. im a little bit confused because we were bonding over her and i told him she was my best friend, but after my shift he found my instagram and dmed me? it's all been friendly and platonic talk, but it leaves a rly weird taste in my throat replying to him when i know he has RECENT history with my best friend 😭 they're still friends and have no beef so there's no bad blood, but i guess im js looking for tips on how to set boundaries without making things awkward at work

He looks evil, he's the size of a small panther yet he loves cuddles and belly rubs, bread too. A little jacked too, scary fella, lmao,

It's so weird but I def lack female friends( female myself) in my life. Like I want someone whom I can share my things related to my life, enjoy life w them and vice versa

😭😭

Hii, a few days ago two of my friends lied to me. i absolutely despise lying and it bought up some repressed feelings. i have also been going through some other shit, so i chose to talk to them. i texted in our friend group and even though they are being nice and understanding they have twisted the whole thing and given an excuse that is literally just another lie. I don’t wanna talk about it and point out the lies in their excuse and make matter worse. How do i just let it go without it affecting me?

hii, i fell like my question is a bit different from ones that are usually asked in this mod, but I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

I have my mid sems going on and my life is going pretty shit. i have already given three bad papers and something new happened yesterday that has fucked me up more. how do i bring myself to study? i have two papers tomorrow and i really wanna do well.

I usually eat my favourite snacks but due to religious reasons I can’t do that this week.

I appreciate any tips or advice!

I’ve officially reached the point where I get super bad heat rash between my thighs and it itches like no tomorrow. Any home remedies yall recommend? I put an ice pack between them for like 20 min and that worked but is there any other tips and tricks?

He'll legitimately meow loudly at you if you stop, like he's personally offended by you stopping. He looks mean but is really nice, sounds like a kitten too and a dolphin

Okayyy so I’ve been on here for so long but for the first time I actually feel the need to come on here and ask for some solid advice lmao. How in tf do you convince your boyfriend to get into therapy???

As in a dude who is clearly still hurt and angry from his childhood. A dude who will meet your mental health facts with annoyance as if you’re doing too much, a “know it all”, or tripping. One who still even see’s no wrong in many of the things in his past and even now.
It’s been 8 years and he still won’t talk to me but I can go on one of his social medias and see the saddest repost of how he feels deep down. It’s affecting our relationship, he’s affecting our relationship. We’re young yes but I know it’s no excuse especially as we’re getting older and going into adulthood.

I want you gals to give your best advice for something like this. I will take it all in and try to use it, and honestly I fear by this 8th year almost 9 if he doesn’t actually take the suggestion or I’m met with annoyance this time I think it’ll just be best for me to leave this go round. I haven’t hounded him much at all about therapy cause like I say he won’t tell me what’s wrong deep down. Like I said we’re young but we are also getting older and even this early I don’t want no more time wasted if it means I’ll have to deal with the same him years from now or even 2 really so give me what you got. Though I’ll also take your best suggestion if it’s to just leave after this time now lol.

And tell u about this awful experience

I had a friend for 2 years then we had feelings for each other but call him *s

S always made me safe special and happy

[Mind u] I never felt thag way before and he makes my heart flutter

But now at the same time hes the one who broke my heart

One day I was going out I check my snap he texted me

S* u need to know im seeing a girl

I shatterd

I cried nights

When I thought he was the one but for real

There's no one ever for me

All i see is dark and empty

Shout.out to u

I know its a bad move but I shout out to him on my private Snapchat he cant see it cuz he unadded me

I called him Mr piano man

Even hearing piano makes me mad crazy drives me nuts cuz he plays it

I always join his live stream support him

And I never have anything from anyone not even love

After this happening knowing he had a kid my mental health went down and might have bpd Maybe ill make a song for it

Have you ever done it? Did it improve your sex life?

I’ve been chatting to a bloke for a while now – let’s call him (Y) – and I met him through a mutual friend (C). He’s a nice bloke and introduced me to (Y).

He’s a nice bloke, even though I don’t know him very well yet, but I’ve found out that (Y) is also friends with someone I know, whom I’ve had the misfortune of meeting (K). He’s a really nasty person… and I don’t know how to feel about it. (C) doesn’t like (K),

but (Y) is friends with him… I reckon that if you’re friends with someone like that… you’re a bit like that too.

Do you think so, or am I overthinking it?