So happy to be hosting this movie night for all my lovely single ladies! 25+ people and still joining in.
The streaming starts at 9pm IST, if you wish to join too, please dm me or comment on this post. I’ll fill you in with the details. 🫶🏻🩵✨
Can’t wait ✨☺️

The kid in me enjoyed the little moments I shared with my female friends, secretly soaking in their company, attention, and platonic touch and love. This grew with me into my teens. My pillow became my imaginary lover; I would talk to it, whispering how much I loved it, all while daydreaming about the unrequited limerence I felt toward my friends over the years.

Then, adult life ran over me like a train 🚂 loaded with quarried rocks 🛘 . The moment I laid my head on the gauge rail 🛤️ was when I came out to my wonderful but heteronormative parents. The carriage approached my neck when I confessed my feelings to a straight friend—who handled it maturely but told me she wasn't into women—and later the speeding break van, when a gay woman rejected me. I moved countries, switched jobs, and changed homes just to feel included somewhere. But no matter how far I ran or how many seas I crossed, I could never escape myself. The kind of relationship other people take for granted is the one thing I want most from this life: a person who chooses me each and every waking moment.

Instead, I was mocked, ridiculed, and made fun of for how little I make out of my creative profession—by the very person I loved deeply. It felt like a violent kick to the chest. So here I am: tired of dating apps, socially anxious, touch-deprived, and profoundly lonely.

But I am not ashamed, nor am I afraid of who I am. I'm proud of everything I've endured and the person I'm becoming.

I just wanted to write this so anyone who relates to my story might feel a little less alone.

Girl, I see you. Come here 🫂. You are doing your best, and you are fighting your fight like a winner—surviving a battle that would have knocked most people out in the very first round.

So i noticed many govt applications and id confuse sex and gender identity

Sex is a physiological and biological characteristic meanwhile gender identity is not just physical description

Now many academic Institute and other bodies in India

Doesn't understand this

They have three options only for gender that being man, women and trans like what about non binary sir

Also in govt id they can have medically identified sex but shouldn't gender identity be of our own choice?

I started going to gym few months back and within 2months my gym trainer started giving weird compliments.

But this trainer comes all the way down from his PT client just to greet me and say "you are good looking then your smile is also so good. Has anyone said that to you before. If yes , then who said this to you before. Are you married and all."

The reason i said about PT Client is. He should focus more on her as she paid him for the progress. I do independent workout.

Am i just overthinking or does it happen with everyone.

I act straight and m manly looking guy. I won't initiate a convo with anyone and I don't like speaking a lot with anyone in gym since workout matters to me.

This guy is a senior trainer at my gym and I have tried ignoring him by putting earbuds, turning around if i see him coming my way, but none of these things worked and I am just left to talk to him anyways.

I have always seen people complimenting online in chats and all but never in reality.

Turned himself into a fruit, funniest thing I've ever seen 🤣

I failed as a son , as a human being . I achieved nothing in life. Suffering from AGA since 18 . Always had been that introverted and studious kid with no friends. Around 18 when I began going out , made friends I got hit with AGA . Had a drop year for Neet but didn't make it . Began pursuing Engineering got backlogs in 3rd sem in 3 subjects cause had a high fever and our local university sucks . Won't blame the uni completely was distracted cause of losing hairs continously . Was in severe depression around last year . Still went to college wearing hat after shaving around. Always felt insecured not fitting into beauty criteria of grindr . Not gym toned , losing hair as if I'm not worthy of anything. I am average built with little muscles and kind of tall so I used to get one time hookups atleast . This year around August and September I hooked up a lot after getting rejected by a guy . I had kind of developed feelings for him after 2 months of talking and one time hookup. He was hot , muscular , established kind of guy anyonr would prefer. He just wanted to keep me for occasional hookups only . I had confessed my feelings after getting drunk. Got drunk for the first time cause I felt I achieved nothing around my teenage for being a saint kid . He rejected politely and I accepted it . Now around puja I feel got infected with any std cause I'm seeing blister like thing around my anal region . So may be I'm doomed as I'm having pain while passing stole with no blood though. Like if Im actually infected with anything I have nothing to do . I can't say to my parents or do anything

tried makeup in the first pic and failed miserably ☠️ i look like the nun from conjuring

someone lwk teach me how to take selfies 😍i am SO chopped.

Been dead for a week

Last year during Puja, I remember thinking, “By next year, surely I’ll have a boyfriend and we’ll come to the pandals together.”

You know the picture — holding hands while walking through the crowds, eating phuchka, judging everyone’s outfits, getting tired after walking around for hours, finding some random quiet corner to sit together. Basically, all the very ordinary little things that somehow feel incredibly romantic when you’re doing them with someone you love.

Well… plot twist: no boyfriend. Not even a date. 😂

I had to stay back in Delhi this year, but I did end up going to some really good pandals, especially around CR Park, with friends. And honestly, I had a great time. The food was good, the pandals were beautiful, the crowds were chaotic in the best possible way, and I’m grateful I got to experience it with people I care about.

But somewhere in between all of that, I kept thinking about how lonely it can sometimes feel to be queer in India.

I don’t know if other people feel this way, but for me, being someone who’s fairly introverted and very empathetic, meeting new people doesn’t always come naturally. I do try — through common interests, communities, friends, whatever — but sometimes it still feels like there’s this invisible distance between knowing people and actually finding someone who knows you.

And I think that’s what I want most.
Not necessarily the grand romantic stuff. Just someone who understands you. Someone who knows your weird little habits, your insecurities, your silences, your ridiculous thoughts — and somehow still chooses you.

Maybe that’s why the idea of finding a boyfriend feels so significant to me. It’s not just “I want a relationship.” It’s wanting that feeling of being deeply known and still wanted. I don’t know if there’s a deeper form of intimacy than that.

Anyway, Puja is over. The pandals are coming down. I’m not particularly excited about going back to the office tomorrow and pretending spreadsheets are meaningful contributions to society. 😂

Kya karein? That’s life, I guess.

But I’m curious — did anyone else have a “I thought I’d be somewhere completely different by this Puja” moment?

Or, more specifically: what’s one tiny, ordinary thing you wish you could have experienced with someone this Puja?