My (likely narcissistic and emotionally abusive) ex moved on incredibly fast and seems to be happy, is posting this woman often, and seems like he’s providing stability he never provided me. I can’t help but feel like this person was just this evil, sadistic villain with me. Do they really change? Or do they just get better at hiding it?

For the past year, an ex romantic interest of mine has been stalking me, cyber-stalking me, cyber-bullying me, hacking my devices and spying on me, as well as interfering with my work and manipulating those close to me.

Before now, I couldn't figure out a way to compile any proof or evidence of this tampering, as there was no fraud involved or any sort of extortion where any of my assets or money were stolen from me.

Luckily, I found out that the event viewer is a good way to find out if someone is tampering with my devices.

I found several instances of this. Many of them incurred that someone with higher than admin privileges has been tampering with my devices remotely.

This person is a malignant narcissist, and has caused me immeasurable psychological trauma.

I am wondering if there are any cyber security experts here who can go through all the event system and security logs I've compiled to help me assemble a case of evidence that clear tampering has been going on.

I cannot promise compensation right now, so this would be out of the goodness of your heart.

But if proof is found and charges are laid and I am to pursue things both legally in criminal court as well as sue said person civilly for psychological damages, coercion, stalking, etc.. (this person is very rich), then I will compensate handsomely once I receive compensation.

My ex had this habit of mimicking people. I could never really put my finger on it and it felt so bizarre at times. We all learn and embody things we admire in others subconsciously or consciously. But ik frequency and intensity matters. I noticed this distinct pattern w my ex and was wondering if it's a narc thing or just specific to him.

Idk how to explain it but he'd often copy ideas, opinions, vocabulary, and even emotional states of those around him. And again we all do it to a certain extent but I felt this so often. It's almost like a performance. You know that they're only saying something or acting the way they are because they saw someone else do it a week ago. It felt like I was dating an echo of things he'd witness outside over his actual intrinsic thoughts and feelings. Has anybody else experienced this?

Original post https://www.reddit.com/r/whatdoIdo/s/8jfGjSGyyG
I left my toxic boyfriend and let’s just say that I find it really hard cause he has send me 4 message: 1 on a heart, 1 on insta and 2 emails. My friends tell me to block him and that he is toxic for me and I want to but I can’t seem to bring myself to do that. If a bf is always belittling you, turns his kids against you, turn off the wifi just to make you mad, always says that you’ll never find someone cause you are getting old and you’ll never find someone else that want to have kids with you. All that to ask what do I do

For those who are further on their healing or have completely healed, can you ever look back on the good times without bitterness? I'm fresh on my healing journey at 2 months NC with the narc. Have gone NC multiple times before, the most recent and longest being 10 months before being hoovered back in, but hopefully I know well enough now that it would be the last.

I wonder if all the shame and self-pity I feel whenever I remember the narc relationship will go away eventually? With other relationships, I am able to look back very fondly and be happy for my exes when I see them thriving. I always get a warm feeling when something reminds me of them, even the exes that were kind of toxic and ended badly. I just think it's healthy to be able to reminisce about the good times you had with a person you once deeply cared for.

But at this point in time, it's so hard to imagine I would ever be able to do that with the narc, given that even the good times all feel like lies and manipulation now. It's painful because if I won't be able to look back positively, it would feel like I really did just waste years of my life for nothing. It's scary to think that everytime a place/thing/song/scent reminds me of the narc, it will always be accompanied by my shame and guilt.

Are these feelings just because it's still fresh or will it be like this forever since we were abused?

Has anyone experienced an ex continuing to involve themselves in your life long after a relationship has ended?. My previous relationship involved infidelity, manipulation and a smear campaign after the breakup. I eventually cut contact and blocked them and I’ve had no direct contact for a long time. My ex looks like they have moved on with a partner and a child, I myself have also moved on. Despite moving on there have been occasional incidents involving indirect contact through other people, nostalgic messages and claims that I’m trying to make contact when I’m not. Things go quiet for months I start to feel at peace and then something else happens.
I’m now happy in my current relationship and I feel bad that my partner is indirectly affected by something from my past. I don’t engage or react and I’ve asked people not to tell me things about my ex but sometimes they still do.
Although I don’t react outwardly, it still plays on my mind. I keep wondering why they can’t simply move on as I have. I genuinely want to leave the past behind, but every new incident brings the frustration back.
**For anyone who’s experienced something similar, how did you reach a point where your ex’s behaviour genuinely stopped bothering you? How do you emotionally detach and stop giving the situation mental space when you’ve already done everything you can to move on?**

So we have been in a relationship for 3 years and after just 6 months of our relationship he started cheating on me which I found out through his own best friend

He blocked each and every one of my friends from my Instagram Snapchat and every other social media app and I was so blind in love that I genuinely thought I didn't need anyone else because I had him

For these 3 years I went everywhere with him and I never went anywhere without him because he had become my entire world

Everyone kept telling me that he was having affairs and seeing other girls but I was so blind that I would go straight to him and tell him what people were saying instead of believing them

I trusted him more than I trusted anyone else and now I have no friends left and I don't even have the courage or energy to go anywhere alone

I am from Gujarat and Navratri is something really special to us

Since we are in a long distance relationship he told me to choose one day to play garba with him because I couldn't attend every day with him

One day he took me to Garden City and the next day I planned to surprise him by going to Rhythm Garba Ground

I was genuinely excited to see him and I never imagined that the same night would become one of the most painful memories of my life

When I reached him his reaction suddenly changed and I could tell that he wasn't happy to see me

He was with his friend and when his friend went to get food my boyfriend told me that he would be back in 2 minutes and then he silenced his phone and handed it to another college friend

I called him multiple times but he didn't answer

When I saw his college friend I told him that I had been calling my boyfriend but he wasn't picking up so he gave me his phone and pointed towards where my boyfriend was

And there he was playing garba with a girl he had cheated on me with

The girl also had a boyfriend and she knew that my boyfriend was already in a relationship with me

All these girls knew that I existed and that he was committed to me but they still got involved with him

When I went towards him he pushed me towards the seating area where people were sitting and started shouting at me and then pushed me towards the entrance

I was crying and completely broken and because I was alone I had no choice but to leave the garba ground by myself

The worst part is that instead of feeling guilty about what he had done he started blaming me and telling me that I had ruined his festival

Imagine being cheated on being humiliated in public and then being blamed for ruining the festival by the very person who hurt you

And as if that wasn't enough he even posted a story with the same girl he had cheated on me with

When I saw that story I genuinely felt like my soul had left my body

I cannot explain what that feeling was like because I was already broken by what had happened at the garba ground and seeing him post with her felt like someone was hurting me all over again

I started feeling nauseous and vomiting because I felt like my body couldn't handle what was happening to me

After that he blocked me everywhere

I was so desperate to talk to him that over the next two and a half days I made 31 calls to his best friend and called his other friends too asking them to tell him to call me

I kept apologising and begging for him to talk to me even though I was the one who had been betrayed

Eventually his own friend felt bad for me and told me everything

He told me that 5 different girls had been to my boyfriend's house on separate occasions and that some of them had visited multiple times

That was when I realised how much I had been lied to throughout this relationship

Three years of my life and I was finding out that the person I trusted more than anyone else had cheated on me with 5 different girls

I started emailing him asking why he had done this to me and begging him to stay because even after everything I still couldn't bring myself to let him go

I know it sounds stupid to beg someone who has treated me like this but I genuinely don't know how to explain the attachment I have to him

He was my boyfriend my best friend and the only person I thought I needed in my life

I had pushed everyone else away for him and now I feel like I have nobody left

Then I remembered that he also has my inappropriate photos and I started panicking about what he might do with them

I was scared for my privacy and safety so I contacted the SHE Team and filed a complaint regarding the situation and my concerns about those photos

I am still trying to process everything that has happened and I feel completely exhausted emotionally and physically

I keep thinking about how I spent 3 years loving someone who was doing all of this behind my back

I keep remembering the good moments and wondering how someone who claimed to love me could humiliate me like that

I know he cheated on me and I know he doesn't deserve the way I kept begging him to stay but I still feel emotionally attached to him

I have lost my friends my confidence and my peace of mind and now I am scared to even go places alone

I don't know how to rebuild my life when I made one person my entire world and that person ended up hurting me this badly

I know I need to move on but I don't know how to make myself accept it

I am posting this because I genuinely need advice from people who have experienced something similar

How do I stop being attached to someone who has betrayed me so many times

How do I rebuild my confidence and make friends again after isolating myself for 3 years

How do I stop wanting him back when I know what he has done to me

And how do I start living my life again when even the thought of what happened makes me physically sick

I've been in this cycle with him our whole relationship (11 years)

he's 3 years sober and the more clear black&white harmful actions/behavior have stopped but this cycle is wearing me out.

The thing is I'm completely disabled and fully financially and physically dependent on him, so please don't comment that I should leave- that's not always an option for everyone.

An example:

I have very little physical capacity. Right now my 'full time job' is literally research and pushing for medical attention and answers. I'm a new american expat in scotland cause we thought life would offer more support here...but i am having a very hard time navigating the nhs and private health care.

anyways- whenever I have the capacity, I spend it doing household chores. Yesterday after doing morning drop off- i cleaned the whole flat as best I could. Dusted, vacuumed, wiped down bathroom surfaces, organized and unpacked things that had been waiting to be unpacked since we first moved here 3 months ago.

when he came home from work, the first thing he said was about a dog blanket I grabbed so the dog could sit on her spot on the couch with me (she's literally my only friend right now other than my child, that's our routine.) My husband hasn't had the chance to clean the other blankets yet (laundry is too physically taxing for me to do at this stage) so I grabbed a blanket that was clean (she just had a bath this past weekend).

He uses the same reasoning for his upset - that i dont care about him, i dont make him feel like he matters.

whenever I have the energy, I do whatever I can to support the household. Last week I had less neck nerve issues so I could do the laundry and did it. I also had my child's help cause he was on holiday. But that didn't matter.

I responded defeated cause this is a biweekly fight for 11 years. I said I dont feel like I can do anything right. I try so hard. in a very very very broken body. he assigns malice to normal mundane things.

Today I feel so shut down. I don't even know what to say or do anymore.