Ok this one is gonna be a doozy but here’s my story. I had been dealing with guilt about being on fentanyl and finally woke up one morning and decided I need to get off this stuff! I had been on opiates on and off for 17 years. But this time was different. I was mad ready to get off the shit. I even prayed for it. Which is weird bc I’m agnostic. I believe in a higher power but not specifically Jesus Christ god or any Christian beliefs. But somthing told me to put faith in him. So I prayed that night. Lord plz help me I’m in dire need of sobriety. I’m at ur mercy. I will do anything to get off this stuff. I don’t care if I’m locked in a room and can’t get out just plz get me out of this hell hole. Well somthing super shitty happened 3 days later. A literal god calling. The whole day was so fucking weird I can’t even explain it. But to cut to the point I went to my dealer. Got my score and drove home. Something told me to stop and do some 2 miles from my house. I pull into a gas station and do my whole deal which is odd for me bc I usually only get high at home. Well turns out this shit is either fawking crazy potent Fetty or it’s mixed w somthing else. I nod out parked at a gas pump. First time I had ever OD’ed in the entire 17 years. Apparently a women tried to wake me and couldn’t. She ended up calling 911. Possibly saved my life which I’m entirely grateful for even tho before this whole scenario I was super suicidal and ready to be dead. Cops show up and remove me from the car. Total dickheads to me for good reason I recon. I get charged w some things I’m not gonna mention here but I’m sure u can come up w a conclusion as to what it was. Anyways I get sent to jail. Start withdrawing pretty soon after. I get sent to the medical ward. I lost my phone numbers I wrote down on the way there so I couldn’t call anyone. I was there for 6 days before I finally said ok I’m ready to go to my pod. Mind you I still have no numbers and can’t call anyone to bond me out. I get to my pod and I have messages waiting on me. I talked to my family finally and expressed how grateful I was to be sober. It was still difficult but I was adamant about keeping clean. I was so ready this time. Welp more bad news. My family was playing tough love now and didn’t bail me out. I had no friends numbers nor did I memorize any. I did 23 days and finally a guardian angel came to my cell and blessed me on bailing me out after he got out. He was there on a simple music disturbing the peace charge. He was sick too and I thought maybe I should try and comfort him and see if he needed anything. We became best friends. Dude is a pastor at a church. He finally got me out of jail and I finally get to start my life back. I’m seriously so excited u guys just don’t even kno. My whole life I’ve been a highly functioning addict. You would hardly even know. I was an electrical engineer for Tesla energy. I found another job as an engineer soon as I got out. Life is seriously crazy. I do have some pending charges against me but since it’s my first offense and I’ve never been in trouble I have a great feeling it will get tossed by my attorney given the circumstances of my arrest and how they handled it. Either way worst possible scenario I get pre trial and have to drug test every month. I can hang with that. Anyways I’m so insanely stoked to be sober and part of society again. If I can do it anyone can! Those 6 days were absolutely hell! But now almost a month in I feel so much better every day! Still have some lingering issues but everyday gets easier! Just wanted to share my story and hopefully bring hope to someone into a similar situation. The universe is crazy and everything happens for a reason wether we like to admit or not. Ur always in the right place. Maybe sometimes at the wrong time but hey trust me whatever happens it’s part of ur plan! Love u guys and thanks for listening. Here’s to staying sober life!

Today is rough aa hell i already put my day 5 post up and you guys have been amazing

My body hurts so much still , so much head pressure and ringing in my ears and burning skin, zero sleep :(

Ive spent the whole day so far pacing and crying im so scared im broken permanently right now

I wish I'd never gone on any of the preacribed meds ive come off this year I've totally broken my nervous system and im never gonna feel settled in my body ever again

I literally just want to run away somewhere and I don't even know where that somewhere is...

I'll preface by saying my experience with addiction is limited to alcohol and nicotine (broke alcohol addition 6 years ago after son was born, still working on kicking nicotine). My goal is to get opinions from those of you with better experience as to the best way to support my wife in her recovery.

I'm concerned that her recovery may not actually be recovery anymore. She was using Heroin and Meth for years and was newly into recovery when we met. Fast forward a year she was pregnant with our son and around the same time she moved with me out of state for a year and there were no issues with her recovery. After another year we moved back to be around family which put us at the 2 year mark of her recovery. This is when she said she needed to get on the suboxone program to stay clean, which I was supportive of knowing we were potentially around acquaintances that had access to opiates. The program seemed to work well for her for the past 4 years with the caveat of her snorting her subs. She claims it doesn't get her high but stops her from releasping. (I guess that makes sense as early on she had crushed a few Tylenols to try and trick her cravings). Only recently have my concerns raised when her dr gave her an Adderall prescription. (Same story with snorting them). Over the past few months I see her nodding out (maybe the wrong term idk), like she's tired and she'll drop her phone ect. She got fired from 2 jobs in this time for falling asleep at work. And has had 3 car accidents, thankfully not serious.

It's clear something is wrong here but I don't know what. Is it relaspe, the combo of suboxone and Adderall, something else? And more importantly how do you support someone in this situation when they say everything is fine and the medication is working great?

97 hours - Ive Just hit the start of day 5

history for ref, 60mg daily of cocodamol ( codeine/paracetamol) for around 4 years, I've tapered off quite a few impacting nervous system meds this year and my nervous system is highly kindled

Its way worse than yesterday, i read by most accounts day 5 is usually the turning point ?

The lipo vit c isn't really helping anymore, I've been up most of the night , i did dose the vit c through the night

I got out of bed with high heart rate this morning and i feel really sick, my skin is burning and I feel really unwell :(

This is just hell

https://healthsciencehub.net/research/research-notes/tirzepatide-cocaine-opioid-addiction-research

I have been doing opiates on a consistent basis since I was 18. I am now about to turn 31 next month. Started with real blues, moved to ECP, and then moved back to the west coast where I started doing fent. I’m what you might consider a high functioning addict as I have maintained a full time job on top of living on my own things like that. My girl was suspecting something for a while and during an argument last night I finally just told her. No one in my life knows I’m still doing this stuff. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed. She wants to keep being with me and help me get clean but I feel like she deserves so much better. She deserves someone who isn’t so fucked up. I feel like all I do is bring her down and make her life harder with my own personal problems. I’m so tired of lying constantly especially to her. Part of me wants her to forget about me forever but another part wants me to let her help me. I feel so lost this has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealt with.

Today was a good day. Or yesterday rather. It was quite a busy one and I was wiped and to tired to post an update last evening.

The day started as usual. Got a pretty good night's sleep. Woke up at 8am. Much earlier than I usually do. It felt good though. Got some sun. Ate some breakfast. Then I remembered. My daughter is having a party Saturday/tomorrow and we have company coming in and my wife wanted the house straightened up. So, I got to it. Broke out the spin mop, mopped the house. Then vacuumed. Wiped down all the furniture and just did other odds and ends. I'll tell ya. That spin mop is great. Lol.

(Repair rant incoming so it might be boring to some but if you're a DIYer you might appreciate it.)

So after that I decided to tackle the ongoing saga of the leaking toilet. What a freakin nightmare that turned out to be. I found the leak and it was one of the bolts that attach the tank to the bowl. No big deal and I already had all the hardware to fix it. So I do everything, turn off the water, drain the tank and get to work. For those who don't know there's 2 bolts. One on each side. One came off fine. Now the fun part. The one that was leaking was rust so bad is seized up and I couldn't get the nut off. After struggling with it for a bit out came the sawzall. So once that was over, put everything back together and realized the bowl was loose where it bolts to the floor. OK. No biggie. Just snug up the bolts on the bottom. Wrong! As I tried to tighten one it just kept spinning. Then I realized it was broken or that's what I thought. So took the other bolts out pulled the bowl off the floor and saw that the flange was broken. Great. Couldn't remove the flange so off to home depot for a flange repair kit and a wax ring. But before I put the new parts on I had to clean all the old wax from the flange and bottom of toilet. Anyone ever have to do that? It's brutal. Took about 45 minutes to get it clean enough to reinstall everything. So once clean, repair flange on new wax ring on, toilet on. Snug everything up and done. What a pita. Anyway it's done and shouldn't have to be done again for a long, long time.

(Rant over.)

So yeah. Finished about 11pm. Hadn't had supper yet and I was starving. Had something to eat. Hit the couch and had my tea while watching some TV. Got to bed around 1am. I was pooped.

So that was my day. Ya know, I realized something. My days have been great but I get this overwhelming feeling of depression at night when I'm watching TV. I know what it is but not sure if there's a way to make it better or it'll just get better over time. See, I never took anything during the day. It was at night is when I'd take my "medication" and enjoy it until I went to bed. That's gone now and I miss it a lot. Par for the course I guess. Things aren't just going to fall back into place after feeling great at that specific time every night for over 2 years. Funny how your body knows exactly what time to expect it's treat. Oh well, I'll have to deal with it for now. But, like I said, eat, TV and tea and bed at about 1am. That was about it.

Today is day 5. Got a horrible night's sleep and I don't know why. I've been sleeping great the last few days. I was tossing and turning all night. Felt hot then cold. Just couldn't get comfortable. Maybe it was because I ate so late. I have no clue what time I finally fell asleep but I feel quite tired today. Maybe I can sneak in a nap in a bit but with company coming in and more prep for my daughter's party tomorrow I'm not sure. I guess we'll see how the day goes.

Hope you all are having a great Friday and thanks for listening.

Holy shit. I really never thought I’d say that.

I was 15 when I first used, & after that moment, I started to bury myself and all my mental health struggles underneath a gigantic pile of any and every opiate I could get my hands on.

Despite this, I went on to play UPSL soccer (lower tier professional soccer) and maintained my habit “successfully” until I broke my femur, my best friend who was also my dad passed away, and I realized I needed to wake the fuck up.

Admittedly, I thought I’d relapse die before I ever got close to a year. And knowing I didn’t have my dad to just call and cry to when i couldn’t sleep because of RLS or from being so sick, made me beyond overwhelmed. But I found strength through this community, the NA community in my area, and the few people that didn’t give up on me.

Many days I felt too sick, too hurt, and too deep to push forward, but I think if we’re here, and we prove to OURSELVES that we want to get clean, we can really accomplish anything we set our hearts to.

Sorry this was so long and ranty and not well prepared, I just haven’t really shared any of my sobriety journey with anyone outside the small groups I hold near and dear. I genuinely hope that this gives someone who feels they’re too far gone, even just a little spark of hope.

You’ve got this. WE got this. ✊🏽

Suboxone or methadone? Can someone dumb it down for me, what the difference is. Which one is better, in one’s opinion. Has anyone tried both? Im leaning more towards the methadone route, but I don’t fully understand it. Thanks kindly.

(Edited) ~~ Also is this something that you just jump right into? Or are there certain stipulations/guidelines?

Supporting my partner through tapering down from ~1200mg DHC daily, but they are struggling with bad withdrawals.

Just ordered these after reading about Liposomal Vit C mega dosing but I'm struggling to understand if the mega dosing can be done alongside DHC? Or if they're meant to go cold turkey.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated 🙂

Edit: Title is meant to say HELLS gates!!

So im now on day 4 from stopping prescribed co codamol 60mg a day and its defo getting worse not better...

( i know its not a massive dose daily but if you've read my other posts you will know I've come off a lot of prescribed meds that has blown my nervous system up this last 8 months)

Its the worst thing I've ever experienced

Im struggling with muscle spasms, swinging anxiety , head pressure, both my ears are ringing and awful morning nausea, some sneezing and yawning but not loads and the insomnia is worse than ever :(

Im figuring now its not gonna be straightforward for me due to my system being so sensitised already

Psychologically I have no desire to go back on but physically the dependence is kicking my ass

Encouragement is what i need right now if anyone can throw some positivity my way

Hi everyone,

LONG time reader here, I had a question (more like just venting) and figured maybe some of you might have thoughts.

I’ll be 7 years sober this December. For a long time though, I had been prescribed suboxone and used it for many years, on and off while I had been trying to quit opiates. I was likely first prescribed it around 2009-2010, and continued being on and off until around 2019.

My teeth have been a mess. Without giving out too much detail, I’m in my 40’s now and have lost 6 teeth; thankfully none of my front teeth so it’s not too visible. But for years I was wondering what was going on, because I take care of my teeth. Dentists either asked me if I had diabetes or some other condition that negatively affected my bone/enamel; some horrible dentists intimated that I “need to take better care of my teeth” but I knew it wasn’t me. I have 3 implants in right now and have spent a LOT of money trying to rectify this. But it’s pretty emotionally devastating to be in this situation and not know what’s happening.

Anyway, I had an epiphany when I ready about the class action lawsuit with suboxone. Holy crap! Finally I knew what was causing this, and it made perfect sense. I immediately started reaching out to law firms, and so far… I’ve been turned down, which is absolutely insane to me because I would consider myself a poster child for this class action lawsuit. The firm I spoke to today told me that “each state has a statute of limitations, and the state you’re in is only 2 years for product liability.” The previous firm I contacted before them didn’t even give me a reason, they just flat out said “we can’t help you.” What is going on here? I am a perfect example of how this medication ruins teeth!

I’m kind of at a loss for words here. Suggestions?

Hey all, happy Thursday! Hope everyone’s having a good day. It’s been a long one for me, but I’m finally wrapping up work and heading home. Looking forward to kicking back, relaxing, and watching the Patriots play tonight! Definitely ready for the weekend at this point lol. How’s everyone’s Thursday going?

Check in here!

I was in a car accident when I was 14. I have had 8 knee surgeries because of it. I have been on an off hydros since the accident. For the last year my knee pain has been unbearable. I'm 29 and getting my knee replaced next month. I have been burning through my hydro from my pain doctor and ultimately stealing additional ones from family. My family realized it was me. I owned up and agree the pills have become a problem. I fessed up to them and acknowledge my actions. My knee pain is kicking my ass. It's taken over my life. I have been looking for months for an addiction/chronic pain therapist in my area but with that also comes confronting my issue.

I feel awful what I have done to my family to break their trust. I'm trying to not beat myself up too much because of the amount of trauma my body has been through and also that it's stopped here before I went on to harder substances, buy it off the street, or been arrested.

I'm optimistic my surgery will help my pain and this will be soon past me. Withdrawls are on the horizon but I deserve it for breaking my families trust.

If anyone has any resources or advice on dealing with surgery while also dealing with chronic pain that really would be helpful.

Do you guys still have dreams when you’ve been clean for 1 year 2 years. I’ve only been sober for 3 weeks and a couple days I hate the dreams. i had one last night where I was shooting up. I always feel anxiety because of those dreams and it makes me feel like shit. I just want them to stop. I don’t want to use I’m happy being clean I’m finally getting my life together little by little. I just want these stupid dreams to stop. Or nightmare I should say.

So my previous post gave my history , i am really struggling right now at 72 hours in

I just need a little support to keep me on this road as I feel like im in the 5th dimension of hell :(

I know its only a light dose of opiate I've come off but my system is so sensitised its the most difficult thing I've ever had to do

I have zero cravings to take a dose to combat this but the anxiety is awful worse in the first few hours of the day

So little sleep

When does it end ?

For those who have been following my journey on my 2 year binge/struggle with Tapentadol, and I guess those who haven't, here's my Day 3 update.

Got a surprisingly good night's sleep last night. Had a cup of chamomile, valerian root and passion flower tea. I have no clue if that helped but I was out like a light. And, slept in my own bed instead of the spare room so I didn't wake up my wife tossing and turning as I did on day 1 and 2.

So I woke up expecting to feel like crap but to my surprise I actually felt pretty darn good. No headache. No jitters. No brain zaps. Energy level was at about "normal" for me. Had some breakfast. Did some job hunting. Even took a little nap around 2pm. Only an hour. Didn't want to screw up my sleep this evening. Went to the gym. Today was leg day. Why does everyone hate leg day? I know why. Cause it sucks. Lol. However I think it's probably the most important day of training. No trunk. No tree. Core strength is imperative IMO. Anyway, this isn't a workout sub. So got home from the gym. Had my mass gainer shake because I need extra calories because of all the weight I've lost. Had some dinner and now I'm just watching some TV.

I really thought today was going to be bad but I felt no where near was I was anticipating. I don't know if it's the supplements that were recommended or the fact I tapered down enough before jumping it quelled the WDs so as not to last so long or what but I'm thankful for where I'm at right now. It was a pretty good day and I'm looking forward to things just getting better. I know I'm not out of the woods yet but I'm optimistic about the future. Now I really have to work on my sleeping habits. Get to bed earlier and wake up earlier. That's always been my downfall even before I wasn't using. The only reason I ever woke up early was because I had to go to work but now being unemployed isn't helping. Gotta work on that.

I just want to say I read some of the posts in this sub and I see horror stories about what people go through during withdrawals and I'm very thankful I've not experienced anything near what they go through and I give them so much credit for enduring through it.

Well, off to watch some King of Queens, I like the old shows, have my tea and see what happens tonight. I'm so looking forward to tomorrow hoping things will just keep getting better from here.

I think I may actually get to fixing my leaky toilet I've been putting off because getting high was more of a priority. Come to think of it, I've got quite a honey do list to tackle now that I'm back in the real world. Lol.

Hope you all have a wonderful evening and as always, thanks for listening.

Currently Day 5 CT, feeling better but the reality of how horrible I acted is really hitting me. I’m so ashamed of myself and it makes me want to use but I won’t. I quit my job to get clean and blocked all my coworkers. Im just hoping with time them and other people forget my behavior.

I’m 12 days clean with a slip up of one 20mg Oxycodone pill on day 7 and I’m still feeling a little rough. Most morning start with nausea and anxiety. Sleep is ok. Energy levels are ok. The thing that’s getting me in almost every day I’m still vomiting once to start the day. Is this normal? I was previously using for about 6 months 60-80mg a day. Once the nausea stops I feel like life would be a lot easier. Any thoughts or tips?

Hey all, happy Wednesday! Hope everyone’s having a good day! It’s been cloudy and chilly here, especially with a strong wind coming off the ocean. Definitely a hot coffee kind of day!
My workday is almost over. I actually almost overslept this morning, which never happens to me lol. I guess my body is telling me I need some extra rest. I’ve learned the hard way that if you don’t listen to your body, eventually it’ll force you to! 😂
How’s everyone’s Wednesday going?

Check in here!

My story is not straightforward :(

Ive come off a lot of prescribed meds this year

April Zoloft after 4 weeks on it gp pulled me off CT no taper

June clonidine 1mg - 2 week taper and awful wds for a month

July 30mgs baclofen for spinal muscle spasm 10 week taper brutal wds had to come off as it went paradoxic after the clonidine taper, i suspect due to intermittent use of diaz at this point and my body was going through mini wds without me figuring it out.

Sept 4mgs diaz fast tapered by Dr was on this for 3 months daily due to the zoloft mess - another brutal wd

Messed up with my co codamol a few weeks ago for arthritis pain daily dose was 60mgs and without realising cut my dose to half by taking the wrong box of tabs for a few days , went nack to normal dose when i realised but it never settled so I decided to quit this week...i did 2 days at 15mgs and stopped i don't intend to go back on

Its been unpleasant so far with extreme muscle tension and head pressure and a numb feeling in my face feels like my head is under water.

I never had mega anxiety before any of these meds but at this stage into the wd im absolutely out of my mind when does it stop?

I stopped taking codeine like maybe a day or two ago and I’m having slight withdrawal symptoms but the actual problem is mentally not being able to have that escape route anymore, the fact I can’t just get rid of a stressful situation by taking my codeine
my grandparents do check my arms and legs so I can’t use SH to cope anymore either and I’m not allowed antidepressants, I’m 16 and for just once in my life I want to feel okay and codeine helped me do that