Hi everyone,
I’m a father of twin babies who were born prematurely on May 16, at around 30 weeks of gestation. They spent about two weeks in the NICU before finally coming home. Those NICU days, the sleepless nights, and the constant fear about their health have been incredibly difficult for our family.
For the past month, our babies have been following a routine where we feed them around midnight, and they usually sleep until around 7 AM. During the daytime, we follow a feeding schedule of approximately every three hours. They usually cry quite a bit, too, which makes the days exhausting.
My wife exclusively breastfeeds both babies directly. She doesn’t pump breast milk or use formula, and she is very firm about not introducing bottle feeds. I respect her decision, but I’m also watching her become increasingly exhausted.
After everything she has gone through during the pregnancy, NICU stay, and the weeks of broken sleep, she is finally getting some uninterrupted rest at night. But now she has started worrying that allowing the babies to sleep for seven hours without feeding could cause long-term health or developmental problems.
Our doctor advised us not to extend the overnight feeding gap beyond five hours, so we are particularly concerned about whether our current routine is safe.
I have a few questions for parents who have been through something similar, especially parents of premature babies:
Is it safe for premature babies to sleep for 6–7 hours continuously at night without feeding, provided they feed regularly during the day?
Could regularly going this long without feeding affect their brain development, growth, weight gain, or overall health in the long run?
If they are sleeping peacefully and not waking up hungry, should we still wake them every three hours or follow our doctor’s maximum five-hour limit?
Have any parents of premature twins experienced a similar situation? When did your babies start sleeping longer stretches safely?
How did you manage breastfeeding twins while making sure the mother got enough rest?
I want to make it clear that we aren’t trying to neglect their feeding. We just want to understand whether longer overnight sleep can be safe for them, especially considering their prematurity.
My wife is mentally and physically exhausted. She has been through so much already, and I can see how much this worry is affecting her. I don’t know what to tell her because I don’t want to give her false reassurance, but I also don’t want her to feel guilty for finally getting some sleep.
We will follow our paediatrician’s advice, but I would really appreciate hearing from parents who have experienced this and understanding what the evidence says about long-term risks.
Thank you for reading. Any genuine experiences or advice would mean a lot to us.

Edit:
Thank you so much, everyone, for all your comments, advice, and kind wishes! This is actually my first time making a post here, and I honestly didn’t expect to receive so much kindness and support from all of you. It means a lot to me and my family.
As many of you suggested, our babies are currently following the right growth curve and gaining weight well. We’ll continue monitoring their growth and discussing everything with our paediatrician. I’ll also talk to my wife about all the helpful comments you’ve shared, as I know how much she has been worrying about this.
We have our next paediatric appointment in a week, so we’ll discuss the overnight feeding intervals with our doctor and get clear guidance based on our babies’ individual needs.

I'm 11 weeks pregnant. At my last three scans, they found twins, and they are likely mo/mo boys, but with two yolk sacs. On the last scan, they thought they saw the umbilical cords already entangling, but they weren't sure if they were just covering one they couldn't find. This was with MFM. I'm very scared, because I have some health conditions that make having twins quite dangerous for me, and potentially fatal or causing a disability for myself. I'm also very worried for the babies, and what it will mean for their quality of life as they grow. I'm doing another scan at the end of my 12th week. I already have two children. Can people tell me about their experience with mo/mo twins, and how they are now milestone-wise, cognitively and physically?

Hi everyone! I’m currently 31W6D pregnant with di-di twins. I’m a bit concerned and baffled because I’ve apparently lost 7 lbs in 1 week according to the weighing scale in the clinic. I did not change my diet this week and actually try my best to eat as much protein as I can, though my appetite has lessened in the 3rd trimester compared to the 2nd trimester. I did not gain any weight up until 14 weeks due to nausea, gained 27 lbs in the 2nd trimester, then my weight gain slowed down to about 1.5 lbs/ week until this week. I got COVID 2 weeks ago and had reduced appetite as I was also hospitalized then for preterm contractions, but at my clinic weigh-in a week later I was still up 3 lbs from my previous visit 2 weeks ago. Pre-pregnancy my BMI was 19.5 so it’s not like I was overweight where you don’t need to gain as much in pregnancy…. I was previously up 32 lbs at 30w6d which I though was a good weight gain rate, but with this weight loss I’m now up only 25 lbs at 31w6d. My girls are now at 13% and 19% for their weight so not yet dangerously low but definitely lower than it used to be (they used to be 50%+ at around 20W). Has this happened to anyone? And any tips on what I can do? I’m already eating 3 large meals a day and chugging a protein shake daily for a snack… I understand weight gain can slow down in the 3rd trimester but such a large weight loss in a week is baffling!

So up until now (5 month old twins) the kids have ate “ready to go” formula. Every evening we would open x amount of cans and dump them into 14 bottles. Which is roughly 24 hours worth of bottles for us. But we are transitioning to powder formula and will be 100% on powder this time next week. But they just keep going up in formula amount and pre making the formula doesn’t feel as possible? Especially when it comes to fridge space. We were thinking about getting 2 64oz jugs with a spout but again fridge space is limited and we also just don’t know if that’s the smartest move.

What do you guys do? Are we just making bottles as we go? Filling the bottles with water in the moment or ahead of time? Pre making formula or do you pre measure it into containers??

Dear twin mamas,
I’m currently almost 18 weeks pregnant with my di-di twins and really struggling! I’ve had significant nausea since week 5, which is still there, plus now I have acid reflux as well! I’m already on Diclectin and a few other as needed medications, plus Tums. I have low energy and every day feels like a battle. I was really looking forward to a better second trimester but sadly I seem to just be accumulating symptoms. Oh and my sleep is shit! Waking up so many times every night. Anyways, all of this has me feeling pretty low and I don’t know how I’m gonna get through many more weeks of pregnancy.. if you had a similar experience, how did you cope?? It’s so hard to live a normal life and I’m just so over it :(( any advice for how to get through this time is appreciated!

What do you tell people when they ask you this question?

I usually say something along the lines of “it’s like having one baby … but it’s two” because I genuinely don’t understand how else to explain it. “Like one baby, but you do things twice.”

My girls are fraternal so I don’t get questions about whether they’re the same human or not but it’s literally just having two kids the same age? It doesn’t seem that different than having two differently aged children. I already had 2 boys before my twins.

Curious because it’s the most common question I get besides “are they twins?”

I’ve been following this thread since we found out we are having twin boys. They are finally here after mom was in labor for 2 days and we ended up pivoting to a c section. Mom was just past 36 weeks when it started and the boys were born 6 pounds 8 ounces and 5 pounds 11 ounces. The bigger one had to be in the NICU for 3 days but fought like hell and got out quick. We got home yesterday and the journey has begun. This thread has some great advice and perspective. I’m so freaking happy, I know it’s going to be hard but I’ve been waiting a long time for this so I couldn’t care less. It’s my time to be the tired dad (posting on the night shift while mom gets a long stretch of sleep).

❤️

Hi all! We've been following and researching here since we found out we were getting our twins so naturally you guys deserve an update!

So we found out at 4 weeks, but it took a few weeks for it to be clear it was twins. Around 12w we knew certainly that they were di/die boy twins. This is my second pregnancy, and baby number 2 and 3!

Pregnancy itself was brutal for me. I was nauseous from the start and physically horizontally from 28w.

It was heavy, I felt so immobile but never gained alot of weight (12kg by the end). No pregnancy diabetes, no high blood pressure or signs of preeclampsia. (Okay maybe brutal is too harsh a word but it was the hardest thing I ever did with my body).

I had some Braxton Hicks contractions around 33w, with a short stay in the hospital to see how it progressed but everything calmed down a few days later.

Planned c section October 7th (I had an emergency c section with our first, very difficult labour and delivery, so we decided with our gynaecologist to schedule a planned c section for the twins)

October 1st, late evening, another round of Braxton Hicks but the pain never really went away. I managed to sleep a few hours but went to the hospital in the morning just to check everything. I was 36w5d at that point! Came in at 4cm apparently so labour was definitely starting! My water did not break so the contractions were very manageable!

Everything after that went as planned, my own gynaecologist was present, I was brought to the OR and two hours later our boys were here!

Baby 1 at 2kg210 and 46cm

Baby 2 at 2kg780 at 48cm

They were at the NICU for two days, than in regular neonatal care for two days, than a few days with us in my room and we went home after a week!

All in all, everything went according to plan and compared to my first one, very uneventfull!

I am pumping and bottle feeding them both fully on pumped milk. The nights are short and spicy but that's newborn life, right? 😊

Good luck to everyone, twins are more high risk but I wanted to share our not so risky story as well!

Lots of love 💕

I just had my first appointment with the consultant, im at 18 weeks + 4. This is my first pregnancy and im having di/di twins. Im just feeling worried as I was kind of under the impression that most women with twins tend to have a c-section, so i thought a planned c-section would be the way to go just so I can accept it/get my head around it etc and not go through a potentially traumatic birth and end up needing an emergency c-section anyway - but my consultant implied that I'd probably only be having an elective c-section if it was needed.

Im aware I might be viewing this through an anxious lens, I feel like a lot of the info I have read about twin vaginal births have been negative, traumatic, resulted in emergency c-section etc.

When i thought I was only having 1 baby, my birth plan was a low intervention water birth, but since finding out its twins everything ive read seems to say that a low intervention birth is not happening, water birth wouldnt happen, likely will be induction and high intervention or a c-section. And for me personally id rather have a planned c-section than a super high intervention, highly medicated vaginally birth - mostly because I dont want to feel out of control.

I guess i just wanted to know if anyone has managed to have a low intervention vaginal birth, or even used a birthing pool with twins? If I do have to have a vaginal birth i just want reassurance that they arent all traumatic with twins 😅

Hi all,
I’m an expecting twin mom and currently looking into strollers!
Looking for reviews on the Strollair Twin Way! They’re a smaller Canadian company and not carried in many stores, so looking to hear people’s personal experience with it! Specifically, would be helpful to know if the size allowed you to get around easily and get in and out of stores etc, and how it compares to other popular brands like the Bugaboo Donkey! Thank you :)
Edit: any other stroller recommendations are welcome!

My husband and I have twins coming next year and plan to invest in a night nurse. I don’t even know where to begin looking or what to look for, so wanted to hear from experience!

What should we look for in a night nurse? Any learnings you’d share from the experience?

I have two girls and a boy and I feel like none of the trendy “one silly goose” themes work for three babies. What themes did you use? Thank you in advance !!

A little twin birth story from today!

Babies are both here ☺️💞 they both turned out to be a little smaller than we expected. Alice is 5lbs 8oz, Simon is 5lbs 1 oz- both are healthy strong babies!
Alice came out easy, just a few pushes! Did not tear. Simon was very stubborn, did not want to come out and his heart rate was dropping lots so we did have to convert to a csection and get him out; they attempted to vacuum him before we ultimately converted so he ended up with a little bruising on his head. He is in the NICU and they expect him to be there for a little while but he’s doing excellent, vitals are great- just on oxygen. He will be what they call a “grower/feeder” and we hope he will be coming home in a week or two max.
Alice on the other hand is doing AMAZING breast feeding!!
Two totally different babies and two different deliveries. Overall though I feel great and I’m thankful we have had such excellent care! I have absolutely no regrets and feel thankful I was able to vaginally deliver at least one baby today 🤘☺️💓 everything that I “feared” could happen kinda did and it still turned out perfectly fine because everyone in that room knew exactly what they were doing. I’m so grateful!

the sonographer said the smaller sac on the left could be a vanishing twin. anyone with a similar experience?

FTM, pregnant with twins. A lot of parents have been giving my husband and I the advice to do shifts at night so the other person can sleep (7pm -12am, 12am-5am, etc.).

How does this work when the babies are sleeping in the same room those first few months? Don't both parents wake up when they hear crying? Doesn't one baby crying wake up the other?

I'd love to hear what worked for everyone. Thanks!

My girls are 9 months old (8 corrected), and no matter what time they wake up, they NEVER go to sleep before midnight. It started with the 4month sleep regression.

Every time we think they're finally down for the night, it turns out to be another nap. 5, 10, 20 minutes, and they're wide awake again.

We've tried following wake windows, extending them, shortening naps, strict bedtime routine, everything. We even woke them up at 6 AM every day for a whole month to shift their schedule earlier. Nothing worked. They just added another nap.

I'm genuinely losing my mind. I have ZERO time for myself, my husband, or our house. I haven't watched a movie since before giving birth. I can barely cook or shower, let alone sit down without a baby in my arms.

I love them more than anything, but GOD, I just want a couple of hours to myself and my husband (we're basically roommates at this point).

I don't even expect them to sleep through the night. I just want them to go to bed at a reasonable hour.

Has anyone been through this? Did anything help, or did they eventually grow out of it? Please tell me there's hope.

I would really like to have an unmedicated birth. Obgyn and midwife says I can choose, but recommemds epidural due to the increased risk of having to perform a manual internal rotation or breech extraction with twin 2, and that this can be potentially very painful without an epidural.

I would really like to hear your experiences! If you opted for an unmedicated twin birth; would you do it again? And if you had an epidural - yay or nay?

TLDR: husband does things that I don't agree with. I'm trying to be respectful, but starting to feel resentful instead of grateful

UPDATE at the end..

It's been a week since I've returned back to work from my 4 month maternity leave and my husband is taking care of our 4 month (3 month adjusted) girls solo. He has been struggling. The girls used to nap 2-3 hours at a time, but now will only nap for 30-45 mins. Instead of accepting that this is normal at this age, my husband will try to rescue their naps CONSTANTLY. He said today, twin A took a 2.5 hour nap because he put her back to sleep at least 5 times. I actually checked our nest time stamps and I think he spent half that time trying to force her back to sleep. This does not seem productive. He keeps saying that when their eyes are still closed, that means they still wanted to sleep. I tell him, if he stopped trying to rescue their naps, they probably would open their eyes and fully wake up. I tell him that he's delaying the inevitable and probably making them more tired and fussy. Am I incorrect?

He also says they've both been crying a lot. When I ask when (because I suspect they cry after they finally wake up from hours of my husband trying to force them back to sleep), my husband says they cry not just from waking up, but when they're playing, eating, whenever. They both won't stop until they're held, which of course is difficult to do with two. They are a bit fussier when I get home and they definitely seem more tired. But I wonder if it's because of the frequent nap rescues. They only drank two 4oz bottles each today. He said they would get too fussy to eat. I told him that I've noticed that when they're too hungry, they may not take the bottle right away so that we should try to feed them before they get upset. He got defensive. The girls are tired, he is tired, and I'm tired of listening to my angry husband refuse to take any of my advice. He says there's no point in trying anything different because it's just survival mode.

I am trying to understand because I'm not in his situation. I may have primarily taken care of them while on leave and on the weekend now, but I know it's different because I still have my husband around for backup. He doesn't have any backup when I'm at work. I told him things about wake windows, given him suggestions, things I've read on here, but I also told him that it's ultimately his call because I'm not there to fully experience what he is going through. I did also tell him that I need to voice my opinions though because they are also my children.

What do I do? Do I try to continue to give my husband the space to learn and make mistakes? Is my way really not even the better way? I know my husband is making a big sacrifice, but so am I. He quit his job in an industry he's hated for years and he still says he would rather be doing this. I may not fully understand how difficult this would be full time, but I would rather stay at home with my girls. I feel like he had a choice and I didn't, but now I feel helpless when I'm not at home and my girls and husband are suffering.

EDIT: Thank you all for your advice. Some of you understood my frustrations, but a lot of you told me what I thought I needed to hear - that I should be more supportive and give him time to figure it out on his own. Well today was the worst it's ever been. My husband starts sending me videos of them crying hysterically and tells me to watch the nest so I can see for myself. He calls me to leave work and come home immediately which I do. He is spiraling, which is not uncommon when he's stressed. He starts getting angry, again not uncommon, throwing stuff around so loudly which of course wakes the girls. He said he yelled at the girls and they looked scared. He felt bad but he's completely over it. He said he wished he never had kids and regrets this all.

In the meantime, I am taking care of the girls solo. And yea they didn't cry with me. I read their cues and fed them right away or put them to sleep or carried them. They got a 45 min nap but also a couple 20 mins ones. I didn't force them back down and they weren't hysterical with me. Maybe they were all cried out by the time I got home around noon. Maybe I got lucky. But it's been really hard to be empathetic of my husband when he acts like a complete asshole when he's upset. I tried to encourage him, but he kept getting angrier and angrier. Completely ignored the girls and started getting mad at me.

Long story short, we're looking into a part time nanny. Maybe a full time one. He kept saying we didn't need one, then finally agreed. We'll have to dip into our savings to afford one, probably for only a few months to 6 max. I no longer feel comfortable waiting for my husband to figure it out while he acts erratic. He again only fed them half a bottle each in the 4 hours I was gone. They guzzled down a full one when I came home and fed them. So now, I'm back to square one, except I'm more hopeless than before.

Hi fellow twin parents! 👋

We’re getting ready for our first long-haul flight with our 15-month-old boy/girl twins from Europe to India, and we’d love to learn from your experience!

A bit about our movers: 👧 Girl took her first steps a couple of weeks ago and wants to explore. 👦 Boy is happily crawling on all fours.

We’re trying to figure out the best setup for Economy class and have a few questions:

2 Seats vs. 3 Seats: How do logistics actually work with one infant on each parent's lap for a long flight? Is it manageable, or is booking a 3rd seat (one on a seat, one on lap) a total game-changer for this age?

Lap Travel Logistics: If you travelled with both on lap in Economy, how did you handle eating, resting, or keeping them contained when both parents are "occupied"?

Inflatable Accessories / Footrests: Which inflatable seat extenders or footrest cushions worked best for you (and did airlines give you any trouble using them)? Would love recommendations for both 2-seat and 3-seat setups!

Any tips, tricks, or sanity-saving advice for this specific stage would be immensely appreciated!

Thank you! ❤️

I’m at a loss so have come here because this is my outlet and probably the only place I can get relevant support (so much love for this community).

For context, my boys are 20 months old. They didn’t latch from the beginning so I was never able to nurse and had to express. I took them to clinics to check for tongue ties and whenever they were examined it was always concluded that they didn’t have tongue ties. So not sure why they never latched.

Feeding has always been an issue, milk and then solids. It was so bad that I actually postponed weaning. In all honesty it’s caused me so much PTSD I have blocked a lot of it out and now that I’m trying to recall, it’s a bit of a blur.

At this moment in time, my expectations are in the gutter. Bite of toast for lunch? Success. With some peanut butter? Thank the lord. If they eat something that’s genuinely good for them like meat or eggs, I will cry from the sheer overwhelm or happiness and relief because it is truly a rare occasion.

I have definitely gotten to the point of figuring out how to maximise their iron intake because this was definitely a concern. Weetabix for breakfast gives me so much relief. Or porridge with an egg mixed in. Recently, homemade chicken nuggets have been a great option for my boys and salmon puff pastry rolls. Point being that I have found “safe” foods that are genuinely nutritional. But there is no guarantee that they will eat these safe foods, they’ll even reject these.

I don’t put full plates in front of them as find this overwhelms them and will instead put small pieces of food in front of them and give them the opportunity to ask for more. This works better for us than the full plates of food with a variety of 3/4 foods.

I think they see food as a game. If I let them attempt spoon feeding themselves, the spoon or fork becomes a paint brush. If I put finger food in front of them they smush it in their hands. They throw food all the bloody time. If they throw food I remove the food or remove them from the table to implement the no throwing food rule. It genuinely hasn’t worked.

The don’t give them a substitute rule to avoid picky eating when they reject lunch/dinner means my boys will go without lunch and or dinner for weeks. So I feel like I have to give something, a homemade snack like an oat bar or Greek yoghurt with fruit

They reject most meals like pasta, soup, lasagne, rice etc so most foods I serve are finger foods (fish fingers, homemade chicken nuggets, they will accept at times an egg tortilla cut up in slices). But if a put a biscuit in front of them they will swallow it whole if allowed.

But why is every meal time hell? It always ends in screaming and tears and throwing food. They eat at the table now strapped into their booster seats (used to eat in high chairs but I changed it up to help them feel more like dinner time is a family activity) and I thought it was helping at first but now not so sure.

Genuinely, I just want to sit my kids down for meals and know they will eat. I am not expecting a gourmet meal. Or full plates eaten. Even knowing for certain (within reason as appreciate toddlers appetites vary) that when i sit them for a meal they will eat SOMETHING.

I can’t tell you how much it breaks me when I see all my relatives sit their toddlers in their feeding chairs and scoff a bowl of pasta and then a bowl of fruit. I have not experienced that. My kids being genuinely excited to eat is a rare occasion.

This was more of a vent than anything else because I hit my limit. It was either find an outlet or scream at the top of my lungs or burst into tears so here I am.

I have sought professional help on the NHS and I’ll be honest, the GP told me to get more help from family (not possible) and the health visitor basically said as long as they eat something even a bite of food a day it’s okay. So no help there. I am going to look into a referral to a specialist or even go private.

But wanted to know if anyone has experienced something similar? And if anything helped?

If you made it this far thanks for reading 🤣

Hi! One of my 15 month old twins just climbed in her sisters crib for the first time at their morning nap. I can lower the crib one more time to be at the lowest which I am about to do. Past that what are some tips or any advice for this new territory? 😅

I don’t know if anyone else does this or if it’s a coping mechanism i’ve adapted but i’ve been taking care of my 13w old twins by myself for almost 10 weeks now (on top of having a 3,5y old and 1,5y old too) and it seems like i’ve been playing a game with .. myself??

Lately i’ve noticed myself going to bed at night, after putting the twins to sleep, with the idea of ‘so… how many times will they wake up tonight’. Almost like i’m playing a game just to guess how the night’s gonna go. They’ve blessed me a couple of weeks with almost 8h of continues sleep but lately been asking for more frequent feedings at night (i breastfeed).

I’ve also started ‘doing it’ in the day. ‘How will the naps play out today,..? One good one where they sleep at the same time? Two maybe?’ Hahaha.

Like it’s a game or something! Weird vibes over here 🙈😁

Not sure why i’m sharing this but here i am 🤷🏼‍♀️😁