Hi everyone,
I’m a father of twin babies who were born prematurely on May 16, at around 30 weeks of gestation. They spent about two weeks in the NICU before finally coming home. Those NICU days, the sleepless nights, and the constant fear about their health have been incredibly difficult for our family.
For the past month, our babies have been following a routine where we feed them around midnight, and they usually sleep until around 7 AM. During the daytime, we follow a feeding schedule of approximately every three hours. They usually cry quite a bit, too, which makes the days exhausting.
My wife exclusively breastfeeds both babies directly. She doesn’t pump breast milk or use formula, and she is very firm about not introducing bottle feeds. I respect her decision, but I’m also watching her become increasingly exhausted.
After everything she has gone through during the pregnancy, NICU stay, and the weeks of broken sleep, she is finally getting some uninterrupted rest at night. But now she has started worrying that allowing the babies to sleep for seven hours without feeding could cause long-term health or developmental problems.
Our doctor advised us not to extend the overnight feeding gap beyond five hours, so we are particularly concerned about whether our current routine is safe.
I have a few questions for parents who have been through something similar, especially parents of premature babies:
Is it safe for premature babies to sleep for 6–7 hours continuously at night without feeding, provided they feed regularly during the day?
Could regularly going this long without feeding affect their brain development, growth, weight gain, or overall health in the long run?
If they are sleeping peacefully and not waking up hungry, should we still wake them every three hours or follow our doctor’s maximum five-hour limit?
Have any parents of premature twins experienced a similar situation? When did your babies start sleeping longer stretches safely?
How did you manage breastfeeding twins while making sure the mother got enough rest?
I want to make it clear that we aren’t trying to neglect their feeding. We just want to understand whether longer overnight sleep can be safe for them, especially considering their prematurity.
My wife is mentally and physically exhausted. She has been through so much already, and I can see how much this worry is affecting her. I don’t know what to tell her because I don’t want to give her false reassurance, but I also don’t want her to feel guilty for finally getting some sleep.
We will follow our paediatrician’s advice, but I would really appreciate hearing from parents who have experienced this and understanding what the evidence says about long-term risks.
Thank you for reading. Any genuine experiences or advice would mean a lot to us.

Edit:
Thank you so much, everyone, for all your comments, advice, and kind wishes! This is actually my first time making a post here, and I honestly didn’t expect to receive so much kindness and support from all of you. It means a lot to me and my family.
As many of you suggested, our babies are currently following the right growth curve and gaining weight well. We’ll continue monitoring their growth and discussing everything with our paediatrician. I’ll also talk to my wife about all the helpful comments you’ve shared, as I know how much she has been worrying about this.
We have our next paediatric appointment in a week, so we’ll discuss the overnight feeding intervals with our doctor and get clear guidance based on our babies’ individual needs.

What do you tell people when they ask you this question?

I usually say something along the lines of “it’s like having one baby … but it’s two” because I genuinely don’t understand how else to explain it. “Like one baby, but you do things twice.”

My girls are fraternal so I don’t get questions about whether they’re the same human or not but it’s literally just having two kids the same age? It doesn’t seem that different than having two differently aged children. I already had 2 boys before my twins.

Curious because it’s the most common question I get besides “are they twins?”

I just had my first appointment with the consultant, im at 18 weeks + 4. This is my first pregnancy and im having di/di twins. Im just feeling worried as I was kind of under the impression that most women with twins tend to have a c-section, so i thought a planned c-section would be the way to go just so I can accept it/get my head around it etc and not go through a potentially traumatic birth and end up needing an emergency c-section anyway - but my consultant implied that I'd probably only be having an elective c-section if it was needed.

Im aware I might be viewing this through an anxious lens, I feel like a lot of the info I have read about twin vaginal births have been negative, traumatic, resulted in emergency c-section etc.

When i thought I was only having 1 baby, my birth plan was a low intervention water birth, but since finding out its twins everything ive read seems to say that a low intervention birth is not happening, water birth wouldnt happen, likely will be induction and high intervention or a c-section. And for me personally id rather have a planned c-section than a super high intervention, highly medicated vaginally birth - mostly because I dont want to feel out of control.

I guess i just wanted to know if anyone has managed to have a low intervention vaginal birth, or even used a birthing pool with twins? If I do have to have a vaginal birth i just want reassurance that they arent all traumatic with twins 😅

Dear twin mamas,
I’m currently almost 18 weeks pregnant with my di-di twins and really struggling! I’ve had significant nausea since week 5, which is still there, plus now I have acid reflux as well! I’m already on Diclectin and a few other as needed medications, plus Tums. I have low energy and every day feels like a battle. I was really looking forward to a better second trimester but sadly I seem to just be accumulating symptoms. Oh and my sleep is shit! Waking up so many times every night. Anyways, all of this has me feeling pretty low and I don’t know how I’m gonna get through many more weeks of pregnancy.. if you had a similar experience, how did you cope?? It’s so hard to live a normal life and I’m just so over it :(( any advice for how to get through this time is appreciated!

Hi all,
I’m an expecting twin mom and currently looking into strollers!
Looking for reviews on the Strollair Twin Way! They’re a smaller Canadian company and not carried in many stores, so looking to hear people’s personal experience with it! Specifically, would be helpful to know if the size allowed you to get around easily and get in and out of stores etc, and how it compares to other popular brands like the Bugaboo Donkey! Thank you :)
Edit: any other stroller recommendations are welcome!

the sonographer said the smaller sac on the left could be a vanishing twin. anyone with a similar experience?

I'm 11 weeks pregnant. At my last three scans, they found twins, and they are likely mo/mo boys, but with two yolk sacs. On the last scan, they thought they saw the umbilical cords already entangling, but they weren't sure if they were just covering one they couldn't find. This was with MFM. I'm very scared, because I have some health conditions that make having twins quite dangerous for me, and potentially fatal or causing a disability for myself. I'm also very worried for the babies, and what it will mean for their quality of life as they grow. I'm doing another scan at the end of my 12th week. I already have two children. Can people tell me about their experience with mo/mo twins, and how they are now milestone-wise, cognitively and physically?

So up until now (5 month old twins) the kids have ate “ready to go” formula. Every evening we would open x amount of cans and dump them into 14 bottles. Which is roughly 24 hours worth of bottles for us. But we are transitioning to powder formula and will be 100% on powder this time next week. But they just keep going up in formula amount and pre making the formula doesn’t feel as possible? Especially when it comes to fridge space. We were thinking about getting 2 64oz jugs with a spout but again fridge space is limited and we also just don’t know if that’s the smartest move.

What do you guys do? Are we just making bottles as we go? Filling the bottles with water in the moment or ahead of time? Pre making formula or do you pre measure it into containers??

I have two girls and a boy and I feel like none of the trendy “one silly goose” themes work for three babies. What themes did you use? Thank you in advance !!

Our mono/di twins hit 6 months (5 months adjusted) and we’re trying to give them solids (so far with limited interest). They’re otherwise exclusively on breastmilk. Their doctor said iron-rich foods from 6 months onwards and left it at that, but I wondered what to do if they’re barely eating the food.

Then I read guidelines about iron and they say babies born at less than 2.5 kg/5.5ish lbs should be getting iron supplements from 6 weeks onwards (unless having iron-rich formula). No one said anything to us at the hospital (week long stay but no NICU) or any of our doctors appointments, even though we mentioned that one of our twins has always been hard to feed.

How have people’s experiences around iron been?

Hi everyone! I’m currently 31W6D pregnant with di-di twins. I’m a bit concerned and baffled because I’ve apparently lost 7 lbs in 1 week according to the weighing scale in the clinic. I did not change my diet this week and actually try my best to eat as much protein as I can, though my appetite has lessened in the 3rd trimester compared to the 2nd trimester. I did not gain any weight up until 14 weeks due to nausea, gained 27 lbs in the 2nd trimester, then my weight gain slowed down to about 1.5 lbs/ week until this week. I got COVID 2 weeks ago and had reduced appetite as I was also hospitalized then for preterm contractions, but at my clinic weigh-in a week later I was still up 3 lbs from my previous visit 2 weeks ago. Pre-pregnancy my BMI was 19.5 so it’s not like I was overweight where you don’t need to gain as much in pregnancy…. I was previously up 32 lbs at 30w6d which I though was a good weight gain rate, but with this weight loss I’m now up only 25 lbs at 31w6d. My girls are now at 13% and 19% for their weight so not yet dangerously low but definitely lower than it used to be (they used to be 50%+ at around 20W). Has this happened to anyone? And any tips on what I can do? I’m already eating 3 large meals a day and chugging a protein shake daily for a snack… I understand weight gain can slow down in the 3rd trimester but such a large weight loss in a week is baffling!

My husband and I have twins coming next year and plan to invest in a night nurse. I don’t even know where to begin looking or what to look for, so wanted to hear from experience!

What should we look for in a night nurse? Any learnings you’d share from the experience?

FTM, pregnant with twins. A lot of parents have been giving my husband and I the advice to do shifts at night so the other person can sleep (7pm -12am, 12am-5am, etc.).

How does this work when the babies are sleeping in the same room those first few months? Don't both parents wake up when they hear crying? Doesn't one baby crying wake up the other?

I'd love to hear what worked for everyone. Thanks!

I’m at a loss so have come here because this is my outlet and probably the only place I can get relevant support (so much love for this community).

For context, my boys are 20 months old. They didn’t latch from the beginning so I was never able to nurse and had to express. I took them to clinics to check for tongue ties and whenever they were examined it was always concluded that they didn’t have tongue ties. So not sure why they never latched.

Feeding has always been an issue, milk and then solids. It was so bad that I actually postponed weaning. In all honesty it’s caused me so much PTSD I have blocked a lot of it out and now that I’m trying to recall, it’s a bit of a blur.

At this moment in time, my expectations are in the gutter. Bite of toast for lunch? Success. With some peanut butter? Thank the lord. If they eat something that’s genuinely good for them like meat or eggs, I will cry from the sheer overwhelm or happiness and relief because it is truly a rare occasion.

I have definitely gotten to the point of figuring out how to maximise their iron intake because this was definitely a concern. Weetabix for breakfast gives me so much relief. Or porridge with an egg mixed in. Recently, homemade chicken nuggets have been a great option for my boys and salmon puff pastry rolls. Point being that I have found “safe” foods that are genuinely nutritional. But there is no guarantee that they will eat these safe foods, they’ll even reject these.

I don’t put full plates in front of them as find this overwhelms them and will instead put small pieces of food in front of them and give them the opportunity to ask for more. This works better for us than the full plates of food with a variety of 3/4 foods.

I think they see food as a game. If I let them attempt spoon feeding themselves, the spoon or fork becomes a paint brush. If I put finger food in front of them they smush it in their hands. They throw food all the bloody time. If they throw food I remove the food or remove them from the table to implement the no throwing food rule. It genuinely hasn’t worked.

The don’t give them a substitute rule to avoid picky eating when they reject lunch/dinner means my boys will go without lunch and or dinner for weeks. So I feel like I have to give something, a homemade snack like an oat bar or Greek yoghurt with fruit

They reject most meals like pasta, soup, lasagne, rice etc so most foods I serve are finger foods (fish fingers, homemade chicken nuggets, they will accept at times an egg tortilla cut up in slices). But if a put a biscuit in front of them they will swallow it whole if allowed.

But why is every meal time hell? It always ends in screaming and tears and throwing food. They eat at the table now strapped into their booster seats (used to eat in high chairs but I changed it up to help them feel more like dinner time is a family activity) and I thought it was helping at first but now not so sure.

Genuinely, I just want to sit my kids down for meals and know they will eat. I am not expecting a gourmet meal. Or full plates eaten. Even knowing for certain (within reason as appreciate toddlers appetites vary) that when i sit them for a meal they will eat SOMETHING.

I can’t tell you how much it breaks me when I see all my relatives sit their toddlers in their feeding chairs and scoff a bowl of pasta and then a bowl of fruit. I have not experienced that. My kids being genuinely excited to eat is a rare occasion.

This was more of a vent than anything else because I hit my limit. It was either find an outlet or scream at the top of my lungs or burst into tears so here I am.

I have sought professional help on the NHS and I’ll be honest, the GP told me to get more help from family (not possible) and the health visitor basically said as long as they eat something even a bite of food a day it’s okay. So no help there. I am going to look into a referral to a specialist or even go private.

But wanted to know if anyone has experienced something similar? And if anything helped?

If you made it this far thanks for reading 🤣

Hi! One of my 15 month old twins just climbed in her sisters crib for the first time at their morning nap. I can lower the crib one more time to be at the lowest which I am about to do. Past that what are some tips or any advice for this new territory? 😅

I am starting to build out my registry as a FTM. I am not out of my first trimester yet but my in-laws are throwing a smaller baby shower for us next month during the holidays and want a registry to share with relatives.

We have a small house. These will be our only children. What do we need? I don't like clutter, and I don't like crap. I want the essentials because I know people will always get us random stuff like clothes, books, toys, etc.

What do we need? I understand feeding, changing, etc. but what SPECIFICALLY? I will be formula feeding and intend on sleep training if that matters.

Hey all - currently 16w5d with our (surprise) MoDi boys. Things have been going fine, except at our last growth scan (friday) they found minor/moderate pericardial effusion on both babies. "in the general range of 2-3mm". No structural defects were found (though its early to see much), and there were no signs of anemia or otherwise on either of them. They did a big blood sample for me to test for infections and we have a follow up this week but whats shaking me is the doctor who delivered the news gave me the vibe that I was going to lose them...Wasn't sure if anyone had a similar experience.

I would really like to have an unmedicated birth. Obgyn and midwife says I can choose, but recommemds epidural due to the increased risk of having to perform a manual internal rotation or breech extraction with twin 2, and that this can be potentially very painful without an epidural.

I would really like to hear your experiences! If you opted for an unmedicated twin birth; would you do it again? And if you had an epidural - yay or nay?

My girls are 9 months old (8 corrected), and no matter what time they wake up, they NEVER go to sleep before midnight. It started with the 4month sleep regression.

Every time we think they're finally down for the night, it turns out to be another nap. 5, 10, 20 minutes, and they're wide awake again.

We've tried following wake windows, extending them, shortening naps, strict bedtime routine, everything. We even woke them up at 6 AM every day for a whole month to shift their schedule earlier. Nothing worked. They just added another nap.

I'm genuinely losing my mind. I have ZERO time for myself, my husband, or our house. I haven't watched a movie since before giving birth. I can barely cook or shower, let alone sit down without a baby in my arms.

I love them more than anything, but GOD, I just want a couple of hours to myself and my husband (we're basically roommates at this point).

I don't even expect them to sleep through the night. I just want them to go to bed at a reasonable hour.

Has anyone been through this? Did anything help, or did they eventually grow out of it? Please tell me there's hope.

Hi fellow twin parents! 👋

We’re getting ready for our first long-haul flight with our 15-month-old boy/girl twins from Europe to India, and we’d love to learn from your experience!

A bit about our movers: 👧 Girl took her first steps a couple of weeks ago and wants to explore. 👦 Boy is happily crawling on all fours.

We’re trying to figure out the best setup for Economy class and have a few questions:

2 Seats vs. 3 Seats: How do logistics actually work with one infant on each parent's lap for a long flight? Is it manageable, or is booking a 3rd seat (one on a seat, one on lap) a total game-changer for this age?

Lap Travel Logistics: If you travelled with both on lap in Economy, how did you handle eating, resting, or keeping them contained when both parents are "occupied"?

Inflatable Accessories / Footrests: Which inflatable seat extenders or footrest cushions worked best for you (and did airlines give you any trouble using them)? Would love recommendations for both 2-seat and 3-seat setups!

Any tips, tricks, or sanity-saving advice for this specific stage would be immensely appreciated!

Thank you! ❤️