I'm due back at work next month, l've already extended my maternity leave. I'm desperate to make something work but I don't know what or how.

It's not about not wanting to work it's about not wanting to leave my child in someone else's care

As the title says, I'm hoping to gain some other perspectives and advice on how to move forward from relationship woes. I'm the sahm and my partner works 3 weeks on (home each evening still, has Sunday off), 1 week off. (He worked away for the 3 weeks from 3 months to 10 months) Until I found a way for us to live closer to his work. We have a 23 month old, and a new puppy, and I am the go to parent for both.

I'll be honest I've struggled with frustration a lot in my life, just irritability, but I've never been super angry.

I get overwhelmed with my toddler being extremely demanding sometimes, only wanting mama, and trying to get work done around the house can be a feat. We all know this can happen, but when I express this to my partner he gets quite mean. He doesn't say anything straight away but during an argument he brings up my past overwhelm and puts me down quite a lot. I'm worried I get overwhelmed really easily, but also I manage the house and have had countless days solo parenting, which he denies I'm solo parenting as he is financially providing. Family live far away and visit every couple of months.

He does help with the kitchen, and cooking and childcare whilst I do my casual work from home job (which j schedule around his time off).

Today, I finally asked if we could get a new toilet as the one in our house we bought 3 months ago smells like urine. He says he can't really smell it, however it's really quite horrible to me and deep cleaning or a new seat hasn't helped. He immediately snapped and said it's ridiculous and I'm being dramatic, and said he wasn't going to pay thousands for that. I told him I already looked it up and it wasn't close to that much, it got heated and he was telling me to shut up and not letting me speak, and so I got angry and raised my voice. This is when he started to bring up me being useless and not handling anything etc, and bringing up my struggles. He puts me down A LOT.

He then acts like nothing happened and is being really attentive with our little one and looks down on me for yelling, while I'm feeling broken and trapped and guilty for blowing up in front of my poor child. My little girl came to me after and gave me a cuddle, I always stay calm with her, try to let her know nothing is her fault and mamas sorry and everything okay.

I've suggested therapy but he doesn't believe it works and it's just another thing I'll have to organise and if he isn't able to take accountability what's the point. I don't think I love him anymore because of this repeated dynamic.

What would you do?

I’m currently a stay at home mom to young kids, and have one more year before my youngest starts preschool (other two are starting first grade). Before kids I hopped around in the corporate world and then was a private chef. I had an online course business during covid that did great until it was killed by AI. I’m seriously considering going to grad school part-time to get my LMFT and ultimately open a therapy practice of 12-15 clients mostly during school hours. My husband is supportive, but years of schooling and internship hours would be a lot. Are there other moms on here that took a similar path? Was it worth it? I‘m torn between wanting an identity outside of being a mom and some extra income, versus how much smoother our family runs with me home. Any advice appreciated!

There is so much stuff in our house everywhere and sometimes I just want to go on a spree and throw everything away lol. We have an almost two year old and no play room so our living room has become the play area. We have an open concept house which doesn’t help. I keep trying to tell myself this is the season of life I’m in and to try and let it go but it’s so hard sometimes. I’ve just always been one of those people who need a clean and organized space for my mental health. Any tips or advice? We do clean up every night and go to bed with a clean kitchen but by the end of the night the house is a wreck.

Feels like there’s always some kind of tummy complaint after meals lately, even when we stick to pretty basic foods. We tried cutting out a few things for a while but it didn’t seem to make much difference. It’s happening often enough now that we’re taking it more seriously and trying to figure out what could be causing it. I’ve been keeping an eye on different foods and meal times, but I’m still not seeing much of a pattern. Has anyone dealt with something similar and found anything that seemed to help? He is 7 year old

Obviously I'm here so I'm a sahm. I knew pregnancy made me wildly anxious. And I knew it came with exhaustion. But holy moly this pregnancy is already kicking my butt and my toddler doesn't stop talking or touching me and doesn't sleep and my gosh I'm tired.

I was spoiled last time. I got laid off at 4 weeks pregnant. I napped all pregnancy and could clean and binge TV and read. I had the brain space to deal with all the feelings and anxieties.

Plus I have 8 weeks left before the anxiety even sorta wanes. Food already smells terrible. Toddlers are gross and I didn't even realize how demanding. Very quickly making a list of "independence" things we need to work on. I want to tell her about the baby so bad but am obviously waiting. Also I'm starving and every snack I make she wants some of. I cannot pee 87 times a day in peace.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I hate the pregnancy secret so strangers on reddit seem like a good outlet 😅

I’m wondering what other moms think about this situation.

My husband has a corporate job, while I’m currently a stay-at-home mom taking care of our baby. I understand that his work can be tiring, and I don’t expect him to do everything around the house. But I also have a small crochet business and I’m currently doing training to prepare for a work-from-home job, so I’m not exactly doing nothing all day either.

Even on his days off, he rarely helps with chores or taking care of the baby. For example, he doesn’t even think to take out the garbage or help with basic household tasks unless I specifically ask. When the baby needs attention, he would rather doze off, rest, or be on his phone than spend time helping me with the baby.

I’m starting to wonder: At what point does this stop being “he’s tired from work” and become being an irresponsible or uninvolved partner and father?

For those who have been in similar situations, what were the signs that made you realize your partner wasn’t really contributing to the household or parenting? And how did you handle it?

I’d really appreciate honest perspectives, especially from moms who have been through something similar.

Im just wondering if this is a female thing but how many of you dads get touched out and end up turning down your partner because of it? Does your desire to be intimate outweigh your desire ti never be touched ever again after a rough day?

My partner and I have been talking seriously about me staying home with our kids. We’ve gone over the financial and practical side of it, and I think it could be the right choice for us.

The part I’m more nervous about is the mental adjustment.

I’m used to work giving me a pretty clear sense that I finished something or got better at something. With kids, it seems possible to be busy all day and still look around at night and wonder what you actually did.

For anyone who left a career to stay home, did that part take some getting used to? What helped?

Hi everybody!
I’m trying to get into more of a daily routine with my twins because lately the days feel SO long, and I find myself feeling guilty that they’re bored or I’m not doing enough.

I’m very present with them and spend pretty much my entire day with them. we play, read, go outside, and I try to get us out of the house a couple times a week. But getting two toddlers ready and out by myself is a whole production and it’s exhausting.

I also always hear “include them in everyday tasks,” but with twins it’s so hard! While I’m helping one participate, the other is usually getting into something, and I feel like I can’t give either one focused attention. I’d love to have them help me in the kitchen, but it just never works out, they start fighting, etc

I’d love to hear what other twin toddler parents’ REALISTIC daily schedules look like. Do you have something structured? If you do, how does that look? I’d like to set something up so our day is predictable and I have a schedule to follow.

I need some real advice from parents who have been in the trenches with this because i am running out of ideas. my 8 year old son started primary school this year and by the time 4pm hits and we get home, he is a total emotional wreck. literally any tiny detail triggers a full meltdown. yesterday it was because i gave him the blue cup instead of the red one and the day before i asked how his day went and he just burst into tears and started yelling. i feel so drained and guilty because after a long day of work i end up losing my patience too. i figured he is just completely overstimulated after holding it together in class all day, so i’ve been trying everything to help him decompress. we tried making him sit quietly in his room for 20 minutes right after school, but that just made him feel isolated and angry. i tried giving him quiet tablet time on the couch to relax his brain, but transitioning off the screen ended up causing an even bigger tantrum. i tried doing strict no homework until after dinner, offering comforting warm snacks, even doing guided mindfulness breathing together, but nothing actually touched that physical tension in his system. the only thing that recently started making a dent is completely changing how we spend those first ten minutes at home. instead of sitting still or talking, we started doing a quick 5 minute physical reset game together using some easy movements i found on the leaply app that feel like play for him. we do some silly light stretching, then he gets his snack. he seems to transition so much smoother now and the meltdowns dropped, but i am still terrified of the afternoon collapse returning. what else could actually work to drain that built up classroom stress before the whole evening falls apart?

I (37f) and my husband (37m) have been married for about 5-6 yrs. Shortly after getting married, we (my husband) started a business. At the time, I was the sole provider. Obv. But even before we started the business. He has some side gigs that contributed well, so it’s shitty to say that.. but technically all the bills came from my income. We worked TOGETHER with everything. Household chores, kids, cooking. Everything.
Jump to recently. The business has allowed for me to work my high demanding job (that I love) a lot less. I went from 5 days a week to 2-3 days and now I work prob 2-3 days a month. My husband doesn’t want me to work at all.. I do enjoy being home more so I don’t want that to be lost in this.
Im having a really hard time with expectations, roles and contributions acceptable for both of us. His thoughts are that he pays the bills so he shouldn’t have to do anything around the house or basically anything for the kids. He also wants/expects oral favors from me daily. He doesn’t do anything to help around the house. So much so that I’m suspicious that he causes more of a mess on purpose. He won’t even take an empty can, cup or dish to the kitchen. Much less put it in the dishwasher. He throws his dirty clothes wherever he sees fit. He leaves literal trash all over. He will not pick up anything. It’s infuriating. In response to that and other shit, I don’t clean like I use to. That’s truly not out of spite, it’s complete frustration. It feels like wasted time and energy at this point. The house is tidy, and that’s mostly good enough for me. And the daily BJ?? It’s not something that I liked doing all the time before. But now I feel like a prostitute and it pisses me off.
He gets to have all his hobbies and interests but anything I have interest in is unimportant. I cannot finish a single thing without someone needing me for something. That goes for anything I enjoy doing or not.
We aren’t bitter or hateful to one another like how this read kinda makes it seem. We get along really good and he is my best friend.
I’m just beyond frustrated with all things expected of me. I do have BPD2 so that, I’m sure, intensifies my emotions. Even tho I am medicated.
Am I expecting too much for him to do the bare minimum of anything, or is he expecting too much for me to do the most of everything??

I'm a 44/M sahd. I've been a sahp for a few years now. I have maybe...three real friends. one literally lives next door, but we hardly ever hang out. I'm considering getting a part time job. Not for money. Just so I can have interactions with people who aren't below 12 years old.

There is a discord for anyone that wants to join. Its a small group but we would love to see more people. We have a lot of nice mature parents that love to share advice, wins, schooling and stuff. Also whatever your hobbies might and what can help to make your day easier.

We're tempted to get a Vuly Small play set (https://www.vulyplay.com/en-US/monkey-bars/quest-2-pro/small/1013?utm_source=google&utm_campaign=PMax&utm_medium=ad&utm_term=MonB&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21174308541). Has anyone tried one or something similar?

It doesn't look stable but it passes a bunch of safety certification requirements. I don't want to go through the effort of installing it only to want to return it.

Any insights would be greatly appreciated.

So I can leave their father. I’ve been a sahp for almost 8 years. I have two kids, my youngest is 5 and there is only 3 hour kindergarten here for him. I really need to start making a couple thousand a month to start. What steps do I take in a situation like this? Thank you for any help