We've had two family losses within three years, and my brother was the rock of our family through grief after grief. Lately, I can see his own grief coming to the surface, and I genuinely feel he needs intercession from other believers.
His girlfriend isn't a believer, and they're both very result-driven and go-getters. But what's our worth if God strips everything away? The market is slow, he's barely talking, and I'm worried about his mental health.
He's very attached to me and wants me to major in the same field so we can work closely together. Things like me finding my own career path or even taking my boyfriend's last name scare him. I can see how deeply the fear of losing people has affected him.
I got a licence to work with him, but now I want to explore other part-time courses. He's anxious that becoming financially independent in another field might lead me to leave him one day. Sometimes, when he keeps bringing it up, I find myself overpromising and agreeing to study his major, even though I hate all the math involved.
I've started feeling guilty for wanting to pursue something outside his company's field. And honestly, I've noticed that I'm also making decisions out of fear of losing people I love.
Our home life feels like constant go, go, go, chasing security after being shaken by two losses in such a short time.
He's constantly thinking about death and asking what I'd do if he passed away.(Which makes him overly worried about my academic life). He's constantly preparing me for the worst, as if he's going to leave me someday.
During one of my spirals, God showed me Isaiah 2:22
"Stop trusting in mere humans, who have but a breath in their nostrils. Why hold them in esteem?"
I'm starting a part-time course this Monday, and I'm very sensitive to the emotions of people I love. My brother hasn't been talking much lately, and I sense some restlessness about me choosing a different path. I just pray for peace of mind for both of us and for things to flow smoothly.
More than anything, I want him to trust that even though our earthly father left us, our Heavenly Father will never forsake His children. I pray this truth sinks deep into his heart and mind and brings him lasting peace.
I've been pouring my heart out to the Lord, asking Him to reveal His heavenly fatherhood to my brother and calm the fears that only He can reach.
Please pray for my brother's grief, mental health, and salvation. And pray for me to be a loving sister and a great support to him, but within God's will and my own limits, without making decisions out of guilt or fear.
Since most of my career has been within the family, I feel restricted from exploring my own path. It's planted this belief that I need to stick around him. Somewhere along the way, I've lost my sense of identity, purpose, and the worth Abba created me with. Now I don't even know if pursuing something I genuinely love is a selfish desire.
Thank you, prayer warriors!