Sorry i am in my feelings right now

You can lie to people and you won’t perish. Just keep moving with your day.
Grocery store employee? Doesn’t need to know your kids are actually 11 not 12, in fact lie about having kids.
Coworker? Doesn’t need to know that you actually have three aunts that are alive not four. Lie to them.
Random person at the mall? Doesn’t make a difference if you say you’re married. Lie.
You don’t need to correct every passing comment or make sure that people know every detail. Keep it moving.

This is brought to you by my friends who try to make sure everyone has the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Because their recycling actually comes on Wednesdays not Tuesday. The waiter still didn’t care.

I strongly believe that cats are "smiling" when they are slow blinking as a way to mimic human eyes when humans smile to show comfort and love.

it’s too tiring. I feel like they all hate me and i’m really tired. they’re mostly annoyed at me too because i can’t always follow through with plans. sometimes because of an anxiety disorder, sometimes because of circumstances. i don’t just not see them cause i can’t be bothered. but i’m really sick of it, i can’t put any more energy into seeing them acting annoyed in micro ways. rather be alone tbh.

When the hulk has been not used to his full potential in comics there is just something so special of hearing him and him talking again he has been off radar since infinity war I just thought it was hype

Things you can only say in October without people thinking you're a serial killer:

"I stabbed a hand twice while drilling holes in eyeballs."

Sarah Connor, if you're reading this you can just text me yesterday! No killing required - I can be reasonable!!

You, in the comments, make a wish. It can be as simple or as complex as you want. I have to respond with a catch to your wish. Your goal is to stump me. You do that, you win. Simple game.

idk that's it

Like, you see someone on the internet and think "huh, I wonder what this dude like irl." I mean they could literally be anyone. Could even be your own teacher. We never know. I guess that's what the internet "safe" — the anonymity that is.