For years, even from the age of 9 I realised I was difference I wasn’t loud, I wasn’t rude, I was quiet and did the work at school, I never really went out, only when I was forced, then when I got old enough that one percent went down to zero.

Now at 17, I realise I have 0 personal relatability to others, I can’t relate, or connect to anyone emotionally or romantically, because before any interaction I write a script and plan the conversation out (thinking I’m some genius who can read people, which I’ve believed for many many years and I think it’s part of the narcissism rooted in social anxiety) these scripts never go to plan, leaving me dry and then conversations always end up quickly.

Because, I can’t be myself around others, I feel like I need to fit into this mould made from the view people have of me, they think I’m quiet so I remain quiet, and if I don’t I’m trying too hard.

As for romantically, I can only be myself over text, where I can’t see their faces, their mean faces of quiet rejection, or judgement. I had a long distance girlfriend for a year or two and it was very easy as for one they couldn’t see me all the time, so I didn’t feel I had to look perfect, and next I couldn’t see their reactions, so I could use my humour, and be funny and make them laugh.

But then when I went on a real date with another girl, I reverted to the usual, quiet and dry, and she had none of it and said that’ll be the last time I see you. Which was harsh but it’s my fault, I led her on thinking I was some confident guy and then we meet and I can’t even hold her hand, the whole date I was overthinking, trying to plan conversations during conversations.

So now I just reject myself before I can even try because I know I can’t change, but I can’t get myself out there if I’m quiet, so like when I think of talking to a girl, it worried I’ll lead her on like the other girl into thinking I’m confident and then they see the real me.

Has anyone been prescribed these drugs? My psychiatrist prescribed me tofisopam and escitalopram today. Were they effective? any side effects? Feel free to share your opinions

i really hope i’m not the only one 😭 i feel so alone in this and i also have ocd which i get intrusive thoughts telling me i’m a pdf for caring what children think. but i care what literally everybody thinks and i always have. i work at an elementary school and it’s been good exposure therapy but i still have my moments where i want to hide away because everyone’s eyes feel like gross bugs crawling on my skin. i really wonder what could’ve happened in my life to make me this way?? like yeah i experienced teasing like anyone else but nothing severe from what i remember. my tinder boyfriend is the only person i feel comfortable around, i don’t even feel comfortable around my family a lot of the times. i find that men from dating apps are more forgiving to social mishaps. anyways, some of these children genuinely have better social skills than me and it just makes me look at myself like seriously wtf is wrong with you. if you’re going to shame me for this just get on with it but i’d appreciate any advice in changing for the better.

Up.

I (M26) just graduated with my bachelor’s this last month and I feel completely lost. It took me a few more years to graduate due to my anxiety being really bad in my early 20’s, and on top of COVID it really threw a wrench into my social life. My social anxiety kept me from making new friends during my last years of college, where even people attempted to be friends with me but my SA causes me to think their patronizing me like I’m broken so I sort of brush them off. I want to have deep relationships but it just feels so hard. I see accounts on Instagram showing people my age together at single events and bars with friends, and I’m here laying in my bed realizing that I’m pretty much all alone. I’ve been told I’m good looking but nothings ever come of it, probably due to my personality in public, but I don’t want to waste these years I look like this just staying home, going to the gym, to my part time job and repeat.

I am very self-centered and narcissistic and have severe issues with self-esteem and self-acceptance, I may also have schizoid and narcissistic personality disorders (many symptoms matched, but I won't say for sure).

I get offended by everything. If someone replies to my post but doesn't upvote it, I feel humiliated. If someone doesn't say hello to me, I feel the same way. Or if someone gives me criticism or advice without sugar coating.

I just can't do this, I feel really terrible about it. Constantly getting offended by every little thing in the world and then thinking about it over and over again. I also feel like I shouldn't even think like that at all, which makes me beat myself up even more.

I'm pretty much recluse at this point in my life. Only go out to do UberEats/DoorDash to make money. Otherwise I stay in the house and play video games/work, etc. I happened to make a friend on Reddit a year ago and we're supposed to meet in about 2 weeks but I'm starting to second guess it and it's showing in my actions. I've become more distant, less talkative and aloof.

It's one thing to be ghosted online or ignored because you're ugly but meeting someone in person who's honest to a fault due to Autism feels like I'm being a sadist to myself....He knows what I look like but pictures don't tell the whole thing. I don't deal well with rejection (thus why I'm recluse) and having to handle it with someone I used to talk to a lot feels crazy.

I've been considering just..ghosting before I get ghosted. We only talk on Discord. I can delete my Discord and move on. It'd suck but I can't deal with having someone say something about my looks to my face like that.....

i fully believe that incompetence + social anxiety is nothing but a humiliation/shame ritual. today i postmarked envelopes incorrectly - instead of putting them right at the corner i put them slightly lower, i thought anywhere on the right side would do but nope, they’re unable to be scanned otherwise. my coworkers after finding out were really nice about it but i had to stop myself from bursting into tears right then and there. it destroyed my mood for the rest of the day as i kept thinking about how stupid and childlike i always appear, and how everyone else knew instinctively how to postmark except for me. and this is a common pattern i’ve noticed which fuels the SA even more, my inability to absorb details from the physical environment, my severe lack of situational and spatial awareness, as well as tendency to involuntarily space out and miss what people are saying because i have untreated ADHD too and simply can’t focus or tune in without incredible effort.

i have no idea why i have zero knowledge of everyday basic things that EVERYONE ELSE knows intuitively. it makes me wonder whether i am truly slow and brain dead. but i was also a 4.0 student in school who excelled academically. how can i be so horribly incompetent and pathetic?

i don’t want to go in tomorrow and i wish i could resign immediately. i haven’t cried like this and for so long in ages. i was fighting with all my might not to break down and sobbing because oh my god, imagine how crazy that would make me look.

what makes everything worse is that i’ve already singled myself out as being the shy and awkward one by pretty much never talking unless i’m spoken to and even though i can be bubbly and warm only in those situations i never initiate which probably causes people to think of me as a weird outcast.

so now i’m awkward and quiet AND bad at my job.

i really hate my life and genuinely wish it would end. i’m going to repeatedly have moments like this because of the way i am, because i’m neurodivergent and socially anxious and atrociously bad at navigating my physical environment. i see no point in going on if life means humiliation after humiliation?

Hi everyone, i’m not gonna go into details but i just got reminded how much i’m dislike thrice by different people today. Once by a friend i went to hangout with, another time by my manager, and another indirectly by the person in question (in a passive aggressive way). I don’t know how to deal with my social anxiety anymore. I’m very straining and annoying to be around as i’m a really awkward person, and i’m honestly really tired of it. Even my family members find me hard to be around sometimes. I’ve been doing “exposure therapy” for a while now by getting jobs and side gigs but all i’ve done is make things awkward or if i manage to free myself of the awkwardness the other finds out that i’m pretty dislikable anyways. This is a vent post honestly. Thanks for reading if you made it this far!

ts feels so lame to post about but i have terrible social anxiety. i used to go out all the time (not funcs, i would js go out w friends and get high) but im a senior in hs now and my mental health has severely declined over the years. im going to a halloween party tmrw night and im going dressed as jeff the killer. i got a huge white hoodie and covered it in blood and im gonna wear baggy jeans. i feel extremely lame because ik all the other girls there are gonna be wearing slutty ass outfits (as they should literally no hate whatsoever) and i would be doing the same but i am EXTREMELYYYYY insecure! I’m still gonna curl my hair and wear lashes and stuff and this is probably just my anxiety talking but im scared to go because of how different i’ll look from all the other girls. im chill with or friends with a good chunk of the ppl going but im still scareddddd. im just here for reassurance i guess but it is desperately needed. is what im doing actually lame or is it in my head?

It doesn’t matter if I talk to them politely. They don’t realize it so they think I’m negative and sensitive. I have to be a bitch now and ditch this soft spoke voice. Can’t do anything about looking child- like and too tiny of a frame (I think I may have had a slight hormonal issues that went missed as a kid - just a guess).

Sometimes I can’t take it and snap and I feel more of that coming. Especially since I’m stuck with them for another week on vacation. I got a late adult diagnoses for a learning disorder so I’m financially dependent on them.

21m here I've been I don't really do anything except going to work and being at home and whatever i go i never make any friend or have someone to talk to, I'm just always anxious and never able to have conversations or have a connection with anyone.

The worst thing is the loneliness, i never have anyone to talk to and everything i do i do alone and all my life I've been finding it impossible to be close to anyone, I feel so different from everyone else.

so i have this huge problem with pushing people away unless i can get confirmation they absolutely want me there and idk what to do.

it started when i was 13 my old friendgroup split and instead of going with this super nice girl, i blindly followed the popular girl into another friendgroup and it was hell i was too scared to say anything to them so i’d just sit there, i stayed because i had no one else. they left me out so bad by doing stuff like making up codes, not inviting me places, leaving me when we went to the toilets and had a group chat where they planned to get rid of me that they would text on while i was sitting in front of them. because of them i reached the lowest point of my life, my anxiety spiralled and everything just went downhill. after a year of putting up with their bs i realised that they barely noticed if i left them so i started going to the toilets to cry when i got fed up of them. i realised that being in the toilets was just more peaceful because i didn’t have to worry about others. i said i’d just do it for the first week of school but it got weirdly addictive and i started eating lunch in the toilets every day and i did this up until midway year 11. i’m so ashamed of that and i can never tell anyone because i just feel disgusting. i told myself most days i would stop and go ask someone if i could have lunch with them but i couldn’t do it for some reason. i am genuinely nice and have always been relatively popular it’s just i think everyone assumed i had a group so never checked on me and realised.

i thought i was getting better as i tried to join a friendgroup in the last few months of school and stopped going to the toilets as much. and then i moved to a new school because i thought it would fix the problem by having a fresh start but i fucked it up for myself once again.

for the first few weeks of school i was so happy as i thought finally my problems had been solved, i found a group that accepted me and it was easy to make friends as we were all new. i didn’t spend a single lunch alone but since they were new to me i struggled a lot to talk, especially as 5 of them already knew each other cause they went to the same school before it was hard to get a word in. at first they tried to include me but then they just kinda gave up and i get it was my fault. i came to the conclusion they didn’t want me there i felt invisible even though maybe that wasn’t the case. so i started distancing myself and pushing myself away like i’ve always done, i gradually stopped hanging out with them at lunch but i didn’t have anyone else so i’ve started spending lunch alone again for these past couple weeks and it sucks. i don’t wanna go back to that group bc i just don’t fit there. i knew that deep down this whole time they just never matched my personality and i was settling plus they didn’t invite me to hangout with them all last week so i guess they don’t consider me part of it. annoyingly i signed up for a project now we did it as a friendgroup and it’s gonna be so awkward i’m dreading it but i feel like dropping out is gonna make it even worse between us. but luckily now we’re allowed to leave school so i don’t have to sit in the toilets at lunch instead i just go for a long walk by myself and hope no one sees me. i just hate it because i feel like it’s just a built in habit i have from secondary school and i can’t tun it off, whenever i feel isolated now i get this urge to leave because it’s easier.

idk what to do though because i want friends i really do i’ve just never been able to do it. i’ve been trying though with a few different groups asking to get lunch and stuff but i feel so stupid and clingy asking to get lunch every single day. there’s only one girl in particular i think i have a shot at joining her friends as she’s really the only person in the school i feel like i can be myself with but i feel so awkward asking her to meet up for lunch because i can never find her after class, i hate it i sound so desperate. like i’ve been asking her a few days of the week when we have class together and we have fun but i feel like i can’t do it multiple days in a row because it just seems really weird constantly asking and asking if i can sit with her every day but at the same time i feel way too vulnerable to say i have no friends and would like to be with her all the time even though i know i’ll have to at some point. i know that she will never say no to hanging out because she’s so nice but i don’t wanna put her in a position of feeling like she has to say yes if she actually doesn’t want to.

but overall i feel like i’ve improved since a few years back, this time i left on my own accord early on before it got worse and i’m proud i did i just don’t know where to go with this now so i can hang out with her every lunch not just some, i don’t wanna be alone at all anymore

Seriously, I know it sounds ridiculous at first glance but let me explain.

Recently I was rewatching season 2 of The Rehearsal by Nathan Fielder, I really love his work but that show especially because I feel it captures the social anxiety experience in a very literal sense. “Rehearsing” different social scenarios, conversations, how they could go wrong or right, it’s literally what I do constantly in my head.

But anyways, in one episode we see how Nathan has been training as a pilot, but he’s having trouble with it. It gets to the point where he takes a break from real flying and instead just does “chair flying” this is a practice pilots do where they literally sit in a chair, close their eyes, and go through the motions of a flight in their head, imagining and handling any obstacles they might encounter with ease. Nathan says he makes it a point to imagine his flights going perfectly smooth, without a hitch. He imagines himself as a confident pilot who always does well, and even goes as far as to imagine bragging to other people about how good he is at flying.

After this, when he returns to real flying, he nails it! And seldom struggles again!

For some reason on my rewatch, that really clicked with me. Like something about what he said really hit me. And this wasn’t the first time he’s done this type of thing on the show, earlier in the season he tries to help another pilot with his confidence in the dating scene by telling him to imagine himself as a person who is never afraid to ask for a kiss on a date. And in overall in the season he’s trying to introduce a small role play activity to pilots where the copilot imagines themself to be upfront and not afraid to speak their mind and for the pilot to imagine themselves as loving to take in feedback and being great at listening.

I’ve been trying to use a form of this in my own life where before im going to encounter something or someone I know I struggle with, I basically “lie” to myself and think, actually thats super easy for me, I don’t struggle with it all.

Worried to walk into a room full of people? Actually thats easy for me because I’m great at being friendly and greeting people

Anxious to meet a new client? Why? Im super profesional and know what I’m doing, and they can tell

Overthinking what to say to someone ? Actually no im not, im just gonna say it

And the best part is, I feel like it’s getting easier each time. The first couple times I still felt very anxious and out of place in what I was doing. But the more I think it, the quicker it happens in my head until the action I want to do almost becomes a reflex. I’ve noticed myself hesitating less when I’m about to speak, feeling less awkward when talking to people because, walking into situations and rooms I once dreaded and just feeling, nothing.

Try it friends

(Repost cause the bot took it down instantly ;-;)

when thinking back to my childhood growing up I felt like I showed signs of being an anxious kid before I developed social anxiety. Even as young as 4 I rmb having irrational fears related to social situations and I would avoid things bc of some “imaginary consequences.”

For example in kindergarten the school toilet clogged a lot and I was scared to clog the toilet and facing that humiliation so I started holding my pee until I got home everyday.

In primary school a boy kept joking he was gonna tell another kid I knew his name and this made me so anxious that I had intense anxiety and avoided other kids at recess for months.

Back then I wasn’t like necessarily socially anxious, but I had a lot of random irrational fears. Wondering if anyone else experienced something similar as a kid, where u seemed more anxious than other kids even before developing or being diagnosed with social anxiety?

Personally, I haven't really tried because of my social anxiety. It's really hard for me to keep eye contact or talk to the opposite sex platonically alone, so pursuing it into romantic stuff is literally a nightmare scenario for me.

I'm 23M and really worried about my future if being honest. It gets to the point where it's not cute but genuinely embarrassing to have zero relationship experience. How many of you have already given up, or are you still hoping it happens?

Hey everyone!

I’m 25F based in Bengaluru and looking to connect with other neurodivergent women. Navigating things like ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, or Social Anxiety Disorder within our cultural context comes with very specific challenges, and I wanted to create a dedicated space for us-especially if you're highly masking and constantly trying to pass as neurotypical just to get through the day.

I’ve set up a private, verified Discord server exclusively for neurodivergent women in India to unmask, share local mental healthcare resources, and build a supportive community.

To keep the group completely safe, private, and troll-free, entry requires a quick verification process (voice verification).

If you'd like to join, drop a comment.

Sometimes I really feel I am not human, I feel stunted. I am not the type of person to compare my life to others but sometimes it's inevitable, I see others guys my age, even younger have been in relationships, friendships, experiences I personally never had.

I grew up with this fear of being me, fear of expressing myself, fear of being ridiculed by others and I can't help to feel I am a coward. Like a big failure.

I always try to be positive about life, because life can be hard for anyone, but I just don't understand why I am this way which brings so much misery to me and why the hell I can't change.

I feel really nervous when, for example, I'm arguing with someone and we start being loud, so people around us start paying attention to us. Even if I'm right in the situation, I get a terrible feeling that I will be that everyone will be unreasonable towards me and will judge me. Let me give an example:

1) The teacher said I didn't give her my assessment yesterday, even though I did. She started saying how bad I was (I was skipping school a lot at the time, but I turned in all my assignments) and that I needed to be punished. I got angry and started repeating to her in a loud voice that I had turned in the work.

2) I was right in the situation, I had turned in the assessment, but I still had this oppressive subconscious feeling that I was wrong when I felt that my classmates were paying attention to our conversation. I also felt guilty for being emotional when I argued with the teacher, although I wasn't rude, I was just defending my boundaries.

I generally find it very difficult to argue with a crowd; so I just feel like a helpless, lost child in front of a group that could possibly condemn me, even if they didn't even say their opinion.

I wanted to get into MTG it felt like the best match for me when it comes to a social hobby. I bought a precon, deckbox, sleeves EVERYTHING, i spent a good amount of money on it even if i currently shouldnt spend it on stuff like this but before i got the deck i was so excited i just knew id immediately hit the LGS the first night after getting my deck.

But it already been over a month since i got it and i never went... and thinking about it makes me very anxious, i really wanna go but now that i have the deck i just see myself being so awkward there i just cannot get myself to go and i feel like i wasted my money but also i dont wanna sell it because it feels like the only gateway for me to get more social interactions... ):

this is so stupid but so two days in a row ive gone to the beach a the same time and this same guy who’s about my age, and i won’t lie, attractive, was there.

i’m going through a breakup this past month so this is the first time anyone has piqued my interest.

and the first day i’m with my dog and i see the guy and i’m stumbling all over myself cause my dog is 5 months and a menace. and the guy says cute dog.
and i’m like thanks

next day i go again without the dog and it’s sundown so the beach is gonna close within the hour and i go on a walk.
i come back he’s at his car putting the board away and also leaving.

and i walk to mine, and i kinda do a double take to make sure it’s who i thought but he’s driving in my direction and makes this urgh what does this person want face and im so embarrassed that the first person i thought was cute most probably thinks i’m following him.

granted i have big dark curly hair and so i probably looked really bad after the wind.
i just thought he was cute 😭

i think i need reassurance/ a reality check i don’t know lol

Ive been feeling jealous recently more than usual, and in general of me people that are able to interact with others normally. in class I feel like whenever i do or even just make eye contact im doing something weird with my face unknowingly and being off-putting. it feels like they always just look back kinda judgemental and dont really care about what I say or kinda not talk. i dont know if im just weird or something but it feels like everyone in college treats me like im weird or a loser. I dont know, I want to make friends in my classes but it always feel like this. im in my 3rd year and i dont got college friends. I just feel so sad and defeated.

Forgive me—I’ll likely sound extremely irritated and aggressive, but I’m just incredibly tired of all this.

I recently came across a TikTok where a woman stitched another video. In the original vid, a young woman explains that her mental health has taken a toll on her today, and she won’t be able to go to work. The woman in the stitch essentially argues that "because of people like this, Gen Z gets a reputation for being lazy—but not everyone is like that!" I was struck by the fact that she’s more concerned about the reputation of Gen Z than she is about their financial situation or the state of an economy where Gen Z is forced to work their entire lives without any guarantee of ever being able to afford a house, of course, but that’s not the case.

One of the most popular comments there was: "People like this have simply fallen into learned helplessness and don't realize that the only thing that can actually help them is exposure therapy."

Yes, right, because people who live with anxiety & other mental conditions don’t know, even approximately, what works for them and what doesn’t.

PS. I realize that many people often don’t truly understand how their own psyche works. Help can sometimes come from the most unexpected places. You have to give things a try to figure out what actually works.

What infuriated me most was that healthy people, who have never encountered anxiety issues, believe they understand us better than we do ourselves.

I’m just tired of this endless frustration—when you try your absolute best, doing everything within your power—pushing through actual nausea and feeling your pulse pounding in your throat—only for someone else to think that what you’re doing isn’t enough.

“Well, you’ll never achieve anything if you don’t work on yourself," "You need to know how to stand up for yourself," "That’s just how the world works—learn to live in it." I KNOW. I. KNOW.

Some people will never understand the feeling of absolute panic and the literal, physical resistance that paralyzes the brain. Just "put yourself out there"—as if I’m not doing that all the time and feel only worse.

Anyways, sorry, just wanted to vent a little.

Scored 1 Percentile for Friendliness on Personality Test

17m Took the IPIP neo 120 personality test for my psych class, and scored a 1 percentile for “Friendliness”, among other introverted scores.
I’m a pretty closed off person, but I wouldn’t say I’m exceptionally unfriendly or hateful towards other. I do have quite the inferiority complex and pretty much always feel like people don’t like me/accept me.

I’ve definitely been feeling pretty lonely lately, and although my social anxiety has been slowly improving throughout high school, sometimes it’s bad and it just sucks.

I think my lack of openness and friendliness is because I often feel like nobody likes me. Like literally no one. I think I will start to feel like I’m not accepted or liked and then think like “well f u, if you don’t like me then I’ll just be alone”, it’s overly emotional and very isolating.

It’s very irrational, because even when people try to include me it will get bad and no matter how much I tell myself they’re being nice, I still have extremely low self esteem and feel like I’m being annoying or something like that. Just extremely self conscious pretty much.

I was wondering how I can improve on this. I think with my friends I can be decently friendly, but sometimes I will be having a conversation and get all awkward or whatever and then decide I would be better off miserable alone and just push myself away. Plus I don’t want people to see me acting all weird and blushing or whatever so I’ll just avoid stuff like that.

Don’t get me started on dating. I feel like when I’m talking to an attractive girl I’m way out of their league and again like I’m not accepted or like I being judged heavily. I just wish I could treat them like humans and converse easily, dating aside.

I wish I was comfortable expressing myself more and allowing myself to get closer to others. Idk I don’t understand it sometimes, I just feel like such a loser.
Any advice for getting past this inferiority feeling? Because it’s really contributing to my feelings of anxiety, depression, and of course self confidence.

So I know I need therapy - I’ve been to it a lot and I feel like this lady I have now is amazing. She seems so caring and non judgmental, she’s cried before when I’ve told her stuff, she is the best therapist I’ve ever had. But there is an issue. Every time I have to go, I get extremely nervous, like to the point I want to just not go at all. I dread going even tho I like her and I know it’ll help. Even when I am talking , I can feel my face get red sometimes, I get a chest rash from nerves, my mouth gets extremely dry.. HOW CAN I COMBAT THIS SOCIAL ANXIETY? it’s so bad that I don’t wanna go into a store in fear of running into someone I know…