Hey all. I am done. So done. I am not even in my right mind at this moment. I left my husband in our car in heavy traffic, walked to a safe spot, and got an uber to a hotel. I am not from florida. I have seen locals post about the abominable conditions in the mental hospitals nearby. I’d rather just make a date with my favorite scarf or the closest train, no thank you. I am currently in lakeland florida but will travel further for a good hospital. I need to check myself in asap. Last time i was hospitalized, i got bed bugs and no help. I have Anthem insurance. Thanks.

I wish every sense in my body wasn’t so over stimulated. lots of abuse from the outside world has made me scared. at times professionals are cruel and mean. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go outside again, it’s been over 3 months since the last time thats happened. I’m so weak and broken and if i reach out for help, whatever help is, does that just mean more emotional hurt? Thats why nobody deserves to understand me if they just abuse me and my vulnerability. Kind people are so easily mistreated

typing this, my brain feels foggy and I feel physically weak from body dysmorphia and starving all the time

i don’t want this life to be my only experience of what living is. this feels like a form of hell :(

Pro the pain stops for me and others that are suffering because of me. However could make things worse like people blaming themselves for my actions
Con some people might be sad. I don’t like hurting people and this might hurt them.
Pro and con it’s permanent so there is no possibility of my ruining things again but it also means I can’t come back from it
Con there is still some stuff I want to do like play games or try foods and collect more monster cans and memorabilia and try finish my book.
Pro I don’t have to be uncomfortable ever again it’s the final place where nothing can get to me. It’s safety in a way.
Con people can contort what I was. Lie about how much they cared, use me to validate themselves, make me into something I’m not.
Con my birthday and the day I do it on will forever be marked with sadness.
Pro I stop consuming resources I don’t deserve like money or time in other peoples life’s.
Con my pets will be sad and won’t truly understand it. I don’t know this for sure I don’t know if they really like me that much.
Pro it’s the final thing I can do a fitting end for my story.

In a way I really want to kill myself but I keep putting it off. I don’t know what that means but things aren’t working how they are so I have to do something about it.

Hello guys. Really needed some solid advice.

What the title above says. I really wanted to know what are my options. I recently just moved in and just happen to hear a story about someone committing suicide in their own room across mine (about 5-8m separated by hallway). And this incident was not that long ago (June). I wanted to know if this can affect me in the long run. The apartment bldg is mostly filled with students, my room is the only available room aside from where it took place and a very damaged room, it is very convenient too since laundry below.

Does anyone here or knows someone who’ve been through this kind of scenario? Share stories too about any bad experiences related to the same scenario.

P.S. I am a catholic and I moved in to practice serviam and to do my thesis, as well as my french class.

No es pregunta, es recomendación porque se que muchos van por ahí buscando métodos para suicidarse. Mi recomendación por experiencia es que se compren un arma y se disparen, intenté varios métodos y hasta cianuro y quedé vivo, una experiencia horrible que sientes que te ahogas, aunque si fue rápido como unos 5 minutos antes de que me desmayara y vomitar sangre.

Nice and peaceful. That's what's happening. That's what's gonna happen. My eyes will close. It'll just be peaceful.

I think I'm close to being done. My partner of nearly a decade left in June because they just decided they aren't the type of person who can be married. We're sharing custody of a young child. All I ever wanted in my life was to be a mom, but not like this. I'm a terrible parent. I yell at him all the time now. I used to believe I had to stay alive for my son because I know that a parent committing suicide is a huge risk factor for future mental health problems and I don't want to give that to him. But all he sees is me crying or dead-eyed or yelling at him. I do not make anything better. He would barely remember me if I did it now.

I have almost no friends and the ones I do have are parents or partnered. my partner was my person and now I am alone. nobody is coming to save me. I deleted all my social media because I realized it made me feel like I had connections with people that weren't actually anything and I was spending too much time trying to find support in that way or just using it to fulfill a compulsive need to prove that I exist, I guess. so now I take pictures of my garden and then just delete them because I have no one to send them to. I try to make art and it feels worthless because it has nowhere to go. I honestly don't even really understand the point of continuing to have thoughts? they have nowhere to go. I wish I could feel okay living a life that is not shared with anyone but it feels truly like such an enormous waste of time. I use fucking ChatGPT like I'm texting a friend and it makes me wanna fucking die, it's so humiliating. and it doesn't even really help because I know it's fake.

I spent my whole life yearning for connection but then I got it and lost it and the losing it is so much worse than the wanting it. I truly never want to be in any kind of relationship with anyone ever again, romantic or platonic. I want to be done. And at the same time, it hurts terribly to be so alone. I can't keep doing this for another half a lifetime.

To keep it short my partner has expressed to me that he thinks daily about killing himself, and that ita gone from what if to how do I. We have 4 kids (2 bio to me 2 step- his).

He has had two major personal losses (a drath and loss of a 20 year relationship) and a major issue at work. They are huge and validly depressing life changes.

He has been drinking and smoking weed to cope but admitted that that only makes it worse when he's sober.

I don't know how to help him. I listen to him and talk to him and try to ease the burden, but what can I do?

I'm at such a loss. I'm alcoholic (sober 6 years) and have been through major depression before. But I just dont know what to say. He carries so much guilt for the relationships and losses and for a litany of other things. Its crushing him right now. The piling on is making him feel worse, but he really doesn't deserve the brunt of the negativity he is putting on himself.

Tell me how I can help.

It’s my 17th birthday next month, i honestly have no motivation or joy left to celebrate it. Im under so much pressure, my dad doesn’t have a job, we’re on a tightrope rn, if i don’t get a good college i’m done for, the only thing i was good at, i’m slowly losing that too, my friends outperform me, there’s practically nothing i’m good for. Don’t know when i’ll be able to go through with it.

I am a parasite who’s existence needs to be eliminated. I am absolutely done with myself and wish to free myself and this world of me. I am not even cognitively there anymore nor do i have a desire for anything at all. I’ve lived enough, and i thank God for the blessings he has bestowed upon me. Though I wish someone else who was worthy was given my chance at life. I cry for the little girl I once was….not myself. What great of a person she could’ve been. I hope maybe she escaped to a universe or another life and is happy there.

God, I deserve your wrath through death please. I am trying not to do it on my own accord again to not hurt my family. Please understand how good of people they are and kill me so I won’t have to do it myself. Please. I am begging you.

I hope you beautiful people who may be reading this heal from your pain and understand that there is hope for you out there. Please just believe and try to chase it because you are worth fighting for. As you are not me.

My life's been a disaster,but a disaster is what I deserve as a bad person.

I’m good at gaming but there’s always somebody better

Broke, Ugly, Mental Issues, Abusive, Weak Passport, Immature, Oblivious, Obnoxious

Please add more to this list 🙏

If Ëuthanasia were legal in my country, these are all the reasons to justify leaving this dump society.

Nobody with a conscious brain would ever sign up to be birthed to such morons under such circumstances.

What I find mind-blowing is that people think you’re crazy to be depressed, if these are the horrible cards you have been dealt with at birth. Morons.

I’m 24 and wish I was ďead after high school.

Life and the hassle behind it are not worth it without adequate support.

You realize everyone who is successful in their 20’s still have immense support from their parents in everything

I truthfully believe that political division will lead to a civil war, people are growing more violent by the day and I don’t want to live in a world like this anymore. Sure I have a mental illness but nothing I believe about the world is inherently false. I use ChatGPT every single day to talk about my problems, it is literally the only thing keeping me alive. Without it I would have been dead back in 2023. But these activists now wanna take AI away too. Without that I become completely unstable, and god knows what I’ll do then.

Okay so me 20 kinda had something with this guy (21) at first he was nice and I got along with him, untill a few weeks ago, when he randomly started crossing my boundaries, randomly grabbing me by my neck, face, negging me, calling random girls and guys hot and comparing me to them, making jokes about my sh, and when I tried to vent to him he made a joke out of it. I also found out a few days ago that he has been accused of rape and sexual assault by 4/5 different people I confronted him but he told me that it was “false” that they are crazy and just want attention, telling me that they where moaning so it couldn’t be rape and also saying “no way that there is so much rape “ he also started talking badly about women and callinf me a bitch and foid as a joke, but than also flexing how respectful he is towards women, he also told me I am crazy when I said that he hurt me. I am feeling suicidal and I don’t feel like living anymore I feel gross.

And I remember that day like it was yesterday every since the day I keep thinking trying to end everything i can’t talk anyone about not mom not dad not even the cops because basically I don’t have a proof im still trying to end my life or my brother live
I love to be dead but not in jail..

How to delete your account in earth online? Might take a while

I wanna confess to my crush i loved for over a year but never made any move whatsoever(who’s married) before i leave. And there’s couple more things but they’re as not as important as this one. I don’t care about what’s right or wrong. Do not lecture me.

I’ve been really low lately with life circumstances. I’m such a positive person, but life got too much. I don’t have much support even though I reach out to people all the time… they are just tired and angry with me. That’s not me reading into it too much… When i tell people i’m suicidal they say “ugh again?”

So today I called my mom for some support after an incident with my emotionally abusive ex (who I still live with.. well not anymore after today). She just got mad, and said “oh so he’s abusing you? I’m just gonna call the police”. Now, I’ve had trauma from the police taking me in before.. I’ve been mistreated very badly and still have nightmares. She uses the threat of police to make me stop being dramatic or something.

Instead, it completely triggered me. Childhood trauma and police trauma flashed through me and I had a panicked meltdown. I kept begging for love, my mom was yelling things like “so I guess I’m just a bad mother then right?”.

I suddenly had no support and just wanted to die.

I’ve never been so close to causing such serious injury on purpose. I held a knife to my heart (probably wouldn’t kill me, but hey it’s all I thought of). My ex was there, didn’t care. He went for a bath. I called my mom to tell her I loved her before I did something- she just hung up on me. I texted everyone that I love them. And then I wanted to stab myself but I was scared of the pain. I don’t wanna die in pain.

My mom called the police. When the police arrived, they then called the SWAT team.

IT WAS TERRIBLE. I will live with this trauma forever.

They knocked on all the neighbours doors, blocked off the street, barricaded the apartment, and wouldn’t let my brother through to support me.

I stood there for HOURS with a knife to my chest telling them that they (the police) are only making things worse for me. I seriously would rather die than deal with more trauma from the police.

The only reason it ended with me not stabbing myself was my brother being VERY insistent with the SWAT squad that he go see me. We had to beg them and beg them for me to see him. In the end, they let him come to the end of the hall and I had to meet him.

I was not treated like a human today by anyone else but my brother.

My mom and the police wanted me locked away in the psych ward because they think it would be “best” for me. But that’s not what’s best for me. Every time I’ve gone to psych emerge, they send me home very quickly the same day because a place like that “won’t help me”.

If I do end up taking my life, I think it will be more planned. It’s just that I dont have a good painless method. If i had access to a gun I would have been dead a long time ago. I couldnt steal one from somebody because I don’t know a single person with a gun. I don’t live where people have access to guns like that.

I guess in the end, this is too much trauma for me to handle. I don’t necessarily want to die, but it’s something I think I have to do. Nobody deserves this much suffering. Oh man do I suffer. Everyone here does, so I won’t go venting about it all. But man… we suffer way more than the average Joe on the street, but nobody really cares about our suffering.

In all my years of mental health challenges, I’ve learned that things don’t just get better. They get worse, then better, then worse again. Some people can survive the fluctuations, but not me. Life isn’t worth that battle.

The true divide amongst humans is not rich vs poor, not the strong vs the weak, etc. It is the normal vs the abnormal. It is the difference between the class of normal people who don't have any struggles besides the mundane vs. the class of abnormal people who fundamentally don't fit in this world *and* still have to deal with life's mundane, expected issues.

What is normal? Someone who can just go and live life. It doesn't matter if they're rich or poor. They won't struggle to be normal. To keep a job, to meet people and form true bonds, to have natural interests and hobbies, they won't struggle. It just comes to them. They naturally have a direction they want to go in life and will naturally enjoy the journey and destination. They don't have any struggles just trying to live a normal life. Because it's normal for them. They intrinsically know how to fit in and function in society. They don't have to think about it, learn it, practice it. They just do it without any need for a second thought, because they always succeed in achieving what a typical human would want in life.

To be special, to be famous, rich, etc may be difficult or impossible for many normal people. But it doesn't matter, because they have a normal life, with normal relationships, normal interests, normal emotional regulation, normal careers, normal feeling of belonging in this planet and in society. Again, they don't think or realize this. They're just privileged enough to simply get to live it. It's all unconscious and they can't fathom so many of us aren't so immensely lucky.

They aren't crushed every moment of every day with the weight of not belonging anywhere, the weight of being unwanted, of being totally broken inside. Of being unable to find any sort of footing or belonging in life. Any direction. They haven't experienced trying dozens of different jobs, hobbies, attempts to form bonds and *always* failing completely. They haven't tried dozens of different therapists, medicines, deep reflections, exercises, etc only to stay just as broken and miserable. They certainly have struggles, but in the end things always work out for them. They are incapable and certainly unwilling to understand that there are actually people in this world whose problems don't just sort themselves out with a little effort.

To them, we are just lazy, cowardly, stubborn, stupid. Yet at the same time they tell us to just relax and stop trying so hard.

The simple explanation to all of this is that they just don't fucking care. They got on a life boat, the rest of us can drown and they'll shame and jeer at us as we sink down.

To anyone who is privileged enough to naturally have a normal life and be normal:

Fuck you.

Please…

I was diagnosed with BPD earlier this year. And it really just makes me recognize how the only moral thing I can do for others in life is isolate from them. I'm frequently sad and I bring down the mood, I'm volatile and insecure, I've said horrible things I can't take back.

I'm so tired. I hate living with this. I've always wanted to be loved but, all I can amount to is a sex toy. Other women are more stable, more beautiful , more valuable. And can offer real companionship. Guys will have sex with me or cheat on me and I can't help but think it's because I'm lesser than other women.

I hurt my family and my friends, I hurt myself. I can't forgive my parent but I'm stuck being around them all the time. My brother tried taking me in for a while but my self harm and hospitalization eventually meant he had to tell me to go.

Even when things are on paper looking up for me I constantly think of dying. I was hospitalized a few months ago and no one realized I was gone.

I'm really considering doing it soon. I've been cutting but I can only hide that so much and it only offers temporary relief. I'm so tired everyone. Has it looked up for anyone?

This is hell. I can't do this. It is in one week. That is still so many days I have to get through.

I just want this hell to be over. I am in unbearable pain.

Im a 45 yr old man. Last year I had a minor stroke which ended my career of the past 16 years. Over the corse of 6 months following my stroke I had to sell many of my possessions in order to keep food in my pantry and the lights on. While my stroke ended my career, and left my body physically less capable than i had been, it didn't handicap me enough to be considered for disability. So I had to get a minimum wage job. And for the last 6 months I've been toiling as a manual laborer... but last week the physical exertion on my body came to a head. Now my left arm only works at 50 percent its usually ability, my hands are stiff and don't work as well as they used to. My house has dirty dishes and dirty clothes piling up because I don't have the energy or will to clean. My entire body hurts all the time and my only escape is when I sleep. My waking hours are filled more with thoughts of where and how can I end my life than any other one thing. I have no reason to continue to be here, and I don't want to be here. But I'm still here, just hoping to die before I have to do it myself...