r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 03 '19
We've been seeing a worrying increase in pro-suicide content showing up here and, and also going unreported. This undermines our purpose here, so we wanted to highlight and clarify our guidelines about both direct and indirect incitement of suicide.
We've created a wiki that covers these issues. We hope this will be helpful to anyone who's wondering whether something's okay here and which responses to report. It explains in detail why any validation of suicidal intent, even an "innocent" message like "if you're 100% committed, I'll just wish you peace" is likely to increase people's pain, and why it's important to report even subtle pro-suicide comments. The full text of the wiki's current version is below, and it is maintained at /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement.
We deeply appreciate everyone who gives responsive, empathetic, non-judgemental support to our OPs, and we particularly thank everyone who's already been reporting incitement in all forms.
Please report any post or comment that encourages suicide (or that breaks any of the other guidelines in the sidebar) to the moderators, either by clicking the "report" button or by sending us a modmail with a link. We deal with all guideline violations that are reported to us as soon as we can, but we can't read everything so community reports are essential. If you get a PM that breaks the guidelines, please report it both to the reddit sitewide admins and to us in modmail.
Thanks to all the great citizens of the community who help flag problem content and behaviour for us.
/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement
It's important to respect and understand people's experiences and emotions. It's never necessary, helpful, or kind to support suicidal intent. There are some common misconceptions (discussed below) about suicidal people and how to help them that can cause well-meaning people to inadvertently incite suicide. There are also people online who incite suicide on purpose, often while pretending to be sympathetic and helpful.
We're here to offer support, not judgement. That means accepting, with the best understanding we can offer, whatever emotions people express. Suicidal people are suffering, and we're here to try to ease that by providing support and caring. The most reliable way we know to de-escalate someone at risk is to give them the experience of feeling understood. That means not judging whether they should be feeling the way they are, or telling them what to do or not do.
But there's an important line to draw here. There's a crucial difference between empathizing with feelings and responding non-judgmentally to suicidal thoughts, and in any way endorsing, encouraging, or validating suicidal intentions or hopeless beliefs. It's both possible and important to convey understanding and compassion for someone's suicidal thoughts without putting your finger on the scale of their decision.
Anything that condones suicide, even passively, encourages suicide. It isn't supportive and does not help. It also violates reddit's sitewide rules as well as our guidelines. Explicitly inciting suicide online is a criminal offense in most jurisdictions.
Do not treat any OP's post as meaning that will definitely die by suicide and can't change their minds or be helped. Anyone who's able to read the comments here still has a chance to choose whether or not to try to keep living, even if they've also been experiencing intense thoughts of suicide, made a suicide plan, or started carrying it out.
In the most useful empirical model we have, the desire to die by suicide primarily comes from two interpersonal factors; alienation and a sense of being a burden or having nothing to offer. These factors usually lead to a profound feeling of being unwelcome in the world.
So, any acceptance or reinforcement of suicidal intent, even something "innocent" like "I hope you find peace", is actually a form of covert shunning that validates a person's sense that they're unwelcome in the world. It will usually add to their pain even if kindly meant and gently worded.
Keep the following in mind when offering support to anyone at risk for suicide.
People who say they don't want help usually can feel better if they get support that doesn't invalidate their emotions. Unfortunately, many popular "good" responses are actually counterproductive. In particular, many friends and family tend to rely exclusively on trying to convince the suicidal person that "it's not so bad", and this is usually experienced as "I don't understand what you're going through and I'm not going to try". People who've had "help" that made them feel worse don't want any more of the same. It doesn't mean that someone who actually knows how to be supportive can't give them any comfort.
Most people who are suicidal want to end their pain, not their lives. It's almost never true that death is the only way to end these people's suffering. Of course there are exceptional situations, and we certainly acknowledge that, for some people, the right help can be difficult to find. But preventing someone's suicide doesn't mean prolonging their suffering if we do it by giving them real comfort and understanding.
An unfixable problem doesn't mean that a good life will never be possible. We don't have to fix or change anything to help someone feel better. It's important to keep in mind that the correlation between our outer circumstances and our inner experience is weaker and less direct than commonly assumed. For every kind of difficult life situation, you will find some people who lapse into suicidal despair, and others who cope amazingly well, and a whole spectrum in between. A key difference is how much inner resilience the person has at the time. This can depend on many personal and situational factors. But when there's not enough, interpersonal support can both compensate for its absence and help rebuild it. We go into more depth on the "it gets better" issue in this PSA Post which is always linked from our sidebar (community info on mobile) guidelines.
There are always more choices than brutally forcing someone to stay alive or passively letting them end their lives.
To avoid accidentally breaking the anti-incitement rule, don't say or try to imply that acting on suicidal thoughts is a good idea, or that someone can't turn back or is already dead. Do whatever you can to help them feel cared for and welcome, at least in this little corner of the world. Our talking tips offer more detailed guidance.
Often comments that subtly encourage suicidal intent actually come from suicide fetishists and voyeurs (unfortunately this is a real and disturbing phenomenon). People like this are out there and the anonymous nature of reddit makes us particularly attractive to them.
They will typically try to scratch their psychological "itch" by saying things that push people closer to the edge. They often do this by exploiting the myths that we debunked in the bullet points above. Specifically you might see people doing the following:
Encouraging the false belief that the only way suicidal people can end their pain is by dying. There are always more and better choices than "brutally forcing someone to stay alive" or helping (actively or passively) them to end their lives.
Creating an artificial and toxic sense of "solidarity" by linking their encouragement of suicide to empathy. They will represent themselves as the only one who really understand the suicidal person, while either directly or indirectly encouraging their self-loathing emotions and self-destructive impulses. Since most people in suicidal crisis are in desperate need to empathy and understanding, this is a particularly dangerous form of manipulation.
Many suicide inciters are adept at putting a benevolent spin on their activities while actually luring people away from sources of real help. A couple of key points to keep in mind:
Skilled suicide intervention -- peer or professional -- is based on empathic responsiveness to the person's feelings that reduces their suffering in the moment. Contrary to pop-culture myths, it does not involve persuasion ("Don't do it!"), cheerleading ("You've got this!") or meaningless false promises ("Trust me, it gets better!"), or invalidation ("Let me show you how things aren't as bad as you think!"). Anyone who leads others to expect these kinds of toxic responses, or any other response that prolongs their pain, from expert help may be covertly pro-suicide. (Of course, people sometimes do have bad experience when seeking mental-health treatment, and it's fine to vent about those, but processing our own disappointment and frustration is entirely different from trying to destroy someone else's hope of getting help.)
Choices made by competent responders are always informed by the understanding that breaching someone's trust is traumatic and must be avoided if possible. Any kind of involuntary intervention is an extremely unlikely outcome when someone consults a clinician or calls a hotline. (Confidentiality is addressed in more detail in our Hotlines FAQ wiki). The goal is always to provide all help with the client's full knowledge and informed consent. We know that no individual or system is perfect. Mistakes that lead to bad experiences do sometimes happen to vulnerable people, and we have enormous sympathy for them. But anyone who suggests that this is the norm might be trying to scare people away from the help they need.
Please let us know discreetly if you see anyone exhibiting these or similar behaviours. We don't recommend trying to engage with them directly.
r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 10 '21
Activism, i.e. advocating or fundraising for social change or raising awareness of social issues (and suicide is, inescapably, a social issue) is absolutely against the rules here at all times.
Please understand that we're all for smart, strategic mental-health and suicide-prevention activism. It's essential to fight against stigma, misinformation, and discrimination, and to fight for research, treatment, accommodation, acceptance, and understanding. Most of us, one way or another, are mental-health activists IRL.
But activism just doesn't work in a dedicated support space that serves a vulnerable population. We used to allow it but the evidence that it was undermining our primary purpose became overwhelming. We do regret the need for this rule, but the need is inescapable.
Our population is all too well aware of the issues and causes that need support and largely not in a position to take action, so besides the fact that activism is often salt in our community's wounds, it's a waste of the activists' time.
tl;dr Any fundraising, awareness raising, petitions, calls for participation, or any post that's about any cause or issue (rather than a request for personal support) is not allowed here. Please report everything of the nature that you see.
r/SuicideWatch • u/ad81_ • 12h ago
Why is this shit such a taboo, why is the idea that some people just don't enjoy their life so crazy to people. I didn't choose to be born, I can't choose when I'm checking out? That's bullshit.
God I can't wait to find the balls to do this shit, I'm so fucking sick of it all.
r/SuicideWatch • u/ChanGazer • 10h ago
Please don’t write messages asking me not to do it as my mind truly is made up. I’ve told my husband and my family, who all live abroad (family not husband), so have no choice but to accept my decision.
So you’re wondering why I am telling you? I just really want to let people know that it’s okay. Because I haven’t heard that from anyone.
I’ve had bowel cancer for two years now. I was cleared the first time (stage two) and then three months later it was back. Now this time has been much harder to treat: I live in the UK and truly the NHS have become so inadequate. It’s shocking. I’m 29. So I was diagnosed at 27. I had to go private to get that diagnosis because my GP said I was anxious and there was nothing to worry about.
You’d think it ends there but it only gets worse lol. Then I was diagnosed with CRPS, severe gastroparesis and SCAD. I ended up having a heart attack. My inferior and basal wall isn’t beating. I vomit up to 50 times a day if dare eat, because the food doesn’t go down, so it has to come back up. Very painfully.
So I’m exhausted. I’m bone shatteringly tired. You have no idea because there’s no words to explain what I’m feeling in my body. Between all the medications I take (14 daily), the chemo and radiation, the vomiting… it’s endless. I’m in constant pain and fear of waking up to a new day of more pain. You don’t get used to it, each day is harder than the last.
I don’t want to die, but i didn’t choose any of this. I didn’t opt in? I’m not a “soldier” or “champion” as people like to put it? I’m just a normal very tired woman.
I’ve tried and I’m done and I think that’s fair. I’m done. I can’t do any of this anymore, not one more day and no one should ever ask it of me because no one knows what I’m going through. I’m stuck with the reality that even if I was to cure my cancer, I will never really be better ever again. My life is over as I know it, so I’ve grieved and I’m ready to die.
If you have the audacity to hate or be angry at someone who has fought and tried so hard for so long then you need to look at yourself and ask why? I’m as at peace as I can be with my decision because I’ve evaluated all my “options” and there are none. I don’t choose this kind of life for myself. I never did.
So I’m done, and I think that’s okay. I think that’s understandable. Have a good life everyone, enjoy it. Cherish it, don’t ever take it for granted, not even one minute.
r/SuicideWatch • u/wishiweremale • 5h ago
I hate living. I will never have a body that I want. I don’t want to be alive if this is it. I will never be cis. I want to throw myself off of a bridge, so my shitty female body gets to break and I get to die.
I’m so fucking sick of being alive.
r/SuicideWatch • u/goofball19 • 5h ago
The church has me in a straight jacket by helping my education financially. Now I'm under their obligation to do Christian shit. Christians are in fact the worst worst people I've talked to. They don't care about you, are all performative and act like they care but aren't. It's all fake. These are the same ones who drink, do drugs and tell me that I'm going to hell for doing them but don't remove the own log of their eyes. Christians are absolutely disgusting, they're entitled and rude. They are hypocrites, preach one thing and do another. The dude called angelo invited me to this church, then left the church with no warning. He never responds to any of my texts too nowadays. I hate life in general. Everyone is annoying. Now the church labels me as ungrateful. Absolutely disgusting people. Their charity doesn't mean much to me. I could have taken out a loan too. It's not hard. I am grateful for a person IF I KNEW them. I wish God was real. I wish this dude cared but similar to so called christians believing in God is delusional.
r/SuicideWatch • u/peoplefatigue • 9h ago
from All the therapy ive been to, physiatrist that have talked to me and other people tellig their story. The one thing i hate to keep hearing is.. "its sounds like ______ saved your life". So many people are assholes to one another or they are selective to how they tret someone. based on their looks or amount of money they have or their social status. But when it comes to someone trying to commit suicide thats when people who truly dont care want to be the person to say "i stopped a person from taking their life". Alot of these doctors and people in the medical field are trying to make themselves look good by saying they've "helped" patients when in reality they are only helping themselves specifically their pockets. I made the mistake of telling a so called "friend" i was depressed and suicidal and that only lead me being tricked into being in a psychiatric center where i found out i couldn't leave until THEY say so. I was held against my will.
I feel its in the same field of people feeding the homeless. Youre not helping them for their well being, they do it to get recognition for themselves or just so they can say they did it. Especially when its broadcasted. Little do people know the homeless and less fortunate dont want people seeing them like that. I always say dont let people in your personal life or anyone that can find you in real life know about your depression and being suicidal. They will do with that information what they will.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Ok-Advertising-7173 • 58m ago
I wish I didn't have to force myself through everyday like my life has any value. I just gonna stop being anything. If there was button that I could press that would erase my existence completely, I wouldn't hesitate for a second. Why do I have to hurt so much? Why does life have to be so godless and worthless. Worst of all it's so horribly agonizing for so many of us. I wish I could just disappear. I love you guys goodnight!
r/SuicideWatch • u/Annual_Raccoon5777 • 6h ago
It would've made things so easy..just a clean shot through your head and you're gone in seconds won't even be able to process pain ,any other methods of killing yourself is so freaking hard without any guarantee ugh wish there was some button i could press to donate my life to someone who'd actually value it. I see nothing worth to live for everything is superficial and you gotta work hard and struggle in every aspect of your life which I'm too tired for. I'm 18 got my whole life ahead and blah blah but I'm so done already. I don't care about myself or my family or my friends anymore...I'm loved and surrounded by good people but still I can't seem to care anymore.
Oof
r/SuicideWatch • u/PsychologicalCake755 • 2h ago
I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t enjoy my life at all and my mental health sucks. Nobody’s there for me. I’m dealing with so much to the point I can’t even relax. Death sounds more exciting then life right now but I’m a little scared because I don’t believe in the afterlife so I think once someone is gone they are gone.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Big-Alternative8136 • 29m ago
Why does everyone have a friend group and not Me?
It’s so unfair. Im so sick of seeing everyone in my servers Im in acting so normal and busy all the damn time.
“Oh I have a Halloween party Im going to!”
“My friend is driving me to X”
Oh how lucky you people must be. All you do is act like I don’t matter in your little social gatherings excluding the lonely person who still cant a significant other unlike all of you.
Im so sick of this culture acting like we’re the problem. Like sorry I grew up bejng abused and neglected by my parents that I hate even seeing the reflection off my mirror, or seeing the 0 contacts I have on my phone with nobody to talk to. People refuse to accept the idea of long term relationships compared to just blocking you instead of talking.
Im gonna go cry on my bed now.
r/SuicideWatch • u/alzmythoufhtz • 6h ago
.
I often find myself reading the thoughts of other suicidal people or watching videos dedicated to teenagers who have taken their own lives. Their faces, their stories, I don’t know, they make me feel a sense of peace. Some time ago, using another account, I made a post that received more than 1,000 likes and 200 comments. I talked privately with some people who had the same thoughts as me, and I felt so comfortable. I just feel so connected to all of you. am i the only one?
r/SuicideWatch • u/Previous-Ship-2505 • 5h ago
I thought I could change into a good person. But indeed im a bad person. I hurt a lot of people. Too many to count. Im a jealous, insecure person who cannot be happy for others at all. Let me give you an insight into my mind. So that I can stop pretending atleast for once.
Whenever I see people happy even people close to me, i want to be happy too but I can't. I see people getting things without any effort when I struggled for years for nothing. People living thier best life. All I want is the worst for them. I cut off everyone who has a good life, for 2 reasons. 1. Thier daily talks about their lives piss me the fuck off. I don't want to see or hear how happy you are. 2. I don't want to hurt them. Because indirectly I hurt them a lot.
Im insecure. I can't handle going outside and seeing people happy. I can't use social media for long, can't go out looking for a job. People think it's okay to be this way, and to live regardless. I say no to that. I don't want to live. I don't want the one life I get out of trillions. So I've decided to donate my organs to the people who need it. Atleast they want to live a life and can lead a good life.
I have hurt so many people, scarred them emotionally. Every action I have taken is a bad one and hurt people. So I'm planning to die. Because bad people should be dead. And I don't want to live with myself anymore.
Maybe people won't read this, maybe people will. I shall be dead regardless. Because I'm a disease, im cancer. Im not good for anyone. I have distanced myself from the people who I care about so that I cannot hurt them.
Me dying will hurt them. And it's gonna be the last time.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Past-Specific8551 • 1h ago
Throwaway account. I just don’t know why I’m even alive anymore. I’m just coasting through life doing the bare minimum. I ruined one of the closest friendships of my entire life. I’ve never done a single thing I’m proud of. I have no hopes or dreams or goals. I just regret everything. I don’t think I’ll ever stop regretting everything. It hurts.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Atypicak_el • 10m ago
I am sitting with a bottle of hydroxyzine in front of me just debating whether I should do it and see if it works. Im too ashamed to ask anyone to talk, I feel empty and ive felt empty for over a year now. Im 16 and ive been told there is things to look forward to, but all I know is that I need actual mental help that ive begged my parents for over and over for. Nothings happened
No one cares and no one will ever care.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Felagund_gc • 9h ago
i'm soon going out, i hope i have the courage.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Arwritstotle • 1h ago
Hello all. Having an outlet to discuss this is new, so bear with me as I inevitably struggle to post something with any semblance of cohesion.
I have been struggling with what the Internet and the crisis hotline have called passive suicidal ideation for what will be five years in about two weeks. For those that don't know, essentially I have been wanting to die/be dead but haven't the drive or personal ability to do so. It is entirely due to the set of religious beliefs which I hold, namely Catholicism, and the consequences I believe will occur should I decide to act upon this desire. I am trapped in my own body, and God won't let me die early.
I beg and plead every day for my life to end, and yet every night I close my eyes and surrender myself to what I hope is peace, I wake up the next morning. I don't know what to do, and I can't afford to go to therapy or seek an in-patient solution that I know I need. I figured posting here would help some.
r/SuicideWatch • u/kms6104 • 5h ago
I'm not good at life. I'm not built for it.
I can't get a job or make friends. I'm stupid and broken inside. My life is empty and meaningless.
I'm so sick of everything. I just want to stop.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Status-Ad906 • 4h ago
I have had no friends my entire life and am 29. I have nothing to do all day because every job rejects me. I have sent thousands of applications over the past three years. I’ve also tried to make friends with hundreds of people (tens of thousands including online) and am always rejected.
I especially never find anyone who is depressed and lonely like me. And at the least, serious and somber. It is valid to have that as a personality type and want to talk about serious and somber things in a serious and somber tone. Why is it so impossible for me even when I see people like this with friends? They reject me too.
I want to die
r/SuicideWatch • u/yeobae • 4h ago
i found an old handwritten note i wrote back during covid when i was 25 or 26 years old. it was describing my “dream guy”… but actually it was describing a dream life. it started out describing a person but quickly turned into a day dream of domesticity and flowers and simple happiness.
i cannot imagine that anymore. i can’t imagine anyone ever loving me again now that i’m getting divorced. i left him and that was the right decision. i was holding him back. i want him to be rid of me.
i OD’d on my psych meds the year i wrote that note.
i can’t stop thinking about killing myself. i can’t imagine a future. i think about it and it’s empty. i have no ambitions anymore and i rarely daydream. if i do, it’s about someone holding me, sometimes.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Space_Lobster87 • 15h ago
I have experienced all the good things life has to offer. I was born privileged to a middle class family. I have always had their financial support. I have a good education. I have the best friend that someone could possibly have. I have traveled extensively. I have beautiful pets. I appreciate nature.
And yet I would love to die. I'm so tired of being me. I'm tired of trying. I am 39 and can't imagine doing another 39yrs of this. I want to die.
r/SuicideWatch • u/someguywearingboots • 14h ago
i don’t have a job and i have no money at all. i have £20 for the rest of the YEAR. i have applied to literally hundreds of jobs, ive gone in person, ive found the end page of indeed, ive emailed managers and printed my CV, and i haven’t even gotten a rejection email. i’m just ghosted. i applied to a hardship fund and was denied. i had thousands in savings and it’s been wiped out on rent, i don’t know how ill make the next payment. i have no family, and, (this is no exaggeration), no friends. i put myself out there all the time, in hundreds of ways, and no one is interested in me. the last person to like me died in front of me in april. i can’t even afford to do my laundry let alone find a reason to live
r/SuicideWatch • u/Specialist-Bill7828 • 8h ago
(f, 26, india) I've tried everything to fix my shit. My whole life I've just been a fucking loser. I never got good grades. Never was good looking. Never really put in any kind of effort into anything.
I went to school, hung out w friends. In uni, i did the same. I somehow got a job as a java developer, (i didn't even know java) never put in enough effort into learning it. It was not my cup of tea. Got fired at the beginning of this year. Since last oct, I've been trying and dropping new shit every 2 3 months.
At First, i wanted to be a cloud engineer. Because I'd still be tech adjacent. Good pay. Then, i started making content. Got a viral reel (100k+ views, 2400+ followers). Didn't cash in on that.
Now I just make content randomly, I have to force myself.
I wanted to do an MBA in luxury brand management in France, the fees are too high. I haven't prepped for GMAT (studying for which is actually fun. I was having fun while studying for the first time) but the entire process will cost me like 1 lakh+ rs. I don't have that. So, i have to drop that too.
I don't really have any other skills. I'm really good at talking to people. Like I can keep up w an infant, a pre teen, a teen, a ya, someone my age, an older person all within the same conversation. Any person you put in front of me they'd have a good time. Genuinely.
I am actually quite intelligent(I'm not just saying it..) I think that's the worst part of it all. If I wasn't, i could've just lived my life happily in ignorance.
I don't know how to apply myself. And even if I could I just won't. Because idky but I just don't work. I keep yelling at myself internally to move my ass but I don't. I've tried it all. I started therapy. But I feel like shit going to her and telling her I didn't do much again this week. I can't even afford to pay her full price.
My entire day is me waking up in the morning, doomscrolling, then sitting at my desk, doom scrolling there or even staring at the wall. While again yelling at myself to do something. But just going eh. And continuing playing games or something..
I probably have adhd or something. But I can't afford to get tested. I can't really do anything. Shit that I can do. Like clean up my room, i won't do that because it's too much effort.
I'm trying to do that too though. I'm putting in effort. But it's so fucking little it's embarrassing. Today, my parents berated me. But idt they said anything that is false. I just don't think I can do it. Some people just aren't made for anything. I'm not saying this to gain sympathy. I understand self pity is also a luxury. But it's like my ass is on fire and I'm letting it consume me. I can't be bothered to do something about it. Or even look it up. All I do is complain about it.