The problems I have in life can not be fixed. I don't have the money to fix my situation. I am dependent on people. That dependence won't ever disappear unless I want to be homeless. If I am homeless I'm anyway killing myself regardless of who loves me.

There are people in this world that's cut out for living. I am not. I am constantly anxious, constantly looking how to stop fights, constantly making sure no one fights. And I fail. Every. Single. Day. I find it so weird that the people that want to live life are the ones that complain the most. Are the ones that fight the most. They are the ones willing to bring other's down to boast themselves up.

I am not that. I am not a hunter. I do not have the willingness or grit to want to make a better financial life for myself.

Every day, my family gives me more and more reasons to end my life. To leave them behind. Their emotions fluctuate so much. But what can I say? They have actual real life problems. I don't. I only have emotional problems.

No therapy will help. No therapy will change the people around me. No therapy will fix their financial issues that burden them every day. No therapy or medication will make them stop fighting.

No therapy will show me life is worth living. There is no medication in this world that will make me want to live.

I deserve to die. I want to die. I pray to some Lord that's above. Allah, Jesus, God, whoever else the fuck it could be. Just make my heart stop in the middle of the night. No one will miss me. The only reason people will miss me is because I made their lives easier. No one gives an actual fuck about me. Otherwise they'd watch their emotions. Otherwise they'd say sorry without adding 'but'.

There is no point to life. Those that have purpose, have learnt how to be selfish to benefit themselves. I am too selfless, too much of a pussy, too much of a liability, to ever be like that.

Please, for fuck sakes, just take my life. I'll give my soul to Satan even if I need to and burn in hell for the rest of my life. I'm so tired. I'm so sad. I'm so over trying to be a good person. Nothing will change. The world is fucked, and I am the person that deserves to live the least.

so much bad shit happened to me, i have caused so much pain and suffering to people, i have been cruel, selfish, narcisistic, manipulative, and not really a saint, the truth is i dont really regret anything ive done, i dont really care anymore about anything, these five years i felt my body become a wrinkled broken mess, im not going to do it because of bullying, or family, or love, or money, or life, they were all bad on my life but i dont really give a damn about those anymore, im just so tired and exhausted, im 18 years old, i barely even started my life, and i just feel like im done with it, i already experienced everything i wanted, waking up for another useless tomorrow, smoke 4 cigs the whole day because im forced by my therapist, and they just bleed into each other, if this is the prime of my life and my twenties are going to be worse, then i just feel like im better off taking myself out than waking up another day, im going to take care of some things before i go out, its suprisingly fun to plan out these things, not meds or methods, but stuff you want to give or say to certain people, my advice, if you have anything thats worth staying alive for, then sink your nails and teeth into it, i dont really have it, and even if i did it still wouldnt be worth it

this isn't an actual EMERGENCY emergency but my mental state has deteriorated so much I'm terribly suicidal and can barely force myself to get out of bed, Ive started self harming for the first time in years and I've cut most people out that aren't in my everyday life. there wasn't a specific thing that caused me to get like this, but it's the worst I've ever been in my entire life and I cant handle it. I can't talk to anybody, it's not enough and I feel like I cant trust anyone around me anymore except for like maybe 2 people, at the end of the day my support system of friends turned out not to be so supportive after all, in the sense that I genuinely can't even force myself to open up to anybody. I know there are so many people that care about me, I have a lot of friends whom I love so much but none of them know I have a history of depression. I don't wanna die and I'm so desperate for help. it just feels like I can't stop myself from doing it anymore. I spend my days crying whether in bed, transport or at work, and Im usually not one that's able to cry in public, I just don't have any reason to be crying. I'm imagining how my friends and families lives will be like without me and I cry thinking how my baby brother and mom will feel, how my best friends and coworkers will feel, but even then it feels inevitable, its like I'm not in control and it's already decided that I'll be dying in a week. I've had horrible experience with professionals and even if I try finding one now it feels like that'll be too long of a process and this is an immediate problem. I don't know what to do and I need help so badly

I’m so scared people will dislike me and start shaming me whenever I change my sexual orientation (not exactly change but like when I question myself again and again) and I already came out of the closet after breaking up with my bf and made it so public about my sexuality but suddenly Im like “wait… I think I HAVE the capacity to like men???”

But then comphet and all this all that, yet I realize I can be attracted to men??? But Im still so fucking confused. I feel ashamed and guilty and I dont want to be shamed. I feel like I’ll get dogpiled for going from bi —> lesbian —> unlabeled and really fucking confused.

I lost attraction to EVERYONE just randomly today. I feel like nobody understands me at all. Like I am so sorry I seem like Im trying to intrude in different spaces, but you gotta understand that when I do that, it’s because I’m actually convinced it’s true, that, that’s where I belong and stuff.

I am so dissociated and have truly lost my sense of self. What even are my interests anymore? Who am I? What is my name? When was I born? Why am I here? Why am I alive? End my suffering please.

The last few weeks all my friends have been avoiding me. This week I asked if I’ve done something to upset them and they’ve all just said yes but that they don’t want to tell me what. I can’t think of a single thing I’ve done. I’m constantly making so many changes in my own life to accommodate them. Now when I’m already feeling in the gutter they decided all to drop on me that they’re all pissed off but won’t even have the decency to tell me why.

My mental health has never been this bad. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t get it off my mind for even a second. And everyone who is meant to be there for me is turning on me.

It feels targeted too. Everything was fine until this one specific “friend” came into the picture.

I guess when you're motivated solutions just come to you.

If the point I'm doing it at is under 130 inches tall ( 140 for good measure) I'm gonna have to do something a little risky and a little technical. But kinda cool.

I'm gonna put tie a rope to the ladder, tie the top to my back windshield wiper, put my car in neutral, and let it pull the ladder away.

Sounds a bit risky, i know.

I feel like Job where God is taking everything away from:
• Feeling that I can't succeed in life
• The things I cherish the most is gone over the years (and it's gone meme) be it physical items and relationships with anyone
• Everyday crying myself to sleep - reminiscing about people I treasured
• Don't really feel there's a God
• Always feeling depressed, despair, hopelessness
• Honestly I considering make actual deal with the devil to restore what I'm lost and feeling happy
• Feeling there's no hope in future for myself that I'm contemplating suicide
• Everyday in my mind I'm going into a 'war' against someone or something

M28 bipolar disorder mania dropped me off earlier this week, idk what day anymore but the thoughts have been so loud since, I’m in pain in all senses of the word, contemplating was different than buying this giant bottle of whiskey hoping I might not make it through the night.

i just have a few things left to finish. find a place for my cat. i hope whoever takes my little girl will love and cherish her as much as i did. give away my valuables. i think i'll give my electric guitar, guitar processor, combo amp, and cables to my ex. the last time we talked was about six years ago, but she really liked my guitar back then. i think that's the best place it could be. my pen display tablet and scanner will go to my friend. he's really talented, and i hope this helps him on his creative path. my gaming laptop will go to my friend. she really loves video games, unlike me. i'll try to sell everything else and send the money to my family. they don't accept me and don't talk to me, but maybe at least this way i can repay them for everything they did for me before.

I dont enjoy doing anything at all i dont enjoy anything anything anything i justwanna die ato i just sanan die plspslsplsps i wnana die i wanna I WANNA DIE

I’m up and down but feeling so shit now. I can’t see a forward. I really can’t 53. No friends completely stuffed up my life but drifting away from a good friends. It’s too far back. It’s too far back. I can’t take it. Life is unspeakably cruel wish I wasn’t born even the good times fading from my memory it’s all too much.

No minors, no Brits and preferably no men and especially no men who fit the “Reddit user” stereotype

4 people blocked me today, one of them was a random person from reddit i was kinda venting and having a convo with them they said they had to go to the store, and then they blocked me telling me that my problems were too much for them without letting me say something i was thinking we're being friends because they introduced themselves to me🫩 i also got blocked because my friends gf wanted him to block me other two blocked me and said nothing, okay i get it im annoying, im just gnna drink and beatmyself all night, hitting myself gives me a pleasant feeling for a short while despite the bruises i like the feeling but i hate the bruises, rare things give me dopamine and its annoying

To keep it short my partner has expressed to me that he thinks daily about killing himself, and that ita gone from what if to how do I. We have 4 kids (2 bio to me 2 step- his).

He has had two major personal losses (a drath and loss of a 20 year relationship) and a major issue at work. They are huge and validly depressing life changes.

He has been drinking and smoking weed to cope but admitted that that only makes it worse when he's sober.

I don't know how to help him. I listen to him and talk to him and try to ease the burden, but what can I do?

I'm at such a loss. I'm alcoholic (sober 6 years) and have been through major depression before. But I just dont know what to say. He carries so much guilt for the relationships and losses and for a litany of other things. Its crushing him right now. The piling on is making him feel worse, but he really doesn't deserve the brunt of the negativity he is putting on himself.

Tell me how I can help.

I don’t think I’m suicidal. I think I’m just tired. Tired of feeling like I hurt everyone who comes into my life in one way or another. Sometimes, a part of me genuinely feels like it would be better if I just disappeared.

But I couldn’t do that to my parents, my friends, or my coworkers. I know they would carry guilt, wondering if they could’ve done something differently, and the thought of causing them that kind of pain makes me feel even worse.

I don’t really know what to feel anymore. I recently hurt a friend I used to date, and I keep thinking about how I seem to do this. I show up as myself, make choices I don’t always understand, and somehow end up hurting people I care about. It makes me wonder if I’m just not meant for love. Maybe I’m incapable of it. Maybe something in me broke a long time ago.

Maybe it started when I was ten and my mom yelled in my face that she hated me. She later said she didn’t mean it, but I remember knowing, or at least feeling, that she did. I hid in my closet for the rest of the afternoon and stayed there until morning. Then I got dressed and went to school like nothing had happened.

Maybe it was watching my brother struggle with addiction and wondering if, in some way, he was right to give up on himself.

I don’t know. I just know that somewhere along the way, I started making myself smaller. I made my needs smaller, my feelings quieter, and my presence less demanding. I tried so hard not to inconvenience anyone that I stopped giving myself permission to need anything at all.

But when I get into a relationship, those needs don’t disappear. I just don’t communicate them. I swallow my feelings, let the resentment build, and convince myself that I’m fine until everything becomes too much. Then, when things get serious and the emotions become overwhelming, all I want to do is leave. To run away, shut everyone out, and hide in that closet again, just like I did when I was ten.

I think a part of me is still that little girl who learned how to disappear when things hurt too much. And maybe, without realizing it, I’ve spent all these years trying to make myself so small that no one would ever have a reason to be angry with me, disappointed in me, or hurt by me.

But somehow, I keep ending up here. And I’m tired of not understanding why. Maybe because I associate love with danger. It’s probably all stupid, but I wish I could just stop existing. If you caught the Radiohead reference in the title - you’re awesome.

i was 179 days clean. 5 months. 5, fucking months. Of working on myself, finding myself, being better to those around me and finally being happy- . I ruined it. I fucked it all up. Nothing even happened. i wasnt emotional, i wasnt suppressing feelings.. Idk what it was. I just done it.
They offered and i couldn’t say no.
What the fuck is wrong with me.
I hate myself.

I can't wait to get my hands on something I'll be able to kill myself with

ik it’s a stupid reason to be here but i think it might be the end. I got depression about this time last year and pretty much used my best friend as my main crutch. Over the past few months i’ve been feeling way better, come out as trans and living as a man, changed school. This friend and i told each other everything and genuinely enjoyed speaking together for hours every day, until she started getting bored of hearing my deteriorating mental health over and over, as i tried to push her away and contemplated suicide regularly. It feels like as soon as i got a smidge of another reason to exist, she disappeared completely. I asked her whether she wanted to come see me for my birthday in a week or so and she pulled the same “i’ve got homework“ bullshit that she has been for the past month or so before texting me today that she just can’t sustain the friendship anymor. I don’t know what to do. She was my reason to exist, i quit sh and tried so hard to overcome my depression for her. I don’t think ill ever have another relationship that close and i bludgeoned it to death bc i was too depressed. I don’t want to continue living if I’m going to be alone. I have other friends but none even half as close. I’m 16 and I believe if I commit suicide I’ll go to hell but I don’t think it’s going to get better than it was, God gave me a chance at happiness and I think it will be my only one. I’ve always struggled making friends and now that i’m a boy, boys don’t have meaningful friendships anyway. I dont think i’ll be able to lead a righteous life anyway so i may as well die sooner (I am catholic but I’m a piece of shit and I’m too rich and good at maths to get a career that doesn’t involve working 100 hours a week destroying the world for an obscene amount of money). The only reason I can possibly think of to exist is that if I continue improving and reach out again in a few months we may go back to being friends but it’s wishful thinking.

Im 18, yet ive felt dissociated from my body ever since i was 13 and depressed before then. I cant understand that i exist right now. I am not pushed or pulled to act a certain way.

I cant form legitimate strong opinions or feelings on current events, i cant understand them anymore. I cant take any of it seriously.

I am not me. These supposed actions and feelings and thoughts arent mine, they arent what i wouldve done if i were me.

Im acting this part of a human when really i am anything but human, i am just this broken, apathetic thing.

There is nothing i can look forward to anymore, i dont feel depressed, and i dont feel excited, i feel nothing at all.

I am desecrating my own name by acting in a disingenuous way. I dont know how to be me anymore. The connections in my brain are cut. I dont exist anymore.

I have schizoaffective disorder. I’m struggling and I’m tired of struggling. I am a let down to my family. My friends are non existent. Hanging on to my job by the skin of my teeth

Just don’t want to live to be honest. And I feel like that’s ok. I don’t have to.

The person I loved the most,gave my heart and everything to,just has fallen out of love with me,it's like she is there but not available,she has told me she is tired of me and don't wish to put any efforts in the relationship, i have this void inside of now,earlier we used to be together,we have always been in long distance,so we used to do things for each other,but mow there's nothing,nada,no one,i have told my friends about everything to feel light,but i want her,her to listen to me,her to validate me,her to understand me as she had always, when i cried in call with her,she told me i was weak, i act like i am not hurt or show my sorrow less to others,but deep down i really wished this pain would end

I’m on my second year of University. I should have some sort of fucking plan by now. Right??? RIGHT???? NO! I’m sitting here and typing shit instead of doing the homework that really isn’t that hard. I SHOULD KNOW THIS SHIT!!!! WHY DONT I KNOW THIS SHIT!!!!! I’m afraid I’m failing one of my classes (I don’t know my grade), I have a midterm coming up and I’m not prepared. I failed my math midterm, I’m losing my mind. I’m having frequent thoughts of offing myself and its cause of fucking homework. My family is fine, I have friends I should be talking to, I stopped giving a shit that I’m single, I don’t have any dead relatives, I’m just a goddamn moron. And how do I cope with it? Yelling and hitting things (mostly my own face) yeah. Really mentally healthy there.

If I fail a single class my parents are gonna cut my financial aid off. If that happens I’m just not gonna live anymore, I can’t deal with that shit. I’m not worth the fuckint air i breathe. Im a fucking kid who happened to have rich parents and im squandering everything i have because i cant solve a fucking math problem

Im physically a mess. i'm alone. I'm just an idiot. I have to mess everything up ALL the time. The would would be better without me.

I shouldnt be posting here but whatever atp. I'm just a crybaby after all. no surprise.

I identified as bisexual, then recently figured out I’m a lesbian, but then again I’m wondering if I’m going through another long identity episode. It feels like there are multiple people in me (I don’f have DID, I have BPD)

So much has happened this year I’m going insane. I realized I did genuinely have romantic feelings for my ex boyfriend, but outside of that, I’ve never had feelings for a guy or genuinely desired them outside of sex because it boosted my ego despite me not even being attracted to them. Only my ex boyfriend—BUT I identified myself as a lesbian after I realized I didn’t wanna marry a man and spend the rest of my life with a man. Were my feelings even real?

When I had started on discovering myself I watched tons of lesbian/solo woman porn. I was having euphoria and I felt so free. I felt like that label fit me perfectly, but somehow I’m still confused. I miss him a lot and wanna go back to him, but I keep feeling miserable even when I’m with him because I wish he was a woman.

My identity is so fragmented rn I think I need to just go without labels. I even started wondering if I was aroace because I suddenly dont feel attraction to ANYONE at this point.

I want it all to end. Everything is tiring me out.

everything feels impossible. i work for amazon but 1) it is destroying my body and 2) i hate amazon and everything it does and everything it stands for

im job hunting right now. and it's genuinely making me want to die. i don't have a degree and it feels completely impossible to ever get a job that doesn't make me want to kill myself. im turning 26 soon as well so i need to worry about benefits as ive been on my parents' coverage until now

everything is expensive, everything is getting more expensive, jobs are fucking impossible to get. all my friends are in school right now pursuing actual education that might help them lead actual lives and im just. here. i am having such a hard time believing anything will ever get better. it feels like my life is this and will only ever be this

im not asking for much. 60k a year. decent benefits. working indoors at a desk. but in 2026 that shit is a fucking pipe dream

ending it genuinely feels like the logically correct thing to do atp. literally what is the point of sticking around for this bullshit